topic Maybe it's not "normal" after all... in Anxiety

Maybe it's not "normal" after all...

Earthbound — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 06:44:57 GMT

NB the quote marks for "normal". Hi, this is my first post here.

Where to begin? I've always had a high sensitivity to most things around me, including sound & noise. Late 2019, I had to move from my place of 20 years into a new house that has been somewhere between a trial by fire and extended dark night of the soul. Every single button that could be pressed for me has been consistently pressed hard.

eg It's on a flight path - right overhead, several per hour, early morning to late night.

A neighbour across the road with his own longterm issues has been cranking extremely loud music literally any time of the day or night with zero consideration for anyone around him. He's been fined more than once, arrested and sectioned. None of this has stopped his behaviour. He's sometimes started at 3am on a weekday morning, or 6am. He likes to yell loudly to the world while this happens too.

I've had a lifelong phobia of dogs. There's one that starts when I go anywhere near the back fence, so I don't.

Put all that together, and it's hellish.

It's part of a housing co-op and I'm not sure there's anywhere else for me to go within that. I'm in Adelaide, btw.

What I've done to mitigate the sound to a large extent is get some noise cancelling headphones, which work really well, and some similar earpods for sleeping in. Again, good. Makes a huge difference. But - I resent the fact that I have to use them because I feel so uncomfortable in the area (not one I would choose to live in in any case), and also because of my sensitivity, I find myself constantly listening out for the noise, or anything that might resemble it, so there's no real respite.

I was talking to someone a little while ago who has much experience in mental health and when I mentioned the "always listening out", she saw that as a red flag that I really do need to talk to someone, rather than keep enduring everything. As I say in the heading, that's what's been "normal" for me, just living with all this crap.

That's fine, but the matter of expense is a concern for me. But I figured asking around here, there might be some ideas as to who / where / how, and maybe others who know about this level of sensitivity (which I don't see as any type of weakness - quite the opposite - but it sure as hell complicates things sometimes).

I tend to see everything as a learning experience, but I've learned enough from this one now, thanks!

Any thoughts or help very much appreciated.

Maybe it's not "normal" after all...

white knight — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 07:21:40 GMT

Hi, welcome

You arent alone on this topic. We have a guy that visits the house over the road and when he leave he blows his horn repeatedly. He might only be gone 3 minutes and blows it again upon his return etc. Not near as bad as your issue though.

Your neighbour is inconsiderate. Also likely immature in that he needs to band his chest out for attention by yelling out with the music.

One suggestion I have is to have a quiet word to other neighbours and if you get enough of them that agrees with you ask them to visit en mass to his place to ask him nicely to tone down the volume or wear headphones. It is however possible he'll turn the volume up!

My other suggestion is to move out. Seek a quiet small town and preferably with a house on its boundary, not on a main arterial road.

Apart from double even triple glazed windows there is little you can do but continue to report him to the police/local by-laws officer for ongoing penalties which might take effect if he gets enough of them.

TonyWK

Maybe it's not "normal" after all...

Earthbound — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 08:08:27 GMT

Hi white knight, thanks for the reply! I ran out of characters the first time so I can expand a bit now.

I've only met a couple of the neighbours, and one of whom seemed like they might be worth talking to, until I saw problem dude go into her house for a visit. So I don't know who I can trust and who might let him know that it's me asking around.

I have no idea how others around the place are putting up with it. A couple of police visits weren't of my doing, so there must be other neighbours fed up, but I don't know who.

When he was arrested & sectioned, he was led down the street in the early hours yelling various conspiracy theories eg chemtrails and "Illuminati police", so I don't think there's any point trying to be reasonable with him. Far more likely to make it worse out of spite, as you say.

And I can do precisely nothing about the planes.

I was hopeful of getting a new place via the housing co-op but I'm not sure if that will happen or not. But it can't go on like this.

The idea of a small country town has a definite appeal but as a non-driver (not the sort of thing you should do if you're not good at it...), it presents its own problems.

Aagh.

But thanks again!