topic Relative pushing Religion...HELP! in Anxiety

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

blondguy — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 13:49:26 GMT

Hi Everyone (new posters too!)

Ive been putting off writing this post for a long time as I am stuck...and its impacting on my mental health

I have no problem with religion as I had a solid Christian upbringing when I lived in Ontario Canada when I was little. For the last 4 years my sister keeps sending me texts/emails to accept Jesus Christ and I will be devoid of any further anxiety health issues if I do so

This is what I have been firmly told to do....

* If I accept Jesus Christ 'I wont require my medication anymore'

* I must get rid of anything in my home that is 'Evil'....music..movies...artwork that reflect any evil..

* I cant donate my copies of the Exorcist...The Omen...Friday 13th etc to charity as they have to be destroyed to prevent the devils presence

* My sister wont post on the forums because I gently mentioned that Religion is a very 'Personal matter' and not a 'fix all' for mental health

* Unfortunately I have had to block her from my cell as the preaching never stops

This isnt a religious thread topic...Its about the impact that my 54 year old sister has on my well being. Any advice is welcome from religious or non religious people of any faith would be great! Thankyou for taking the time to read my post

my kindest......Paul

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

geoff — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 19:57:08 GMT

Hello Paul, a difficult topic to discuss when someone has only one thought in mind, but believing in a religion is a personal choice which we either carry on from what we've been brought up with or make our own decision based on our circumstances and the reasons why.

It's part of your own identity and should not be forced onto trying to convince another person into believing what they have to say.

It's also the same as trying to convince a person to change political parties, it can't be done, and as soon as someone tries to convince you of their religious belief and then enforce their belief on you, they also need to hear the other side as well, that's if you want to discuss it.

I've had many past relatives who tried to change my belief and go to church, pray everyday and believe there is a higher beam to look over us, but I don't believe in any religion, although if people want to have a faith, that's fine by me and I would never argue with them, that's their choice.

I know many people on the forums believe in some religion, and I say good to you, but all I don't want to be annoyed into believing something I don't believe in.

I'm sorry Paul you have to be subjected to this by your sister, she is entitled to her belief but shouldn't be criticising you for doing what you want to do, it's entirely a personal choice.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

Summer Rose — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 21:39:31 GMT

Hi Paul

You are a very kind and patient man to put up with your sister’s religious messages for four years. I know I would have acted sooner, in all honesty.

I would hope that most people experiencing mental health conditions or not understand that religion is not a substitute for medication or professional treatment. I think the underlying suggestion that somehow being unwell and requiring medication is your fault because you haven’t accepted Jesus into your heart is very harmful.

The really sad thing is that I’m guessing your sister doesn’t want to harm you. She likely loves you very much and wants to help—but her world view leaves no room for dissent.

Once people go “down the rabbit hole” —whether it be views on religion, politics or whatever—I think it’s near impossible to change their thinking.

The best outcome might be to agree to disagree and not discuss religion. Keep the block in place. And accept that while your sister is entitled to her views, you are equally entitled to yours and the maintenance of boundaries that safeguard your health.

Kind thoughts to you

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

romantic_thi3f — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 23:38:12 GMT

Hi Paul,

Thank you for sharing this with us. This is absolutely something I can relate to.

Personally, I'm not religious although I have a family who is catholic and significantly varied in their beliefs around mental health and physical health. If all of we had to do was accept our beliefs in Jesus Christ then we wouldn't find any mental illness in churches, chapels, nuns.. it even got so extreme that one of my family members suggested that I participate in an exorcism ritual.

I think it's a kudos to you to set boundaries with your sister- I've never been able to block calls but for the most part I distract as much as I can and try to reinforce that this isn't something I want to talk about today.

For me, I respect my family for their beliefs- I think having faith is very powerful and admirable to have something so strong to believe in, but I also draw the line at anything to do with preaching or disrespecting your own views and ways of living.

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

blondguy — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 05:42:09 GMT

Hi Geoff Summer Rose and romantic_thi3f

I really appreciate your help on this difficult issue

You have provided me with some peace of mind...knowing I am not alone

Thankyou so much for replying, and of course for all the care you show to other members too!

Happy Friday

Paul

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

smallwolf — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 10:59:50 GMT

Hey Paul. Just came upon this topic.

So you might know that that I am a christian, an Anglican. I mentioned elsewhere about having a chat with 2 people plus my psychologist this week. These chats all resolved around some religious stuff from my youth and or the sake of this conversation that I had sinned and was condemned. And I told them that without having heard the podcast it would have been something I would take to the grave. These thoughts came back after listening to a podcast recently.

The 2 priests said that what I did was not a sin in any way shape or form. Just the "truth" that other might tell you is NOT the truth at all. There may also be ulterior motives to their actions? True story... someone I know felt they had to send a book to a friend otherwise they would go to hell.

I like black metal... does not make me a bad person. Not listening to it would not change anything.

I have read books from christian authors talking about depression and have said if you need medication to use it. Don't listen to others.

The books / movies you have mentioned do you make you a bad person. Yet there are some people i know who would have a similar view to your sister.

I guess this must be a frustrating and upsetting for you. Some some people I can say the person is OK and their behaviour was wrong. For others their behaviour was inexcusable.

lastly, the only persons I take advice from in the area of my mental health are my psychologist and psychiatrist. NOBODY ELSE. And and well meaning as your sister might be ... hopefully a gentle reminder like this last sentence is all you need.

Your involvement in this forums show you are a good person.

If I as a christian who believes and I have depression and suicidal thoughts... what does say about me.

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

blondguy — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 12:27:41 GMT

Thankyou Tim for your gentle counsel and understanding

It is very upsetting for me Tim...

My sister has mentioned many times that she has thrown out her prescriptions (from her GP/Psychiatrist) as 'accepting Jesus' has healed her from her hyper vilagence . I have never argued this point as its her own belief.

I dont think she is well as she also smashed her Buddha statue with a sledgehammer as 'apparently' its evil. I receive a minimum of 2 links/emails a day about accepting Jesus Christ our lord which will 'let me be free from taking medication'

Thanks for mentioning 'the only persons I take advice from in the area of my mental health are my psychologist and psychiatrist. NOBODY ELSE'....absolutely spot on Tim. Ditto here!

As per my relative...'Psychiatrists and Psychologists are evil'..She doesnt do drugs..drink etc

I have a ton of experience where anxiety/depression is concerned (37 years) yet I cant lead a horse to water here

my respect and appreciation Tim

Paul

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

smallwolf — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 02:12:38 GMT

Hi Paul... me again...

Had to have a small chuckle at your statement on the Buddha statue. If you go back to my previous post ...

I mentioned seeing my psychologist. When I was chatting with her, and drawing on her whiteboard - a diagram for beliefs and a check list for believing / belonging / being good and how I can't use that check list because of things I accept or believe that others might say is wrong.

My psychologist mentioned this before... a book titled "living buddha living christ". You can look it up on amazon or goodreads if you are. I bought the book and only just started it. (I believe that many/all "religions" have something to offer and to says there is only one way ignores teaching of love and compassion.

Sorry for the rant. If you want chat some more?

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

Summer Rose — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 02:22:54 GMT

Hi Paul

Smallwolf’s post reminded me of a great book, The Book of Joy, which you might want to read.

The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu discussing the nature of joy, obstacles to joy and the pillars of joy—and so much more.

Highly recommend it as good for the soul.

Kind thoughts to you

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

Paw Prints — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 14:22:06 GMT

Hello Paul,

I have no religious beliefs... I do have friends who have very strong beliefs... our friendships work because we clearly agreed to respect each others beliefs & to not try to impose our beliefs on each other.

Leaving aside the religion... if another person is harassing you for whatever reason.. then regardless of who they are... you need to put in boundaries to protect yourself... if they refuse to respect the boundaries you set then they leave you no option but to cut contact...

I supported my sister's decision to cut contact with our alcoholic brother...because of (among other things) his constant calls in person or on the phone at all hours... all of which he was unable/unwilling to refrain from ... the strain became to much for her... she eventually moved house to a new location which we never revealed to him. Sadly he never meant any harm... but then nor could he see the harm he was causing.

Paws

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

geoff — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 15:53:47 GMT

Hello romantic_thi3f, a good comment if all of we had to do was accept our beliefs in Jesus Christ then we
wouldn't find any mental illness in churches, chapels, nuns, but I wonder how many people who go to church are suffering from a mental disorder.

As Tim said these books / movies you have mentioned do not make you a bad person, as well as ' someone I know felt they had to send a book to a friend otherwise they would go to hell is only a way of indoctrination with the possibility of infiltrating a type of fear if not carried out.

Paw Prints has remarked if they refuse to respect the boundaries you set then they leave you no option but to cut contact, although I know it's your sister and she probably disappoints you, which is understandable because future decisions will need to be made and if you're not on the same page of knowing what is the best choice to make, makes it become very awkward for you.

Can I ask a question, does a person who behaves like your sister believe they have more authority than someone who doesn't agree with them.

My best.

Geoff.

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

blondguy — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 09:27:29 GMT

Hi Tim and thankyou heaps for your support... you never rant by the way! I had a chuckle too Tim when the Buddha statue was pummeled..oh my! Madonna's Greatest Hits also was broken into little pieces as apparently that was evil too!. Thankyou for the reference ' living buddha living christ' Is Anglican similar to Church of England? ...I am COE ..Any help is always welcome Tim 🙂

Hi Summer Rose! Always a bonus to read your posts.....and thankyou for your help again! You have a kind heart. I appreciate your reference re ' The Book of Joy' with The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu. Can I buy it online?

Hi Paw Prints! thankyou for helping me out..Especially when you mentioned ' if another person is harassing you for whatever reason.. then regardless of who they are... you need to put in boundaries to protect yourself' Your reassurance is greatly appreciated! Good on your sister (with your help) making that decision with your brother

Hi Geoff....thankyou for being so supportive on this frustrating issue. Your help is always appreciated. You asked an excellent question "does a person who behaves like your sister believe they have more authority than someone who doesn't agree with them"

My answer would be 'yes'...whether its my sister or anyone else there are some people that wont tolerate any other opinions unless it fits their own criteria....unfortunately

I am very concerned about her mental health yet that is a 'no go zone' so I am content knowing I have done everything I can to care for her well being....without preaching of course

so many amazing people...thankyou 🙂

my kind thoughts....Paul

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

CMF — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 09:40:21 GMT

Hi Paul,

So sorry to hear what you're experiencing and also to read elsewhere your dear Mum is not well.

I think you've done the right thing blocking your sister, for your own well-being. Does she have a partner or someone with whom you can discuss what's happening,that it's affecting you & to keep an eye on her MH?

Take care my friend.

CMF x

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

blondguy — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 10:00:39 GMT

Hi CMF

thankyou so much...and always great to see you too! (and have your TLC) She has had a partner that isnt around any much anymore as he grew weary about being told to accept Jesus Christ to find peace in his life..

you are amazing CMF...always have been

Hugz

Paul x

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

geoff — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 19:46:19 GMT

Hello Paul, I would absolutely agree with you, unless it fits their own criteria, and people in this situation have no fear of telling us to believe in as they do.

My ex had an auntie who had 100 % belief in religion and expected everyone to agree with her, so most had to agree with ever she wanted to do, no matter what.

That's not giving anybody the freedom they're after and don't agree.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

Summer Rose — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 22:46:52 GMT

Hi Paul

Not sure if you can buy the book online. I’m old school, bought it at the shops. My adult kids say I’m a dinosaur!

Thanks for your kind words.

Kind thoughts to you

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

romantic_thi3f — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 23:27:04 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank you for calling me out on that! That was a total miscommunication on my part - I was being sarcastic in my post, because we do find mental illnesses in churches and chapels. Nobody is immune from having a mental illness regardless of who you are, what you believe in or where you come from.

To me I was pointing it out because it's 'tunnel vision thinking', which is super important to recognise when there's conversations like these. If there even was a devil, I don't think he'd really care what movies I was watching!

Hope that makes sense. Hope you are doing well Geoff 🙂

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

smallwolf — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 11:44:43 GMT

Paul,

you can get kindle versions of the the books mentioned here on kindle.

Anglican and COE are (virtually) the same thing.

if you do have any questions or want to vent or chat more.... you know I will respond with care.

Tim

Relative pushing Religion...HELP!

geoff — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 13:58:42 GMT

Hello RT thanks I knew what you were meaning, no worries.

Geoff.