topic How anxiety interferes with my life in Anxiety

How anxiety interferes with my life

Fairylights7 — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 16:30:57 GMT

Hi, I’m new here and my anxiety has spiralled. I’m writing this at 3am cause I can’t sleep. Right now I’m in exam season and I have an awful headspace - I’m from Vic so I’ve been in iso for a really long time - and now I can’t bring myself to care enough for my studies. I struggled in online learning, I’m failing maths and have 3 days to cram for my exams.

But not usually is my anxiety related to school, it’s nearly everything but. Personally I’ve dealt with anxiety since I was probs 7 - when I saw my first psychologist. Back then it was pretty bad, it was like I was constantly fighting with my brain.

At that time my anxiety was so bad. It was so hard to get thru each day. My mind was flooded with irrational and absurd thoughts. I remember a lot from back then because it impacted me quite a bit. Just so you get the gist, one time after watching a scary news segment on batteries, my mind engraved the idea that batteries were in the middle of my penne pasta. Crazy I know, absolutely ridiculous! but that didn’t matter, my mind flooded with those thoughts. Around 9 was when I had a lot of panic attacks and irrational thoughts.

I’m 18 but for the past 2 years I’ve had the worst social anxiety. I worry about everything. I’m not independent but I want to be. I can’t go out by myself, I try my best to minimise it at least. I guess I think everyone is looking at me, judging me. I overthink every situation and after conversations with people I repeat what I said to myself and become so critical. I hate crowds, they cause me to have a panic attack. It’s so hard to deal with. I can’t order, I will not go someplace that I want because of ordering (more so if I’ve never been there b4) I feel so nervous and panic or if the place looks ‘intimidating’ (like super busy or has a lot of employees) then nah I’m not going. My anxiety causes me to think of every possible thing someone I approach could say or ask. and my anxiety stops me from wearing what I want because I think people will judge me.

it’s exhausting and I guess I’m putting this on here to express how I feel 😕

Anxiety stops me from a lot of things I want to do. My goal is to get a job. But I don’t think I can, the whole process of an interview and being awkward on your first day and not doing a good job and meeting new people scares me, that’s probably ‘normal’ but in my head I can only think of every possible thing I could do wrong.

So how does Anxiety interfere with your life? And how do you overcome it?

How anxiety interferes with my life

Sophie_M — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 16:47:48 GMT

Hi Fairlylights7,

Welcome to our wonderful forums! We are so glad you've decided to join us and made the brave step in sharing your experience here. It's not easy to open up beyond a therapist's office and we are very proud of you. We can hear that you are worried about your upcoming exams and how isolation has made it harder to focus. You said you've struggled with anxiety since a young age and we are so sorry it has been such a challenge for you. Anxiety affects lots of people and it can be very difficult to try and manage it, especially when it feels like it is stopping from doing the things you want. You have come to a safe, non-judgmental place where other members can provide you with insight and input from their own experiences with anxiety.

Can we ask if you are still seeing a psychologist or similar about anxiety? You can also call Kids Helpline to talk to a caring counselor at 1800 55 1800 or their webchat at https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling . Talking to someone who has knowledge of anxiety and depression can be really helpful and then it doesn't feel like you are struggling all by yourself. You can also check out Beyond Blue's resources and information on different types of anxiety here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety

We hope you will find the support you need. Please keep checking in here to let us know how you are doing, whenever you feel up to it.

How anxiety interferes with my life

Fairylights7 — Sat, 07 Nov 2020 00:20:36 GMT

Hey, thanks for replying!
I’m not seeing one as of now but I think will try to once my exams are done because I really really want to lead a confident and independent life without being held down by my anxiety. Thanks for asking 🙂

How anxiety interferes with my life

Emmen — Sat, 07 Nov 2020 00:52:46 GMT

Hello Fairylights7,

Welcome to the forums.

Anxiety does interfere with life in a unpredictable ways, and sometimes they can make you feel like there is no way you can move forward with your goals (e.g. getting a job). It can also make you feel particularly bad during times of stress, like now, when you have your exams. It certainly is exhausting, and I'm glad you've opened up to us.

You should see a psychologist about this as soon as you can. Anxiety is treatable and you have a lot of hope in your future. Starting this process after your exams sounds like a good idea, but do remember to be kind to yourself in the meantime. I wonder if you'd be willing to give mindfulness exercises a go during this exam period? It takes just 2 or 3 minutes each time, but it may help calm you down while you prepare for the exams. Try downloading the app "Smiling Mind". You can also continue using this after to see your psychologist to complement the treatment they offer you.

I see your determination to lead a confident and independent life in the future and I'm really happy that you feel that way. Hold on to that determination and keep trying to keep up with your psychologist's advice and I believe that you will manage it.

- M