topic 'dream-like' state in Anxiety

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 12:14:54 GMT

The past few days I've felt like I've been in a 'dream-like' state, almost as if I'm living in a simulation of my life but not my actual life. I've found it extremely hard to think about or focus on anything other than my mental and physical health and constantly feel not quite all there mentally. I've found that I've been overly careless and just disinterested in most things. Usually talking to other people can help me break out of this state and bring me back to reality, but I can't do anything when I'm alone, so the night is especially daunting for me.

I really want to go to my GP and book a Mental Healthcare Plan and have been planning to for months now, but I never end up going down. I'm not really sure why I'm so hesitant to go, but I really want to. Going to the GP and talking about physical things I'm fine with, it's just the mental stuff I'm too worried to talk about.

I've tried to find similar posts on the forums about this type of issue, but none of them quite fit exactly what I'm experiencing, hence the new post. Sorry for all the posts I've made in the few days, there's just been a lot on my mind.

Any and all help is appreciated.

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Sat, 24 Aug 2019 01:43:13 GMT

Hi Max,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. You may be helping other people by voicing your own concerns.

It can be difficult putting in words how we are feeling if we are in a vulnerable state. There are times when I don't understand my own depression.

I have found it helpful to write down how I am feeling. You may find a list on the internet that has a description of depression or general mental health issues you can relate to.

Write them down and hand the list to your Dr or put a list on your phone.

One time I actually took a pamphlet in with me that was describing depression and told the Dr that is how I was feeling.

It is advisable to book a double appointment for a Mental Health Care plan. They take a while to go through.

Maybe you can write out the steps you need to do to achieve this outcome:

- Book a double appointment with the Dr

- find words that describe how I feel

- remind self of how important keeping the appointment is

- take along a friend if that is possible (they can wait with you)

-have a distraction on your find to help fill in time

-remind yourself you are doing this to help yourself.

-attend the appointment and see where to from there.

Hope this has helped a little! My head can feel a little messed up after an appointment like that, so I sometimes go for a short walk before I head off anywhere else.

Cheers from Dools

'dream-like' state

Ebi — Sat, 24 Aug 2019 04:35:48 GMT

Hi 44Max44,

Further to Dools' comments, you could try looking up derealization and depersonalization to see if those descriptions help you to articulate and understand what you are experiencing.

Thinking of you, Ebi

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Sat, 24 Aug 2019 09:46:23 GMT

Thank you Doolhof and Eli, you helped me out a lot.
I will definitely do all the things you mentioned and will be going in to book my MHCP as soon as possible.
I googled 'derealization' and it sounds pretty similar to what I've been experiencing so I think that maybe what is happening. That's helped put my mind at ease knowing there's a logical explanation to what I'm feeling.

Thank you guys for the help 🙂

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Sat, 24 Aug 2019 22:42:14 GMT

Hi Max,

The more I read information about my conditions the better I understand them.

Another great thing about this forum is realising that other people have similar experiences to us!

Quite often I have periods of time where I feel disconnected. A Psychologist suggested I look at mindfulness so I have tried that.

When I am out walking, I take photos on my mobile phone. It helps me to feel more grounded and connected to what is around me. Also helps to lighten my mood.

All the best with the Drs appointment. The Dr has probably seen people with lists of what is going on for them in the past, so you walking in with your list will probably make the Drs job easier!

All the best, please feel free to check in here any time.

Cheers from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 10:52:05 GMT

I experienced another symptom of de-realization today, and it was pretty weird.
I read up on de-realization a couple of days ago, and one of the symptoms was 'elongated/shortened limbs', and this is what I experienced. I was with some friends, and I was feeling anxious and glanced down at my arm, which I thought looked weirdly long. I then looked at my legs and thought they might be too short.
I then checked all my friends one by one, and sure enough, all of their arms looked slightly longer than usual.

The conversation then switched to something else and I actually got engaged with that conversation and then realized that everyone's limbs including my own looked completely normal again.

I wouldn't say it was scary because I knew exactly what I was experiencing, but it was definitely very concerning especially because problems to do with my eyes and vision are my worst fear.

I've been taking your advice and writing down every symptom I've been experiencing so I can hand that into my GP instead of having to memorize everything. My local GP which is a 2 minute ride from me is open until 10pm every day so I at least feel at ease knowing I can go down there whenever I'd like pretty much.

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 10:56:57 GMT

I've also noticed that in the past week or so I've just been going down the exact same road I went down a few months back when I first had a run in with Health Anxiety.

The first thing that happened was I got a heart palpitation after a big bike ride and my heart was racing, so my mind instantly started freaking out and I just sat down until I calmed myself down at which point I was fine, but I still had that thought in the back of my head saying 'what if it's heart problems?'
annnd it just spiraled from there. Since then, I've worried about having anything from eye problems, stomach problems, throat problems, brain problems and so on... it's exactly what I did a few months ago... it starts off as one semi-traumatic experience which then spirals out of control and before you know it I think I have every health problem known to man...

I'm really looking forward to my chat with the GP, I can't keep going through the same thing over and over.

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 23:27:04 GMT

Hi Max,

My mind runs away with so many thoughts as well. Stress and anxiety cause me to think of one issue, that then turns into another until I have dragged up every issue that has been a problem since the time I was able to remember such things.

My health anxiety issues are quite different from yours. Due to my depression and suicidal thoughts, I often wish my minor complaints were serious and would be fatal. My mind tells me that a headache could turn into a brain tumour, irritable bowel could be cancer, heart burn could mean a heart attack...and my sick mind is disappointed that is not the case!

It is great you have a medical centre in your area you can readily access. It takes me 3 weeks to get in to see my Dr. They do have emergency appointments available now and then.

You mentioned you were able to calm yourself down once you realised you were not having a heart attack and also that your mind adjusted again once the conversation changed resulting in you seeing everyone's arms as being the right length.

Our minds are amazing complex organs. It is great you have been able to have a concept of reality! Hopefully yo can hold onto that and put it in place when your mind starts to take you on a trip.

Do you have an appointment booked with your GP? Hope it is soon so you can get some advice from him or her.

All the best, cheers from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 14:04:48 GMT

Hi Doolhoof, thank you for the advice one again.

The past few days have definitely been a rollercoaster of emotion for me. Every day I seem to come up with a new thing that 'could' be wrong about me. I can't even look at myself without seeing something I think isn't right...
I woke up this morning and went to blow my nose and saw a little bit of blood, which kicked me into high gear first thing in the morning because I instantly assumed that it was cancer because that's one of my top fears... I'm not so much worried now as it hasn't bled at all since and doesn't hurt at all, but it was still really scary nonetheless.

This however finally pushed me to go to my GP and book a MHCP for Monday as well as a normal appointment just to get my nose checked out tomorrow.

It's very unfortunate that you have to wait 3 weeks to get a visit with your GP... I guess I never knew just how good I have it just being able to go down and visit mine at any time.

I really appreciate the replies Dool, you've helped put my mind at ease again and again and I'm very thankful for that. I hope you and I both can get through this A-okay.

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 12:16:54 GMT

Hi Max,

There may be many reason why you blew some blood out of your nose. I am certainly not a medical person but do presume the possibilities could me multiple. Hopefully your Dr will have some answers for you.

I'm wondering, when your mind tells you there is possibly something very wrong with you, can you listen to your thoughts then try and think of some rational reasons?

I'm not saying there may not be anything wrong, it is always best o get yourself checked by the Dr to ensure you are okay.

We do have a hospital in our region, so if you are desperate after 6.00 p.m. you can go there and the staff will call a Dr in as there are no Drs at the hospital usually. There are a few emergency appointments at the medical centre as well.

Hope the appointment on Monday goes well. Also hope you don't stress too much about that appointment before it happens.

I'm going to be away from Friday to Monday visiting family for Father's day. It takes nearly 5 hours to get to my parent's place. I won't have connection to the forum while I am away.

Hope your weekend goes well and you are able to find ways to deal with any health issues and anxiety that come up.

Cheers from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 12:56:05 GMT

Hi Dools,

I went into the GP this morning and the doctor said it was nothing to worry about with my nose, but I had some blood tests done to see if I might have some allergies which will be interesting to see.

I can usually tell exactly when my mind switches from being calm to worrying about stuff, I listen to the voice in my head and see why I'm worrying so much, then I replace those thoughts with rational ones, or at least that's the general idea. I can never stop myself from assuming the worst, but sometimes I can nip it at the bud and stop it before I start getting really anxious.

I'm doing relatively well now, I'm pretty much just waiting for Monday's appointments to get the results from my test and to do the MHCP. I'm just glad I'm finally doing something about my mental health.

Cheers,
Max

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 10:49:42 GMT

I've now gotten myself into the mind-loop that my right eye feels a little bit 'off' and since anything to do with my sight is my worst fear it's been pretty miserable. My eye doesn't even hurt or anything like that, I just kind of feel like it feels a little bit 'off', and sometimes it seems like my vision in my right eye is a little bit worse than my left, which also concerns me.

It's only when I focus on that feeling and 'check' myself that my eye actually feels this way, but I still can't seem to figure out whether it's just a symptom of anxiety or actually there, which just adds to the anxiety 😕

I'm not all too worried about it because I'm going into the GP on Monday and if it still concerns me by then I can tell the doctor, but it's still a little distressing.

If it ends up being nothing, that'll just be another symptom to add to my book of anxiety. I'm pretty sure it's nothing and I hope that's the case.

Has anyone else experienced eye/sight-related symptoms from anxiety? If so please let me know.

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 10:27:46 GMT

An update:

I went in for a Mental Healthcare Plan today, and it was good. My doctor's opinion was that I have 'mixed anxiety and depression', which sounds about right. He's referred me to a psychiatrist and psychologist, which I have to ring up tomorrow. I'm just hoping the waiting list isn't too bad, because it can range from anything from a week to 3 months...

I'm feeling alright now, I'm not super anxious and my mind has eased up with the constant thoughts quite a bit. I still have the feeling in my eye, though, but I'm not super concerned about it now.

Now it's just a waiting game until I can get an appointment, in the meantime I'm going to try my hardest to be productive and actually enjoy myself. Last night I actually managed to watch some Netflix without being constantly interrupted by unwanted thoughts, so that's a start I guess.

cheers

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 06:54:14 GMT

Hi Max,

That is great news about the Mental Health Care Plan. Congratulations on seeing the Dr and getting the ball rolling.

Hopefully you have been able to make an appointment to see both people. You can also ask to be placed on the cancellation list, so you may be considered if someone is unable to attend an appointment.

A psychologist told me to try to accept the negative thoughts as just thoughts. Not always easy. Distractions do help. Sometimes I am able to consider the thoughts in my head and ask myself if I really need to pay them any attention.

Regarding your eye, is it possible for you to have it checked at an eye/glasses place. Usually that is covered by Medicare I believe.

Last weekend I visited my Dad for Father's Day. He lives some distance away so I was away for 3 days. I went for walks each morning and really enjoyed seeing the early dawn.

Hope you find ways to help yourself while you are waiting for your appointments.

All the best from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 11:50:01 GMT

Hi Dools, thanks for the advice about the cancellation list, I'll definitely make sure I ask to be put on it. That early morning walks seem exactly like what I need right now.

It seems like every day I come up with something new to worry about, a couple of days ago it was my eye, yesterday it was stomach, and today I've convinced myself that I have something wrong with my throat. It's not even sore or anything except for the occasional ache (that could just be in my head), I just have a sensation like there's a lump or something in there, and I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm having trouble breathing when I can breathe completely fine. I was so worried that I rode down to the GP at 7pm just so I could get a doctor to look at it to make sure I'm fine, but they couldn't fit me in.

Health Anxiety has by far been the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life and can be debilitating at times.
Even the hardest of tasks seem like nothing compared to dealing with Health Anxiety daily. Every morning I wake up seems like a miracle with all the 'things' I convince myself I have.

I'm just going to try my best to keep myself calm until my next GP visit when I get the blood test results back, and if by then I'm still worried about anything, I can tell the doctor.

Thanks for the reply

All the best,
Max

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44Max44 — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 09:43:36 GMT

So, it turns out it wasn't all in my head (well, I guess it is technically) as the doctor said I have tonsillitis and conjunctivitis, yay. I have to go on two sets of antibiotics. In some sick sort of way I'm kind of glad these feelings weren't just in my head and had logical explanations. This is the first time I've been sick with pretty much anything in years, and I hope it stays that way.

Mental health-wise, I had Headspace call me up today and say they can't fit me in for at least 2 months, so now I have to go into the GP for plan B, which I assume will just be me getting referred to somewhere else.

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:53:31 GMT

Hi Max,

I hope the antibiotics clear up the infections. It must be difficult for you when your mind has these anxieties about your health and you don't really know what is a genuine issue. Good thing you can get into your Dr quickly to get these issues sorted.

Unfortunately it can take a while to get in to see someone for mental health assistance. While you are waiting for help, could you use the support phone lines like at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Life Line? I have used both services and found them to be helpful.

Depending on your area, some Churches and other organisations have counsellors at a low cost who may be able to assist you. You do not have to be of any faith to use the Church supports.

Have you heard of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? This is a kind of formula for helping yourself deal with issues. There are steps to follow. You write down and issue and then basically pull it apart and try to find solutions.

I don't recall if I have suggested you look at the Beyond Blue website and read the information there on anxiety.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? You may be feeling a bit tired with your infections, so do you have ideas on how to fill in your time? Too much time on my hands makes my mind wander tot he negative sometimes!

Having some ideas on activities to do helps with that, even if it is reading for an hour for me.

Cheers to you from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 05:11:57 GMT

Hi Dools, thanks again for the reply.

I actually live right next to a church, so if they do have counselling that would be perfect for me. I'll have to do some research and see what I'd have to do to get some counselling if they have it.

I have heard of CBT, and I practiced it a little bit a while back, but never really got heavily into it. I'll have to read up on that too and start doing it more often.

The most difficult part of all of this is not knowing what I'm actually feeling, and what's just a symptom of anxiety. I put my throat and eyes feeling 'off' as just another symptom of anxiety, and even posted about them on here, but the whole time it was actually a real issue and not just imagined.
I did notice that with all my anxiety symptoms, they all go away when I'm not feeling anxious, but both my throat and eye problems never went away even when not feeling anxious, so that should have been a giveaway that it wasn't just in my head.
However, this is the first time one of the things I was anxious about actually ended up being something, so I'm not overly worried.

As for plans for the weekend, I have nothing. I was pretty much planning on just living on the couch and watching Netflix while these infections get treated, but if I have the energy I'll try to do something productive. If nothing else, I can do some research on CBT and that kind of stuff.

Thanks again,
Cheers

'dream-like' state

Doolhof — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 06:57:16 GMT

Hi Max,

Thanks also for your reply. There is another strategy that might be beneficial and maybe easier to use than CBT. This is called Structured Problem Solving. The style I was shown has different steps:

- Write down the problem that is causing you to feel anxious

- Think about your options for dealing with this problem (in this step, I like to write down all kinds of helpful, weird, funny, strange and negative thoughts that pop up. A bit of humour helps deal with the process.)

- Consider the advantages and disadvantages to all or some of your ideas.

- Identify the best options

- Consider how you may be able to implement these options

Controlled breathing and relaxing can certainly help as well.

Some time on the couch watching Netflix sounds like a plan! It will be beneficial to rest and allow your body to heal.

You could also Google your area to see if there are any counsellors around. Some Churches these days have websites that tell you what they have available.

I think our weather is going to be rather wintery here, lovely! I might enjoy doing a bit of arts and crafts and be creative.

Cheers to you from Dools

'dream-like' state

44Max44 — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 12:37:56 GMT

I've taken your advice and have started writing a 'Anxiety Journal' on my phone. Now, whenever I feel anxious about something I'll have it logged on my phone so I can go back and reference it whenever I like.
I definitely think this will become a regular thing for me and will come back with whatever progress I make.

Cheers