topic Separation Anxiety? in Anxiety

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Mon, 10 Jun 2019 04:48:28 GMT

Hi everyone,

This is my first post and I’m very new to all this so bear with me.

I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 6 months and I’m at my wits end. I have never ever felt like this before. I have seen my GP about this.
I know what has triggered it and I’m not coping very well at all.

After living in the one town for over 10 years (we have moved a lot with my husbands work around the state) with my husband and two children. We have now gone through some BIG changes in our family and living situation.
Both the kids have moved out of home to different towns and my husband and I have also moved to a new town as empty nesters.
One child now lives 8 hours away and the other 4.5 hours.
The reason for our move was my husband resigned from a job that he was in for a very long time as he wasn’t happy there anymore and was very stressed. He was offered a new job with another company in another town that he loves. I left a job that I had been in for 10 years and enjoyed.
We are now living in our own home for the first time in our 28 years of marriage which I was so looking forward to.
We weighed up all the pros and cons about this move and felt it was the right thing for us and our future.
But things haven’t gone as well as I had hoped with all the changes. (For me anyway)
My husband is doing fine and he knows that I am struggling and has been very supportive.
I’ve got friends here and I got another job but I’m not enjoying it and want to leave but it’s really hard to find work in the town so I feel I’m stuck there for the time being.
We try and see the kids as much as possible as I miss them desperately.
We see friends often and keep ourselves busy getting our house to how we want it.
I’ve also just had a major operation which I needed weeks off work.
All this tied together has put me in the place I’m in now.
I have the same thoughts going around in my head over and over, what if?? What if we didn’t make these changes?? My heart feels heavy and broken, I’m not sleeping well so I’m tired, I’ve lost a lot of weight as I’ve lost my appetite, I cry a lot, I zone out and just have this numb feeling through my body. I feel lonely and lost. It takes effort to get up and go for the day. I don’t have much energy to do anything but I make myself push through the day.
Is this separation anxiety? Will it pass eventually? Has anyone else experienced these feelings after such changers? TIA.

Separation Anxiety?

Jackson85 — Mon, 10 Jun 2019 05:58:48 GMT

Hi H@ppyf33t,

Thanks for posting your story, that sounds really difficult with everything changing at once, and it's totally normal to be shaken up by such major shifts in your life. You mentioned that you have moved a lot around because of your husband's job, have you ever felt this way after a move before? Sometimes when we look back we can forget the hard parts, and only remember the good times, so then when it gets hard again we feel like it's unprecedented!

I think you're doing great, it would be so difficult having everything change at once, and having your children so far away; I can understand that it must be hard not seeing them that often. Have you thought about talking to someone about how down you're feeling? Some of the ways you describe how you feel near the end of your post are similar to how people feel when they're suffering from depression. Have you thought about perhaps going to see a psychologist to talk through this stuff? I know when I've had problems in the past with depression or anxiety, it's been so helpful to have a caring ear to open up to, and they have always helped me find exactly what I need to take the next steps.

It's great to hear that your husband is supportive, and that you guys are in your own home! I know that things are a bit hard right now, but as you move through this phase you'll be able to start nesting and make that place your own 🙂

Feel free to keep the chat going,

Jackson85

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Mon, 10 Jun 2019 06:25:35 GMT

Thank you for your reply Jackson85 and for your positive comments.

I have never felt like this any of our other moves. Even when we we’re first married with no kids and I moved out of home for the first time and to a town some 1400km away. Yes I was a little home sick but I seemed to have coped well. But the biggest impact on this move is that the kids didn’t come with us this time.

I will go talk to a psychologist. Especially if this is depression. I just wanted to see if what I was feeling is normal or just a phase that would pass. But I do feel it’s going on to long.

Thanks again.

Separation Anxiety?

Jackson85 — Tue, 11 Jun 2019 00:50:34 GMT

Hi H@ppyf33t,

It is absolutely normal, and it sounds really difficult. The important thing is that you're taking steps, like posting here, to get your happiness back. I think you're doing great and that talking to someone will be really beneficial. Best of luck, I'll be thinking of you 🙂

Jackson85

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Wed, 12 Jun 2019 08:47:18 GMT

Hi, so today I’ve been to see my GP to get a referral to see a phycologist.

She gave me the K10 test to bring home and complete. I will go back tomorrow and see her again and have an extended appointment so she assess me and put me on a mental health care plan and point me in the right direction.

See how we go from here.

Separation Anxiety?

Jackson85 — Thu, 13 Jun 2019 20:35:27 GMT

Hey H@@pyf33t,

Nice job! I hope you're feeling a bit more optimistic about it all, but anytime you are feeling a bit unsure (or anytime at all in fact), feel free to post again, we will be here to support you 🙂

Hang in there,

Jackson85

Separation Anxiety?

White_Rose — Thu, 13 Jun 2019 21:08:50 GMT

Dear Tia

Hello and welcome. First posts are often a bit nerve wracking but you have now made three. Congratulations.

In a list of stressful activities moving house is right up there. Add to that your children have moved out of home and you have left a job you enjoyed all to go to place you know little about and working in a job that you do not enjoy and I think you were an accident waiting to happen. Not surprising you feel anxious and quite probably a little depressed.

It's a smart move to chat to someone who can help you manage this huge change in your life. The K10 is not a diagnostic tool but it certainly gives an indication of where you are. I think your GP is great by starting with this. He/she may offer you medication, I don't know, but it may be an idea to think about this. Sometimes it's helpful and at other times it doesn't do much. See what the GP thinks.

Please come back and tell us how you are going.

Mary

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 01:33:17 GMT

Thank you for your reply Mary,

yes I most definitely feel I have crashed and my wounds just won’t heal.

I have been back to my GP and my K10 test was in the high bracket. She has suggested medications but I really want to see how I go talking with someone first. She gave me the referral I needed to make an appointment to see a psychologist. I went to their office straight away. Only to find out I’ll have to wait 4-6 weeks before I’ll be able to see them.

This just put me on a real low and I come home and had a massive meltdown. I try to carry on my day as normal but it all just becomes to much.

Thanks again.

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Sat, 15 Jun 2019 04:09:51 GMT

Hi again,

just a quick update. I received a phone call yesterday and have now got an appointment to see a psychologist on Tuesday. Feeling a little better about sorting all this out. Small steps forward. 😌

Separation Anxiety?

Jackson85 — Mon, 17 Jun 2019 03:51:24 GMT

That's great 🙂

It sounds like you're moving in the right direction, good on you!

Jackson85

Separation Anxiety?

White_Rose — Mon, 17 Jun 2019 06:32:35 GMT

Good stuff. I'm glad you have an early appointment. I hope it all goes well.

Mary

Separation Anxiety?

Nicole73 — Mon, 24 Jun 2019 06:22:19 GMT

Hi H@ppyf33t,

I found your post...thanks for directing me. Wow, our situations sound very similar. Although I have essentially moved back to the place I grew up in, everything feels foreign (if that makes sense). I was living for 11 years in my last place. As you know from my forum post, I abruptly left the place of employment, so I raise my hat for you sticking it out for so long. The area I am in is very hard to get jobs too and that was part of my reason for feeling guilty for leaving my job, but deep down I'm glad I did (even though I'm still very raw and emotional about leaving and now unemployed...lol), but at least I can concentrate now on finding something that is more suited (hopefully) and make me happier. It's amazing how something that sounds so straight forward and easy can actually be so complex and turn our lives into turmoil. But...every day is a new day, hey. Fingers (and toes) crossed that slowly everything decides to uncoil itself and puts us both back on the road to recovery.

Separation Anxiety?

Hppyf33t — Mon, 24 Jun 2019 08:45:22 GMT

Hi Nicole73,

Thank you for your kind words. To be able to write this and know that someone else knows exactly what I’m feeling and know that adjustment disorder is a real thing is amazing.

I didn’t mention in my post here that I had previously lived where we are now for 6 years. We absolutely loved it. The plan was to stay. We built our first home that we never got to live in as my husband and I decided to accept a transfer to further his career to where we have just moved from. We kept the house and leased it out, in the hope we’d be back one day. And here we are. But everything is different. No kids, no family at all near by. We still have close friends here, the house is great. But I’m missing my family and old job desperately. It’s such a sense of loss.

I do think you should go talk to someone sooner rather than later like I did. I just thought it would go away. The anxiety has given me more bad days than good. I have another therapist appointment tomorrow and next week. I’ve never done anything like it before but I’m at a stage I think I’d try anything to knock this thing on the head. I’m thinking of trying acupuncture just to try and calm me down.