Workplace issues - is this what anxiety is?

jax_in_my_heart — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 10:58:34 GMT

I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is typical of anxiety. I’d love some feedback from people experienced with this.

About four months ago, I left a job I had been in for 18 months with a small business. They had a team of about eight people. At first everything was great, but looking back I can see my self-confidence and faith in my abilities was gradually eroded over the course of that 18 months. Prior to this, I was a very confident person. By the time I left there, I walked on eggshells, with a pair of bosses that played mind games every single day. I will NEVER work for a small family business again after this experience.

I enjoy my current job very much, but I feel the hangover from my previous one. If the boss is going through reports trying to find a discrepancy, I’m silently panicking and completely freaking out that it’s my fault and they’ll be so angry. I’m worried that they’ll sack me and I won’t be able to pay my mortgage. I over-explain myself about details that doesn’t actually interest anyone. I’m worried that I’m too loud, too over-the-top and no-one likes me. I genuinely have no idea how well I’m performing and I’m too intimidated to ask. I get flustered when I feel nervous or overwhelmed, and I make little mistakes as a result, which just makes it worse again.

This really only comes out at work, I’m fine everywhere else. I have bipolar 2 disorder, which I manage reasonably well (I would like to think so anyway). I don’t share anything about this condition or how I currently feel with my work colleagues.

I suppose I want to know if this is anxiety? If so, what are other people’s stories are and how did you manage it?

Workplace issues - is this what anxiety is?

romantic_thi3f — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 22:29:36 GMT

Hi jax_in_my_heart,

Thanks for your post and sharing what's been happening with you at work. It sounds like you're having a really rough time and honestly it sounds very exhausting!

From your post I absolutely think that this is anxiety talking. One of the common thinking traps that we all get into is called catastrophizing (aka thinking and believing the worst case scenario). I'm saying this because it is so much more likely that if there is a discrepancy, your boss will call you out on it. I can't think of any sort of discrepancy in a report that might be an immediate fireable offence, to the point where you couldn't even find another job again.

I hope that this makes sense to you! Being able to recognise unhelpful thoughts and thinking traps (even mind-reading and self-blame) can be really helpful in getting on top of your anxiety and getting your confidence back.

topic Workplace issues - is this what anxiety is? in Anxiety

Workplace issues - is this what anxiety is?

Workplace issues - is this what anxiety is?