topic Dealing With my Dad in Anxiety

Dealing With my Dad

Hagshollow — Fri, 19 Jul 2019 09:59:49 GMT

I have a Mental Health history and was admitted to hospital in 2013 and was diagnosed with Autism. I am currently on the DSP and don't work but study casual. I am on the NDIS and am receiving treatment for Mental Health issues and Autism. About a year ago while on a Helping Minds Retreat holiday my Dad told me "he wished i was dead" I told my mum about it but she refuses to admit that it happened and when i mention it to my dad he says that he didn't say it. What do i do just forget it and move on but i can't afford to live anywhere else im on the housing list but will be a long time before i can get anything so getting away is not an option if i want a roof over my head. I can't bear the thought of suicide but can't stop worrying about the future. I'm worried i'm going to be homeless when my parents eventually die. I've started studying but the requirements for getting a job are very complicated and not as simple as to the training get a job. You have to have experience and where am i to get that where i live they don't take volunteers so i'm stuck

Dealing With my Dad

Ola — Sat, 20 Jul 2019 01:17:56 GMT

Hi Hagshollow!

Thanks so much for posting, it can take a lot of strength to share how you're feeling with others. Part of the reason I reply on this forum is due to people taking the time to listen to me in the past and the influence it had on me.

I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad said that to you, that cuts pretty deep. And it's hard to move past. I'm not making any excuses for him, however sometimes hurt people hurt people. If it was a once off and not an ongoing behaviour of his perhaps something was going on with him at the time. Again, I'm not making excuses for his behaviour, it was a horrid thing to say to you, but in general is he a supportive person?

I'll always remember when my Dad ripped me a new one once, telling me what a loser and a disappointment I was to him. That was twenty years ago and it still brings up strong feelings, even after we mended our relationship. I see now that he was struggling himself at the time.

It may not seem so at the moment but you actually sound like you're in a pretty good place and have a lot to look forward to. I'm glad to hear that you're studying part time and are looking forward to moving in the future. 🙂 Life's not always easy, but you'll get there one step at a time. Successful people aren't successful because they don't get knocked down, they're successful because they get back up one more time.

And you my friend are capable.

I understand that Autism is quite a general term for a range of possible issue, but I wanted to share something with you. My best friend has Autism, he also has chronic anxiety and lived with heavy medication for years. He also have five degrees under his belt and recently moved overseas for his perfect job. None of this was easy for him. I was there for the struggle, the tears and the days that he couldn't leave the house.

But he got up everyday and started again. And you can do the same.

I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like you have a lot to look forward to. We can't choose how other people behave or treat us, but we can absolutely choose how we feel about it.

In the years to come you'll probably realise how much time we waste feeling wounded or holding grudges, and how little that ads to our overall experience.

I hope you thrive in the coming year. 🙂 All the best.

Dealing With my Dad

Hagshollow — Sun, 21 Jul 2019 09:41:57 GMT

My Dad is generally supportive. Enrolling in TAFE is such a hassle it really needs to be much easier.