topic Online social groups are my nightmare now in Anxiety

Online social groups are my nightmare now

Al_KB — Sun, 03 May 2020 02:27:25 GMT

I'm also scared to post this. But I think maybe this is safe?

So first the easier part. I MISS my old life. I see friends doing things and I'm too sick to do stuff too.

And then it's all coronavirus all the time and people dying and going broke and arguing about assorted government failures that affect their lives. I have actual real life friends who are teachers and disability home carers who can't get any PPE; and friends of friends are nurses who are being attacked for wearing their uniforms in public, and this is horrifying to read about.

The other thing is, I can't bear the thought of being disagreed with harshly. If I agree with something a right wing person says, some lefty friend comes down and say so&so is a racist/sexist/terf/nazi, and therefore by association so must I be! Everything is getting so polarised. And I can't stop it. Yeah, clearly, it's a logical fallacy that they are making. I am a science and logic minded person and even if Adolf Hitler himself thought that 2+2=4, it doesn't make it wrong. But I can't debate calmly; I panic and freeze and get chest tightness and palpitations and have to run away and hide (games, books, meds).

It's clearly true logically that it's not my job to make the world over into a rational place where people can discuss things without yelling insults at each other. But I feel it's all my fault and I should just explain better. I have a terrible case of "someone is wrong on the internet". Why can't people be kind to each other? Why can't I MAKE EVERYBODY be kind to each other?

I need to stop. I need to feel OK about stopping. I need the world to be a terrible place without it being all my fault. How?!!

Online social groups are my nightmare now

Sophie_M — Sun, 03 May 2020 03:03:54 GMT

Hi Al_KB,

Thanks for reaching out today even though you were scared to do so. We understand this can require some courage, and we're grateful that you chose to take this step. We're so sorry to hear how you're feeling at the moment. It's tough when you feel like you can't express your opinion without being met with harsh reception. We also empathise with how difficult it is to be away from our friends and changing the way we socialise for this time. We hope you will find this to be a safe and supportive space.

If you think it might be of use to you, we'd suggest you go to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time.

Many people within the community will be able to relate to these feelings you're having. Hopefully a few of them pop by with some kind words or maybe some wisdom. If you would like to post further, let us know more about what's on your mind and how we can help you get through this difficult time.

Online social groups are my nightmare now

smallwolf — Sun, 03 May 2020 03:36:56 GMT

hi Al_KB and welcome to beyond blue.

This is a safe place where you should not feel like you are being judged by others.

I think the issue you refer to has been made more obvious by the fact that everybody has had to stay indoors. I was told that if you could not it the person the don't say it at all - or something like that. Lots of people might also think that everyone else needs to know their opinion on a certain topic.

On a slightly different tact there is also a lack of what could seen as netiquette - in online meetings people hogging the channel with their voice. In a few meetings I have been in, I can physically raise my hand, use a raise hand gesture in Zoom and still get no request to speak. I was taught it was rude to speak over someone else.

Restrictions I believe are starting to ease now. I am not sure whether we will get back to our old lives or whether a new normal will develop.

People being kind to each other would be nice. The internet reflects society to a large degree. That people are unkind to each other is not new and has been around since time began (?). There was a time when people might only know what was happening in their own backyard. Now... something happens somewhere else in the world and you can know about it 5 minutes later.

I am not happy with zoom meetings myself.

Having said, I can see how this would be upsetting for you. It takes courage to open yourself and write what you feel. I hope you can come back and tell me more of your story.

Tim

Online social groups are my nightmare now

romantic_thi3f — Mon, 04 May 2020 00:02:36 GMT

Hi Al_KB,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for deciding to join us. I hope that it does feel safe for you to post here- you are anonymous here with your username but please let us know if there's something we can do to help you feel safer on these forums.

I too am sorry that you're having such a difficult time. Both Tim and Sophie_M have offered some great support and looking at the Coronavirus Support Service is a good idea too.

While I was reading your post I was thinking that it seems like you have all this responsibility on your shoulders - as if you have to make things right, or if things are wrong with the world - it's up to you to fix it and make it right and say exactly the right thing. Does this resonate with you, the idea of responsibility? Where do you think it comes from?

I hope that you'll find some support in the forums here. While this is still very much an online social group, it's very heavily moderated unlike other platforms - so there will be no insults here.