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Snelly — Thu, 02 Jan 2020 04:08:17 GMT

Happy new year to everyone, but I wish I felt better about the year to come.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a few years. The first 2 years of retirenent were wonderful, but I'm feeling really lost now and have become low in mood and disinterested.

This started when I first got very anxious in January 2016. I thought it was because of upcoming dental work and it would disappear after that ordeal was over.

However, it didn't and I had terrible panic attacks and unexplained pain. I tried every type of treatment for the pain and every blood test for the lethargy. Finally, after 6 months of numerous emergency visits , I was found to have clots in both lungs and small nodules. I spent 3 scary weeks in 2 hospitals having cancer tests. This was my first time in hospital (at 63) so I was given anti anxiety medication. I continued this when discharged for a few weeks and was great for 12 months, travelling and enjoying life.

About 12 months later, the anxiety attacks came back (no idea why). Doctor suggested antidepressants and psych . Psych was great but I was too scared to take more than small doses of the antidepressant. The anxiety eased after about 6 months.

18 months later, it's back with a vengeance. 2 or 3 panic attacks a day and the anti- anxiety doesn't really help much. Once again, I have the antidepressants, but too scared to take them. I'm scared of everything - going to bed, that I have a illness, even driving.

I feel lost in a life of fear, tension, pain. What to do? How to get my life back?

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blondguy — Fri, 03 Jan 2020 13:28:06 GMT

Hi Snelly

I apologise for you not having a response until now. We are usually pretty quick at getting back to new threads. I just turned 60 in late December and roughly your age Snelly

I understand where you are coming from as I used to have chronic anxiety that started in 1983 when I was 23..and its a horrible place to be in Snelly. I am sorry for the anguish you went through in hospital with your clots and small nodules in your lungs. I would have been beside myself

Like yourself I was very firm that I only wanted a small dosage of an antidepressant when I eventually agreed to taking them in 1996 when I was 36....They worked so well I realised I actually wasted years of my life by refusing my GP's prescription

Please dont be scared to take them as I was.....I have been on an SSRI....low dose for 23 years......they gave me my life back Snelly.....my career..my personal life..my physical well being....and helped me with my awful driving anxiety I used to have....I do understand what you are going through

Being scared of everything is okay....Its part of this awful anxiety condition....Yet..its like taking meds for a chronic physical illness.....Anxiety is no different as it partially chemically based Snelly which makes it a physical illness too!

I really hope you can continue to be a part of the Beyond Blue forums Snelly.....Your life experience is Gold!

Any questions are always welcome too.....Please ask away...The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

my kind thoughts......and all the best for the New Year too!

Paul

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