https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-friend-has-problems-and-idk-how-to-help-her/m-p/443386#M34434 My closest friend has depression and anxiety, for years I've given her support and advice in the best way I know but recently things have been bad for her and shes crying almost every time she calls. I can only give the same advice every time, I feel like I'm useless and idk what else to tell her, it stresses me out just thinking about her. I feel like I can't talk to her the same as I use to. Wed, 01 May 2019 10:59:31 GMT B_Kojo 2019-05-01T10:59:31Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-friend-has-problems-and-idk-how-to-help-her/m-p/443386#M34434 My closest friend has depression and anxiety, for years I've given her support and advice in the best way I know but recently things have been bad for her and shes crying almost every time she calls. I can only give the same advice every time, I feel like I'm useless and idk what else to tell her, it stresses me out just thinking about her. I feel like I can't talk to her the same as I use to. Wed, 01 May 2019 10:59:31 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-friend-has-problems-and-idk-how-to-help-her/m-p/443386#M34434 B_Kojo 2019-05-01T10:59:31Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-friend-has-problems-and-idk-how-to-help-her/m-p/443387#M34435 <P>Hi, welcome </P> <P>I believe there is a method that works better than how you are going about helping your friend.</P> <P>Instead of telling your friend what to do etc...ask questions.</P> <P>People with depression (and I'm one) need help and attention from family and friends but not in a childish way- more needing your focus, your time etc.</P> <P>Questions like this-</P> <P>"Do you think it would be a good idea to try something spontaineous to get your mind off your mood?"</P> <P>"Im going to the cinema this afternoon, do you want to come"?</P> <P>"Do you feel better than yesterday "?</P> <P>That is examples of questions you can ask then after her reply follow it up with positive vibes eg</P> <P>"Do you feel better than yesterday "?</P> <P>She says "yes a little bit"</P> <P>"Great, well thats an improvement, I'm so happy you feel better. Let me know when you feel like a coffee at our favourite cafe, would you like that"</P> <P>Notice how you went from happy response (encouragement) to a suggestion and ending with another question?</P> <P>All that technique is doing is involving yourself more by encouraging her more.</P> <P>I hope that helps because you are a passionate friend and you are valued.</P> <P>TonyWK </P> Wed, 01 May 2019 11:50:42 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-friend-has-problems-and-idk-how-to-help-her/m-p/443387#M34435 white knight 2019-05-01T11:50:42Z