topic Anxiety response from son when in trouble at school in Anxiety

Anxiety response from son when in trouble at school

Mum_of_anxious_son — Sat, 22 Jun 2019 19:56:17 GMT

Hi,

My 11 year old son is typically a “good kid” at home and at school - active in a range of sports, achieving well academically and generally easy to get along with. He has just had his third incident at school this year and has now been suspended for two days.

background:

he is a sport house captain at his school, had to write and application and give a speech in front of peers and get voted in. This was a big deal for him as he gets anxious being the centre of attention. He is very proud of being a house captain.
he can be quick to react when frustrated
incident 1 at school - playground dispute over cricket rules, physical scuffle amongst a group of boys, warned that he could lose his house captain badge.
incident 2 at school - (7 weeks after first incident) bullied by another student about his size (he is small). Punched another student in the arm when she took one of his belongings and refused to return it. He had a complete meltdown and refused to go to the office (was panicked about having his house badge taken away). Ended up on in school suspension for 2 days, missed out on attending swimming carnival.
incident 3 at school - (12 weeks after incident 2) has missed 3 days of school due to state level sports carnival. He has been worried about the amount of work and assessment he has to catch up on after being away. Is tired and a bit run down (end of term). Spoke to his teacher Tuesday morning to let her know he was feeling on edge (we have had a number of meetings with her around his anxieties). Spoke to teacher again on Friday morning - more specific about his concerns with assessment tasks. During the day, he called his teacher an idiot when he felt that she wasn’t helping him. Deputy called to room, son apologised to his teacher. Returned to class and kept working (had been kept in both breaks to catch up on work). During second break deputy returned to say son needed to go and work in the office for the afternoon, son refuses to go and goes into meltdown again. Is now suspended for 2 days for not following deputy’s instructions. When I asked why didn’t he just go, he said he thought he would lose his house badge.

I am worried about his response when asked to go to the office - it seems like he goes in to “flight, fight or freeze” mode as he says he can’t think, his feelings just take over. I’m looking for stategies to support him when he gets into trouble so that it doesn’t blow up into something bigger than it should be.

Anxiety response from son when in trouble at school

Lonelydan — Sun, 23 Jun 2019 03:52:54 GMT

Hi Mum,,oas. This is a tough one to answer. His acting out has anger issues. Doesn’t understand Action and its consequences. If he was a adult acting this way he’d probably be in a jail cell. I’m thinking there’s good chance his gonna lose this captains badge thing. There’s something much deeper going on here. What I don’t know, is he like his father. I think it’s time to seek professional help. This behaviour cannot continue into adult hood where you cannot speak to the teacher you can only hire a lawyer it’s important to point out his behaviour, this happened because of your behaviour. Hope this helps a little bit. Dan...

Anxiety response from son when in trouble at school

Este — Tue, 02 Jul 2019 11:46:05 GMT

Your son, like mine, probably has too many things going on, is overstressed and anxious, exacerbated by conflict with peers. My son, kind, placid and timid, was bullied by his friends for years in secondary school without accepting that their teasing, hurtful remarks, etc could be bullying. He had a meltdown, made extreme verbal responses, and, although not suspended, was excluded from school events and denied entry in school without a teacher escort and only for certain days related to HSC, while being charged full private school fees. Meanwhile the bullying was not investigated, no due process,etc.we’re all traumatised. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s, but school persisted in discriminatory measures. Will sue.