topic Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21 in Anxiety

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

harrypotterntheturtle — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 20:25:43 GMT

Hi there,

Something I've struggled with for the past year is homesickness. I'm nearly 21 and met my boyfriend nearly a year and a half ago, and since then I've pretty much moved 3 hours away to be with him (by pretty much- I mean I still travel home if not every weekend, every second weekend). When I'm away, I miss my family and the location I live in so incredibly much. I often cry when I leave and am upset until I'm back in routine at my boyfriends house, where I work 2 days a week and study fulltime at uni (I have 1 class on campus and 3 online). I have 3 small dogs at home that I grew up with that are mine that I struggle leaving as well. I can't figure out if this is homesickness or separation anxiety. When I was younger I couldn't go on school camps or sleep over at my friend's house because I refused to leave my mum. In high school, I grew out of this, but now that I'm away from home I can't help but feel like my homesickness is actually anxiety? I'm not sure what I'm hoping to gain out of this if I am honest. Any tips or guidance or anything will be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

PamelaR — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 23:15:15 GMT

Hi harrypotterntheturtle and welcome to our community

It's great you've found your way to our forums. My first thoughts are - have you been to see your doctor to find out if you do have anxiety? That might be a good place to start do you think?

There are a few posts and threads in our forums about separation anxiety, homesickness. Feel free to have a browse and to join any discussions you think may help.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

gloria10 — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 10:50:00 GMT

Hi,

It sounds like you have quite a bit going on at the moment and I'm sorry its a difficult time for you.

It could be worthwhile seeing a counsellor, is there one at Uni? Sometimes they have services there.

Also, do you speak with your family regularly or Skype them? That may help feel that they are a bit closer.

I hope things improve soon for you 🙂

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

harrypotterntheturtle — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 22:38:50 GMT

Thanks Pamela. No, I haven't been to a doctor about this. Without going into it, it's just scary. I feel that if I see a doctor about it, then this whole thing becomes a "thing" and it is real. By keeping it to myself I am able to feel like I am in control and that it's my job to get myself out of feeling like this. I understand that this would sound ridiculous. My mum is my rock, and I hers. If I spoke to her about it then I would get the support I need, but again, then it becomes "real" and I'd worry her sick too.

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

harrypotterntheturtle — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 22:47:46 GMT

Thanks Gloria, I appreciate it a lot. My uni does have a lot of resources and services available to students, yes. As said in my reply above, I'm just afraid of this becoming "real". At the moment, it's just me dealing silently with this. I have dealt with this for a long time, and so at this point, I feel like I can just keep dealing with it alone even if it hurts me. I'd worry the bejeezuz out of my mum and Gran. I text my mum every day, my dad every few days and I speak to my brothers nearly every day over social media. They often send me photos of my dogs when I'm away too. It's funny. My partner and I are dogsitting at the moment while a friend is away with work, and he is a gorgeous dog but I just struggle playing with him when I'm sad because I feel so guilty being away from my own dogs. This further makes me think that something is happening in my mind that only real help can fix. I can't call my family, hearing their voices when I'm away makes me cry. I feel like I'm in a rut here. I'm here asking for guidance etc but at the same time, I'm not very willing to help myself and I feel like I'm just going in circles. Thanks so much for listening. Typing how I feel does help a small amount. And apologies for my reply being so late. I only find myself logging onto my account here when I wake up feeling sad. Today is one of those days.

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

Guppy — Tue, 19 Mar 2019 11:19:06 GMT

hey turtle

you're not alone with how you feel. I moved from NSW to QLD in 2017 for university and it was honestly an emotional rollercoaster for me. every single time I called my family I cried afterwards, whenever I went home to see them I couldnt bear to leave. It gets easier, moving away takes time to adjust. only after two years of experiencing this has it only STARTED to settle down however everyone is different. everyone takes their own time to adjust. i still miss my family and my two dogs every day (I have a pug too, assuming the one in the picture is yours :P). some tips that worked for me was calling my family once a week to keep in touch and focusing on the life ahead of me, to be excited for what the future holds after university (something your family is excited for too!).

Guppy

Homesick or Separation Anxiety at 21

harrypotterntheturtle — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 22:44:42 GMT

Guppy, thanks so much for your reply, it made me feel a lot better to hear from someone who has experienced what I'm feeling. Yes, the pug is mine! Can only hope it get's better. 🙂