topic Venting in Anxiety

Venting

Horse_ — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 11:42:16 GMT

Hello.

I’ve been dealing with mental health issues since I was a child. Since 2018 I thought I was finally free of the most life destroying issues until this year where everything has gone downhill. The psychologist I saw for most of this year thinks I have PTSD but I also have been having big problems with dissociation. I am going to see a psychiatrist at some point but, you know, waitlists. When I’m not at work pretty much all I do is lie in my bed. I go for short walks around the block to smoke, which makes my GP happy (aside from the smoking) because he thinks I’m depressed and the exercise will make “the nice brain chemicals” but I can’t be bothered to explain to him that 95% of the time the walks are exhausting and distressing because he won’t understand. I am exhausted all the time and these last few months I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to be around any people at all including my co-workers. I’m desperately clinging to my job because it’s the only thing I have, without my job it’s all over. I feel I’m on the edge of my life completely coming apart. All the healthy coping mechanisms I’ve ever developed have been 0% effective this year. Mental illness has stolen so much of my life.

Venting

Petal22 — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 13:17:24 GMT

Hi Horse s

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry you have been feeling this way I understand.

I understand the exhaustion and feeling of distress, I also experienced this feeling while I was going through severe anxiety OCD…….

I have now recovered from this condition thanks to the professional help I received.

I understand that you don’t want to explain to your gp how you are really feeling but I think if you could your gp could get a clearer picture of what you are experiencing.

Im sorry you have a long wait list to see a psychiatrist.

Your not alone

Im here to chat

Venting

geoff — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 13:54:32 GMT

Hello Horse_s, and a warm welcome to the site.

We are told by the doctors that we will benefit from exercising but for some of us this is impossible because we don't have the energy or desire to even walk to the letterbox, so I was in exactly the same position as you and trying to explain yourself to them it doesn't rationalise with them.

Being in a job when you feel like this all you want is to be left alone, wrap yourself up in a cocoon so no one will need to talk to you, but if they do all we hope is that the conversation is over in a couple of minutes.

At first, we can easily pretend that there's nothing wrong, but over time this becomes exhausting, but what we have to realise is that 'the coping mechanisms' we may have used before have been for other situations and not so much helpful for how you are now feeling.

Don't forget them because one day they will be helpful, but now ring around and try and find a psychiatrist that may have a cancellation or just moved to the area.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

Venting

Elly_ — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 23:21:23 GMT

Thanks Geoff. This is horse btw, I couldn't get back into my account lol

Venting

Elly_ — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 23:23:13 GMT

Thank you Petal, I'm glad you've recovered now (from horse)

Venting

Mum Chris — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 23:54:59 GMT

Hi Elly

Having work that you must go to or do is probably helping you. It’s why you drag yourself out of bed. I’m struggling too with motivation and mental health but I have to work so I do. I’m trying to work better than I have been and trying to excel so I can boost my self esteem. When I’m at work I’m pretending nothings wrong and I’m great. Total lie but I don’t need to drag my baggage everywhere I can check it at the door. More than once I’ve cried all the way to work and all the way home but at work I’m working give my tear ducts a break. Exercise is a really great way to boost helpful hormones and I get you about it being a struggle. I joined a very small gym and try to get there once a week and if I go more then that’s a bonus. I can’t walk well so I need a different form of exercise. You are going for a walk so that’s amazing. I’m a researcher at heart and the psychiatrists are all about physical therapy now and even prescribe instead of medication. Lots of journal papers and lectures and there’s lots of new and old approaches combined that are really helping.
But I do struggle to get out of bed and do anything. I developed a hatred of my kitchen and I used to love to cook now I’ll Uber eat. I can’t face a dish or a saucepan it’s overwhelming to me. Psychologist said it’s because I’m already overwhelmed and exhausted from my personal pain.
I like your new name