topic Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone! in Anxiety

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Mon, 21 May 2018 06:45:39 GMT

Hello world! I have started this thread to connect with other people who suffer Misophonia and IED. I used to think I was the most intolerant person and the way I saw myself was depressing (and embarrassing!) but now that I know that it's not something that is just limited to me, it's not an "evil" trait and that there are others who feel similarly - this is where I would like us to come together to feel safe and hopefully a little comforted. I would love to hear from anyone out there who can relate.....

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

PamelaR — Mon, 21 May 2018 08:14:28 GMT

Hello Angelite

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums.

I know little to nothing about Misophonia and IED. I am sure however, anyone out there who has this condition will respond to you. However, I'm not sure of how many there are out there with this type of mental health difficulty. Perhaps, all I can suggest to you at the moment is to make regular visits to your thread to get it to pop up to the top and so it is visible for people.

Be kind and caring to yourself.

PamelaR

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Croix — Mon, 21 May 2018 11:06:35 GMT

Dear Angelite78~

Good on you for making your own thread. I see you have already met Blondguy Paul and Geoff.

While people who suffer adverse reactions to some noises is not all that common here in the Forum by Googling the following you should find at least one recent thread:

Misophonia beyondblue forum

as well as some older ones. Unfortunately a search for Intermittent Explosive Disorder or IED is not as helpful. There are many here who do have anger management issues, however I'm not sure of the similarity.

I can relate to one thing, before I came here I felt very isolated and while I knew intellectually there must be others with the problems I faced I basically thought I was alone. Here I've benefited so much by finding people with similar experiences.

Would you care to say a little more about yourself? Neither of those illnesses would be easy to live with and I'd imagine make interaction with those around you much more difficult

Croix

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

blondguy — Mon, 21 May 2018 11:36:17 GMT

Hello Angelite78

Good on you for creating your own thread topic

As Croix mentioned you have touched base with Geoff (and myself) before. I think that Geoff did mention that he also suffered from Misophonia as well

If you could provide a little more info about yourself and your environment we will be able to support you more effectively 🙂

Great to have you posting with us Angelite!

My Kind thoughts

Paul

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

geoff — Mon, 21 May 2018 15:33:41 GMT

Hello Angelite78, I'm so pleased you have started this thread because without a doubt it would affect so many people and perhaps if I can just explain to those who are curious it's a reaction to sounds such as dripping water,
chewing, snapping gum or repetitive noises, such as pencil tapping.

Sometimes people can just turn off or block these noises out but as soon as I start to hear one then I'm fixated onto it.

My OCD hasn't helped me with this.

I was on the phone to a good friend the other day and the tap started to drip and drip and once I heard it, all I could hear in the background was drip, drip so I had to turn the tap off.

For me it's a big problem.

Great to have you.

Geoff.

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 08:24:25 GMT

Lovely to meet you Croix, thank you for your reply, sorry it's taken a while to get back here. It is very difficult for me to deal with this problem at work because I don't like having to ask people to stop making whatever sound/noise it is they are making - how do you tell someone that the sound/noise they are making is driving you insane on a level they'll never understand? I normally cope by leaving the area for a while or sticking my fingers in my ears. I have tried ear plugs but I work in a bloomin' call center don't I? I am currently trying to get back to the admin work I used to do 10years ago but my dream job would be in a library where the standard response to anything above a whisper is sshhhh. Sorry, out of time, I'll come back soon and share more....

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Croix — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 11:39:44 GMT

Dear Angelite78~

I can see quite clearly the problems you would have in a call center, places which normally have many people all talking in the one area. Now I apologize in advance in case you have already considered this or your workplace is not prepared to be helpful, but would it be possible to wear active noise-cancelling headphones hooked up to your handset?

I'm not sure they are really a 100% effective solution to extraneous noises, but may be enough to mask at least some of the problem sounds. Some advertise they let speech though so you might not be completely isolated from your colleagues unless you wish.

Hopefully you will get back to the peace of admin in the near future. A library sounds excellent too (except on kids' activities days 🙂

Croix

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 06:13:35 GMT

Dear Croix.

Thanks for your reply, that's a great idea! I am currently waiting for a double headset so that at least both ears are covered but I think I will request that they be noise cancelling ones and if they refuse to buy them I will buy them myself, thanks for the idea!

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 08:22:09 GMT

Hello everyone, I'm back at last. Today I'd like to share my latest IED episode. In the city, large intersection, 3 lane road going north, I am travelling north, need to cross the street at this intersection. It's a red light for northbound traffic. There's a bus in lane one then cars in the other two lanes. The car that is stopped in the middle lane decides to ignore the red light, start driving and cutting the bus off from leaving when the light goes green and decides he wants to go down the road I am about to cross. He keeps crawling, he's going to go through the pedestrians that are now crossing the road. I turn around and start yelling at him to stop, I yell at him that it's a green man and he needs to let us cross safely, he tri

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Croix — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 09:43:42 GMT

Dear Angelite~

Well your post finished unexpectedly so we don't know exactly what happened, however it's good you are still here to tell the tail.

There is something about traffic that can bring out the worst in people, not only road-rage but selfishness and poor judgment, perhaps it is something to do with being all isolated in vehicle, dunno.

May I ask looking back what would you have preferred your reaction to that driver had been?

Did you mange to tame the noise in your workplace at all?

Croix

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 02:14:47 GMT

Hi Croix, I'm so glad that some of my last post made it - I typed it out and then somehow it disappeared and I thought I had lost it all - was quite frustrated but glad I don't have to try to retell the story. The guy tried to wave me off but I stood my ground and told him that he was going to stop and let the pedestrians cross safely. That's a really fascinating question you ask, I do sometimes reflect on my reactions and how I would have preferred to tackle that situation. It's not good though, I never find myself wishing I could be a bit calmer, it's usually the case where I feel I should have been more forceful or aggressive to get my point across (I think this is mainly due to the lack of reaction I get from people, lack of remorse and just a blank ignorant look). When I reflected on this situation I told myself that I could have just kept walking, I could have just left people to look after themselves and learn to stand up for themselves but people don't and won't, so many people out there just take what is thrown at them and don't bat an eyelid, this is extremely frustrating to me, I want to tell the world to stand up for itself, fight for your right as a human being to be safe and happy in this world. I have an extremely overwhelming sense of justice and I just cannot walk away from a situation where someone is doing something wrong, whether it affects just me or someone else, I can't stand it, I have to tell them to stop being such an inconsiderate and ignorant person and do the right thing. I feel this may stem from my OCD and not being able to not follow the rules (which means I get enraged when others break the rules - worse when they get away with it). I now have a double headset at work which has helped a little bit. I spoke to my boss yesterday regarding the person sitting in front of me who has an absolutely booming voice, equivalent to what I would say is shouting. I told him that most of the time it is just distracting but now it's starting to affect me physically because I'm getting headaches and I'm feeling exhausted because in effect I am being forced to listen to something/someone that I don't want to. He said he doesn't think she's loud, not he doesn't think she's *that* loud, no doesn't think she's loud full stop. Other than moving desks which we have all just done, he asked me if there was anything I felt that he or the business could do to help resolve the issue. Limit reached, continued in next post......

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 02:40:15 GMT

My instant reaction wanted to be "Well you could tell her to shut the hell up!" but apparently that's not an option (I'm guessing because he doesn't think she's loud). The person sitting next to me thinks she's loud but no body in this place ever says anything about anything that bothers them so nothing gets done and because I'm the only person who complains, it comes across that I'm a whinger. The loud person in front of me has been put on project work today by another manager so they aren't on the phones this morning so it's nice not to have her voice booming at me (oh yeah, she likes to stand up as well every now and then which makes it even worse). Problem now is that she likes to hum and sing quietly - both of which are on my list of noises that drive me insane - I just can't win. Nope, I spoke too soon, she's back on the phones 😞 😞 😞 I have decided to seek professional help as I can't deal with this on my own anymore, the impact it's having on my frame of mind while I'm at work is not sustainable. I think I need to go to my GP, tell them what's wrong and then hopefully they can refer me to the right mental health specialist - maybe they can help me get into a workplace that does not cause me so much stress because I am having no luck whatsoever. I have no qualifications or experience (other than a lifetime love of books, reading and writing) to work in a library but it really would be my dream job. This one has to stop.

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Croix — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 03:21:51 GMT

Dear Angelite~

Well I'm glad the traffic incident worked out. When I join the police as a young constable I felt much as you, that those in society needed championing and tried very hard to do just that. Looking back I see how little effect my efforts were having and the disproportionate effect on me. So now I (mostly) try to pick winnable battles.

As you say many do not seem to stand up for their rights, maybe there is a bit of picking battles there too. That being said it is important people do try to rectify injustice. After all "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" (Apparently women were not included in Mr Burke's day:)

While I can sympathize with someone standing up every so often that voice must be a real problem. Being the only one to complain must make you feel very isolated. Can I ask if you have talked to this person about it? A decibel app on a smartphone can be a useful tool.

Having a love of books is something I can relate to, I can remember getting into trouble for reading under the blankets as a kid (short sighted parents I guess), and still read all the time some 60-something years later.

When you think about it all sorts of places store and use books, from courthouses to museums to TV stations as well as schools and libraries.

Croix

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Thu, 09 May 2019 03:24:44 GMT

Hi, sorry it's been such a long time. I'm back again. Work is going well, I sit in a corner as far away from everything as I can be but people worry about me being isolated, I don't think they realise just how much I need the isolation. I still socialise and interact with my colleagues and there's no one that is upsetting me at the moment so I feel comfortable at the moment. My struggle with misophonia and IED has increased. I tried seeing a psychologist but after the first session in which I laid my symptoms out on a silver platter for him, he didn't have a clue, he was baffled. I was not impressed and my faith in getting any help took a massive hit. Granted I haven't tried to find another psychologist yet but I will continue since a friend has encouraged me not to give up on getting help. I promise to try to come here more often, I need to keep a focus on my mental issues because they're not getting any better.

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Mon, 27 May 2019 01:50:20 GMT

Well, I spoke too soon. The intelligence of humans never ceases to amaze me. So I asked for the desk position I have because it is the further away from the main hub of our call centre. My managers were aware that I had asked specifically for this position because I needed to be as far away from the noise as possible. It was great for a while but now we've had some new people come through, there have been some desk shuffles and the loudest member of the entire call centre has been situation two desks away from me. On Friday last week I reached breaking point and it was all I could do to hold myself together. I have made my 2IC aware of the situation but as she is new to the role I don't think she really knows what to do so it's up to me to raise this issue with the person who put him there - how on Earth am I supposed to approach this level of mentality? I really don't know what to do. I'm so angry and frustrated, the situation feels helpless because people clearly aren't getting the message, no matter how loud I scream, and trust me, if this continues and I get to not just breaking point but complete annihilation point, then they really are going to find out just how loud I can scream. I can see myself having a complete break down at work, I'd like to avoid it but they seem to be doing everything possible to poke the bear......

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Croix — Mon, 27 May 2019 14:34:08 GMT

Dear Angelite78~

I guess with psychologists you let your fingers do the walking, ask if he or she is familiar with your condition and feels there have been successes, on the phone, if your GP is decent he/she may do that for you. No good wasting visits if it is the wrong person.

As for your ever-changing work, I have the feeling if you get up enough steam you will explain clearly and succinctly to whoever made the arrangement that it is simply inappropriate. If you have an alternative it may be accepted and peace can return. You have a disability and as far as possible an employer should take it into account.

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Thu, 30 May 2019 04:47:50 GMT

Hi Croix,

Thanks for coming back. I have resolved the work issue - turns out my manager was not aware of what was happening, despite me making it clear about my needs. I spoke to a different manager who understands me more and is more aware of my issues and he was able to speak to my manager and I am now sitting at another desk. I am so much happier where I am sitting, even though I'm a bit more exposed than what I was in the corner desk, it is sooooo much quieter and because there isn't anyone sitting that close to me, no one bothers me with idle chit chat, I can just happily get on with my work 😄 I haven't managed to look for any psychologists yet as I can't really afford it at this time so I might explore some other options, a friend said that I might be able to reach out to Anglicare so I'll see how I go with that. Thanks again for coming back! I'll post again soon with an update.

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Angelite78 — Mon, 17 Jun 2019 03:41:47 GMT

Well, I spoke too soon about the work situation, I hate where I am sitting, it is still noisy, I just can't escape the noise. The other day people were leaving at the end of their shift and they weren't quiet about it. I put in a complaint, sent an email to all the team leaders asking them to ask people to leave the building quietly at the end of their shift because I can't hear myself talk let alone anyone I'm speaking to on the phone. I heard nothing back so I don't even know if they just trashed my email or did anything about it. I certainly didn't get wind of any email being sent by TL's to ask people to demonstrate what I believe to be common courtesy and respect - something that is not easily found in the work place these days. I have tried to reach out to centrelink to see if there are any organisations out there that can help me to get a new job in an environment that is more conducive to the disorders I suffer from but I have had absolutely no luck whatsoever. I even asked Beyond Blue, I have said it I don't know how many times, but I CANNOT get help from any organization that requires people to be on the dole. All the organisations I am being referred to will ONLY help those who are unemployed. I cannot afford to be unemployed as I am the main income earner. I NEED HELP!!! I need to find an organization that can help place me in a new job - please, if anyone out there knows any organization that can help me please let me know because I can feel the situation becoming extremely dire and I am very afraid of having a mental breakdown at work. Please help!!!!!!!!!

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Ferrywren — Mon, 24 Feb 2020 09:54:59 GMT

Hi, I cannot help with any mental health places that can help you. I am following your thread as I am a mother of a child with intermittent explosive disorder. So,I have lived with someone I love for over 40 years watched how the rages. how my child tries to stop and cannot. . Everything you have shared I see my child go through as well. There is little knowledge on this disorder. My child was diagnosed 20 years ago. At present antidepressant are helping. With side affects of having a neg impact on his daily life. He sleeps now always tired. From one extreme to another. From Raging too so tired he is just functional. Don’t stop looking for help don’t stop asking for help. As my child said the other day there has to be an in between.

Misophonia & Intermittent Explosive Disorder - we're not alone!

Asky — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 04:13:02 GMT

Like to come out as suffering misophonia. Family are now understanding once I was able to describe my overwhelming desire to run, mame or kill when crunching sounds invade my space. Stupidly, I thought everyone had the same reaction and just kept quiet. The irony is if I crunch its not the same sound to me so I come across as such a hypocrite at times.