I need to know I'm not alone

TahliaElle — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 23:32:33 GMT

Hi sorry if this is long.

I've been with my partner for 2 years he's my rock and has always been supportive of my anxiety, I have GAD and OCD and a lot of my thoughts are about him. I was in a previous relationship which was very unhealthy and he left me at a very bad time in my mental health. A lot of my thoughts are "what if this relationship isn't working" "what if you don't love him any more" "there was no spark in that kiss you must not love him" and if goes on. Lately I've been moody and not wanting to have sex and not wanting to kiss or do anything. I've also lost motivation to take care of myself, go to the gym even clean the house.. I don't always get the physical symptoms of anxiety at the beginning of the thoughts but when I finally work myself up enough and I think I have to leave him I cry uncontrollably and have a panic attack. I take medication and see a psychologist but I just need to know I'm not alone, I google my thoughts every day lately and get scared when it says I don't love him.. I don't feel love for him right now but I don't feel it for anything else.. We've never split up and he always encourages me and says we'll get through it, I'm so scared because it feels so real sometimes and I don't know if I love him or not.. Surely If I didn't I would just leave and not feel sad about it..he knows all my thoughts and listens to everything. Please someone help me and tell me this has happened to them and you got through it.... I don't understand why I don't want him to touch me or kiss me or why I don't want to have sex at the moment...

Anyone to talk to is appreciated.

I need to know I'm not alone

Birdy77 — Thu, 06 Dec 2018 08:18:02 GMT

Dear TahliaElle,

I'm glad you've reached out for some support here today. Anxiety can be feel really isolating and frightening at times. This is a safe place to air your worries.

Although I can't tell you if you love your partner or not, what I can tell you is that in my experience, when my mental health isn't so great, physical intimacy is not something that i am always terribly interested in. When I'm really depressed, it's the last thing I feel like doing actually.

But just because you don't feel like being physically intimate with him doesn't mean you don't love him. It sounds like you've lost your spark for a lot of other things too: not taking care of yourself, not caring about housework, not wanting to go to the gym.

It could just be that you are depressed, and nothing much at all is giving you joy, not a problem with your lack of love for your partner, maybe just a lack of enthusiasm for everything in general?

It sounds like your partner is very supportive, that is a really wonderful thing.

Have you been able to talk through this worry with your psychologist?

You are very welcome here TahliaElle.

🌻birdy

topic I need to know I'm not alone in Anxiety

I need to know I'm not alone

I need to know I'm not alone