topic Terrified and ready to quit in Anxiety

Terrified and ready to quit

Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 10:47:43 GMT

I am at my wit's end and I can't see a way out of this except leaving this world. I have renovated my house and it may have asbestos and I am having samples tested in a laboratory after I have been told by 2 people who deal in it that it isn't I can't let it go. I have two kid's and I can't live with the guilt of thinking I have harmed them in some way.

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stormcloudz — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 11:08:11 GMT

Hi Sunnyside

You sound really scared, guilty and stressed out.

I know about asbestos, and I know that this isn't your fault. It's also quite likely your kids are not harmed.

Did you say that you have had two people tell you it is actually *not* asbestos? But that you can't believe it?

I am very sure that it would harm your kids more to lose you, than it would to be potentially harmed by potential exposure to potential asbestos.

Can you talk a bit more about why you feel so guilty and panicked? Are other things going on too? Please know that you can say anything here and not be judged.

Please also call one of the helplines and get some extra support, you sound really stressed out. 1300 22 4636

Try to take some deep, slow breaths to calm a little. We're here for you.

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Summer Rose — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 11:15:15 GMT

Hi Sunnyside6

I am also a mother of two and I can truly understand your panic and worry. You can't change the past, but you can move forward responsibly and you are doing just that.

You have sought professional advice. Two experts have advised you there is no asbestos. That is good news.

You have also organised further testing and those results will also likely be important to your peace of mind.

You have done everything reasonable to get the information you need to protect your family. And so far there is no evidence to suggest there was asbestos in your home.

Try to remember there is not yet any evidence of harm. When will you have the lab results?

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Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 11:15:34 GMT

Thank you for your reply. My Dad has asbestosis and the house we bought is about 100 years old. I was quite content with the fact that there was no asbestos in the house because my father in law who is a builder has done work on some of the areas where the possibility of asbestos material is and 2 people who deal in the demolition of it said it wasn't but searching the internet and speaking to an asbestos helpline, they say you can't tell by looking at it.

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Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 11:40:18 GMT

Hi Summer Rose, I cc'd should have the results by tomorrow and I am petrified. I have been prescribed medication by my doctor just so I can relax at night and I don't know how I am going to cope if the results are positive.

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Summer Rose — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 13:55:36 GMT

Hello again

I can appreciate that the person on the help line was trying to protect you. The internet information is designed to protect peopls, too. And I am certain that the average person would have trouble identifying asbestos but ...

Look at the evidence. Your father-in-law is an experienced builder with local knowledge. He also cares for you and your family. It is reasonable to assume he has far greater knowledge than the average person and he has no reason to lie and every reason to get it right.

Your demolition people would also have relevant experience and knowledge. If they were concerned rhey would have taken all steps to protect their own health and yours.

I think getting the testing done is a smart move but it's way too soon to panic. Wait for the results but think of it as insurance. You are covering your bases.

The most important thing right now is to keep yourself safe. Stormcloudz suggested reaching out to the bb phone line and you can also call Life Line on 13 11 14 if you're in need.

You will get through this one step at a time. Post any time

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geoff — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 16:27:41 GMT

Hello Sunnyside6, I'm truly sorry for your dad suffering from asbestosis as an old friend also found out that he had it.

Can I ask you a question whether or not you have OCD?

Kind Regards.

Geoff.

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Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 22:39:25 GMT

Hi Geoff, I have become obsessed with it, I look at different materials every where wondering if it contains it. I feel terrified just to hear the word. I'm not sure whether that's OCD.

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Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 22:44:38 GMT

Thanks Summer Rose, waiting for the results is so petrifying. I can't go to work, I can't be bothered doing any housework, which is really unlike me, and I constantly keep checking my emails for the results. If it's positive, I am scared as to how I will react.

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stormcloudz — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 23:02:42 GMT

Sunnyside, I'm also so sorry your dad has asbestosis, no wonder you are so worried. Geoff, I'm also very sorry to hear about your friend.

Sunnyside, it's a good idea to get the material tested, but as SummerRose says, it's too soon to assume the worst.

I hope you don't think I'm dismissing your concerns or not taking you seriously. I know what it is to be desperately worried about a loved one's health, and the anguish it causes. But I don't want to see you feeling such despair and assuming the worst.

Please stay in touch with us, as you can see, there are lots of compassionate people here who will want to help and will understand.

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Sunnyside6 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 23:11:21 GMT

Thank you Stormcloudz, I am so scared because I feel I have been told two lots of contradictory information. I will continue to stay in touch and I really appreciate all your help.

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Summer Rose — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 02:44:38 GMT

Hi Sunnyside6

I am sorry about your dad's illness. I suspect because you know first hand the damage that can be done by asbestos that your radar is up.

All of your fears and emotions are reasonable in this situation. It's okay to be preoccupied right now. But it might help to have a plan in place for when you read the email. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to have a friend or family member with you.

In the meantime, breath. Look after the kids and be kind to yourself. That will be enough to manage right now.

Please post and let us know how you get on. Kind thoughts to you x

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stormcloudz — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:05:47 GMT

Sunnyside

I am not sure if factual information will be helpful to you at the moment, but just in case:

1. There are certain brands and types of materials that were usually made with some asbestos in them. They have various marks and shapes. Professional builders get very good at recognising materials that are likely to contain asbestos. However if there is doubt, then (as its sometimes hard to see the actual fibres with the naked eye), an experienced person can look at a sample through a microscope in a lab to check.

2. Exposure to asbestos does not automatically cause disease. It depends on a whole range of factors such as whether you smoke etc etc. That's really important to remember. Even if there is asbestos, do not assume the worst.

Any time you feel panicky, feel free to post here or call the helpline. I know it sounds impossible, but try to distract yourself a bit sometimes with anything - TV, the radio...

SummerRose's idea of having someone with you when you read the results is a good one. Is there someone suitable?

Remember we care about you and some of us have experienced panic attacks and family worries, so you are not alone.