topic Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!! in Anxiety

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 11:57:21 GMT

Hi , first time here

as you’ve probably already guessed I suffer with health anxiety it all started 6yrs ago with a major panic Attack which required an ambulance and a stay in hospital as I really thought I was dying and new nothing about what a panic Attack was until that day , fast forward to now & cut a long story short I was diagnosed with a thyroid issue have been on medication now for a few years and it seems to be ok but it can sometimes play up which can increase my anxiety pretty bad when my levels are out I’m also on medication to try and combat the anxiety but sometimes when I’m really worried and anxious it doesn’t do a great deal . Like at the moment , about 6 weeks ago I was out with my husband and 2 year old and we were in a shop and I was literally fine talking away not thinking of a thing and then out of no where I got a very severe pain in the side of my head so bad I felt a bit sick and had to sit down it didn’t last long maybe 1min if that and it was gone had a couple of twinges later in the afternoon but nothing more after that and I have never experienced anything like it before as you can imagine for someone with health anxiety this has now caused me to think I have a brain tumour I thought not much more about after it happened and thought I was ok but last week I had a similar thing just not painful when I was driving my son to swimming I started to feel strange in my head and really foggy and kept zoning out and really struggled to sit through his lesson because I felt like something awful was about to happen , so now since last Tuesday I’m in a completely full blown anxious state and fearing the worst that I have a brain tumor as I have a sore neck and continue to have sharp pains on my head I don’t have headaches but I do feel off balance and really feel like I’m lacking concentration and my memory is shocking and getting stuck on words this is really worrying me I’m in such a state I do have an appointment with my doctor on Friday. I wish so MUCH I could just be normal and be like oh well whatever like when my husband has anything wrong he just doesn’t even think twice about it I wish so much I could feel the same but I just continue to go in a vicious cycle last month was esophageal cancer because I have reflux before that I was convinced it was my heart because my reflux was playing up I literally have had every test possible apart from a brain scan and all are always fine aside from my thyroid and low iron .

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

jess334 — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 04:25:36 GMT

Hi Health Anxious Mummy,

Welcome to the forums. It's a great place to find like minded people, usually with plenty of experience and advice.

The pain you described sounds awful. I would probably worry too if I felt that. I have a general anxiety disorder, but often it does result in stressing about medical issues. Last month I went to the hospital with chest pains, that turned out to be a pulled muscle. But better to be checked out than not!

You mention you are on medication for your anxiety, so I assume you have a mental health plan? Are you also seeing a psychologist or councillor about your anxiety? I find that going over some of the coping techniques with my psychologist can really help me deal with the anxiety when it occurs.

Kind thoughts, Jess

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Fri, 02 Nov 2018 08:50:01 GMT

Hi,

its my first time here and I just wanted to say I could’ve written your post! I found it so helpful to know it’s not just me scared of my health and my husband also fobs off his ailments! I think I’m nuts! I’m on medication also but if I see a bruise my mind thinks leukaemia! I also suffered from head aches and severe migraines for about two weeks. I would get pangs here and there in my brain. My husband took me to the dr literally picked me up off the floor because I was convinced I had a brain tumour and was on the verge of a panic attack. The dr told me to squeeze both his hands and touched my forehead whilst my eyes were squeezed closed and asked if one side was more numb than the other which it wasn’t. He also checked my reflexes and they were all good. I did a brain scan anyway because I knew I would keep thinking about it otherwise. Thank god it was clear. Then it went to breast pain and I did an ultrasound on that too and it was fine. Then I kept getting pelvic pain which I presume is from the anxiety as I never had digestive issues before. I have done two pelvic ultrasounds which show there is a lesion on my left ovary. This result has had me in bed all week. I haven’t taken the kids to school for two days. Even though the dr said there is no blood going through it so it’s not god forbid cancer I’m still sooooo scared and don’t want to go for the MRI to see exactly what it is. Even the sonographer told me it wasn’t cancer because I was crying uncontrollably so I think he told me just to calm me down. I’m replying to you so u know it’s not just u that I’m exactly the same. Hope this helps and please reply hopefully your doing ok?

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Fri, 02 Nov 2018 11:34:37 GMT

Hi Ash , I’m so glad you wrote to me I think I have literally just found my twin everything you have just written has been me all over i too think all of what you do and more over every little thing I was on the leukaemia thing over a couple of bruises just a few months ago but they went away because I must have bumped myself but I was adamant it was leukaemia . I also have had pelvic issues I had all those test in August last year and was convinced it was ovarian or cervical cancer and was in a right state about it but it was just some scarring from my c section causing issues feb this year I was most certain I had bowel cancer I was that worked up I made myself sick cried everyday and lost weight and put myself through the hell of a colonoscopy & $2000 out of pocket which came out completely clear aside from a few small haemorrhoids which were removed . now because I got that massive pain in my head and have been feeling confused and foggy which I know can be anxiety ( I also have a thyroid issue) for the last 6wks I’m convinced I have a tumor, I saw my Dr today thank god he’s understanding he isn’t worried but he’s sent me for a CT which is Monday and back to the dr on wed so now I’m really in a state I just keep picturing him ringing and saying you better have someone with you when you come in or ringing to say come in now that’s the things that run through my head constantly and I lose my breath and want to vomit just picturing myself in hospital because I’m having cancer treatment away from my 2yr old son and husband that’s how extreme I think on a daily basis I constantly worry about my health even though I go to the gym almost everyday or walk 6km even doing those activities I’m thinking what if I just collapse from a brain haemorrhage or heart Attack my mind doesn’t stop I’m always in a vicious circle I have months & months where I’m great but then bang I go to where I am now I am hoping my thyroid levels are out that would explain these issues and anxiety but he doesn’t think they are as they were done two months ago and were fine but he checked again today anyway. So this weekend sux for me , Monday I’m dreading & Wednesday I’m petrified. Hang in there your MRI will be fine these little scarring and lesions can be from having kids that’s all mine was . Thank you for reaching out to me I hope your doing ok and me well I’m just trying to take deep breaths and get through the next few days hopefully Wednesday afternoon I will feel a lot better. X

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 03:15:53 GMT

Oh hun we are a pair aren’t we! I went and saw my usual gp this morning after not sleeping all night having night sweats just picturing the MRI and it’s result. She said don’t go do a MRI that if it was sinister it would’ve shown on the first two ultrasounds. She said my anxious mind isn’t reading the part where there is NO BLOOD FLOW going through it which if it was cancer there would be. I keep reading the results so what she did is write on it ITS NOT CANCER and signed her name to it. I keep re reading that so hopefully my mind can just play that over at night instead of it focusing on ‘unknown small lesion’ and start sweating like crazy! I’m on medication at the moment I’ve been on it for 5 weeks now she said if I don’t get better that she will increase the dose and I’m going to start counselling.

You’re braver than me. You are going to get the tests done I’m too scared to get any more tests done because I literally shake and act like a child during the test then can’t even drive there to get the result. It’s the result that has me stuck. Why aren’t I registering that it’s not something so sinister?!

I didn’t have caesareans with my kids they were normal deliveries so then my mind says how can it just be a lesion if u were never cut from the inside.. I saw a naturopath who has helped with my digestive issues and she did me a live blood test. Can u maybe get onto one? It’s a small prick and then they show u ur red n white blood cells. She explained that if there was any cancer in my body that it would show and thank goodness she said it looked good except for my iron and a bit of thyroid. Honestly if your dr wasn’t scared it was a tumour and he checked ur reflexes and told u to squeeze and that other stuff then it’s not. I know exactly how u feel and you won’t believe me or anyone until you see the results. Have u had a full blood count recently? The ER dr told me that mine was fine and if there was any sign of the dreaded C word something in my blood would be out of whack.

I know ur feeling guilty on top of it. We want so desperately to go back to being ‘normal’ but this damn anxiety is the worst thing! Are u seeing anyone for it? Are u on any medications? You can always talk to me. They gave me medication to try and calm down it’s just made me a bit dizzy but hasn’t stopped the thoughts.

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 11:54:58 GMT

Hi lovely ,

ha yes a great pair alright just as bad as each other lol , that’s fantastic news , see so now it’s time to try and focus and put this nasty thing called health Anxiety to bed you’ve done the hardest part which is the tests and you got through it and you are FINE, this is what I’m hoping to do for myself on Wednesday after 3.30 i have the CT tomorrow and go to my GP on Wednesday .

Believe me hun I’m far from brave I’m actually a crazy mess but I’m good at hiding it sometimes but inside my head is filled with thoughts of health problems and whenever my doc orders a test even though he may think I’m fine but just wants to check , i then argue with myself to think maybe I don’t need it and I’m overreacting I will cancel then I think but if I don’t go and there was something there I would blame myself for not going in the first place and getting it early that’s how extreme I go and then just like you I’m a mess waiting for the results and every time my phone rings I near pass out then getting to the dr I’m fine but pulling up and getting out of the car I literally want to vomit , pass out & my blood pressure goes really high because I’m so worked up and I always make my husband leave our office to come every time and I’m always really irritated and moody when I’m having to go through these moments and I feel awful because I’m so quick tempered and snappy at times but I just can’t stop looking around at everyone and thinking how much it’s not fair that I could have a very serious illness and everybody else is ok and enjoying life (ridiculous huh ) but it’s a really hard state of mind to snap out of .

My GP didn’t do the physical cognitive test but he asked me about vision and hearing and was watching my eyes and mouth whilst I was speaking and said he’s not worried but we will just check I think he does the tests for my peace of mind , yes I just had two full blood work ups and both were fine aside from slightly low iron which I’ve had since having my son and I’m on iron supplement for that .

Yes im on medication have been for 3 yrs but I only take half he said to take a full tablet but I feel all strange if I do so I don’t want to but maybe will have to up the dose . I have had everything under the sun in the past to calm me down but it did Didly squat the thoughts were still there .

Im not seeing anyone yet but I have asked that I want help and he said just get this test and we will then talk about it on Wednesday. I really want to fix this .

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 12:06:26 GMT

Where in Australia are you ?

I see 81 so I’m guessing that’s your year of birth I’m 84 .

Im looking forward to seeing a phsycologist and really trying to overcome this . It would be great to chat to you and the same goes for you your welcome anytime if you need to talk . It’s awesome to have someone who understands completely and wholeheartedly what I’m going through , nobody at all aside from my husband knows I suffer with this and our closest family is 6hrs away from where we live and I’m a stay at home mum to our toddler whilst my hubby runs our businesses so you can imagine how overactive my mind is on a daily basis. As I’m alone pretty much all the time aside from my little man who is a challenging and spirited toddler lol so that doesn’t help either .

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 00:04:07 GMT

I’m in Melbourne. Hopefully u have had the CT scan at his morning? Trust me if you have and they let u leave then there is NOTHING to stress about cos they wouldn’t let u leave if they saw something. So if Tuesday comes and u havnt received a call then u should feel better even though I know u won’t until u see it in black and white!! even though my dr said it’s ok I’m still s*#t scared! I keep saying now I have to check it again now I know there is something there I can’t be 100% at peace u know? I’m thinking of just going to a gyno but the minute I think of going there my heart starts racing and I sweat and feel I can’t walk... I wish they had just said yes all normal so I could deal with the anxiety alone without being plagued with the ovary stuff! Yes I’m snappy too! Like how dare people just walk around laughing whilst I’m stressed to the max! Why are they sitting for coffee and lunch? Why are they healthy? I know it sounds mean but that’s how it feels. I so hope u have done the ct scan (I cried during mine)... please let me know how u go xxx yes I’m 1981!! Even though I feel like I’m 1941 😫

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 12:40:49 GMT

Hey 👋

I’ve had the CT done my appointment was the last of the day at 4.30 and I had to have the contrast dye as well which apparently is standard procedure so they can see all the arteries properly so of course I got myself in a mess about that thinking what if I’m one of the people that stop breathing from it but I’m here typing so I survived only side effect was hot flushes and a bit of nausea but it all passed within 20mins I ended up being upfront with the girl and told her I was worried although I felt awkward asking I did say was there anything you could see & she said that the pictures that flash up to her during the scan she doesn’t see all of them as it divides the brain up into sections but she said from what she could see nothing jumped out at her that was obvious sooo I’m saying to myself that’s good but then I’m thinking maybe she just said that . But the worst thing is they gave me the pictures to take with me so of course I’ve had them out all evening just staring over and over and going to google to compare 🤦🏼‍♀️ So there is nothing glowing or anything that looks different or out of place but then I’m saying to myself who knows I’m not a Dr so I’m on edge and very shaky and nervous as she said Dr will have the results by lunchtime tomorrow so I’m so scared my phone will ring I feel sick and yes your totally right I won’t rest until it’s in black & white .

I don’t think you should go to a gyn if your doc said your ok and not to worry then listen to her I’m slowly learning although sometimes I will not be satisfied I push through until the thoughts disappear but i totally understand how you feel with not feeling at peace but that’s the anxiety taking over and talking.

Haha yep I can relate I’m 1984 but feel 1944 🙉 and I’m in NSW in the far north coast just before QLD 💜

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 23:14:19 GMT

Hi, I’m so glad u had it done. If they didn’t keep you then and there then you’re fine that’s what my dr told me. She said they wouldn’t let u sleep one more night if there was a tumour! I hope that gives a little relief. I have an appt with my psych on Thursday as I don’t feel like I’m getting better... same negative and worried thoughts over and over. Don’t even want to take the kids to school.. I can feel like ovary pain and I’m convinced something is growing in there! This is the worst thing I’ve had to deal with.. you can always talk to me. It’s hard not having family around but my family don’t know any of what is happening to me (apart from my amazing husband and my sis in law). My mum is a liver transplant patient and also had a sarcoma five years ago so I think that’s scarred me a bit too... I just want to wake up in the morning and not have these thoughts...

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Kmart96 — Tue, 06 Nov 2018 10:27:28 GMT

I am so glad that I’m not alone in this! Every time I get any sort of ache or pain my mind immediately goes to cancer or something else just as serious. I’ve seen several doctors and had numerous tests done with everything coming back clear but I just can’t believe them and I don’t know why. I just want to feel like my normal self again but I don’t know how to get back there

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Tue, 06 Nov 2018 10:46:59 GMT

You’re not alone at all... please try to see a psychologist before it starts to get worse. Writing about it seems to help a little also. I don’t believe the drs too for some reason.. here’s hoping we all work through our issues and come out the other side. It’s soooo frustrating because I used to be the type of person to ignore symptoms and stuff; never stressed about myself and now I pray I could go back to those days..

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Kmart96 — Tue, 06 Nov 2018 11:03:00 GMT

I’m seeing one at the moment and we’re slowly working through the anxiety but it always just keeps coming back. Hoping that it’s just a phase and my new meds my psychiatrist put me on start to take effect soon

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

sdona49 — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 05:41:56 GMT

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. I have always struggled with anxiety but health anxiety is new to me of recent.

I have increasingly become obsessed with my neurological condition over the past 2 months beginning with the development of neck pain (which I still have but I see the physio soon yay!). I am continuously monitoring my gait, speech, thought and mood. I feel a fog in my brain and my eyes are heavy. I get aches all over my neck, head and face. I'm starting to space/zone out and my short term memory has taken a turn for the worst with me forgetting thoughts from 1 second gone. But they do come back soon after which I'm glad for. I was watching anime with subtitles and noticed I would get stuck on the last word of the sentence and it was like pushing over a wall just to finish that word in my mind. I'll mix up simple routines like yesterday I put deodorant on before hopping into the shower. I don't laugh as much as I would like and feel a little scared. I get shivers through the back of my head and sometimes can feel nausea and dizziness. I'm currently medicated but am under stress and struggling to break this cycle. I've diagnosed myself with numerous diseases from cancer to CJD. Even one of my forearms feels weaker than usual most of the time. I've had numerous doctor visits and done numerous tests but have all come back clear. I've done a CT scan of recent which I will get the results for tomorrow.

It brings me comfort writing this and knowing I'm not alone in this struggle.

I'm currently experimenting with meditation and neurofeedback therapy to ease my anxiety so hopefully I can see some improvement. Can't see a psychologist at the moment as I have used up my mental health plan but managed to get physio on a care plan. The hardest part of it is waiting to feel like I was before this ordeal. I feel I'm getting back slowly. My doctor is really understanding and has been with me throughout this year through medication changes and is always willing to support me by allowing me to make appointments to chat if I need to.

I hope writing this helps.

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

beader — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 07:30:41 GMT

Well I'm 70 now and I also have health anxiety. I have terrible trouble going to the doctor. My heart rate and blood pressure go up and I shake now. Have had this for 14 years now and it never gets any easier. How does anyone else cope with this? I look around the waiting room and all the other people just seem normal, but not me, I"m a mess, despite my counselling sessions. My body just takes over

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 07:46:54 GMT

Hey 👋

well I went to my GP and my Brain CT was 100% clear the reporting Dr wrote NIL next to everything and where it says conclusion & findings he wrote Nil , my neck CT showed some minor narrowing of my C3-5 & C3-4 vertebrae and a slight curve in the neck which explains the sharp pains in my head . So I’m feeling a huge weight off my shoulders and a lot more relaxed for a change . So I’m going to try cognitive behaviour therapy myself and try and combat these thoughts once and for all , I cannot believe that anxiety can make you feel so many symptoms and can make you feel so sick .

I lost my mum when I was 19yrs old because she had been fobbed off and misdiagnosed for over 5yrs and always told it was anxiety or stress when she did finally find a DR who looked beyond the textbook and saw that there actually was something going on she was in heart failure and her mitral valve was not working at all , so she needed urgent open heart surgery to replace the valve she was wheeled into surgery smiling away and told me how much she loves me she was brought back to intensive care was awoken the next day and then by that night I was back at the hospital at 1am after they phoned me to say she had deteriorated and needed immediate surgery because she was bleeding into her heart . She fought for two weeks after that until her heart gave in she passed away in my arms at 10.20am on the 26th Feb 2004 , her heart issue was due to having rheumatic fever as a child it had damaged her heart . so since this happened I have suffered health anxiety very severely but find as the times going on it’s not as constant it just comes on here and there but when it does it hits me hard . I miss my mum every single day she was my best friend. But I’m going to try very hard to overcome this and enjoy life because I don’t want to waste it feeling like I have been . 💛

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 08:35:45 GMT

How frustrating is it! But glad to know we’re not alone even though I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.. what a horrible thing to have in common! I hope all is well with the ct scan results. I do know that Anxiety can create and mimick symptoms of an actual disease! Wishing u well please let me know how u go. I tried making a gyno appt today and they don’t have one for another two months! I would’ve gone crazy by then!!

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Ash81 — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 11:45:49 GMT

Oh!! I am so happy for u!! I was thinking about u today hoping all was ok! Hopefully that should make u feel better.

what a terrible way to lose your other; I’m so sorry for ur loss and that explains why you don’t really trust drs that much. My mum was given too much radiation which in turn led to her femur bone dying and now she can’t walk she’s permanently wheelchair bound so maybe that’s why we don’t believe the drs too much when they say we’re fine. Seeing it in black and white will make u feel better. Keep the positive and ‘normal’ results stuck on a wall in your house and whenever ur anxiety starts creeping in walk past that wall and see all the normal results in an attempt to try and shut that thought down.

I hope you can find a way to feel better again and you can be a shining example for ur little boy.

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Health_Anxious_Mummy — Sat, 10 Nov 2018 09:03:11 GMT

Would you believe I’m at it again I’m all worried again , I’ve come down with some type of chest infection hubby was sick and master 2 is sick , which my doc gave antibiotics for but it’s set my Reflux off really bad and some foods I have are getting stuck and now I’m fearing the worst that I have Esophageal Cancer, I had a scope in feb of this year which came out to say that I suffer from non erosive reflux disease which basically is acid coming up but not causing any damage all the biopsies came back fine aside from gastritis and some other thing which can be controlled by medication but I can’t help but shake the thought of that he may of missed something because he is such a relaxed type of Dr or something has grown since feb of course I can’t stay away from google and it all says the worst so now I’m petrified but I don’t want to go back to the specialist again seeming I was only there in feb and I was also there in 2016 and I have probs had 3 scopes prior to that since 2012 and all have never showed anything serious but I’m just in a whirlwind again and worried and this is a constant thing this reflux it seems to be ok then come back again it never really disappears and all has been worse since having my son .

I wish I didn’t always think the worse but I do 😞

Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

Kmart96 — Mon, 12 Nov 2018 06:34:12 GMT

My reflux always flares up when I’m anxious too! I had gastroscopy about a month ago and everything was clear but much the same as you, I always think worst case scenario. My latest one is when I get any pain in my chest or ribs I think I’ve got a pulmonary embolism. It’s so crippling and I really hope new medication I’m on will start to help me out. I get so frustrated with myself because no matter how many doctors tell me I’m completely healthy, I don’t believe them and think that they’ve somehow missed something. I wish my mind would stop playing tricks on me!