topic Exhausted in Anxiety

Exhausted

JanieN — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 10:49:06 GMT

I hope I am posting this in the right place.

I am just exhausted. I along with my husband are sufferers of anxiety ( social for him, social and health for me) and my husband has also been dealing with depression as well since his teen years. Both of us have severe anxiety, we are also both unemployed, I sustained a back injury almost 10 years ago so I deal with physical pain as well everyday. Most of my anxiety lately though has been for my husband, in January his JSA informed him he is two days into his WFTD phase and signs him up then and there for a program that was 30 or so hours a week, we don't drive and the place was a fair way away. Can they do that? She gave him no information about training and he had to sign what she gave him because he had no idea if he had the right not to. We both had a bit of a breakdown but he was able to get a medical certificate to cover him for a while. Now he has just finalized his enrollment at TAFE. Which I feel we can breathe for a minute. I'm lost as to what we should do now, in January this is going to start all over again for him, I have been forced out of my comfort zone so many times already and it has done me no good. I never want to see him the way he was that day after that appointment, it honestly nearly killed me. I have seen so many wonderfully helpful people on this forum, I would honestly appreciate any help at all that anyone could give.

Thank you.

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 11:16:38 GMT

Hello Janie,

Good job on being able to post. It takes a lot of courage to write your first post. And hitting the 'post' button is even harder. So, without further ado, welcome!

You most definitely have posted this in the right section!

Okay, so depression and anxiety are, as you probably know, two of the most common mental illnesses on the planet. But that doesn't make them any easier to deal with than say, bipolar or schizophrenia. Have a read through the other anxiety threads in the anxiety forum- you might find some coping staretgies and advice there that you may find useful.

I don't really know about this program thingy. Might have to wait for someone who understands more to help you on that one. There might be something in another anxiety thread or elsewhere. Sorry about that 😬 I hate not being able to help.

i understand the feeling of seeing a loved one go through something tough or saddening of seeing them depressed. Whether it's a partner, friend, or family member, it is all the same. Extremely painful and it makes your heart ache.

im sure that there are countless people who are way more helpful than me, but I hope I helped anyway. Your situation sounds stressful (for want of a better word) and, well, exhausting (hence the name of the thread). I get you. It will get better. It just takes time and effort. And support. I hope you find some here on the BB forums.

all the best

Chloe

Exhausted

JanieN — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 11:48:03 GMT

Thank you for the reply and the welcome Chloe. You may not feel like you've done much to help but you have. You are definitely right though, posting wasn't easy and I nearly wasn't going to. I never thought I'd feel low enough to post on a forum such as this, looking around now though I'm glad I did. I've not found a solution to this current problem but you're right there are a lot of helpful posts about managing and dealing, a major issue with me is I can take in all the information someone is giving me and no matter how hard I try it never seems to stick for long.
Again I thank you for your warm welcome, I still feel like I'm going to cry again posting this, i'm almost sure it will get easier.

And don't feel bad for not knowing about the other issue, as you said, there is bound to be someone around who might offer some advice.

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 20:31:40 GMT

Janie,

I didn't think I'd ever post on a forum like this either, but here we both are lol. Trust me, it gets easier. I can log on now, check out all the new threads and just reply to them all without a second thought.

Finding solutions when it comes to managing anxiety and depression can be a bit of a search, a bit of trial and error. What works for one person may not work for the next. And once you find something that works, the anxiety/depression doesn't go away overnight. It's not magic (I wish) so you have to be willing and committed to working with those strategies over an extended period of time.

Hope you have a better day than previous,

chloe x

Exhausted

JanieN — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 10:47:14 GMT

Chloe,

May I ask what some of your techniques for managing anxiety and depression are? If you don't want to answer that's totally fine, I understand.

Today was slightly better but not much, still feeling a lot of fear and nowhere closer to how I can help my husband in anyway. I know I just need to be patient and wait for people to reply. Feeling physically ill because of this is not so fun, and the feeling of impending doom won't seem to go away.

Thank you again Chloe.

Exhausted

startingnew — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 11:24:53 GMT

HI Janie and welcome to BB. huge kudos to you for posting as thats not easy to do.

Chloes given a nice introduction for you but i would like to welcome you as well.

i suffer from depression, GAD, health anxiety, abit of social anxiety and have BPD so can relate to you on many levels. i can also relate to you on the physical side of things. i suffer from a chronic spinal and foot conditions and having both mental and physical pain can be so debiliating at times cant it!

i find that when my physical things get worse so does my mh and vise versa- is that the same for you too?

The program you speak of im not really sure of however it is in yours/hubbys rights to ask questions and voice your concerns surrounding this even via email. could you possibly do some research on their site to see if there are some alternatives like somewhere closer to you? and also what supports they could offer you?

im wondering if you and your hubby have some supports to help with your anxiety? it can be very hard to cope with on your own and despite having each other you both suffer from it so its kinds like going in circles- does that sound about right? i would really suggest that both you and hubs get some support- some one on one support. you can do this by making an appt with your gp (make sure its abit longer though) and discussing what is happening for you. they can perform a mh assessment which enables you to see a psychologist and a psychiatrist (if you choose meds as a part option as well) at reduced costs.

there are a few threads id reccomend taking a read of for your anxiety if you are up for it? ill list them here and you can take a look at will. ive got many coping strategies that im happy to share as well. what has worked for you in the past? (i dont want to suggest heaps of things and youve already tried it)

you can find these thread by using the BB search bar-

'COPING STRATEGIES'- this one has a few pages with lots of coping mechanisms

'Depression- what is it and how do we cope'

'Anxiety- it can be overcome'

'Health Anxiety- tips, ideas and coping strategies'

if you would like to join in a social thread and get to know some more members your more than welcome to join a thread called 'The BB Cafe'

also feel free to take a look around the site here too for some more information and around the forums too 🙂

Please keep talking and well done for reaching out 🙂 i hope ive helped somewhat. im more than happy to keep chatting of course 🙂

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 11:25:06 GMT

Hi Janie,

sure, I'll share a few with you. So youll find that some might work for you and some might not, these are just things like little tricks and strategies that help me control my anxiety and depression.

Depression

So my depression isn't there all the time, it comes and goes throughout the week, but sometimes like the other day I will be depressed for a period of usually between 2-5 days continuously. I find that when I am depressed, these things help:

Talking to a friend
exercising
watching a try not to laugh video on YouTube
shopping
eating (be careful though, too much sugar can fuel depression)
Cuddling- okay this might sound weird but hugging (especially your partner bf/gf etc) releases endorphins, which are basically happy hormones

Anxiety

So with anxiety, some of the things I use are the same as depression. So...

Exercise- again this is a really good one as it also releases endorphins as well as keeps you fit
mindfulness, yoga and deep breathing
reading
Posting in the forums to help others
talking to a friend
I also have this strategy thing that really helps, but the explanation is too long to put into this post so I will do it on another post in a sec

Glad to see you are feeling better now, I am about to go to bed so I will post that strategy tomorrow

Night 😄

Chloe x

Exhausted

JanieN — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 00:27:54 GMT

Hi starting new,

Thank you for the welcome.

I always hate saying I'm happy I'm not the only one who knows how I feel as far as my anxiety and physical pain go because I'd never wish them on anyone. I can completely agree with you that it is one big awful cycle, my back pain increases, I feel terrified and feel down. I am truly sorry that you not only have to live with physical pain but also bpd, depression and anxiety. I've not really spoken to many people as far as my back pain goes? If you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with it when its at its worst? I know its a silly question because our back issues are a bit different but I'm always looking for advice.

I have a email written out (I'm advocating on my husbands behalf which has not been easy) that I'm trying to get the courage to send to his JSA complaint department, just explaining how he has been treated this year. I don't know if it will do any good but I need to try.

Thank you so much for the thread recommendations, I think I'll spend a little time having a look around today, especially the bb cafe.
You have been a huge help for me today, thank you so much :).

Exhausted

JanieN — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 00:30:29 GMT

Hi chloe

Thank you so much for your tips and advise, we share a lot of the same strategies :). Thank you again, I hope you've been having a good weekend?

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 07:39:36 GMT

Hey Janie,

so that strategy I was going to post but doesn't fit I was typing up on my laptop but it died 😕 will try and get it up tomorrow sorry about that 😬

I have been having a good weekend, how about you?

x Chloe

Exhausted

startingnew — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 07:52:29 GMT

hi Janie, im glad my post was helpful 🙂

its hard being ok all the time, but please know its ok to not be ok and to ask for some help like youve done here as well as some helplines too if you are comfotable in talking to them..

you are more than welcome to ask questions and ill try my best to answer them. sometimes we have to break the cycle, either physically in the form of pain management or mentally in the form of trying to cope with our symptoms and stuggles that day. for my pain management i was on anti-inflammatories and pain releif however i cant take anit-infalmmatories. if the pain gets too bad otc painrelief and antiflammes work well however its best to consult your gp. other things that help me are gentle daily stretches to keep the muscles stronger and not so tight, rest, and heat packs work well. i found that wheni replaced my matress, and pillows to a better suit it was a bi help too and some sleeping positions as well. if you take a look online theres ways to do some stretches, and sleeping positions. magnesium is also really good for muscles too if you would like a natural remedy.

i find when my anxiety is really high or my depression is really low thats when it gets worse so i try to kepe my anxiety in check and catch the symptoms early like a racing heart, finding it abit hard to breathe etc. grounding exercises, breathing and distractions help me- theres quite a few on the coping strategies thread i suggested to you. im sure youll find something there thats helpful.

well done on writing away to JSA, i really hope they can commodate you hubbys needs and are understanding of your circumstances. i am a carer for my pop so i do alot of advocating for him too, can be quite tricky sometimes too.

how have you been today?

Exhausted

JanieN — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 10:39:19 GMT

Thank you for replying again starting new,

As I'm writing this I'm having one of my worst moments of today, feeling sick, my heart is racing and I really just want to cry. I do this to myself, things are ok atm (I think) my husband is safe and will be happy studying and having people off his back to breathe a bit. I sabotage myself, instead of feeling relief my mind just moves onto our next obstacle. That being, we live in Hobart, my family in wa, every second year we travel to wa ( at my amazing families expense because we can't afford it) to spend Christmas. We have to approach our JSAs and ask approval to go, this has never been a problem in the past but I'm being paranoid and just expecting the worst. I miss my family, so much, after this year so far I just want my mum to cuddle me. Sad I know, I'm a grown woman. I'm scared they'll say no. Why do I do this to myself? 😞

We are opposites, I don't take painkillers ( my pain tells me when my back will seize up) I just take anti inflammatory 🙂

thank you for sharing your pain relief methods, we share a lot of the same ones. I'm going to look into magnesium as well, thank you.

Breathing is one I'm doing atm, I can't focus on reading and I need to be really careful what I watch so I'm just focusing on my breathing trying to calm down.

How are you? How was your weekend?

Exhausted

JanieN — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 10:41:17 GMT

Hi Chloe

That's no problem, take all the time you need. I appreciate any help I get.

Feeling awful, but I am really glad you had a good weekend 🙂

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 20:25:20 GMT

Hi Janie,

why are you feeling awful? Want to talk about it?

hope you feel better today xx

chloe

Exhausted

startingnew — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 07:53:58 GMT

hi Janie, i do apologise for my slower responses atm. ive only got one hand- the other is broken so takes me a little bit longer to type up posts.

i really hope todays been better for you and the breathing helped you....

please know your mental health isnt you. atm is controlling you by making you think the way you are. over time youll have some more control over your thoughts. have you heard of thought challanging at all? im happy to share it here for you and you can try it?

no it doesnt sound silly you want a hug from your mum or anyone. love and affection is a natural and basic human need. nothing silly about it. having family so far away too would be really hard, do you still talk to them on the phone. its ok to call them and just talk too- reconnect with them

i dont take painrelief unless absolutly neccessary. i generally take them as i cant take anti inflammatories anymore-stomach issues so just do what i can. pain however as stupid as it sounds is a trigger for my anxiety and depresion through my past (witness dv, sa myself, animal attack, bad horse falls, car accidents and emotional abuse) so pain to me signals somethings wrong and i need to go into protect mode. bugs my sisters and mum alot when i become abit over the top. but the dont know much about my mh conditions at all.

the magnesium can take a little bit to get into the system and sometimes not noticeable until you do something and you find it doesnt hurt as much or you recover quickly.

at the chemist you can buy megnesium oil- made me itch so badly but they also have like a moisturiser with magneisum too and you rub it into your back and helps the muscles that way too.

hows today treating you?

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 11:18:30 GMT

Hey starts, how's your hand? How did you break it? Hope it doesn't cause you too much stress. Also hope it isn't your writing hand 😬

Chloe x

Exhausted

JanieN — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 03:17:32 GMT

Hi startingnew

Please don't apologize, I completely understand. I'm sorry to hear about your hand, I hope it heals fast :(.
I myself have been limiting my internet time to see if it will do any good, it hasn't really but I'm still trying. I can't pull myself out of my head.

It doesn't sound stupid at all that your pain causes anxiety because I'm the same. It's all one horrible cycle.
I'll definitely try the magnesium next week when I get paid again :).

I actually got dressed and left the house for about 20mins to walk and get milk, felt light headed the entire time, just tried eating some toast and my stomach wouldn't let me finish it. Still, feeling slightly better than yesterday.

How are you doing?

Exhausted

JanieN — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 03:19:25 GMT

Hi Chloe

I just can't seem to pull myself out of my head and stop these negative thoughts about things that probably won't even happen. It's frustrating.

I hope you're doing ok?

Exhausted

Ggrand — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 07:46:08 GMT

Hello Janie,

I'm sorry your struggling with negative thoughts.

I very often have the same struggles, when they start coming which is nearly always, I try to distract my negativity by doing something to distract myself, I will try anything from playing internet games, the ones which need a lot of concentration, ie: solitaire, Alphabetty, mahjong , or I will read a book, do some colouring, just something to stop those negative thoughts for as long as I can..

Bed time is the worse, that's when I lay down they are really full on. I will do some meditation and listen to some calming instrumental with my ear plugs in and select one instrument and follow that instrument only right through the song..

Also when anxiety hits hard deep breathing count in for 5..hold it then out for 5.. Ithey do help and I was wondering if you have given any type of distraction a try..it might help you. .

I hope I have been of even a little help for you Janie,

Please always be kind and gentle to yourself, and remember how important you are to others.

Kind thoughts,

Grandy.

Exhausted

Chloe_M — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 10:47:22 GMT

Hi Janie, I'm okay, not really feeling anything at the moment...

hope you feel better x