topic In a funk - not excited about anything in Anxiety

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Wed, 30 May 2018 20:39:34 GMT

Hi everyone,

For the past week I have felt deflated, dreading going to work and I have this heaviness in my chest. I am seeing a psychologist and do get anxiety and depression. I guess I just wanted to unload here a little and ask if anyone is feeling the same way or has in the past and what strategies you used?

In a funk - not excited about anything

kanga_brumby — Wed, 30 May 2018 20:49:34 GMT

Hi booklover what works for me is music. Listening to music something lite and easy or humorous. With me it comes and goes fairly regular give it a try

Kanga

In a funk - not excited about anything

Peppermintbach — Wed, 30 May 2018 20:55:45 GMT

Hi Booklover,

You do sound like you’re feeling rather flat, unmotivated and disconnected. I, along with many other people, can relate to those feelings.

I personally find going “back to basics”, so to speak, personally helpful. I think when I’m struggling, it’s easy to neglect basic things that can potentially improve my mental health. This includes regular exercise (it could be something really simple), trying my best to eat a balanced diet, making sure that I attend all my appointments, this isn’t always easy but trying not to isolate myself (I struggle with this one at times), acknowledging any achievements or steps (not matter how small they might seem), etc.

Otherwise, I feel there are 2 threads that you might find helpful. You can type the titles in the search bar on the BeyondBlue website to find them.

Self help tips for managing depression (it’s also pinned at the top of the Depression forum)

Self help tips for managing anxiety (you can also find it pinned at the top of the Anxiety forum)

I hope this helps a little as I know you’re struggling...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Wed, 30 May 2018 21:30:41 GMT

Hi Kanga,

Thank you, I will try that 😊

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Wed, 30 May 2018 21:34:44 GMT

Hi Pepper,

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I will make sure I do some sort of exercise today. It is easy for me too to neglect things that may improve my mental health. I think mental health is like that - it makes you flat or anxious or whatever but also makes it very hard for you to think clearly and remember that there are things that may help.

Thank you for all of your suggestions.

In a funk - not excited about anything

Peppermintbach — Wed, 30 May 2018 21:52:15 GMT

Hi Booklover,

It’s lovely to hear from you again. You write with such a caring tone...

You’re most welcome too. I personally think your exercise plans for today is a fantastic idea. Every step is deserving of acknowledgement 🙂

Yes, I find it can be so easy to let basics fall to the wayside when I’m struggling too so I get where you’re coming from. All the best with exercising today.

Please feel free to write any time to ask for suggestions, chat or just to unload some feelings.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

In a funk - not excited about anything

White_Rose — Wed, 30 May 2018 22:08:53 GMT

Dear Booklover

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I saw your name and thought I must answer someone who is obviously a lovely person. What do you read? I have found when my depression decides to have a party I cannot read more than a page or two. Concentration totally lost. Do you find this also? I get audio books from the library. I need to do something with my hands so I knit or sew. It soothes me when I do this and pushes the depression away just a bit.

Pepper has pointed you to threads that were started some time but still get added to. Quite a library of tips.

Your feelings are shared by most, if not everyone, who manages their depression. One of the ways I manage is to think of depression as the Black Dog, a name that was coined by Winston Churchill we are told. Teaching the dog some manners is the objective, not allowing it to jump all over you, to walk to heel and stop barking which drowns out all the good things you are doing.

Have you had a look around this site? If not go to The Facts tab at the top of the page and explore the information there on depression and anxiety. I also recommend a small book called Living with IT by Bev Aisbett. IT is anxiety in her book but it applies just as well to depression. Takes about half an hour to read straight through. I took much longer the first time as there was so much I related to. I have found psychologists and psychiatrists keep a copy in the their rooms quite often. It's one of those books that comes under light reading but with hidden depths.

I have learned to talk about my depression to various people. I went to a psychiatrist 17 years ago and could hardly get a word out. Eventually I started talking about myself but it took time. Talking to others was even more difficult but I did take some people into my confidence. It's about breaking down the barriers between you and the world instead of putting on a mask and admitting no one. Many people find they manage more easily by talking.

Do you have a family and close friends? It may be helpful to talk to them.

Have you been seeing the psychologist for long? Can you tell us a bit about yourself? I am a mother to four children and grandma to eight. I separated from my husband 18 years ago and live on my own. Going to work was a life saver as it allowed me to concentrate on something other than myself. I meditate although this can be difficult at times. Too many distractions and unwanted thoughts. It helps even in the less uplifting times.

Mary

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Thu, 31 May 2018 08:03:13 GMT

Hi Pepper,

Thank you. It is lovely to hear from you again too. I did some yoga today and it made such a difference. It was holding a pose for a few minutes and meditating at the same time. I highly recommend it.

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Thu, 31 May 2018 08:13:41 GMT

Hi Mary,

Thank you for your lovely message. I read mostly fiction but lately I have been reading “Rewiring your anxious brain” which is a great read with practical tips. Sometimes when I am reading my mind does wander off but sometimes it soothes my mind. A good fiction book that I love will do that for me. One of my problems with my anxiety is believing I can do something, that I can challenge myself. I am a perfectionist. With depression, I generally feel flat and deflated. I like that you mentioned the term “black dog.” I had wondered where that came from.

I find it hard to talk to people but slowy getting better. I have been seeing my psychologist for a few months now. It has helped a lot. I find it easier to talk to a stranger, though she knows me pretty well now. Lol.

Good on you for going to work after your seperation. That must have been a really hard time.

Thank you for your message and the book advice. I will read it.

In a funk - not excited about anything

White_Rose — Thu, 31 May 2018 10:21:48 GMT

Hello Booklover

Great to hear from you. Yoga, now that's something I have not tried. I know many people swear by it but I am certain I could not achieve the poses. Horses for courses. How are you on exercise? My GP suggested I go to gym and I talked to the Exercise Physiologist there. I went to a weekly class but as time went on I found I could manage the routine on my own, so I still attended the gym but worked on my exercise regime on my own and met up with the Ex Phys every month or so. It made a tremendous difference to my fitness but I hated it. What kept me going was that I had paid for these sessions and was not about to lose my money.

I have discovered that paying for something up front means I am more likely yo stick with it. I think that applies to many things we put off doing until later. Now I try and give myself an incentive or reward if I do something good for myself. And surprisingly I do not cheat. Worth double reward do you think?

It's funny with talking. I can talk to anyone on a superficial level, chat about the weather, discuss practically anything that is not personal or revealing. A bit of a joke and pass on smoothly to the next bit of trivia. So easy but never building any rapport and perhaps missing out on a friendship that we both would enjoy. Getting much better these days and willing to reveal a little about myself. Still a work in progress.

Has you read anything on neuroplasticity? This is about the changes we can make in the brain. We are hardwired at birth, well before really, to have various tendencies for example I invariably take the worst case scenario. Neuroplasticity shows how you can make new pathways, positive pathways in order to move forward. I will not try to explain it because I don't know enough. Ask Mr Google, he usually has a perspective. I read a book called The Brain that Changes Itself which told me the whys and wherefores. It may be worth looking at and learning how you can change your point of view.

Being a perfectionist is painful. In reality nothing is ever completed to your satisfaction which keeps your mind pinned down to a small area of thought and how you can do better. All the wonderfulness of life passes by because it is not perfect. Nothing is perfect or at least not for long as someone else will find fault. All we can do is accept who and what we are, give anything our best shot and then move on. Yep, been there, got the tee shirt. I am not perfect but I try quite hard. Talk more later.

Mary

In a funk - not excited about anything

quirkywords — Thu, 31 May 2018 10:32:30 GMT

Booklover,

I too liked your name and wanted to read your thread. I have a bookshop so naturally I am a. Booklover too.

You have received some helpful replies and interesting comments.

I find music , movement and audio books, or podcasts helpful when I find it hard to read.

I have been reading about the neuroplasticity of the brain like White Rose has mentioned.

I also read books about memory except I keep forgetting where I put my book on memory- sad but true!!

Do you find yourself doubting your ability to do things? I think just having a go, taking a plunge will give you confidence.

Quirky

In a funk - not excited about anything

Peppermintbach — Thu, 31 May 2018 22:55:22 GMT

Hi Booklover,

I find you very inspiring with your proactive approach to manage your mental and physical wellbeing 🙂 I keep thinking that I might like to try some yoga classes.

I’m very, very happy to hear yoga is helping you. Keep doing it if it helps. Also, it’s lovely to see the wonderful support from others here like Kanga, Mary and Quirky. Thanks for being part of the forum family and community, Booklover!

Kind and caring thoughts.

Pepper

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 21:17:20 GMT

Hi Mary,

Nice to hear from you again. Yoga can be really difficult. I am not good at the poses at all but you can start with easier poses (like I have done) which are poses like lying down with your leg in the air at 90 degrees or sitting up with a sort of twist to the side. I don’t achieve all the poses, I just have a go. I am not that into the gym either but I go sometimes. I have read a little on neuroplasticity - it’s fascinating. It is painful being a perfectionist. It is so hard to change though.

Hope you are doing ok.

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 21:47:19 GMT

Hi Quirky,

That’s amazing that you own a bookshop! I have worked in one before and loved it.

Yes, I frequently doubt my ability to do things. I try to do things anyway but it is hard.

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 21:51:38 GMT

Hi Pepper,

It’s nice to hear from you again. Thank you. I am not always proactive believe me. Probably like a lot of people on here, I struggle with my anxiety on some days more than others. It just depends. Yoga is good though, I listen to meditative music whilst doing it which is relaxing.

Hope you are doing ok.

In a funk - not excited about anything

White_Rose — Wed, 06 Jun 2018 05:03:40 GMT

Hello Booklover

How are you going? You wrote above.

I think mental health is like that - it makes you flat or anxious or whatever but also makes it very hard for you to think clearly and remember that there are things that may help.

You have put your finger on the right spot. Anxiety and Depression are both guaranteed to play with your mind. How to recognise this and take steps to keep going is the question. You actually started with this question and I am wondering if we have been any help. It's easy for anyone to say do this or that and it's equally difficult for the person concerned. Making plans is one thing, actually carrying them out is a whole new adventure.

I have activities that require me to be somewhere at specified times and in general I get there. Some of these activities are related to volunteering while some are just for me. Me activities are going to church on Sunday, meditating as part of a group and on my own, member of a book club and monthly meetings with the meditation group for discussions on whatever we choose. I like this one very much. At home I embroider and knit.

I believe it is important that we all have activities that are meeting our needs and those I have mentioned do that. The problem is one you have mentioned, motivation. I know I enjoy doing these things yet it can be so hard to get up and out. Excuses like it's raining, it's hot, I'm tired, something good on TV. I'm sure you get the drift.

I have been at one of my volunteer places all morning. I am a bit tired but not enough to need sleep. I can write to you and others on BB. All OK so far though it was chilly this morning and I really could have gone back to bed. Tonight is my meditation group which I find very helpful and enjoy. So how do I make myself go there? It sounds like a no-brainer. Just go because you will enjoy yourself and it's good for you.

I keep in the forefront of my mind that meditation starts at 7:00pm and keep referring to it by checking I have time to do other things, what time I need to leave. All very basic I suspect but it helps to create that expectation that I am going out regardless of anything else. I can always record TV programs. Keeping my mind focused on where I am going is a great help and I often remind myself how guilty I will feel staying at home, unless I am ill.

How does this strike you? Useful?

Mary

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 03:26:31 GMT

Hi Mary,

Thank you very much for your message. I have been feeling a lot better these past few days. A lot more positive. That’s great that you have set activities you go to every week. I think a routine is good. What you were saying about reminding yourself to go to various activities is really good and positive. I am sure, like me you may get in a funk sometimes and not want to go anywhere but going anyway can be a positive. I am getting better at changing my thought patterns. The way I have done that today is by asking myself - if I think in this way I will just feel bad and it won’t help me.

I hope you are having a good day.

In a funk - not excited about anything

White_Rose — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:56:17 GMT

Hello Booklover

A positive post, congratulations. As John Denver used to sing, "Some days are diamonds, some days are stone". Great self-talk making positive statements. For this to become as automatic as possible you need to practice this skill. There will probably be days when the negative talk will swamp the other unless you are tuning in to the positive thoughts.

I missed church yesterday because I could not get out of bed and I like going to church. If it was going shopping I would find it easy to stay home. Not keen on shopping. Not keen on company today but needed to return library books and get groceries, so I made the effort. And of course I felt happier with more energy by the time I returned home. Even better, I was able to welcome my study group this afternoon.

And I wondered why I allowed these negative thoughts to stay with me when I knew full well how to get rid of them. Truly we can be self-sabotaging at times. I am also learning to forgive myself. I had the habit of telling myself how stupid I was. Nothing like a self-fulfilling prophecy. All these sneaky little tricks the black dog puts into our minds via depression. We need to be on the alert to spot these tricks before they become ingrained.

We all have our methods of putting ourselves down, but thankfully we can also encourage and reward ourselves.

Mary

In a funk - not excited about anything

Booklover17 — Wed, 13 Jun 2018 21:27:31 GMT

Hi Mary,

I am glad you got out of the house and felt better. We can definitely be self-sabotaging. I also do this. I try to remind myself not to, but as you probably know, feeling better is a fight and it is so easy to just keep going down the same negative path. I guess I have to remind myself that even though it’s a fight now, the rewards will come later when I feel better.

I hope you are feeling ok today.