topic Newbie thats always anxious in Anxiety

Newbie thats always anxious

Marcus_Stoinus — Thu, 21 Feb 2019 21:28:44 GMT

So im 28 years old, ive had anxiety for as long as i can remember and i feel like its having a massive impact on my relationship and friendships. With my relationship my partner currently lives with me and supports my anxiety, depression and BPD, but i feel that if i discuss it with her to much it will push her away, she tells me she loves everything about me but there is always this fear that she will find someone or something "better" and this scares the shit out of me, im hoping that this girl is the last one but i can't shake this feeling. She hasn't done or said anything to make me think this in the slightest but i think because i think she is amazing in everyway but don't see it in myself that she deserves better. Trying to type this out and its making me anxious whilst at work. What things have you guys done to help ease your anxiety? Ive been on multiple medications and so far nothing, i play sports and work so my mind is active but i just want to be able to have a healthy relationship without adding unnecessary strain to it, i want her to go out have fun without sitting at home stressing that ive been forgotten about. I feel ridiculous for feeling this way but i cant shake it and it just drives me insane. Thank you

Newbie thats always anxious

blondguy — Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:44:45 GMT

Hi Marcus Stoinus

Welcome and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I understand what you are going through as I used to have chronic anxiety for 15 years and whether you anxiety is mild or acute this is still a horrible set of feelings to have Marcus. If your anxiety is having an effect on your day to day quality of life then counseling will help you find some.

Anxiety feelings (symptoms) do reduce over time with frequent counseling and meds if prescribed

Can I ask if you have panic attacks? (just so we can help support you more effectively!)

you are not alone Marcus.....I hope you can post back when its convenient for you 🙂

The forums are a judgemental free and safe place for you to post too

my kind thoughts

Paul

Newbie thats always anxious

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 22 Feb 2019 22:54:15 GMT

Hi Marcus Stoinus,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here. Kudos to you for typing this all out at work even with your anxiety; that's not an easy thing to do!

So it sounds like you've been struggling with anxiety for a while, but meds haven't helped - you play sports but it only kinda helps but mostly you're worried about the strain it's having on your relationship with your partner - have I got that right?

I just want to let you know too that those thoughts about her finding someone better is actually super common. I have an anxiety disorder too (amongst other things heh) and have definitely struggled with that. I think the hardest part with this is that we actually can't fix it - even the healthiest relationships and #couplegoals can end. So for me (and maybe for you) I think it comes down to trusting that you and her are okay, and that she's very interested in you and not looking for anyone better.

One of the techniques people can do in therapy is CBT or ACT - and both of them can include looking at your thoughts, challenging them or just noticing that the thoughts don't really have any power of you. They're just thoughts - and the vast majority of the time they're automatic and not true. Not sure if this is interests you or not but it can help a lot with anxiety.