topic New job in Anxiety

New job

Haitchy — Mon, 20 Nov 2017 01:46:28 GMT

Hi Folks. New to this forum.

I have suffered from anxiety for a few years on and off now. It came about after an abusive relationship and more recently my fathers sudden death.

I left a long term job recently - it was an unhealthy environment for myself and many others but that being said, I was comfortable with the work and in my comfort zone. Importantly, I was really good at my job.

Ive just started a new job. The environment is quite high pressure and I'm struggling a bit with learning new and very unfriendly software.

I've had a little training but I'm there alone effectively and trying to do my best.

Im finding that I'm getting quite frazzled when it's busy and I've made a couple of mistakes.

I'm trying to tell myself that this is normal but the brain is saying I'm useless and the people around me will think I am too.

ive actually started to dread going there - it starts when I wake up on the days I'm working with 'that feeling' in my chest.

Any advice on how to deal with this much appreciated.

New job

quirkywords — Mon, 20 Nov 2017 02:48:14 GMT

Haitchy

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for taking the step to open up and share your story.

I am sure many people will be able to relate to this.

You have just started a new job which rates high on stressors in one's life.

It would be expected than when you begin a new job you will make mistakes, have questions, feel a bit frazzled at times. I would say that means you are hardworking and conscientious .

Then the cycle starts as you feel you aren't doing your new work well then that leads to you dreading going to work which leads to you getting frazzled.

Is there someone you can ask for help and explain you just needs some ideas so you will be able to perform your job without struggling?

When anyone starts a new job there is a period where you need guidance while you get used to the new environment and the new work.

This is the time you need to ask for help and I am sure once things are explained you won't be struggling. Everyone was new once and probably felt like you do now.

Quirky

New job

Haitchy — Mon, 20 Nov 2017 03:16:24 GMT

Thanks for the warm welcome Quirky.

I did ask for some additional training and they provided an extra session but I think they believe I should have had enough by now.

The work isn't difficult (nothing I haven't done before), it's just I'm quite slow using the software and that's what's doing my head in.

New job

Chloe90 — Wed, 11 Jul 2018 12:16:58 GMT

Hi Haitchy,

jusy wondering how everything went with your new job.

I’m in a similar situation after leaving a job in an unhealthy environment for what I thought I could handle. Only it’s completely tipped my anxiety over. The people are lovely I’m only 1 week in but don’t know how much longer I can last feeling like this.

i really hope it all worked out for you though!!

Chloe 😊

New job

Nervybella — Sat, 27 Jul 2019 09:29:12 GMT

Hi Chloe and Haitchy

i know this thread is a bit old now. But I would love to hear how you both went. I’m about a week into a new job and not loving it at all! Anxiety has flared up massively

i left a job I was good at and comfortable in because there was talk of being made redundant. So I thought I should get ahead of the game and be proactive... now I’m worried I made the wrong choice.

Has as anyone left a job within 2 weeks of starting? How did you deal with it all?

bella. X

New job

Nicole73 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 00:50:26 GMT

Hi Bella,

I found your post because I was searching about anxiety with a new job. I quit my last job after 1 week as it didn't feel right and my anxiety was through the roof. I believe I did the right thing as the job was not for me, but at the same time I am now even more anxious about starting a new job as I'm scared the same thing is going to happen. I am currently applying for jobs and it looks like that I am on track to have an interview for a job that I have applied for. Every time I think about it my stomachs goes in knots and I get light headed. I had a good stable job for over 8 years and I was very good at it and comfortable in the position. There was not a lot of stress in the job itself however the work environment was toxic due to people I worked with. In the end, I only left because I relocated towns. That's when I applied for the job I got and quit after the 1 week. I'm not sure I can give you any advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I think you have done great getting to two weeks. Do you think the work and the workplace is ok and it is just your anxiety flaring up? If so, I reckon stick it out a little longer (if you can) and see if things settle down. However, if in your gut you feel that you are in the wrong job, then sometimes, it's better to get out for the better of your health. I would love to know how the past couple of days have gone?

New job

Nervybella — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 01:48:06 GMT

Hey Nicole

thank you so much for replying. Sounds like we have been in very similar positions

good on you for applying still and getting interviews!

the last couple days have not been good for me. I’ve had a couple of panic attacks and have not gone into work today. Seeing my GP soon to hopefully get a new referral to a psych or something.

My gut is telling me to get out. The job itself is not what I imagined and seems pretty dull. The culture of the company - while portrayed to be things like all inclusive, young and fun actually in real life seems to be all CONSUMING, young and crazy. Not the lifestyle I am after. People said to me, “you know this job is your life now right?” Just the other day and it made me feel sick

I need balance in my life and I don’t think this role will allow it...

New job

Nicole73 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 03:57:44 GMT

Oh Bella, I'm sorry to hear that things are still not going great. When I read "you know this job is your life now right?" my heart just sank for you. Your job should never be your life (well, in my opinion). Of course it will be a big part of your life (let's face it...not many of us can be financial enough to not have to work), but there needs to be a balance.

The job I quit after a week had a few triggering things for me. Every month they would have a 'party night' and it would involve a night out with dinner and drinks with just work colleagues (partners were not invited). I'm not a big fan of this sort of thing (in fact I hate this sort of thing) and when I do go out, I like to take my husband with me. Lots of little things reinforced that the job was not for me such as this (plus other things like them expecting too much too soon, people not even introducing themselves or saying hello, my supervisors not even saying hello or acknowledging me after being there for 2 days...and they had to walk past me to their desks. When my supervisors did approach me, they spoke 'about me' like I was invisible and just spoke to the person training me). Don't get me wrong, I know part of my decision was my anxiety talking rather than my sense of reason, but I'm still glad I left and trying to find something that fits my personality better. Many don't understand as they don't struggle with every day things that I do, but I'm pleased for myself that I made the decision I did. And...I have also learnt from it. Follow your gut I say...if it truly doesn't feel right (rather than just your anxiety rearing it's ugly head), then that is a good indication that perhaps the job is not for you. But then again, others may say just hang in there for a bit longer and see if it gets better. It certainly is a hard decision and I understand exactly where you are at. Keep me posted and let me know how you go and what you eventually decide.

New job

Nervybella — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:46:41 GMT

Hey Nicole

i totally agree. I like to have division between my personal and work life.

Can I ask, how long ago you quit your job? Have you been able to find more work since?

I think it’s good you were able to see the triggers early. I’m trying to keep an open mind but there are lots of red flags popping up...

also not helping, I can’t get into see my regular Psych until SEPTEMBER!!! Just crazy and feeling at a massive loss and panic now as I just really needed to talk this out with someone.

New job

Nicole73 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 22:19:24 GMT

Bella, I quit my job around 1 month ago. I had to give myself at least a week or so before I starting applying for jobs again as the whole thing rattled me (and still does a bit, but I'm one that needs to keep on going in fear of getting too far down and not being able to get back up again). I have been selectively applying for jobs which, although they are not 'perfect', but I think might be better than the last. And to be honest, when I get the 'sorry you are not successful' email, I am secretly deep down quite pleased...I know that sounds terrible. But saying that, I know I need a job and will keep applying. For me, I think I will also ask more questions in the interview stage and IF after all that AND I get offered a job, I know I have the right to say 'no' if it doesn't feel right again.

I'm sorry to hear that you can't get into your regular Psych, and how frustrating and isolating that must feel. I'm certainly not one who is authorised or qualified to give advice on the best way forward, but could you perhaps utilise the help lines that Beyond Blue offers? I know I have called them in the past and it has helped me. And I also get a lot of benefit from writing on these forums and having support from others who are going or have been through similar things.

New job

CoraC — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 11:23:09 GMT

Hi Bella

i left a job after only being there one week. The hours were really long, I had to keep cancelling things I'd organised outside of work because I was stuck there every night. I had a terrible handover. I realised no one had been doing the work for months and there was a huge, unfixible backlog. It was a mess. Added into the mix, lazy unhelpful colleagues and a poor culture. Could I have stuck at it and made some headway? Yes, but not without great expense to my health. I decided I'd been sold a dud and moved on. I felt really bad, and it was embarrassing when people asked how my new job was going...but I also felt cheated into taking a role that hadn't been described accurately. I was not in a great financial position so leaving was a tough call. It took me three weeks to find something else. By coincidence I met the person they employed after me and they too left after a very short time. I did feel better that my instinct was right as when we compared notes, our experiences had been identical. The advantage of leaving early was there wasn't a gap on my cv, I just don't include the one week role in there. It was really hard taking a leap of faith into the unknown but it would have been very unhealthy to stay.

New job

Nervybella — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 21:50:58 GMT

Hi Cora

I wonder if your old workplace started to see a pattern and did something about it? It’s sad how some companies just don’t see what impact they have on people

Are you liking this new job better?

yesterday I resigned from my job. I’ve had the last two days off work and spent that time speaking to my GP etc. they agreed that this didn’t look like the fit for me and commended me on knowing my trigger points. So I have to take that as a positive.

it was not easy having to ring my boss, but I did it and am pretty proud of myself that I was able to hold it together.

Now I just have to return the company property and I can start afresh.

New job

Nervybella — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 22:31:19 GMT

Hi again Cora

I forgot to ask... how did you handle telling people about your leaving? I’m worried what people will say or think when they find out...

Also in future interviews how do you explain why you’re not working currently? I usually say honesty is best but wouldn’t want to mention my mental health in an interview??

Sorry if this is too personal also 🙂

New job

JRRL — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 04:12:32 GMT

Hi Nervybella,

Finally I've found this thread that you've suggested. You can probably tell them that you just took a break from work and currently looking for a suitable role and you found this role that you think will be a perfect fit for you.

New job

JRRL — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 04:21:50 GMT

Hi CoraC,

I need some advise as well, our case are almost identical. I was made redundant from my previous job and I had to look for a new one immediately, I found my current one very quickly however the job is very overwhelming to say the least. No handover was done, training is very minimal and the CEO expects me to conduct and drive major stakeholders meeting on a weekly basis which goes way past working hours which is not in accordance to the role that I applied for.

My wife suggested to me to quit my job and take some rest because I haven't been unemployed since 2005 and never took any long annual leaves since 2013. my annual leave are mostly spent on medical appointments due to my diabetes and anxiety.

Long story short I handed my resignation on Monday and the company didn't took it very well. Now I am doubting if I made the right decision now.

New job

CoraC — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 21:38:01 GMT

Hi JRRL

i think the redundancy gives you a perfect reason as to why you're looking for work. You could just treat it as though you never started the other role. It is always hard to know if you've made the right decision, because you don't know what else might be out there, better or worse.

New job

CoraC — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 21:43:40 GMT

Hi Bella

strangely, no one asked me about why I wasn't working. I had a story ready which definitely ddidnt involve talking about mental health. But they just didn't ask.

i just told the previous workplace that the role was not what I expected. I wrote a professional resignation, wished them well. Wrote a long handover, told, them where everything was at. Thanks for the opportunity etc. this didn't stop them from being very critical of me leaving, as I found out later, but you can't control what people do. As long as you know youve been professional, this's all you can do.

New job

Here_I_am — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 22:19:11 GMT

Hey hey,

I find myself barreling toward what I believe will either be my resignation, a redundancy, or a swift deterioration of the relationship that could end with me being forced out. I find much of my day (on a stretch of personal leave for the past week) is spent frantically looking for other work and then worrying about whether I am in a state of mind to take on those roles or whether I could sustain the financial blow of a lesser paying job. I keep catastrophising the outcome, and in my mind I'm going to go in to work next week and within the hour I'll be unemployed... and the merry-go-round starts again.

Funny thing is I haven't even had any warnings or formal notifications that I'm not performing well; only a few conversations about differences of opinion/priority.

I've never felt so unsure about myself personally or professionally. My mind is stuck in the 'what if?' game ('what if you can't get another job?', 'what if you have a proper breakdown and have to go to hospital?', 'what if you're never the same again?', etc., etc.).

I mean, how does one reasonably stay on their feet with this anxiety album playing on repeat all the time?

New job

Nervybella — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:45:39 GMT

Hi Here I Am

you ask how people stay on their feet with anxiety. Honestly it can be difficult sometimes

I think the best thing I’ve done is seek professional help. I started by talking to my family, then a GP, then a psychologist.

Having a support network is so important. Have you, or do you feel like you could speak to your manager or HR department at work? Maybe they would be able to give you some feedback to put your mind at ease or offer some time to get yourself back on track? I know not all workplaces are approachable in these situations though

let us know how you get on

Bella

New job

Here_I_am — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 04:18:37 GMT

Hi Bella,

Thanks for your reply. Much appreciated.

My situation feels a little surreal. I am in what I believed was a supportive and functional workplace, but lately (the last month or so) it seems like they're getting their ducks in a row and I believe on some level that it won't matter what I bring to the table; they have made their mind up that I am not the right person for the role. I received a promotion in February, and things were going great until a month ago when their were some very abrupt changes in how I was being spoken to. I won't go into too much detail here, but suffice to say the atmosphere has become decidedly chilly in regard to the executive team (of which I'm a part) and their communication with me. I have had the last week off with sick leave as a direct result of my increased (and very new and unexpected) anxiety over the ambiguity of it all, and just today they have asked me to complete with my Doctor a return to work clearance. They've never required this of anyone else, and we've had some significant personnel issues with under-performers over the past year. I believe I am being treated differently, and feel it will end with me not working their either on my terms or theirs.

My biggest lingering anxiety issue is about how I could reasonably start a new job whilst feeling like this - not sleeping great, had some dark night a week or so ago where death seemed like a good idea, and generally feeling vulnerable and not my usual self. Will I be going from one situation that feels untenable to another that will be stressful anyway, and how will I manage with that new stress (less money, more work with a new job, etc.)?

I've never felt like this before. It's really knocked me for six.