topic G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support. in Anxiety

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 10:49:50 GMT

Where to begin. I guess I'll just start with my condition that made me sign up here today. I've been having trouble eating. For about a month now. Now, this isn't the 1st time this has happened to me, infact it's the 4th by my count, the 1st event like this being what lead me to being diagnosed with Anxiety.

So it's a very mixed feeling, knowing that I've beaten this before, certainly under worse conditions (Cyclone Marcia in '15 left us without power for about a week, that absolutely shattered me but again, I made it and I'm here still.) From what I can tell what set me off this time was losing our phone line and internet for a few days when I was already feeling a bit down. So that happened about a month ago, only lasted a few days but by the time I could get back to my regular distractions and habits for dealing with my anxiety I was already quite severe. No appetite, upset that after going so long (about a year and a half of being on the 'offensive', so to say, with my anxiety) to learn that I can still arbitrarily be brought down to what I consider my worst really hurts. I kept a journal last time I was this bad though, and I am updating it daily again. I find it helps. Sorry if I'm veering all over the place here, I'll get to the core of my post now.

Basically each day I wake up awash with dread. I'll be lying in bed calmly but as soon as my brain acknowledges that I need to get up I start to feel the tenseness, gagging often, up till lately it would lead to expelling phlegm quite painfully before I even left the bed. Thankfully lately, possibly through the help of an app on my phone called Smiling Mind, I've been more calm in the mornings but I still dread food. Every time I look at the clock I see how long it's been since I've eaten and how long till I need to eat again. Everytime I feel something in my body I assume it's food related, that I'm hungry, that I'm about to be sick, that I'll need a trip to the bathroom. Yet thus far it's been none, besides upping my food only twice in the time I've been like this. So when I got bad enough to start writing in my journal again I was eating a banana, chicken soup, and a frozen meat pie. I was never a big eater but to think I thought I was bad then when now I string through the day on snacks, scared of each one, though a little less as each individual day goes on. Somedays I can have more than just snacks (that I eat slowly.) But I still wake every day terrified of the food to come. I'll elaborate more.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 11:15:06 GMT

"So when I got bad enough to start writing in my journal again I was eating a banana, chicken soup, and a frozen meat pie." I was comfortable with this amount of food and improving on the other parts of my mood and mental being. But then 1 day I got particularly bad, I woke earlier than usual to see the Dr, ate on the way home then went back to bed, causing my normal "morning" nausea later to make me up food, which then freaked me out (as food was already hard to eat) I then expelled a lot more, a scary amount. This happened again later that day and has brought me to what I survive on for the last week or so. Just purely snacks, primarily bananas, since I can cut them up into smaller pieces and take a bit at a time while doing something else, not rushing myself. (This is similar to how I was in my journal that I'm trying to mimic.) Sometimes chicken cup soup, rarely finishing it before it's cold, if at all. Sometimes a party sized chocolate thing with the individual wrapping. I went shopping two days ago and got more food that can be had like this slow, relaxed method. I got yoghurt, I was looking for 'plain' yoghurt at the suggestion of a friend but ended up with Vanilla and it is very strong for me. Still I ate most of it. I got some "Uglies", little school food sized packs of chocolate chip biscuits. Some museli bars that are not as nice as I remember as a kid but hopefully have enough protein and energy to keep me relatively healthy if I can manage to eat the nasty things.

I can search all I want for "good foods to eat when feeling nausea" online but when my anxiety is really brought on by food it's tough to find answers suited to me, especially when I'm asking for specific brands and names here. I'm hoping this website being Australian in nature will make any reccomendations for easy to eat, segmental (healthy but hopefully mostly bland tasting, yet easy to stomach) food or snacks easier to find. Sometimes I do feel up to a bigger meal but thus far I'm just too afraid. Last night I did have a full packet of chicken noodles which made me so happy, but I can't force this.

Which brings me to my other reason for posting. I have been meaning to turn my awake and asleep times around but as I mentioned earlier, I generally begin to feel more calm and happy as the day goes on. This makes the eventual bedtime hard to resign to and likely the late nights are what's making it so damn hard to leave bed in the morning. Tips for getting out of bed in the morning?

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:07:23 GMT

Hypersleep said: I'll elaborate more.

Well I left a huge reply elaborating and it's not here. Hopefully it's still being moderated and will appear, I have too much spare time to think about this so it's kind of worrying me. Also I realize I didn't actually introduce myself much. Assuming this comment appears I will!

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Guest_9809 — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:28:08 GMT

Hi Hypersleep, and welcome to the Forums.

Sorry you havent had a reply as yet, I suspect nobody quite knows what to say, myself included. However I didnt want you to think you hadnt been heard. Please be assured that you have .... but I am just baffled as to how I can help you.

Judging from your comment, it sounds as though you have a post being help up for now. It will likely come through in the morning.

I look forward to reading more information as it comes through. I have you tagged now, so will get back to you once I know more. I feel sure that others will also come on board with advice and support once they know a little more about your situation, and how they can assist you. I know you will find the community here to be very helpful and supportive.

Catch you again tomorrow.

Taurus

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 15:04:08 GMT

Introducing myself though. Well I love media. Music, art, film, games. All of which help me cope, but sometimes it's easy to stick to even more familiar things in those mediums and not branch out due to an almost superstitious anxiety. (Afraid to 'soil' things that bring me joy with current feelings of nausea.) I'm 21 years old, I don't drink alcohol and I've never done any kind of drugs personally. I even tried to stave off any anti depressants till I got really bad because I'd prefer to stay natural. Hoping to avoid any future withdrawal and dependence on such things. Even when I'm this bad I try not to let my anxiety define who I am. I try do the same things I would've done had I been feeling fine and still strive to make progress. Usually rewarding myself with food for doing new things but funny enough that's not really an option right now.

Hypersleep said: I was eating a banana, chicken soup, and a frozen meat pie.

So basically for about a week I survived on this kind of diet, and I felt happy enough to focus my efforts on improving my mental headspace back to what it was. I'm not a very active person so I don't need a whole lot of food generally. But I've gotten a little worse so now I string by on snacks. My diet has never been particularly great, but it was a full diet.

Question 1: I'm wondering if anyone else has been through something like this and has any suggestions for food that I can slowly eat in small portions. Healthy food is welcome but preferably nothing that's too hard to stomach, be it too bitter or too sweet. I've checked online myself for this and some of the suggestions help, but they aren't specific or localized to Australia.

Question 2: I tend to feel more calm and able to eat easier as the day goes on. Whether this is my medication kicking in or things quieting down as people go to bed. This leads to me staying up pretty late at night. Which is fine for now, eating takes priority over healthy sleeping periods. But the past 2 days I've been really fighting to get out of bed. It has been cold and honestly I love snuggling up in bed under the cold, but at the same time I'll never slowly turn my clock around if I keep on setting alarms I don't keep.

P.S: Thanks. Yeah I kind of front loaded it, haha. Just spoke to some people from the hospital today so it's kind of fresh on my mind. I really appreciate it though, I look forward to telling people my story and helping others on this forum. Cheers!

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Guest_9809 — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 02:23:51 GMT

Hello again Hyper. Okay, so your post which was previously help up, has now come through, which sheds a little more light on your situation. Thanks for that.

Admittedly I am still quite unable to make any informed suggestions at this stage. Have you tried Sustagen yet? It is a good food supplement which will provide necessary nutrients to keep you physically healthy during a time where you are perhaps not getting sufficient elsewhere in your diet. So it could be worth trying.

But I must leave other suggestions to others who may have more insight than I do. Hopefully by posting here now it will bring your thread to the attention of other members here.

I see that your have updated your profile picture. What a gorgeous little dog! Perhaps you would be interested in another thread here which is located in the Staying Well section of these Forums. It is what we affectionately call "The Pet Thread", and I have actually just come from there after posting on it myself. There are some lovely stories there from pet lovers, so you would be most welcome to contribute something there as well. Pets are very important in our lives when it comes to keeping ourselves well, connected and happy.

If you are interested I will give you the address here for you to cut and paste to your browser.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/pets---helping-you-through-tough-times-and-keeping-you-well

I hope others will come to your aid Hyper, but in the meantime please browse other threads here and feel free to contribute to any existing thread that interests you, or which you have input into. You will be welcomed warmly by other members.

Wishing you the best.

Taurus

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 08:44:34 GMT

Thanks for the reply again. It's hard to shake the urge of wanting to wake up to a bunch of replies that all help. Or in general just wanting to come across some miracle fix one day. Do you think it's worth me moving the body of my post to the anxiety part of the forums? Or will people find it here and help me?

I will check out the thread too. I love my dog so much. But sometimes I do get sad, only lately she reminds me of all the things I can't do sometimes. Ugh. Sorry I need to shake out the bad feelings and focus on the good. It's hard to say exactly what got me out of this feeling the previous times, but it's safe to say it's a mixture of everything I did. Including being happily greeted by my little Picolo each time I arrived back home and all the times I see her sit in my doorway awaiting acknowledgement to come in and lick my feet raw as I'm on my computer.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Mellows — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 10:29:42 GMT

Hi Hypersleep!

It sounds like you're doing it pretty tough at the moment. The more anxious you get, the harder it is to eat. Sorry to hear you're going through this, it can steal a lot of joy from your life.

I want to ask you if your fear of eating is actually linked to a fear of nausea or vomiting?

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I could not eat out at all! I was deathly afraid of getting food poisoning and vomiting (it actually has a name - emetophobia). I could only eat food that I had prepared and cooked very, very well. I stuck to vegetables a lot because I felt they would be the least likely to make me sick. I have since read that rice is a good food for settling a troubled tummy. This may be something you could try on it's own at first and then maybe start adding more nutritious and bland foods with it when the anxiety subsides.

I would be interested in hearing back from you regarding my question earlier in this post.

I just want to add that just persevere, you will get through this. It will end one day and you will be stronger and wiser! And when or if it comes back again you will be better equipped to deal with it. It's going to be ok

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Mellows — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 10:31:31 GMT

Oh my gosh! I forgot to mention in my earlier post just how completely adorable your little dog is!!!!!!

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 11:43:44 GMT

Mellows said:The more anxious you get, the harder it is to eat.

Indeed! It's quite a vicious circle. I'm worried about not being able to eat then worrying makes it harder to eat and it's just crazy. At the start of my day if I could just be set on a course and know I'll eat and be fine I'd be so more relaxed but I spend every waking moment looking at the clock petrified of my next meal/snack. Plus it's not like I can just say 'it's okay to miss a feed, I'm not feeling it now' because that'll just make the next one harder and more important, increasing the stress related to it. It's hard to say lately in response to your question. Lately, I've been handling gagging and nausea symptoms quite well, but it's like I'm worried if I eat and get sick that I'll break my streak of not throwing up almost. It's more like food just reminds me of the complications it can represent, and my struggles with it in the past. A friend in another chat room questioned the link between the two, I can't remember it exactly but I think we decided it was. I'm asking him and will reply later if he remembers.

That is an interesting ailment- emetophobia. On the surface it sounds similar for me, but I'm more worried about eating something that would make me sick because my anxiety would set off something in my brain and I'd avoid that food for so long as I remember it making me sick. When my appetite is already stretched so thin the last thing I need is less options to eat. I will absolutely look into that though, could be helpful information. Does it come and go?

Thank you so much for your reply aswell, I was so happy to see another person respond and your words of inspiration too. At the end of every day I do feel confident, calm and keen but each day I have to restart my mood and fight to feel confident again, so every message like that helps. I'll let my doggy know she's got a fan. 🙂 She's got her little winter coat now and just a little of her fringe covers her eyes. I love it. If you want to read more about her I made a post about her in the pet thread by Taurus, found at:

/ staying-well / pets---helping-you-through-tough-times-and-keeping-you-well

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Guest_9809 — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 12:48:34 GMT

Hello again Hyper. I see you found your way to the Pet Thread, and posted a lovely post about little Picolo.

With regards to moving your Intro thread to the Anxiety section - no, I suspect it would not make much difference to the number of responders. I think it just happens to be a difficult post for people to respond to. I feel that if anyone has any helpful advice, they will find you here. As is evidenced by the fact that a new member has already posted a reply to you this afternoon.

Hello Mellows and thankyou for offering some very helpful insight here. Your input is much appreciated and will hopefully be of benefit to Hyper. I also note that this is your first (and second) post - so I will extend to you a very warm welcome to the Forums. Would you like to open your own introduction thread and tell us a bit more about yourself? Perhaps someone here can be of assistance to you, just like you have been to Hyper. I will keep a look out for you around the Forums in the hope that you will stick around.

Taurus

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 14:51:47 GMT

I noticed this too, I'm flattered your first posts were to me Mellows. Hopefully you are just here to help people but should you have any troubles of your own I'll be glad to listen and help in any way possible.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 09:03:10 GMT

To anyone who may happen by here. I'm feeling a lot better than when I left this post so if you're in a bad way, hang in there! Today might suck but tomorrow may not. The only way to find out? Be there! But I still do have trouble getting out of bed in the morning and I'd love more suggestions on easy snacks to eat when eating seems like a mountain of a task.

In-fact I've something of an observation to add, which is likely very typical of anxiety. We often build up tasks in our mind but I find even things I really, truly know will be fine I still worry about doing. For a specific example. I'm playing a game with my friends, I'm calm as can be. Slowly friend by friend goes to do something else, and this doesn't detract from the comfort I've achieved. But then another friend asks me to do something with them that I know will be just as comforting and distracting as what I'm doing now, yet I hesitate. As you've probably figured out this is my trouble with eating right now. I am terrified of the potential complications of eating, but once I've got my food in front of me it's a lot easier. Past 3 days chicken noodles have been the easiest thing for me to eat. (slight tangent) Which had it's own breakthrough, I thought they were particularly unpleasant and for once, before assuming it was a problem with me, I looked at the packaging. Turns out I bought the whole-grain version, not the normal ones I get. Which made eating the next batch, the ones I thought I got so much easier and less daunting! (end of tangent) Even still, deciding I was going to have the noodles made me gag, as I had trouble finding a bowl to cook them in I nearly panicked as I already opened the packet and commit to the idea. Every instance of the situation down to them being in front of me, glistening and steaming in the cold weather was a mountainous task. Even the first bite was scary, but once I got over that I dug in and licked the bowl clean! That said, I still have severe limits to what I eat but I am branching out, very slowly to return to my normal habits.

Another odd observation. Recounting the fact I overcame my fear and ate the noodles calmly and so well to my friend later made me a little nauseous. I gagged here and there while explaining it to him. So the thought of food even after the hard part is over still worries me. Still I'm happy with my progress and looking forward to another day of confidence! If nothing else I leave this comment here as an update for future readers.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Jebera — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 16:32:36 GMT

Hi Hypersleep

I'm glad you're feeling better. I get all knotted in the stomach when I'm anxious and when I can't eat I drink Up & Go's. I also find soup and eggs are easy to get down - soft boiled, scrambled or a quiche.

Hope you keep feeling better.

Jebera

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 17:48:27 GMT

Hey Jebera, thanks for the response. Glad to see more people helping me out.

I actually have some Up & Go's in the fridge in-case I feel up to trying them, I'll be less hesitant now I know it works for you too. Are they strong tasting? I got one vanilla and one chocolate.

Eggs too I've been thinking about trying. They seem like a good idea too if they do work for me because I could easily put in extra things to make it healthier and more filling, slowly expanding my tastes again. How many eggs would you think to get me started again with scrambled? Just two?

Soup funny enough should work fine. I've been having some chicken noodle soup in a cup. I rarely finished it entirely. But it helped, especially in the cold weather here in QLD at the moment. It's what lead to me being comfortable with having chicken noodles again. I always loved Heinz Tomato Soup so I've got some cans of that ready to go as-well.

Very helpful response Jebera, thanks again.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Jebera — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 18:18:35 GMT

Hi Hypersleep

Glad to have a couple of ideas that might help. Up & Go's I like the chocolate and vanilla ones - don't like the coffee ones much but I love coffee. I'd just try a couple of eggs to start with and add more eggs or fillings as you feel you can deal with on the day. Soft boiled eggs and toast soldiers are good too. Can't beat tomato soup for comfort food - it's my favourite.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Sun, 23 Jul 2017 10:12:25 GMT

I've found some new information, from Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria on Morning Anxiety that I probably knew at some point but had forgotten. I'll copy/paste the main part that helps me.

It is in regards to my morning anxiety, fear of getting out of bed and how my anxiety gets better over the day.

"On awakening, our bodies produce a
hormone called cortisol which is released when it’stime to wake up.
Cortisol is also released as a response to stress and it can make us
feel tense and anxious. You can change your thinking about your morning
anxiety by telling yourself, “This is just a burst of cortisol which is
my body’s natural response to waking up”. This might help in not
becoming anxious about morning anxiety.

Another physical reason
we might feel anxious when we wake up is that our blood sugar level
drops overnight while we sleep, and this can cause feelings of anxiety
in some people. Eating something soon after you get out of bed will
help. Alternatively, have a snack or drink by your bed and have this
before getting up."

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Tue, 25 Jul 2017 09:22:36 GMT

Mmm I tried the vanilla, I can get used to this. I'm autistic and probably picky even for someone like me but I can get used to this. Kind of relaxing and fulfilling to drink. I'm easing myself into it though. I still get particularly nauseous in the mornings so I don't want to spoil it for myself but having it before I feel comfortable in the day but again, for anyone who may be in a similar situation to me considering trying them.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Tiffany1 — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 00:53:37 GMT

Hi Hypersleep,

I'm so glad you've taken all these steps to help yourself, that's great to see.

I love vanilla flavoured things! A great dependable flavour.

Im not sure what to suggest, but I'm totally down for a chat about food. You can skip this if you need to and read someone else's comment! I do hear you and support you, don't push yourself if reading about food will trigger it. But I have a very good relationship with food and I think everyone deserves to as well.

Some suggestions for very plain things that you can find at Woolies or Coles, Captain's Table Classic Water Crackers, Cruskits, plain Rice Wheels, plain breadsticks.

Some suggestions of what to eat with them: mild twiggy (found in the deli section of Coles or woolies, they are sticks of meat and very mild tasting), slices of ham or turkey, mild cheeses like the softer ones such as Brie or Camembert, cream cheese would be nice to spread on top a cracker too.

My dinner staple is very simple, I chop up a bit of cucumber, cherry tomatoes and use a part of a bag of pre packaged mixed leaf salad from Coles. I put it into a bowl and suddenly it's a meal, I change up the protein that I put on top. I might do baked chicken tenders (from a packet, I'm no chef), a plain steak cut into strips or a piece of lamb backstrap cut into strips. If I want more flavour, I add crumbled feta cheese, I find it's salty but not overwhelming in taste. Some days I will do just the salad without a protein. It's healthy, keeps me going and I do swimming and jogging almost every day, so it should give you plenty of energy!

If you like vanilla, my go to vanilla yoghurt is Dairy Farmers Thick and Creamy in Classic Vanilla.

You could also try plain popcorn. It's very cheerful to eat too.

If you go out and eat, may I reccomend ordering a plain hot udon from a Japanese place. It's plain thick noodles in the mildest soy based soup, very nice.

Cafes with breakfast items tend to have more simple fare like toast with eggs and you can always ask for a glass of water with your meal.

It's great to see that you don't drink alcohol, its a very healthy decision and I might cut down on the number of drinks I have too.

I hope you have a great day, and know you're doing incredibly well. Hope something I said was kinda helpful, and if you did want to chat more about food, it would be my pleasure.

In the meantime, look after yourself.

G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

Hypersleep — Tue, 08 Aug 2017 15:06:08 GMT

Fantastic response, thanks a lot! I really appreciate the specifics. Been pretty good lately, kind of a hiccup today, hence my return here to check/update people in this thread.

What I ended up having mostly were noodles. Starting my day when possible with a banana, following it up an hour or two later with noodles. Thankfully I got to the stage where I didn't really need to wait for me to be SUPER HUNGRY to be convinced to eat. The routine kicking in I guess, very good sign. I'd even got confident enough to throw in some new things. Not just food wise, going back to some of my more stressful and 'engaging' pass-times. (Difficult/demanding video-games) Still managing to keep my cool and some of the new routines I've had. Sadly, I've not managed to turn my sleeping around much but besides today I was going pretty swell. Hell, the night is young yet for me so maybe it'll turn around. Who knows! What upset me so far today was my usual post-banana noodles. For now I'm chalking it up to cooking them weirdly (too much water, lost a lot of the taste) and a particular lack of sleep. (Bed at 10:30 AM instead of 6-7 AM, terrible I know but lately I've been focused on the eating part of my health. Only stayed up that long because of an appointment which went pretty well, which certainly helps me looking back on how stressed I was.)

So yeah, it's a good time for me to see your response. Worst case scenario I've got more foods to try and see what work. For the most part though, my appetite is back. I'm still taking it slow though. Even if I don't eat much today, though I intend to try again later, I'm much more calm about the whole situation.

I've thought about trying some nicer noodles like the ones you describe, but I might save that for when I'm feeling better. If I really enjoy them I don't want to subconsciously associate them with how I've been lately.

Apologies for my late reply. I'll check back here daily for your response, rest assured. N-not to rush you of course, haha. Just know I'm still following this. I mean heck today I had some KFC on the way home even at that early hour, managed to keep it down fine. I'm capable of eating 'normally' which is nice to know, when I'm in a clear state of mind.