topic Anxiety about doing the wrong thing in Anxiety

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

Louise24 — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 02:24:52 GMT

Hi all,

I am new to this blog but have been reading through it and have an immediate sense of relief knowing that others who suffer from severe anxiety like myself have been getting the right help and have/are finding ways to cope.

I seem to have panic attacks when I think I have done the wrong thing and I can't relax until I know that what I did isn't an issue or that it won't hurt anyone or hurt me.

sometimes there is no way of knowing or finding out if I have done the right or wrong thing and so I overthink it for days on end until something else comes up that makes me anxious and so I forget about my other worries.

I have been unable to work due to this and have started taking medication and getting professional help, but does anyone else suffer from this?

Does anyone have any advice on how to manage this?

much appreciated, thanks!

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

Meowface — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 11:14:51 GMT

Hi Louise, I recently joined too and I think a lot of readers will relate to those consuming thoughts and worry. I was bullied at a workplace years ago and it left me quite traumatised when making mistakes at work. If I made a mistake or thought I'd made one I would start to sweat profusely (attractive...not), my mouth would dry up, my heart would beat so fast I could hear it in my ears and I'd shake. I'd think of the worst case scenario like I'd get fired or go to jail (??? this makes no sense I know) and just freeze. I found therapy really helpful to overcome this and worked with a psychologist referred by my GP - it was Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) which helped me understand my feelings better. If you haven't spoken to someone yet I would definitely encourage you to.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

MarkJT — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 11:44:44 GMT

Hey Louise and Meowface, I want to welcome both of you to the beyondblue forums. This placed is full of people with lived experience of mental health conditions and is fully supportive with zero judgment.

Both of you are being treated and that is the most important thing but have either of you heard of mindfulness?

It is a type of meditation and works a treat. I use it heaps and it helps me massive with my anxiety.

It is about living in the present and not worrying about the future, nor the past. When your anxiety is coming on, it helps you ground yourself and prevent the attack.

There is a couple of really good apps that can help you with it - Smiling Mind and Buddhify.

The best thing about it is that you can do it anywhere at anytime so when i get anxious at work, I can look at things, like the sky, the clouds, buildings etc and it takes my mind of what is making me anxious.

One thing is for certain, you two are not alone in your journeys - there are literally thousands of people in the community that live with anxiety daily.

Mark.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

Louise24 — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 02:32:09 GMT

Hi Mark,

Thanks for your response! I will definitely be trying these apps as the anxiety is getting to a stage where it affects me daily. I have been off work which I think isn't helping because I have a lot more time to think, but when I'm at work I also get anxious a lot about different scenarios.

Im now nervous to go back to work in case I have another bad panic attack but I know sitting at home isn't helping either.

Will look into the apps. Thank you!

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

MarkJT — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 05:03:08 GMT

Louise, the good old "getting anxious about getting anxious" trick. Sucks hey!

When I feel anxiety rising, I stop what i am doing and tell myself that i am safe. I then start to deep breath, concentrating on it closely - in - hold - out. Repeat.

I then look for bright colors in your surroundings, listen to some music, go for a run, use touch to distract the mind also.

Learning to control your anxiety is a process. You won't master it overnight so just chip away here and there.

Keep coming back and checking in and I will join you on your journey.

Mark

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

Roonil_Wazlib — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 14:20:43 GMT

Hi everyone,

I can definitely relate to this too. In addition to things I said or did recently, I still think about things I said or did years ago and will agonise over them for ages. It is awful and I have no control over it as it'd just suddenly appear out of no where. I saw a psychologist for a while for anxiety and a whole bunch of things so I'm aware of what I do now but managing is still so difficult.

Thank you Mark for your suggestions! I'm downloading Smiling Mind as we speak. I definitely think that I worry about the future and the past way too much so what you said was spot on.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

MarkJT — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 02:10:12 GMT

Roonil Wazlib, hey welcome to the forums! Great place to learn and chat to people with lived experience.

You mention that you saw a psych a while ago. Are you still seeing one? If you are not, I would well recommend getting back and having some more treatment.

My psych appointments are now three months apart and are generally a check in and not much more but i still like going. Keeping continuity of my treatment.

With things said and done in the past, you have to find a way to move on. What has happened, has happened and I know this is a whole lot easier said than done, it is something that you have to work on doing.

One thing I do every now and then is message or email or talk to someone that had an influence on me over the years. Without, and this is the key, expecting anything in return, thank them for what they did. This is practicing gratitude and gratitude is one of three key items that i do to build my resilience.

The other two are empathy and mindfulness. Smiling Mind will take care of your mindfulness so if you be empathetic, you should and can build your resilience.

Once your resilience is higher, anxiety becomes easier to control.

Pretty simple hey!!...NOT....but it is a step at a time. This is a marathon not a sprint and you have this forum to help guide you and support you through the journey.

Mark.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

Roonil_Wazlib — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 12:43:38 GMT

Hi Mark,

I used up my mental health care plan for the year but it's just ticked over so I've actually made an appointment with my GP and psych already.

I messaged a lot of friends recently actually just to thank them. So many of them have been so supportive with my mental health and I just needed them to know how much I love and appreciate them.

Thanks for all your help!

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

MarkJT — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 02:48:33 GMT

Roonil, awesome by you. That is so cool.

Unfortunately so many people with mental health conditions do not want to tell their mates for fear of being abandoned and so much of that time, they would get some really good support.

You have no such concerns. Love it.

Mark.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:01:15 GMT

Hi Louise welcome to the forums, im glad you being here is a relief for you. it really is a great community.

i like what both of the guys here have said.

i do the same thing about getting anxious because im anxious but this is the time to STOP, breathe and think of your next move, and implement some of those coping strategies that you psychologist is helping you with.

i have a few strategies that might help you. ive got some for panic attacks, grounding yourself and also problem solving. just give me a few minutes to find and type them up for you

again welcome 🙂

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:02:33 GMT

5,4,3,2,1 Exercise -good for anxiety and grounding yourself
These are exercises in noticing what is around us:
Sight: Look around you and name as you look at 5 different objects (variation: 5 blue/black/green objects), then do the same for 4 of those 5 objects, 3 of those 5 objects, etc.
Sight & Touch: Look at, name and touch 5 different objects, noticing their texture, temperature, mass and weight as you do so. Then do the same for 4 of those objects, 3 of those objects, etc.
Sight, Touch and Smell/Taste: Look at (in a garden or a kitchen), name, taste and smell 5 different objects, noticing their colours, texture, taste and aroma. Then do the same for 4 of those objects, 3, 2, and 1.
Hearing: Close your eyes and listen for 5 different sounds. Then 4, 3, 2, and 1.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:03:26 GMT

DEEP BREATHING AND MEDITATION- good for anxiety and panic attacks
i use the 3-3-3 method. so you breathe in for 3
seconds hold for 3 seconds and breathe our for 3 seconds. continuedoing that for a few time until you feel yourself relax and calm down

there are heaps of you tube videos and phone apps that can help you throught this, i found 1 GIANT MIND particuarly helpful for MEDITATION do you could try that

this one is pretty much MEDITATION/DEEP BREATHING put together- which is breathe in notice how it fills your belly, hold for 3 breathe out and release that tension that you feel and keep continuing on until you feel calmer

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:04:22 GMT

MINDFULLNESS
there are so many ways to do mindfulness such as these examples
A) listen to your favourite song and concentrate
on one specific thing such as the words and what they mean, or the
beat- what instruments can you hear in the song?

B) take a look at your surroundings, what
can you hear, what can you see, what can you smell, what can you
taste.

C) pick up an object like a pencil. really notice
how the texture feels, is it cold , warm, does it have a smell?

D)Go for a walk and take in the sights of nature,
feel the breeze on you, notice how it feels

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:05:26 GMT

DISTRACTIONS
this can pretty much be anything you enjoy doing that takes your mind off things such as:
count backwards from 100

play a musical instrument
scribble on a piece of paper
have a nice bubble bath or shower
print and colour a mandela
makea dream catcher
make a scrapbook
go on a cleaning ramage
dance around to your favoutite music
go for a drive

do some origami
cook your favourite recipes

pop bubble wrap
hold a cuddly toy
figdet with a sensory toy
cry- its ok to cry
plant a tree
watch funny youtube videos
write a list of the good things in your life
look at happy photos
squeeze a stress ball
play with a pet
write a nice letter to yourself
do a random act of kindness
count the things around yourself
create or build something
yoga
teach your pet a new trick
learn a new language
pray
take up another hobby
draw on yourself with a marker
study the sky
knit or sew something

listen to music
play a sport
go fishing
go for a run
draw or do some art

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:06:26 GMT

THOUGHT CHALLANGING
1. Pick the thought
2. Reality Test it
so ask questions such as 'my evidence FOR and AGAINST this thought' 'am i jumping to negative conclusions?' 'are my thoughts true in all cases all the time?'

3. Looks for alternative explanations
'are ther any other ways i could look at this situation?" 'what are the positives of this thought?'

4. Putting it into Perspective
'whats the best thing that can happen?'whats good about this situation?' will this mattter in a few years?'
5. Use Goal Directed Thinking
'is this thought helping me achieve my goals?' what can i do that will help solve this problem?' 'is there somethign i can learn from this situation to help me?'

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:07:21 GMT

Breathing mindfulness
Sit quietly in a chair with both feet on the ground and your hands in your lap. Bring all of your attention to the physical act of breathing – start to notice the breath as it enters your body through your nose and fills your lungs. Also notice the breath as your lungs relax and you inhale through your nose. Don’t try to do anything with your breathing – simply notice it, pay attention to it and be aware of it. You will start to notice that each time you breathe in your diaphragm or stomach will expand and each time you breathe out your diaphragm or stomach will relax. Again, don’t try to do anything – just be aware of the physical sensations of breathing in and breathing out. You might like to mentally spell the word “relax” – R-E-L-A-X – each time you breathe in and breathe out. Alternatively, you might like to imagine that with each inward breath you breathe in a feeling of peace and calm and relaxation and that with each outward breath you breathe out any tension, worry or anxiety that is stored in your body.
Start this exercise initially for 5 minutes building up daily. You can also do this exercise lying down in bed if you have difficulty sleeping. It is simply a way of allowing you to have more mindful and conscious control of your body – its breathing and its capacity to relax. When our breathing relaxes our muscles relax and we relax

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:08:07 GMT

breathe hold and release method

Take a deep breath – breathing in fully and as deeply as you can.
Hold the breath for a count of 5 – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
One the count of 5, release the breath all at once.
As you continue to do this exercise you can slow down the counting a little bit each time so that the holding of the breath becomes progressively a little longer.
In between breaths that you hold you may wish to take a couple of normal breaths.
Remember that no matter how long you hold the in-breath that you let the out-breath escape in a “whoosh”, releasing all the breath at once.
After a while you should notice that your breathing has slowed down. You may also notice that your muscles feel more loose and relaxed, especially after each sudden out-breath when your body may even go floppy for a few seconds

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:09:30 GMT

GROUNDING EXERCISES

If you are sitting, feel the chair under you and the weight of your body and legs pressing down onto it. Notice the pressure of the chair, or floor, or table against your body and limbs.

If you are lying down, feel the contact between your head, your body and your legs, as they touch the surface you are lying on. Starting from your head, notice how each part of your body feels, all the way down to your feet, on the soft or hard surface.

Stop and listen. Notice and name what sounds you can hear nearby. Gradually move your awareness of sounds outward, so you are focusing on what you can hear in the distance.

Hold a mug of tea in both hands and feel its warmth. Don’t rush drinking it; take small sips, and take your time tasting each mouthful.

Look around you, notice what is front of you and to each side. Name and notice the qualities of large objects and then smaller ones.

Get up and walk around. Take your time to notice each step as you take one, then another.

Stamp your feet, and notice the sensation and sound as you connect with the ground.

Clap and rub your hands together. Hear the noise and feel the sensation in your hands and arms.

Wear an elastic band on your wrist (not tight) and flick it gently, so that you feel it spring back on your wrist.

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

startingnew — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 04:11:28 GMT

PROBLEMS SOLVING
1. Identify: What is the problem? What is it that you want to change or sort out?
What are the options or solutions as you see it? Consult with others in relation to the identified problem and what possible solutions.
What are benefits or consequences of each option?
2. Choose an option. This is not about being right or wrong, it is about choosing the best available option for this particular problem and giving it a try.
3. Put it into action. This is where the rubber hits the road; where you can make it happen.
4. Review. It is always worth taking time to review results. What is the learning? What if a similar problem presented itself? Would you do the same thing or are there other alternatives

Anxiety about doing the wrong thing

MarkJT — Tue, 12 Sep 2017 00:23:29 GMT

SN, just have to acknowledge what a brilliant set of mindfulness posts you have dropped her.

Well done, just such great posts.

Thank you.

Mark