topic Feeling anxious at work in Anxiety

Feeling anxious at work

JulesD — Wed, 15 Mar 2017 22:30:04 GMT

I have been doing really well for the past 2 or 3 months. A woman at work has now decided she will ignore me and make it very obvious i do not exist to her. Its making me feel bad, anxious, im not sleeping again and i dont know what to do. I already spoke to HR twice, i feel like im a whinger. I can feel miself started to spiral down and my days feel sad while im at work. I cant go backwards what can i do

Feeling anxious at work

Boo1986 — Wed, 15 Mar 2017 23:24:23 GMT

Hi Jules,

I am in a similar situation at work with my anxiety at the moment, so I don't know if I can really offer any great advice, but I can at least let you know you are not alone, and you are not a whinger. When you spoke to HR, did they do anything about it?

Feeling anxious at work

JulesD — Wed, 15 Mar 2017 23:41:45 GMT

Hi HR spoke to this person but it has done no good it seems to make her worse. I know from experience she likes to make people feel awkward and doesnt care for anyones feelings. Shes a nasty piece of work and people tend to stay away from her. I hate a bad atmosphere she openly ignores me and makes a big fuss over others to make a point when i greet everyone in the morning. Im sorry to hear you are having a bad time too its really unsettling work is a big part of the day and our lives. Feel free to reply to me maybe we can support each other 🙂

Feeling anxious at work

Boo1986 — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 01:08:07 GMT

Wow, if HR has spoken to her and she has become worse... she must be a real (something starting with "B")!! I am very glad I don't have to work with her as she just sounds awful in every way. It seems so petty... I remember thinking in high school that things would be better when we are all grown up... but people still act much the same.

I wonder what her problem is? Maybe she is threatened by you? Or jealous? or maybe just a sociopath!!

It is so hard at work because in other situations it is simple, if someone acts like that you just cut that person out of your life. At work we are stuck with these people and have to tolerate them somehow. It would be nice if you just never had to see her again. How are the other people you work with? Hopefully they see what she is like and realise what she is doing to you, hopefully they understand how she is making you feel and support you. If they don't, I wonder is this problem worth leaving this workplace for? It might not seem like it now, but the longer it goes on the worse you will feel, it might be a good idea to look for a better work environment elsewhere.

If you do need to stay and leaving isn't an option, I would definitely keep a record of her behaviour... anything unprofessional that she does, the time and date etc and if HR are ineffective, maybe you could go above them? If you like your job and are otherwise happy where you are, perhaps with the evidence you give it would be grounds for them to fire her?

The last option I can think of is to confront her... but this is a bit scary and could make things better or worse... in a perfect world, you could explain how she makes you feel, she would understand and apologise and change her behaviour. She doesn't seem like the type.... but I guess sometimes you can't predict what people will do?

What do you think?

Feeling anxious at work

JulesD — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 04:46:51 GMT

Hello i tried for a long time to be friendly which worked to a point (as long as she got her own way) I realised she was trying to get me to leave my job and also she was putting me down, also when i spoke one day about by sons friend committing suicide her reply "he must have been on drugs" totally threw me i said no he was not he had lost his mother & never overcome the sadness. A few ppl at work have said she has a narcissistic personalty which i can believe. I speak to everyone else at work and they are all good ppl, they ask how i work with her (we are both in the same dept and sit next to each other !) Its a shame i have been at this job over 7 yrs and really want to get my long service leave.... i wont let her defeat me atm and hope she leaves at some point.

Feeling anxious at work

CMF — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 05:41:24 GMT

Hi Jules,

People who behave like this have a problem with themselves. Remember this, the problem is with herself, not you. Normal people do not behave this way. Are you able to sit somewhere else? She may be jealous of you. Jealous people always find fault in others because they are not happy with their own lives.

cmf

Feeling anxious at work

JulesD — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 06:42:29 GMT

Hi cmf

Unfortunately i cannot sit anywhere else. She is a very complex person and i have given up trying too hard with her. I am civilized and courteous and draw a line there. I do not have the energy to give her any more.

Feeling anxious at work

Boo1986 — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 23:36:37 GMT

How much longer until you can take your long service leave?

Feeling anxious at work

JulesD — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 09:26:16 GMT

Hi there if i left i get a portion of the leave in money. if i stay until 10 years i get a few weeks leave to take from work.

How are things for you at work any better

Feeling anxious at work

Boo1986 — Sun, 19 Mar 2017 21:46:20 GMT

Hmm so 3 more years to go... It is a long time but if you have already stuck it out for 7 years, perhaps it is worth hanging in there a little longer... However if it is only a few weeks of extra leave... it doesn't sound like much.

I basically gave notice last week, said that they should start advertising for my job as I am going to get back into teaching. I explained some of my reasons but not all as I don't want things to be awkward around here until I do leave. I'm hoping I can find something soon, but at least I have plenty of time left here as I will stay until they have hired someone else and then a few extra weeks to train the new person.