topic High functioning anxious people. in Anxiety

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Sun, 21 Aug 2016 12:08:01 GMT

I am not sure why I am writing this.

Maybe because I am a high functioning anxious person. It is something I can do when I feel that something needs to be done.

I would like to hear from other high functioning anxious people.

How do you cope? How do you deal with the need to do something when there is nothing to be done.

High functioning anxious people.

blondguy — Sun, 21 Aug 2016 12:44:43 GMT

Hi Pixie15

What a great topic 🙂

I have had acute anxiety since 1983 when I was 23 and its taken a while to dump most of the 'Type A' personality I used to have. It was major pain....

the higher we strive...the further we have to fall...
sometimes we have dont have to dot all the 'i's and cross all the 'T's
perfectionism is an expensive disorder both psychologically and fiscally
we dont have to 'busy'
high expectations are a waste of effort and mental energy
practicing the art of doing nothing...(not even meditating)...just nothing

Being a 'High functioning Anxious person' is a free pass to ill health (just my humble opinion of course)

Kind thoughts (nice flowers too:-))

Paulx

High functioning anxious people.

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 01:53:59 GMT

Hi Pixie15,

Great question! This is one I struggle a lot with -

- I make lists. I'm a pretty organised person and the lists help me feel a bit more in control of things.

- I make mind-maps and vision boards. It helps me feel a bit clearer and it reminds me that a lot of the time things can wait and I don't have to do everything today.

- I use the rule of 3 when it comes to task management, so everyday I write down 3 things I have to do. This helps the anxious part of me with the need to do things but it's a win-win because 3 things is better than 3182 things.

- Meditate. I'm not in a routine yet, but it's hard for me to just sit. It's a practice.

- Just sit with the feeling. Why is it that I feel something 'needs to be done'? For me personally, that links back to my depression and feeling like I'm not doing enough, so recognising that is a big key for me.

High functioning anxious people.

Moonstruck — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 00:30:01 GMT

This is proving an interesting thread for me...I am glad I stumbled across it. Not sure if I am one of these high functioning anxious or not...as I never feel I am functioning "quite high enough" if you get my drift.

My experience of myself is...no matter what I am doing, especially if it is relaxing, just being, or nothing (which is unbearable for me) I always think there "must be something else I should be doing instead". Is that similar to what Pixie wrote , "something needs to be done"?

I began making lists, only short achievable ones when my anxiety started to become a real problem....it was/is a way of not being so overwhelmed.......I feel someone is always "watching me" not literally, but some mysterious "someone" or that some "rules" are saying I am neglecting a task, or there must be a better way to spend my time.

As if someone is keeping check on what I am doing, how and when.

Even if it is something worthwhile.....I seem to need to find the next worthwhile, useful thing that has to be done! I never think I am functioning high enough!

It has been enlightening to see some others feel a similar way and were able to describe it so accurately.

High functioning anxious people.

harvey01 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 01:38:55 GMT

Hey! I feel your pain. I am a fourth year law student, almost about to finish my degree when I almost overnight started having severe anxiety and panic attacks. I had to stop working, but thankfully finished 3 out of 4 of my law subjects for the year. When I began therapy, I did not realise how high-functioning I was, and how that contributed to my downfall. I guess I'm slowly learning to get my work done, but also have time where I don't think about any deadlines or work (it is really difficult!) I wish I could be more helpful and have more answers, but quite frankly I'm trying to work it out myself. You just have to take pride in the fact that you have anxiety, an illness, and you keep going everyday and keep being a high-functioning person despite this awful illness.

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Fri, 30 Sep 2016 13:10:46 GMT

Hello and thank you to everybody who has responded.

There are many gems here which I have taken on board and can definitely see something of what I was getting at in all your responses.

harvey01 thank you for sharing and I hope you do finish your studies. From my experience it is very difficult to not have any deadlines or work to complete.

Moonstruck I know that centre of attention feeling. I think I get it more if I have been cocooning too much.

blondguy you have summed it up really well I think. Perfectionism and expectations are my downfalls as well as being too nice.

Maybe just need to accept we are as we are and do the next thing ...

High functioning anxious people.

blondguy — Fri, 30 Sep 2016 14:45:59 GMT

Hi Pixie

Its always a treat to get a response let alone a heartfelt compliment...:-)

I am like yourself, always striving to achieve....all the time....and being nice all the time....I never knew it was one of the major triggers for my anxiety in my late teens, early 20's....

I love your last sentence which has just been a huge help to me just reading it.....

Pixie15 said: "Maybe just need to accept we are as we are and do the next thing"

Great advice Pixie....you just helped me...a lot.....in one sentence....Nice1 🙂

I keep forgetting that calm and true acceptance is the key that unlocks the door to having some peace

Always great to here from you Pixie

My Best

Paulx

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:42:47 GMT

Hello blondguy,

Thanks.

Rather nice to find that I have accidentally written something quite profane.

cheers

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:44:02 GMT

I think I meant profound haha!!

High functioning anxious people.

Moonstruck — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 11:43:02 GMT

Methinks that was a Freudian slip Pixie!

High functioning anxious people.

Guest_322 — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 11:55:18 GMT

Hi Pixie,

I know that I'm super late to this forum. I think this is a really good thread 😊

I can personally, like everyone else who has responded, relate.

Although for me it's more like I'm a high-functioning-everything. High functioning when I was depressed. High functioning when I was anxious. High functioning even after I had not been out of hospital for long. You get the picture.

I definitely struggle to not do anything. In saying that, I also kick up a fuss when I've a lot on.

I personally find a change of scenery helps like the beach or park or something.

That and music helps me too.

Dottie x

High functioning anxious people.

PJ70 — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 23:53:29 GMT

Love this thread. So grateful for the posts. I am trying to replace my HF-anxiety not resist it so much. Someone told me, "you can't overcome obsession by obsessing about your obsession." I used to hate the mindfulness idea because it made no sense to my HF-anxious mind, but I am now concentrating on exercising my mind differently. Not easy. If you Google "Readers Digest10-steps-to-mindfulness" (can't post the link for some reason) it gives a good summary of some practical things to do. Cheers, PJ70

High functioning anxious people.

Moonstruck — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 00:07:02 GMT

I have found that you can get a "reputation" for being high-functioning and always reliable when others maybe in a flap...Who ya gonna call???? Call Moonstruck...she'll know what to do, where to find, who to go to, what to say, what the phone number/email address is!!!

They probably do this unconsciously...because I always step up to the mark! Even though it may leave me a quivering mess at the other end....the quivering mess part is invisible!

the possibility that I might be "feeling a bit crook, not having a good day, really too busy at the moment, not feeling up to par" in any way, shape or form, simply does not come into the equation. Never occurs to them!

I tried to express once that I was not up to it just now and the reply? "Oh come on, (chuckle chuckle) you do your best work under pressure...I'll leave it with you!"

I was in hospital once (for medical reasons, not psych) and couldn't rest there properly as I felt SO guilty about what was being left undone..my sense of responsibility to others is way off the graph!!! I don't feel well today...but there is NO WAY I can rest!

High functioning anxious people.

PJ70 — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 00:11:14 GMT

we put so much pressure on ourselves... and cannot imagine there is any other way to think and behave. Apparently there is...

High functioning anxious people.

PatT — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:44:58 GMT

Personally I hold myself to very high expectations that are often unrealistic but make me a high achiever but causes me constant anxiety so it's quite cyclical. Regardless I know I need to do certain things to unwind like frequent exercise (everyday), socialising with people who are aware of my issues and trying to slow the world down when it gets too hectic. Relaxation techniques are so imperative to remain sane with the pressures I put on myself and in the last couple of years my girlfriend has really helped me move past some of my anxiety but reminding me to slow down when I'm stuck in 6th gear.

High functioning anxious people.

Endora — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 13:22:57 GMT

Scrolling through Facebook today a friend shared a video about high performing anxiety. I felt it was me. So I started researching... for the first life in my life it makes sense. The overachiever, straight As, "perfectionism"and "works well under pressure" got me the fastest promotions but I am daily battling the voices in my head saying I am not good enough. I honestly can't believe there are actually so many people going through the same. On the outside it seems like I have the perfect life but in reality, I am struggling to cope... I know it's hot helpful...!

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 11:57:37 GMT

Thanks for posting Endora. Although I hesitate to say this. It is nice to know I am not alone.

High functioning anxious people.

Muddlee — Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:27:57 GMT

Same harvey01 - I'm a third year law student and I always have this feeling that there's always something to do or i haven't done enough. What I've learnt over this year is that these high standards aren't realistic, especially for someone managing anxiety such as myself. I try to remind myself regularly to take it easy and that i can still get everything done and done better by making time for myself to relax. Its worked so far - got credits i all my subs last year and am doing quite well this sem as well. Hope this helps 🙂

Mudddlee

High functioning anxious people.

Pixie15 — Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:13:49 GMT

Hello Moonstruck,

I have been told by a family member that I am the one to come to when you want something done. I did however get the impression it was not quite a compliment.

I used to do the don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Now I been doing more a if it doesn't have to be done today leave it till tomorrow and it may never have to be done. Surprisingly there are some things that either don't need to be done at all or as often.

High functioning anxious people.

Moonstruck — Wed, 02 Nov 2016 00:52:37 GMT

Hello People....well things have gotten slightly more complicated since last I posted. This "high functioning anxious person" is considering seriously, and feeling I want to, leave my casual part time position in the coming year.

I will see out the final project for this year and not leave my elderly boss in the lurch with that undone, but am at a loss how to tell him, or even IF it is the right thing for me? How do you know? Will I be bored out of my brain? thank goodness I have a fulfilling rather demanding hobby/past time which I intend throwing myself into IF I leave work....but feel guilty in leaving this businessman who relies so heavily on me. (but would never admit it)

What is causing me so much stress about this work (been there for a lot of years now) the boss is quite elderly, well past retirement age and sort of flogging a dead horse - the business is floundering. People are leaving him one by one...I am the "only man standing".

He relies on me to find things, remind him of emails, sort out computer problems, fix the problems he creates, make suggestions, give him my opinions re decision making, as he's losing the ability to do the job properly - I have no more interest in the work, get no pleasure out of it, am quite modestly paid ( not always on time either). It has became a sort of weight around my neck!!

I think for a "high functioning anxious" person, leaving a job where you are the one keeping things afloat is a major dilemma. (as you would imagine in this tech age, workers can be reached 24/7, weekends, the Inbox always has business emails, no matter when I log on). I am myself, approaching a certain age...and it's simply becoming too much for me....and contributing enormously to my overall anxiety. Dunno what to do.