topic Overcoming arachnophobia. in Anxiety

Overcoming arachnophobia.

V17 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 13:49:15 GMT

I've noticed that I am increasingly becoming more and more arachnophobic. Even writing this post and bringing it to the forefront of my mind is making me edgy. The word spider..uh!

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to over come this? The thought of having one on me...Oh. No. Waaaay.

Is it because I've been anxious lately that this kinda irrational thought is popping up?

I mean I check under the visors in the car before I start driving because I'd rather deal with it then instead of driving. I'm in the garden and the other day I seen a big one and couldn't get back into it [garden]. I really don't want to let this get outta hand and want to nip it in the bud.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Except having them on me.

V.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

geoff — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 17:52:34 GMT

hell, any phobia is horrible and the fear of spiders is terrible I have a fear a flying birds around me and I would never go into an aviary, however a psychologist could help you overcome this by using a desensitization method, so if you google this it will explain how it's done.
The question you maybe asking is why haven't I done this, well I suppose I haven't had the time to do it, because it has to be done gradually in certain stages and I'm never asked to go into an aviary, because I would just say no.
I know someone who has the same phobia and before she would go into a caravan she would use at least a couple of cans of insect killer, plus she would put a bomb in there as well to kill any insects.
Slowly she has learnt to overcome this phobia of spiders, so if you are seeing a psychologist already then raise this problem with them. Geoff.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

blondguy — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 08:58:14 GMT

Hey V17

I have the same fear which make my heart shake (in fear) but I dont really think about it until they scare the crap out of me.

Geoff has the best clinical advice above where the thought processes are involved (desensitization)

I empathize with your fear though. I fear Rottweilers and Dobermans as they are the only two specie of K9 that have wanted to attack and bite me. So even being an experienced dog handler these four legged critters give me the creeps.

Spiders are way up my fear scale though V17.....I hear you....loud and clear

Great post....a very real one

my kindest (great to have you as family on the forums too!)

Paul

Overcoming arachnophobia.

V17 — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 11:14:29 GMT

Hey Geoff! Hey Paul! - lovely to see you both 🙂

Thanks for your suggestions - the desensitization process; brilliant! I found an incredible blog by a clinical psychologist yesterday and it showed me how to do a step-by-step process. What's more and even better is that I listened to the mp3 (was a free download). I know now I can't get a 'quick fix' and made peace with that.
I initially thought to draw spiders (I am calm when I write the word now) but it kinda freaked me out a little, so perfect timing. Thank you both! I like seeing progress.

Just a little 'chinwag' because I see 3 dog lovers here..
I have a pooch - he is German Shepherd x Kelpie - I've trained kelpies before (Dad is a sheep farmer) and found them to be quick and responsive learners. So when the pooch arrived (he was in a foster environment for dogs), I thought, cool, easy peasy. Wrong. He was uncontrollable! So, I spent hours watching Ceasar Milan - The Dog Whisperer. By employing his techniques I seen an INSTANT turn around with the pooch. Loving it!

Have you guys heard of him?

Just in case you haven't..

He speaks about dogs taking on board their owners energy and a direct result from it is their behaviour.

I've noticed that being anxious lately and therefore fearful my pooch detects I'm scared and goes into protective mode. Like the other day when I was completely freaked out by the spider; instantly he was there.

I wonder Paul, if the dogs you've had your experiences with have owners that are not employing the calm/assertive approach to their canine compatriots?

Love the support the both of you have given me, in here. xx
V.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

blondguy — Wed, 16 Nov 2016 14:44:43 GMT

Hey V17

I love Ceasar Milan, he is a guru and had the guts to talk about his personal life (overdosing) on his own show!

I have a Chow Chow/German Sheperd x....he is a small horse lol.....He's like walking a lamb.....(65kilo lamb)

Your question is a good one as I have always used Ceasars techniques and when my depression is spiking its difficult to let the dog know I am 'relaxed' and calm when Im not...otherwise the calm and assertive pack leader approach does work well and good on you with doing so well with your German Shep/Kelpie x...Nice1 V!

I did try with a Kelpie/Husky x and she needed acreage just to run free. I did fail on that one. It was my daughters dog and was re-homed twice after I tried....I still feel guilty about her....its wasnt her fault that she needed to run

Great to have you here V17.....

Go Ford 🙂

my kindest

Paul

Overcoming arachnophobia.

V17 — Thu, 17 Nov 2016 09:29:35 GMT

Hiya Paul 🙂
Ford 4 Life!
I had a thought just pop in my head a few minutes ago writing a post. I was getting all 'hyped up'. It was Ceasar Milan. Perfectly timed. I can certainly see why using his techniques have helped you. I guess too, that a bonus of his teaching is that dogs live in the moment. Kinda like mindfulness. How easy I can forget about being mindful when the anxiety kicks in!

Kelpies and Huskies do love to run - I completely agree with you. Try and not beat yourself up over it though, sometimes we don't have the answers when we want them and there is always room for improvement whilst we wait for them to come. And you never know what is around the corner, perhaps next time see if riding with them on a bike or even setting up a harness and little trailer (to get the firewood) will help? I ride my bike with the pooch - just so he get's a good work out. Looking down at him as I ride, I feel like am in a wolf pack. So good.

I can draw S P I D E R S now 🙂 This process really works!

Always a pleasure chatting with you and reading your posts, Paul. Always.

Thank you!

V.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

blondguy — Fri, 18 Nov 2016 19:07:02 GMT

Hey V17

Always a treat to get a response of you

You are stronger than I am, the word terror comes to mind if I have a dog on a leash attached to a bike. I have seen Ceasar do it....so comfortably lol. You are a legend V. When you get the time you have to let me know how you do it! (i noticed some responses on learning to accept from a person that means very well but seemed like they crossed the line..not mentioning anyone of course) I just read them a couple of hours ago. I had to re read them to check I wasnt imagining them. It was last week. Pls ignore if you are are okay with the responses 🙂

Great work with drawing spiders by the way....I have never heard of that tip before...Nice1

When you have the time and its convenient let me know if you ride your bike with the German Shep x Kelpie on a leash 🙂

I hope you can stick around V17

my kindest

Paulx

Overcoming arachnophobia.

Doolhof — Fri, 18 Nov 2016 21:37:49 GMT

Hi All,

I too enjoy watching Ceasar Milan. I would love to invite him to our neighbourhood! Actually, the dogs about the place have calmed down a bit now and I don't need to feel so threatened by the German shepherd next door that jumped the fence one day and wrapped his jaws around my leg! Good thing I was wearing jeans at the time.

Thankfully the dog just dribbled all down my leg while he was growling and didn't try to close his jaw. Maybe my leg was too fat for him to do that. Ha. Ha. He bit more than he could chew. Ha.Ha.

Hey V, sorry to read you have an issue with spiders. They freak my husband out as well. Hope you can manage to not let the thought of spiders stop you from doing things you enjoy.

Think I would rather encounter spiders in the garden than snakes. Now the weather is warming up here in S.A. I have already seen one snake in the garden. We eye balled each other as I was weeding! Think I need a thicker pair of gloves!

Creatures are great as long as they don't invade my space!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

Overcoming arachnophobia.

V17 — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 11:48:49 GMT

I chuckled at your post, Paul. Legend? Nope. When I tried the leash on the pooch it failed miserably - I fell of the bike! Walking him with a leash - no drama; bike and leash - no. I do not know how Cesar does it? So I started training him without a leash really early in the morning when no one is about and he now just runs alongside without it, he prefers it and so do I. No more bruises and skinned knees! I would love to meet him too, Mrs D!

Mrs D jee wiz! I'm glad you had jeans on as well! That would have been frightening, they are such big creatures. Has the dog settled, or?
You know this may seem crazy but I prefer snakes over spiders - any day. I actually like them and if it wasn't for the fact that Mum wouldn't pop in and see me if I had one - I would love to share my home with one.

Spider webs are what I aim to be working on. I wouldn't walk through one today and I couldn't find the 'maker' either. Just being calm and relaxing to the exercises is really helpful.
'Creatures are great as long as they don't invade my space!' - absolutely!

Thanks for replying Mrs D; Paul - it's just good to take a breather from facing the hurting sometimes. I really appreciate it.

V.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

Doolhof — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 05:17:40 GMT

Hi V,

You are so right. It is great to have a chat about what ever without it being bogged down with mental health issues.

I know of a person who does not let the family remove any spider from their home. It looks a bit like a setting for Halloween with cob webs everywhere. Ha. Ha.

The feeling of a cob web is amazing. They are so light and fragile and so stick as well.

On an early morning walk once, I saw cobwebs dotted with dew with the sun rising behind them, they looked beautiful. It amazes me how spiders are able to make huge webs.

A pet non poisonous snake might be alright. The wild snakes do give me a fright when I come across them in the garden! They make my hair stand up on end.

How is your cygnet getting on?

Cheers for now from Mrs. D.

Overcoming arachnophobia.

pipsy — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 05:52:32 GMT

Hi All. I have an almost insane fear of spiders and bees. Bees because as a child I was stung, multiple times. Spiders because in N.Z (which almost doesn't exist anymore), we had what we called Avondale spiders, which are cousin to Huntsman spiders. I was told by my dad to put my pushbike away one night, just on dark, I would've been 14, or 15. We had a shed out the back which my dad had rigged a light up in. The main switch was in the back porch (which had light). Yes - the dark is not my 'friend' either. This particular night, as per instructed, I opened the shed door and 'felt' for the light switch. I 'felt' something hairy, scuttle away. Alfred Hitchcock would've loved my scream. Dad literally fell out the back door, down the back stairs and ran to the shed. All I could do was point and stutter. Dad switches on the light, of course Mr spider being more scared than me had disappeared -fast. I never left my bike out after dark again. To this day, I see a spider and he is welcome to wherever he is. As long as he stays outside, I'm happy, he comes in, I go out - faster.

Lynda

Overcoming arachnophobia.

Doolhof — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 22:46:41 GMT

Hi Lynda and Everyone,

Lynda you reminded me of the time I came home from work about midnight, I opened the screen door and a huge Hunstman spider plopped onto my head and then my shoulder.

I really had to swallow my scream as I didn't want all the neighbours running out of their houses wondering what was happening.

Another night, driving a friend home from work in a non air conditioned car on a hot summer's night, we had the windows open. All of a sudden a massive Huntsman spider climbed up the windscreen and headed towards my open window. I tried to stay calm and wind that window up as quickly as possible.

That darn spider hung on! Then it disappeared for while only to return on the windscreen. Must have had chewing gum on its feet!

Both windows up now and the car was getting hot and stuffy. Darn spider. You never saw a person exit the car as quickly as my friends did! Me too when I arrived home! Ha. Ha.

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

Overcoming arachnophobia.

pipsy — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 23:57:51 GMT

Hi Bev, I feel as though we're trading horror stories here. You talking about driving friends home and a Huntsman 'drops' in, (no pun intended), reminded me of a neighbor I had years ago. She was fostering two girls (sisters). She was not happy this day, she'd had a run in with either the father or mother. Anyway, she pleaded with me to come in so she could cry on my shoulder (I must have broad shoulders, lol). I stroll into her kitchen - you guessed, in the corner above us is a massive Huntsman. I point, stutter about the 's' in the corner. She replies incredibly calmly, oh yes, he's my friend. At this point, the creature 'stretches', I run (sprint) to be exact. My neighbor just stares with her mouth agape. If she wants that as a friend, she's welcome.

Lynda

Overcoming arachnophobia.

MargaritaRowe — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 15:58:37 GMT

I understand and can relate to your post so much I feel like I need to say "omg"

I have struggled with the fear of spiders since I was little. I used to think I saw them jumping around on my ceiling.

two weeks ago I was in bed and a spider crawled out from behind my pillow and onto my pillow and I haven't slept in there since. Hope I'm not scaring you... 😞 I feel your misery

Just keep things clean, keep insect spray around, I have multiple bottles around, and they are really handy, turn lights on before you go into a room, do whatever you need to do to get yourself feeling safe again.

I constantly find myself checking the ceiling and my surroundings.

hope you're well

Overcoming arachnophobia.

Doolhof — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 21:09:52 GMT

Hi V and Margarita,

Oh dear. Think I have helped to turn this thread into one of spider horror stories. That can't be helping you at all with you spider issues! Ooops.

I have a story about a spider from my Christian childhood.

Mary and Joseph had to flee Bethlehem when Jesus was a baby and headed for Egypt. Soldiers were looking for them. Mary and Joseph took Jesus and hid in a cave.

The creatures of the cave wanted to help Jesus and to hide Him from the soldiers. A spider decided to make a huge web over the entrance of the cave so when the soldiers went to look there, they saw the huge web and decided no one could be inside the cave.

............

Spider's webs are very useful, think of all the mosquitos they catch!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

Overcoming arachnophobia.

pipsy — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 21:23:09 GMT

Bev. That's an extremely questionable anecdote. My question, therefore is, if there was a spider web over the entrance, how did Mary, Joseph and the Baby get out without breaking the web, thus causing the 'friendly, helpful' spider to investigate? Spiders are not known to be friendly, when their webs are disturbed, they investigate and often will 'attack' predators.

Lynda

Overcoming arachnophobia.

pipsy — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 21:46:49 GMT

Hi guys. Another creature who does not fill me with joy is the Goanna. My ex and I years ago were enjoying a barby in a well-known reserve which was surrounded by trees and, of course, Goannas. The Goannas are so used to human company they know no fear and most times people feed them. We, of course had no knowledge of this. My ex was busy loading sausages, steaks etc on the barby and I noticed these creatures strolling through the trees. I mentioned it to him, but he said, don't worry, I trusted him and tried to ignore these creatures. However, eventually, curiosity, plus the tantalizing aroma of food brought them closer, and closer. Suddenly, they were there, one chased us round and round the barby. My ex would run round the barby, flip the meat and continue running. This creature made 'Jaws' look tame, all I could see was jaws opening and closing, while he kept chasing us. We tried to take the food to the next table, ex instructed me to climb on said table, we discovered Goannas climb too. We eventually made it to the safety of our car, next thing we looked out the car window, our uninvited guest had invited his family to our picnic, we were literally surrounded. Looking back, we must have looked hilarious, but at the time it wasn't funny. Even reading this I'm having hysterics. This happened many years ago.

Lynda