topic Intrusive thoughts :( in Anxiety

Intrusive thoughts :(

db9284 — Mon, 30 May 2016 01:11:40 GMT

Hi all,

I've seen similar posts to what i'm dealing with but so far i've found it hard to cope and wondered if anyone else had these kind of issues. So i'm pretty sure I have OCD, no official diagnosis but what I think and how I feel meets all the criteria.

I've noticed at times in my life that when I get really stressed or anxious, or sometimes if i'm going through a life transition, that intrusive thoughts pop up. Sometimes its bearable (worrying that i'm going to hurt my dog, or if someone sits behind me on the bus that they're going to hit me on the head) but recently it's started to become more sinister. It has happened several times before and eventually the thoughts have gone away, but this time, perhaps due to poor current circumstances in my life (depression, anxiety, dealing with a breakup) I cannot get rid of them. It makes me feel sick, perverted, like a genuine basket case, and just all round shitty. I'm disgusted to even type it, but this is what i'm dealing with:

I started having weird, inappropriate thoughts about my dad. I genuinely believe that this is because it is, in my head, the most 'wrong' thing to think. So it started off with me thinking, "what if the only way to save everyone I love, was to go down on him, or vice versa?" Now i'm very aware that the likelihood of this situation occurring is incredibly slim, but still, once the thought is there, it's there. So then I was haunted by images of these things happening. Or sometimes I just feel overly aware of my nether regions, like if i sit in a way which i feel like they are exposed, i'll feel uncomfortable, think about them, and then somehow relate it to my dad because that's what my brain knows will make me feel like shit. Sometimes it is a compulsion to think these things, and I feel like I physically have to, other times I am able to refrain from doing it but it's hard to abstain. I'm sick of thinking about this stuff, and feeling like a victim of my own mind, it's incredibly debilitating 😞 i've read so much on this topic but not much has helped. Does anyone have any advice? It would be really nice to stop feeling like my head is a monster who's constantly out to get me....

Intrusive thoughts :(

Smithsons — Mon, 30 May 2016 13:00:29 GMT

Hey there, first of all I just wanna say that I am so, so very sorry that you're going through this. I've been dealing with anxiety and some depression for the past 6 months, and at times I, too, have questioned whether I may have OCD.

The same intrusive, sexually disturbing thoughts have entered my mind as well... not about my dad, but trust me, they're along those lines.

I don't know if this'll help much, but it always comforts me - you gotta sorta sit back and realise that the reason you are struggling with these thoughts, the reason you find them disturbing is because, well, they are... BUT that's OKAY because these thoughts that pop into your mind are just that, thoughts, that aren't your fault, and they are in no way things things you want, no matter how much your brain will convince you of that (I don't know about you, but my anxiety used to really convince me that the disturbing thoughts were entering my head for a reason-coz I wanted them and I just didn't want to admit it) This, of course, is not true. And it's just the same for you. My point is, you find these thoughts troubling for a reason, coz they are things you don't want! I know it might sound silly, but take comfort in that. It can be a good beginning step to overcoming these thoughts.

I used to hate when people suggested this to me, but positive thinking is actually a really good way of overpowering these thoughts. When they fall into your head, recognise that an anxious thought (and nothing more) has entered your mind and challenge it. Tell yourself it isn't real, that it's just an illusion created all in your head, breathe, then tell yourself you're going to be okay, because you are.

If you don't think any of these'll work, you could try discussing this with your GP and see what they say.

Best of luck, and always remember that you aren't alone.

Intrusive thoughts :(

Paul — Mon, 30 May 2016 21:16:12 GMT

Hi db9284, Welcome!

I can't imagine the discomfort that these thoughts would be creating, but please keep in mind they are only thoughts. It doesn't sound like you want to act on them.

I'd like to reiterate Smithsons suggestion to visit your GP.

Something people have told me is helpful to diffuse the disturbing thoughts is to grab them from your mind, look at them with curiosity and ask if they are helpful If the answer is no, then there's something pretty cool you can do with the thought. Put it into words and then sing those words in your head to a stupid song. Some people use the happy birthday song. Sounds silly but it's a helpful way to diffuse some of these unhelpful thoughts.

So, please visit your GP so you can find out whether it is OCD you have and then that is half the battle won. This brings to light ways to treat it and provide you some relief.

Stay in touch.

Paul

Intrusive thoughts :(

db9284 — Tue, 31 May 2016 06:19:09 GMT

Thanks so much for your kind words and positive messages.

I spoke to one of the counsellors on the beyond blue helpline and she suggested saying in my head 'rubbish' everytime a thought popped up. She also said to immediately distract myself and think of something else, this seems to be helping so far.

Much love

Intrusive thoughts :(

Greyhound123 — Tue, 31 May 2016 08:24:42 GMT

Hi DB and welcome to the forum,

I have had OCD since i was a child (now 33) and can totally relate to what you are thinking. I am not diagnosing you with OCD but this sounds like the kind of thing I would get. Sometimes it was sexual, but normally it was things like. "I could just punch this person in the face". The good news is you never act on them, it's just a worrying thought, if you genuinley wanted to do that then it would be a different thing. The other good news is with therapy and possibly medication it does get a hell of a lot better. I really feel for you being in the situation you are in now as I know how terrible it feels. If you start to research OCD you will find that alot of people have the same symptoms, and do all of those things that you thought only you did, i know it was a turning point for me.

Please see a psychologist/doctor/councilor, and if you don't get the help you need from a GP seek a specialist, as OCD is a complex issue. The sooner you can get ontop of it and tackle it, the sooner you can get things under control and the less likely you will be to drift into a downward spiral.

Intrusive thoughts :(

katiebkn — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 09:58:19 GMT

Hi there

I came to this thread as today I've had a really hard day.

My anxiety has been playing up or my intrusive thoughts have been which then creates my anxiety.

I know how you feel.. I really do. Today I just feel like there is no hope left.

I have been seeing a counsellor for 5 weeks now and nothing is changing.

I asked him if I had ocd but he says no I have anxiety which comes with intrusive sexual thoughts. He says why they are sexual we don't know yet...

This has made me feel like a lost cause because some days they are so bad that I distance myself from my loved ones that they are about which then leaves me feeling really shitty as they need me.

I start to then get depressed and feel like a terrible person and mother. I wish I could give you some advice but I don't know how.. so maybe knowing that someone else feels like you might help in some way.

I don't feel like I'm seeing the right counsellor. Today I just don't feel like I can go on anymore. I don't want to live like this.

I can't be alone I need to constantly be with my parents and the thought of being on my own terrifies me. Please if anyone has any advice or there story please. Share.

and db9284 I really hope you get the help you need it's a terrible way to live. It's just not fare

Intrusive thoughts :(

Greyhound123 — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 12:22:32 GMT

Hi Katie, sorry you are having such a bad day. I must admit it is a different way he is treating you intrusive thoughts to how I was treated. I am. It a counciler but mabie if it's not working you need to see another one or a psychologist/doctor. I know that's not much relief now just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel with treatment, take it day by day. Hope you are feeling bettet

Intrusive thoughts :(

Paul — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 21:08:41 GMT

Hey Katie,

Welcome - please know you are amongst friends and most of us understand what intrusive thoughts are like, Frightening, disturbing and extremely confusing. I can understand why you wouldn't want to be alone.

Finding a professional is like finding friends, it takes a little bit to get to know them and sometimes it's not a good match as you just don't feel comfortable. If you can seek out a new therapist, that may help. It might mean making a few phone calls and taking your mum or dad with you. Another option is to let your current therapist know that you feel like you're not making any progress and ask them for their thoughts on why that might be. You have a right to know.

It may also help to try the exercise that helps me that I described in my post above. It takes a bit of practice, but if you can trap the thought and diffuse it by telling it it's rubbish or singing a stupid song to the words of the thought, it sometimes helps.

Stay in touch and let us know what you decide you'd like to do with your current therapist and how you're going in general. We're here to listen and understand.

Paul

Intrusive thoughts :(

Greyhound123 — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:39:32 GMT

Sorry I was on my phone when I wrote that and auto correct stuffed me up. It was meant to say. "I am not a counciler but"

Intrusive thoughts :(

geoff — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 20:12:10 GMT

hi DB, what the person on the BB helpline said is true, call it 'rubbish' because these intrusive thoughts will never happen even though you keep thinking of them.
I've had OCD for 56 years and not one of my intrusive thoughts has ever been carried out, so after all this time I now push them away and say, 'don't be stupid it's not going to happen and why think of something that really is ludacris', and if you ask yourself would I really do what the thought is telling me to do, the answer would be no you wouldn't, and accept that by having these thoughts is what happens if you have OCD.
It's no different to if you have to check your locks 4 or 5 times in a row, knowing that the door is locked, and knowing that it is stupid to keep checking, but again that's what our OCD makes us do, and to emphasize the word 'stupid'.
I know this but it doesn't stop me from doing my own habits/thoughts, I can't stop them.
There are psychologists who specialise in OCD, but just remember you will not go through with these thoughts.
Happy to answer any more questions. Geoff.

Intrusive thoughts :(

Greyhound123 — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 10:25:25 GMT

Very wise words Geoff. I feel I learn a lot reading what you write. It is very humbling and helpful to hear others have similar symptoms etc. thanks.

Intrusive thoughts :(

db9284 — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 01:12:54 GMT

I'm sorry this is happening Katie, it really is crap! I would recommend looking into a therapist who specializes in ocd. I'm a looking at finding one myself. I have started medication and have been told that it should help out. Stay in touch, I'm hoping things will get better for the both of us ❤️

Intrusive thoughts :(

db9284 — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 01:18:34 GMT

Hi all,

thankyou very much for your comforting words. I have started a medication and am hoping that things will improve. It's getting to the point where I feel weird being around certain people due to the thoughts I've been having. I'm starting to feel like a crazy person. When I felt better a couple of days ago I even had a thought that said "don't worry, the ocd" will come back 😞 it's like I've gotten so used to being worried that I expect to be. Has anyone found that medication helps? I'm taking medication at the moment and therapist has said to increase my dose.

Intrusive thoughts :(

Greyhound123 — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 06:13:50 GMT

Hi Db,

I recently went back on medication, and it deffinetally helps. The medication alone does not make it go away completely, but it does calm you down and give you enough perspective to work with it to make it go away. (If that makes sense). I can relate to feeling weird around people because of intrusive thoughts as this has happened to me a few times, just remember that no-one else can hear your thoughts, so there is no need to be embarrassed or feel weird. You have a journey ahead of you tackling this, however take comfort in knowing that you are probably (hopefully) in the worst stages now, as once you start treatement it will get a lot better. Good luck.

Intrusive thoughts :(

katiebkn — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 09:51:21 GMT

Thankyou for your reply..

Have been going pretty well now today it's come back. I don't feel myself I claim up into a shell and now the depression comes.

I wonder if I will ever be normal again.. how I could be free of this for nearly 2 years and then it all comes back... I never thought I'd have to go through it again. I don't know how to find the right counsellor it scares me to open up to someone again. But I know the current one isn't working

I to hope you find help this is not fair

Intrusive thoughts :(

Aleins — Fri, 17 Jun 2016 03:56:46 GMT

Hi, I'm sorry if this doesn't help much, but it seems that we have a lot of the same symptoms!

I'm so sorry you have to go through this- it's often the worst thing to sit in random places and have intrusive thoughts appear.

My personal recommendation for intrusive thoughts is a) go see a therapist. I know that it's time-consuming, but unloading on someone is really uplifting, and if you're prescribed to medication, it'll really help in the long run.

On the topic of medication, most antidepressants take approximately 6 weeks to kick in- and there are numerous side effects during this time period. I'd recommend that you have a family member or friend with you at all times during these 6 weeks- they make things easier, trust me.

My second recommendation is to try an app called "Smiling Mind". It's directed at all age groups, and it's specifically designed for intrusive thoughts. Included in the app are different verbal techniques that you can do anywhere (so long as you have headphones). It can be listened to on public transport, at work or school, and basically anywhere. It's really helpful for calming down and accepting your intrusive thoughts.

Finally, I'd just like to say that you are not your thoughts. Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts- however, people with OCD can't seem to let go of them. My therapist used the metaphor of a frying pan- most people have an oil that allows them to simply reflect the intrusive thoughts, whereas people with OCD can't use that oil and the intrusive thoughts stick to the bottom of the pan. OCD is not because you aren't a good person- you just happen to have an external phenomenon called OCD. I'd recommend giving your OCD a name- and treat it then as a particularly bothersome friend. For example, I named my OCD Jemima, and our relationship is as follows:

"Jemima keeps telling me weird things today. She's kinda annoying, but she's my friend."

Best of luck, and I hope this helps somewhat 🙂

Intrusive thoughts :(

awesomenesstocome — Sun, 19 Jun 2016 19:55:18 GMT

I too have been through times when ocd thoughts have dogged me. Disturbing intrusive thoughts. It was once said to me that the thought is the very opposite to who you are, that's why we do everything to rid ourselves of it and are so appalled, horrified and anxious about it. Which gives the thought power. We become extremely exhausted when having ocd thoughts and have a tired mind. So its like a song stuck in your head.

It helped me when a pysche suggested I tell myself, this is not me this is ocd.

What helped me also was to write it out, rescue remedy, brings down the anxiety and you can see the truth behind it. And it becomes nothing more than a thought. Also to leave the thought play like back ground noise.

Hope this helps

Tracy

Intrusive thoughts :(

awesomenesstocome — Sun, 19 Jun 2016 20:04:10 GMT

I'm no counsellor but to try and find reasons for sexual thoughts, well the short answer is there is no reason other than you are horrified at these thoughts because they are the very opposite to the person you are. You would no more act on that thought than fly to the moon.

For some reason its harder to find a good counsellor for OCD as its a little more complex I have found.

I take an antidepressant which helps.

Don't give up it does get better. Rest, exercise all kind things for yourself go miles in helping us get out of a funk.

Hugs

Tracy

Intrusive thoughts :(

Summer83 — Sun, 12 Aug 2018 10:59:58 GMT

Heya,

Thanks so much for sharing this. I also get recurring thoughts, some of which are along the same lines and very disruptive and disturbing. I'll accuse myself of potentially being something that I'm not, then get paranoid that everyone thinks I am that (eg fear that people think I'm a spy), and be obsessed with trying to prove that I'm a good person. I also fear that I could potentially be a bad person, even though I only wish good for others. It is hard to be kind to yourself and let these thoughts go, so would really appreciate any advice on how to deal with obsessive thoughts and how to stop focusing on what other people think of you.

One thing I have found extremely helpful is listening to podcasts on Zencast.org The teachers share (mostly secular) Buddhist wisdom that is very practical, and I often get quite a laugh out of the talks. I recommend Gil Fronsal in particular, whose voice is very calming. Sometimes it's better to stop trying to shut down the thoughts, and instead redirect your mind to focus on something constructive.

Intrusive thoughts :(

geoff — Sun, 12 Aug 2018 18:31:25 GMT

Hello Summer83, and welcome to the forums.

It's good you have revitalised this post because many people still have these intrusive thoughts, and may become an obsession, it can be very upsetting and can feel difficult to eliminate.

They can involve so many different issues that you don't want to occur but still have them going through your mind.

I will have a look at these sites you have suggested and hope you can stay on the site.

Geoff.