topic Bad anxiety for a month. in Anxiety

Bad anxiety for a month.

Countrymusicgirl — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 11:11:29 GMT

Bad anxiety for a month from feeling resentment towards my sister and feeling selfish for wanting to spend time with my partner who is a full time carer of my mum. And that question why do we have to take care of her, why can't my sister take care of her.

From feeling resentment towards my sister that makes me a feel like I'm the bad person and that I should stop complaining about taking care of mum while my sister is busy working, busy going on holidays busy taking care of her dog etc etc.

For the last month all these thoughts have my anxiety so severe that I've turned to food as a comfort, Im not sleeping, but when I do I have nightmares that make me rethink why I help my mum and makes me more anxious.

Bad anxiety for a month.

geoff — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 22:46:23 GMT

hi CMG, can I just clarify your post, I'm sorry, is your partner carer for your mum, or are you the carer and want to spend time with your partner. Geoff.

Bad anxiety for a month.

blondguy — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 22:47:44 GMT

Hello CountryMusicGirl

Your feelings are understandable considering you and your partner are providing so much care for your mum.

It sounds like you need a break. Sleep, nightmares will open the door for anxiety. Being a full time carer for a loved one is a huge ask for anyone and recharging your batteries is vital.

Can I ask if you have had a talk with your sister to ask her for some help so you can have some respite?

Anxiety is and can be a real problem, even if you visit your GP and have a chat she/he may be able to assist you as well especially with your anxiety. Your dedication to your mum is gold but your health is paramount here

my kind thoughts

Paul

Bad anxiety for a month.

Countrymusicgirl — Sun, 22 Jan 2017 06:22:18 GMT

Hey Geoff, don't be sorry. So I work full time and do light duties like making my mum her lunch. While my partner does lifting, showering putting her on the toilet. So if we want to spend time with each we get an hour, but again its still hard

Bad anxiety for a month.

geoff — Sun, 22 Jan 2017 17:38:47 GMT

hi CMG, what Paul has suggested is a great idea to try and get some respite, either with your sister or I know that nursing homes will have your mum for a couple of weeks while you and your partner can go away.
I know of several elderly couples where they have put their spouse into a nursing home so they can go away or have a rest and there hasn't been any problems, actually it gives both your mum and yourself to take a breather from each other. Geoff.

Bad anxiety for a month.

Neil_1 — Sun, 22 Jan 2017 23:31:02 GMT

Hi there CMG,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for
coming here and posting. I’m sorry that
you haven’t received a response as yet, but with the weekend and all happening,
sometimes posts can take a little while before they get responded too.

It sure sounds like you’re in need of a
break – of any kind of description. Not
to mention your partner as well, who also looks after your Mum as well … two
absolute champion, you both are, in my book.

It’s so ordinary when fellow “flesh and blood”
turn out to be something you’re not. It
IS frustrating and can also be incredibly hurtful. When you say your sister is off living her
life; is she still close by … close by
enough, that she could in fact, come along and help occasionally. If that is the case, I think you need to sit
down with her and almost lay it on the line.
Reinforcing all that you’ve done and are still doing for your Mum and
that it is time for her to chip and help out.

I can understand you resenting your sister
with her current attitude.

Almost a similar scenario, I think, relates
to your “um, best friend”. Sounds almost
like a gossip to me, that she wants all the details, etc, so she can pass on
the “juicy stuff” and talk behind your back.
If that is the case, that sure doesn’t sound like much of a friend to
me.

In cases similar to this, I usually ask
whether there is a close sibling OR even a very good friend, who you could
confide your issues too; but um, I won’t
be doing that in this case, for obvious reasons.

May I ask what your partner’s views are on
all of this?

Have you sought help in the past with
regard to your own depression? Maybe it
might be worth a re-visit to your GP and let them know the latest?

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

Bad anxiety for a month.

Countrymusicgirl — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 03:31:07 GMT

We actually have looked into respite care, we can't receive that (she is overweight and they told us its and ohs plus they won't actually put her on the toilet she needs support and respite care won't do it)

And neil:

My sister lives close enough. But is too busy with work and busy with her dog. Theres times Ive asked her to look after mum but she turns around 'I'm working' 'I'm on call' etc etc (she's a flight attender)

Regarding my friends ive learnt to keep my mouth shut now and lie to them when they ask me how I am.

My partner is just over it. But he keeps doing it because he loves me.

My doctor knows everything, I'm due to visit to them this week when they come back from holiday.