topic stress and depression in Anxiety

stress and depression

viper57 — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 07:15:42 GMT

Hi. I have been doing well for a while. Now started getting what i call floaters then panic one time my arms jumped. Lots is happening since returning to WA. Family turned on us. Just after returning. I now have RA. All things are making me sad. My mum dying 6 years ago is haunting me. Just doing everyday stuff is hard. I am sick at the moment. That doesnt help. Having RA. Is a pain. There are things i cant do anymore. Not happy

stress and depression

white knight — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 10:36:37 GMT

Hi viper

I don't know what RA is ?

At any rate it might seem obvious to some that our lives come and go, ebb and flow, in terms of emotion...far more pronounced than those without emotional struggles.

My dad died in 1992. Often I close down. I might be emotional about life and I think about him. Not knowing that it wasn't him that I was originally upset about.

Our minds are weird sometimes

Tony WK

stress and depression

viper57 — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 10:52:07 GMT

RA. Is rheumatoid arthritis. I photo of my mum showed up on facebook. Then i got upset. Its 6years on the 21st june. With everything else going on its getting hard. Our son and if wife have shut us out of their lifes. Her parents dont like us we are not good enough. He takes their sides all the time. We arent well of and live in a caravan. They are all full of money

stress and depression

pipsy — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 11:08:56 GMT

Hi Viper. I should imagine the RA would be extremely painful, causing you depression because it stops you from enjoying life. Are you taking anything to alleviate the pain. Where does the RA affect you the most? Is it general or all over? It's disappointing your son has chosen to ignore you. Can you speak to him at all or is this impossible? Maybe a trip to your Dr to explain your discomfort. It's possible you may be eligible for financial help to get you into a small house. With RA, I should imagine warm surroundings would help ease the pain. Try and see if your Dr can give you a certificate to get you out of the caravan. With a certificate from the Dr, the housing dept might be able to assist with getting you into somewhere, where you can keep warm. RA is bad with cold weather.

Lynda.

stress and depression

viper57 — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 00:21:55 GMT

Hi. I am on medication for RA. a injection once a week. To get a housing rental here through government takes 2 to 5 years. Just isnt any. Our caravan is onsite with solid annex. It does have a good heater. Our son didnt include us in any of the wedding arrangements. We did ask to help they said no. They didnt even ask how we were getting to the wedding. Her family said they would tolerate us emagine how we felt. Her mum even said our son was old enough now and didnt need our help. In the end it got bad. We didnt go to wedding. He was lying to us after meeting his now wife. Never had xmas with them. He would never remember our birthdays etc. He was at their place all the time. Its like he has now got the family he always wanted. I am gutted

stress and depression

pipsy — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 00:46:09 GMT

Hi Viper. Your son sounds rather selfish, if I may say. You may have to just accept his decision and concentrate on your own well-being. I presume there are no other children. Where you are, are there neighbours who can be called on for emergencies. Do you have any other family close, like a sister, brother? Perhaps through Angli-care you could arrange for someone to check with you and see you are okay. Angli-care does have a home visits programme for people with disabilities who are unable to get around for shopping, Dr's etc. I don't know what state you're in, I'm from Qld and we have two or three companies who take people shopping etc. I actually volunteer with one and there are two more I know of. Because of your disability, I think you would qualify for this help.

Lynda

stress and depression

viper57 — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 10:41:26 GMT

Hi pipsy. I agree he is very selfish. and thinks he can talk down to us. They all like to drink we dont. They had house warming . We didnt get invited. Even when the got engaged her family. And our son went to singapore. We didnt know about that. I dont understand why he is like this. We dont have any other family. We live in western australia. He said he would look after us. After we sold in tasmania. Never happened. It really looks like he prefers. Her family that have money to us. There really isnt any words to this. My husband and me both have arthritis all different types. Im just hoping phycologist can help. Im 59. Hubby 62 we really shouldnt have to deal with this. Thanks for letting me let of steam

stress and depression

pipsy — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 11:04:29 GMT

Hi viper57. I'm just glad I was here to allow you to 'vent'. We all need someone we can rant to when times get rough. Maybe one day son will come to see you. Whether he does or not, I hope you can get some help. I have two kids, I've been lucky, mine have always been there. Many lose their kids, like you. It hurts like Hell, but sometimes it works out better. I know that doesn't really help, but you need a son you can talk to, he has proved he is rather selfish. Your son actually sounds like he is a follower rather than a leader. By that I mean he is easily talked into believing all he has to do is watch and follow. Decisions are not his strong point. His decisions so far have been influenced by his wife and her parents. You did nothing wrong except love him and he threw it back. I don't think he is capable of true love. He thinks he has it with his new 'family'. If anything happens to him health-wise, he may get a shock. Take real good care of each other. Anytime you need to talk, we're here.

Lynda.

stress and depression

White_Rose — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 11:07:39 GMT

Dear Viper

Hello, it's good to meet you. It must be very painful to find your son will have nothing to do with you. Maybe his new family has taught him that only people with money count. I am so sorry you have missed out on milestones like engagement and wedding.

Lynda's suggestion of getting medical certificate from your GP is good. There may be a waiting list but if you don't get on it you will not get a home. And as both you and husband have RA it may move you up the list. So put your name down and see what happens.

It's good you are working with a psychologist. It will help you move on from your son's behaviour, which is atrocious. Now is the time to concentrate on your own lives, where you live and what you do. Is it possible to return to Tasmania or would you prefer to live in WA?

Mary

stress and depression

viper57 — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 00:18:40 GMT

Hi its not possible to move anywhere now. We live on my husbands pension. Centrelink say i could work. They should live in my world. we will look into government housing. We only lived in tasmania 6 months. It wasnt for us. You think at our age we would have seen what was happening with son. But we didnt

stress and depression

pipsy — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 00:58:52 GMT

Hi viper. There's no way you could have foreseen this business with your son. No-one can see into the future. You brought him up, taught him right from wrong. No matter how hard we try, we can't spend 24 hours with them. We can only hope that we instill enough sense into them that they develop into decent people. That's not to say your son is not a decent person. As I said he is easily swayed by the promise of wealth and fortune. It is not your fault, it is just he has dreams and was easily led. Perhaps a Dr could help you with getting better accommodation.

Lynda

stress and depression

White_Rose — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 11:50:14 GMT

You know the most common reaction to unwelcome and distressing news about our loved ones is, "I should have seen it earlier". Whether we could, should, didn't is irrelevant. You and your son are in this position and you cannot change the past. Sad I know and very distressing for you. Now you need to plan for your future. I suggest you keep the door open for your son but spend your energy on making a new life for you and your husband.

Waiting and hoping are soul destroying. Expect no help from your son. If he changes his mind, or as in the parable of the prodigal son, he 'comes to his senses', and wants to help you then you can reconcile if you wish. Talk to the psychologist about moving on and forgiving your son. I'm not preaching to you, I believe forgiveness is an important part of the healing process.

Forgiving means letting go of the hurt and disappointment. It's not about letting your son or anyone off the hook so to speak. He will need to live with his actions. If they bother him he must do something about it. Meanwhile you can let him go with a sigh and start to build a new life where you are. Does this make sense to you? I know it's not a cure but you can live your life without wondering what's going to happen next. And with some contentment in your life.

If CentreLink are hounding you about working, get a medical certificate from your doctor to say you are not able to work. For goodness sake, what do they expect you to do? Make an appointment to see one of these people and have a discussion about what you can and can't do. Take all the medical evidence with you.

OK time to stop. I hope my comments have been helpful and useful to you.

Mary

stress and depression

viper57 — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 10:07:58 GMT

Hi all got a message from.pychologist today. $140. Per visit. Will be out of pocket nearly$57. Cant afford that on one pension. Not happy. We both see. Specialist for arthritis. Out of pocket $40. Each when we see him. This is tough

stress and depression

pipsy — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 10:49:23 GMT

Hi viper. At this point, I suggest you get to your Dr (or arrange a home visit). Show the Dr the price quote from the psychologist. Hopefully, the Dr will be able to give you a certificate to take to c'link explaining your financial circumstances. Either that or try Angli-care, I know in some circumstances they help with financial matters. I would also tell your Dr that you need emotional support due to your son's lack of caring. Because of the way your son has treated you, it has left you feeling extremely depressed. You need to be totally honest about your depression over this separation from your son, plus your physical disability. With you 59 and your hubby 62, there is no way either of you would be able to work. Apart from the fact that you are both nearly pension age, no-one is going to employ you for just two years, only to have you retire.

Lynda.

stress and depression

White_Rose — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:15:12 GMT

I understand how the cost of meetings with a psychologist rules it out. However, there are independent organisations that offer counselling. Usually at no cost or a very very minimal amount. Relationships Australia is a respected organisation which offers counselling. To make an appointment or ask questions phone 1300 364 277. Their charges are based on a sliding scale depending on income.

Anglicare WA have offices in various parts of the state which you may be able to attend. Look them up in the phone book. Both good places to go.

I gather your husband has a disability pension. Can you also apply for a disability pension. If your doctor says you cannot work it will get the ball rolling.

Let me know how you get on.

Mary

stress and depression

viper57 — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:25:22 GMT

I have tried twice for the pension and been knocked back

stress and depression

pipsy — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 22:41:15 GMT

Hi viper. Were you given a reason for the refusal from c'link? Often when we are refused, the only thing we can do is re-apply. It's rather like dealing with the housing dept. I would ask your Dr again. C'link usually accepts a Dr's ruling, it's quite rare for them to go against. When did you apply? If you applied a while ago, you may have been considered too young (just a guess there). I think the govt has changed their ruling so I'd give it another try. With your age a factor, plus you're disability, plus your emotional state now. I realize it's taxing emotionally, but with a Dr's certificate and all the other factors I mentioned, c'link may be more inclined to assist you now. You may have to 'dance to their tune' a bit, they have to be seen to be following the rules, but try to persist.

Lynda

stress and depression

White_Rose — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 03:52:58 GMT

Oh dear, life is not treating you well. The more you write the more I want to say, let your son go, at least for the time being. Worrying and fretting about him is causing you so much grief and stress. I know it's a lot to say and in your position I would be reluctant.

For the time being there is little you can do about it. Please concentrate on getting as well as possible and as comfortable as possible. Your son may eventually realise how much he misses you and want to be part of the family again. Am I right thinking he is your only child?

Talk to your GP about getting help with housing and a pension. Other than certifying you are ill there may not be much they can do directly, but they should be able to tell you where you can get the best help. Any GP worth their salt should be able to do this. Tell the GP that you cannot afford the counselling cost and ask what alternatives are available. Probably the two I have mentioned but there may be local assistance you can access. Also ask to be referred to a social worker who can help you with the non medical aspects.

Mary

stress and depression

viper57 — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 01:38:57 GMT

Morning. Pycologist is going to fit me in when she has concession appointments. Nothing at the moment. Wont be out of pocket much that way. Feel a bit happier. RA. In foot is still bad. Not much i can do. Happy weekend to all

stress and depression

viper57 — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 08:04:33 GMT

Just had an upset. Saw floaters. Then panicked. Im sick at the moment as well as RA hurting