topic Anxiety and Pet regret in Anxiety

Anxiety and Pet regret

Budgiebird — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 20:21:34 GMT

Hi,

I recently adopted a seven year old cat hoping it would help ease my severe anxiety. I have a wonderful nine year old dog that I love dearly but I also love cats and had a cat many years ago who was such a joy to me and really helped calm my fragile nerves so thought it would be a good idea to give a shelter cat a home. I’m starting to wonder though if I’ve done the right thing. It’s only been a few weeks I guess but this cat is nothing like my previous one who was a real lap cat. This one is friendly but very independent and I don’t feel that love for her I had hoped for and my anxiety is worse than before with the responsibility of caring for her and hoping she will get along with the dog and trying to find that bond I desperately want. The rescue shelter were great at the time I adopted her and said it’s ok if it doesn’t work out as they can rehome her but I would feel terrible if I sent her back to the shelter.
Maybe I just need to give it more time ??

Anxiety and Pet regret

Sophia16 — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 04:38:16 GMT

Hi,

I can see that you are feeling confused and helpless. Adopting a cat can be hard at first and it takes time for them to get used to a new home. I say give it more time. At least a year.

How long have you had the cat?

My cat was also adopted from an animal shelter and it took around 6 months for him to get fully used to my home.

Please stay safe and let me know if you need anything.

Anxiety and Pet regret

mmMekitty — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 06:01:57 GMT

Hello Budgiebird.

It was a good idea to adopt another pet. But it will take time, as Sophia16 has said.

When I got my cat she was a kitten,& that is way different from getting an adult cat. Mine was never a cuddle-up-to-you lap cat as I would have liked when I got her. & she never changed. 20 seconds was her maximum holding time. She would sleep at my feet,or at my side. & that was wonderful.

I grew to lo love other ways she behaved, loving her for who she was. Worrying all the time, too. Like having a child you have to be responsible for, keep safe, keep healthy, & not lose... it scared me so much. I still loved her.

I hope you can give your cat more time, watch, listen, be interested, encourage without trying to force more interactions. You might have places for your cat to lie upon where you can look up or over to see your cat while (for e.g.) at your computer.

My cat, Mekitty, had the windowsill, too. I knew Icould find her there most mornings. & if I went out, she'd often be there as well. I'd tap on the window, make my own meow noises, & she'd respond.

Generally cats are much more independent than dogs, who are social & need company more. They need more exercise too, more grooming, (though I did try to brush Mekitty sometimes when she let me), & they will more often seem to be paying attention to you.

Your relationship with your cat will be different. You can have a bond, but it may take you more time

In the end, you have to decide what is best for you, since the shelter has assured you they would take the cat back. If it's a good shelter, the cat will not suffer from being returned.

mmMekitty

Anxiety and Pet regret

Budgiebird — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 19:41:02 GMT

Thank you for your reply Sophia16.
I’ve only had the cat only a few weeks so I guess I’m just impatient and wanting the joy of owning a cat to ease my anxiety now. She is lovely so yes I will just give it more time for us both to settle. I believe animals are a great help to anxious people 🙂

Anxiety and Pet regret

Budgiebird — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 19:47:06 GMT

Thank you for sharing your experience mmMekitty. Your advice is great and I will give it more time and enjoy this cats own unique personality. She has already started sleeping at the foot of my bed which I find comforting. You and Sophia16 are both right in saying it takes time for them to settle and find that bond and I guess I had forgotten that.

Anxiety and Pet regret

Mitty92000 — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 19:52:27 GMT

It all takes time give the cat a chance to settle in .The dog and cat may become best friends.

Anxiety and Pet regret

Budgiebird — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 20:31:13 GMT

I hope so 🙂