topic Facing fear again in Anxiety

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:19:44 GMT

I am sitting on my chair in my bedroom. Hiding from my kitchen, I know that sounds stupid. But I have just returned from there, I desperately need to prepare dinner for other people, but I am having trouble going back in there. Because when I went in there last time, and went to grab the saucepan, all I heard was mouse mouse mouse he is going to get you, get you, get you, immediately I felt fear and I could feel my heart beating in my head. I can't grab the saucepan now. I am thinking about this logically now, knowing that they can't hurt you and they are more frightened of people, then you are of it. But I am still here hesitating to leave my safe little chair in the corner. I have experienced panic attacks before and have had victory over them. But this one is a new one, a little different. Anyone have any thoughts? I have to make dinner.

Thanks

Facing fear again

Chicken_Wings — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:33:06 GMT

Shelley think about the mouse.
What is the worst possible thing that could happen. A mouse could run out and he could scare you and you might drop the saucepan? Then what?
Think honestly about what you are afraid of. What exactly is it?

Facing fear again

Bluey_moon — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:40:20 GMT

Hi Shelly Anne, I can relate to your fear, mice were on my long list of worries.

Notice the were though! Like chicken wings ,(who gives great advice btw), said is it really the mouse you are scared of, what exactly are you frightened of?

I know you can do it. When we have panic attacks it takes a lot to overcome them!

Try some breathing excerises and mindfulness exercises.

Do you have someone who could help you prepare dinner so you aren't doing it on your own?

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:18:26 GMT

Thanks chicken wings, I know it was not very logical thinking. I prayed and thought about it. I have managed to prepare the dinner. I now feel real foolish for posting such a post. I am so embarrassed. I have always had a huge fear of them.And that fear is extremely and utterly ridiculous.

Thanks chicken wings, for running to my aid.

Shelley anne

xxx

Facing fear again

white knight — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:48:17 GMT

Hi Shelley Anne,

Yeh, Chicken wings is a trooper eh.

I'd buy a cat. But if you prefer dogs get a pure bred Mini Fox Terrier. Ours is 3yo and she sniffs out mice all the time and we get her to take them outside lol.

Sometimes logic doesn't compute in our minds and we allow our minds to run without logic. We cant control all of our minds at times hence the anxiety and our imagination.

I was taught in 1987 to think realistically, to stop imagine things that weren't true.

Tony WK

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:25:24 GMT

Thanks for your input White Knight, I love the idea of getting a kitty cat.

Shelley anne

Facing fear again

Mummybee — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 05:12:33 GMT

do you think perhaps your fear is actually of people relying on you?

i only ask because you said you had to cook dinner for other people, and I know when I think hard about my actual fears it's leaving behind those people who rely so heavily on me.

just a thought because it struck a cord with me

mummybee

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 05:57:22 GMT

Hi mummybee

I don't know mummybee, it could be......

I think I am understanding though what you are saying, are you saying like there is people that are relying on you, and you are frightened or anxious that you are going to let them down, of almost failing them? Is that right??? I don't know. If yes, I think I have experienced this in some circumstances.

But in this instance, I did feel under time pressure to actually cook dinner, because it was 10pm.....Yeah! I know it is very late.

But I think what motivated, or drove me to actually even go into the kitchen was out of love not fear. Sorry, I think that is right. But your question is a very good one, and I will ponder it more, to see if perhaps it does apply to me.

And truly I do have a fear of mice, I even had trouble just typing that word. I know it is not logical.

Thank you so much mummyee!

Shelley anne xxx

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 06:11:12 GMT

Hi bluey moon!

No there really isn't anyone that actually likes preparing dinner at my place. I like cooking. I just don't like the" you know what???"

I have always been afraid of them. But I will think about what you said, I am quite open to other people's perception of things.

Yes, I should remember to calm myself down and take some deep breaths. So thanks for reminding me of that . I didn't do that last night.

Thanks bluey moon

With hugs

Shelley anne

Facing fear again

Bluey_moon — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 06:31:58 GMT

How are you feeling today? Hope you are having a good day.

You said you love cooking. What is your favorite thing to cook? i cook but to me it's kinda a chore. But my favorite thing to eat is salmon, or lamb shanks or lasagne.....

Facing fear again

Lucille — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:57:26 GMT

Hey Shelley Anne, , , again. Ummm. . . It's ok to have fear. Fear is a good thing. It means you're not a robot :DI have a quote for you, it's from Doctor Who, an episode called hide. Next time you experience fear think of this quote and be proud.

"Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard I can feel it through your hands. There’s so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain it’s like rocket fuel. Right now you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert it’s like you can slow down time. What’s wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It’s your superpower."

Shelley Anne, don't ever be ashamed of being frightened, no matter how irrational it may seem. I remember, one night after having a shower, I ended up sitting in the bathroom for about an hour because I was too terrified to look around the corner of the shower, I just sat there and cried, paralyzed by a fear of absolutely nothing! But it was ok. It's fine to be afraid sometimes. And it's so great to ask for help and admit that we're having trouble because it means we can get help. I hope this at least made you smile (even a little one) . Good luck with whatever you want luck for. 😄

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:00:02 GMT

Hello Bluey Moon

Yeah I am doing OK today. How are you coming along? Do you struggle with fear as well?

Sometimes cooking does seem like a chore to me as well, especially if you having emotional issues, like sadness or something. I think I enjoy the aromas, like all the different scents that flow out from the pot, from the spices of a curry.

I have never tasted lamb shanks before. But I sometimes like fresh red salmon, pretty expensive though, where I live.

I tell you what, I still feel embarrassed about starting this thread though.

Thankyou Bluey Moon

Hugs xxx

Shelley anne

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:16:27 GMT

Hello sweet Lucille

Thanks for your quote from Dr Who and thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it and you.

That is a long time to sit in the bathroom. I don't know what you look like, but I can imagine a person pearing around the corner of a shower. If I was there at the time, I would have hugged you.

Hug

Facing fear again

Bluey_moon — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:22:24 GMT

Gosh, please don't ever be embarrassed about starting a new thread! Fear isn't always rational, I'm scared of lots of things: myself (that I can't be the type of person I want to be as a mother and wife), scared of losing my mind, fear of losing control, I'm scared of snakes, magpies when they swoop you, the dark, getting sick, I don't like mice much either! I'm scared of being alone sometimes, hurting people. I used to be petrified of driving over bridges! See what I mean, the list is long!

I only order salmon when we go out, cause I really can't cook!

Take care Shelley, and don't ever feel embarrassed!

Skye

Facing fear again

Gruffudd — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:38:18 GMT

Hi Shelley anne,

nothing to be embarrassed about - really...

I have been working on this thing that I call "a boy in a bubble"

It is like my own portable little safe place. It sort of works. Sometimes I find I need to not do things that I should and deal with the consequences, not being too hard on my self. Other times I can be really quite brave.

I like to imagine my bed as being an island of solitude that is capable of travel in time and space (when I fall asleep there is some truth in that)

My ultimate safe place is a warm bath in silence on a moonless night with all the lights turned off. It is heaven, like I am the only person in the world.

So cooking, If my heart is in it I go for it, if not it goes in the green bin and I break out the bananas and ice cream.

Rob.

Facing fear again

Bluey_moon — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:47:42 GMT

Love the idea of bananas and icecream!

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 13:15:52 GMT

OK Rob.... I am now imagining a rather large glossy bubble, with shimmering pale streaks of colour. The bubble is floating, the bubble has a skin, that is protecting the valuable contents of its cargo.... Is this the image you have? Or does your bubble look different?

The bubble is quite portable, as it is floating. The cargo is safe, because of the protective skin.

Don't know what else to say here Rob, but if you live like that, well you are not alone, because I have felt like I sometimes live in a bubble.

Well the bed, is a safe place for me, I think it has a protective thing about it as well. Like you can hide in there. The time travel...um that sounds really adventurous.

You seem like a very deep thinker.

Your description of the warm bath, with the moonless night does sound pretty peaceful. I only wish we had a bath at my place, we only have a shower.

And I am not keen to eat ice cream, but bananas, yeah they are yummy.

Thank you Rob, I did really like chatting to you.

Shelley anne

Facing fear again

Guest_1055 — Fri, 27 Nov 2015 04:36:59 GMT

Thanks for your re assurance Skye. I appreciate it and you.

Fear is well....a trapping feeling, a feeling that you feel trapped well it is for me. I used to face a lot of fear in years gone by, but it is easing off now. For which I am thankful. One of the things that I was scared of, was walking outside the house to collect the mail from the letterbox. I was trapped inside the house. I think I was frightened of another person seeing me. So I then would go out there at night time so I can sort of hide a bit.

But Skye I don't struggle with fear as much as you say you do. For me it just blares out from time to time. And only in some situations that I find myself facing. So I'm so sorry you struggle so much. I long to stomp on its head for you.

xxx

Shelley anne

Facing fear again

Gruffudd — Fri, 27 Nov 2015 06:26:47 GMT

I think you are right fear is something that is constricting. So Shelley anne, are there things you did that helped reduce the fear?

My list is partly above and yes it is a bubble like you described. I would like to be able to trade the car in for a real bubble and perhaps float overseas for a holiday, sadly reality is not like that.

I suck my thumb, I never stopped, it is very centring. I am unafraid after a few minutes of thumb sucking. It also gives a chance to slow down the thoughts and remind myself that I am the same kid I always have been and that I am ok.

Facing fear again

Bluey_moon — Fri, 27 Nov 2015 09:07:50 GMT

Hi Shelley Anne,

My fears have come on and off after time! I don't have a high level of fear a lot of the time, I can still participate fully in my life. It's the irrational fears I struggle with the most! Illnesses mostly but my psycologist and I are getting to the bottom of a lot of them! Apparently I'm a control freak with my emotions and a bit of a perfectionist (that ones from the psyciatric nurse, who is funny as)!

Thank you for your support and advise and for wanting to help me, I appreciate it more than you will ever know!

Skye