topic anxiety revisited in Anxiety

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 02:56:21 GMT

Hi Im Tracy, Im 49, Have 3 children, a gorgeous partner Paul. starting the change of life, anxiety an everyday visitor, sometimes all day, mostly morning. I have had anxiety since I was 19, sometimes a bit of depression, but mostly generalized panic anxiety disorder. My health isnt the greatest atm, I have high sugar levels, high cholesteral, low vit D and low iron. Im on Iron supplement, Vit D drops, fish oil, getting sugar down by diet exercise. I have found myself floundering and despairing at how rapidly anxiety and thoughts took hold. Oh and having lovely new symptoms of anxiety that I havent had before. woo hoo got to love it.

anxiety revisited

Neenie87 — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 10:46:03 GMT

Maybe you should think about a lifestyle change. When my anxiety and panic attacks got so bad i gave up alcohol, unhealthy food and started exercising. That started me in a great direction. Then with an online course, psychologist and cbt ive started getting my life back from anxiety. You can get there too. X

anxiety revisited

Lost_Girl — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:52:10 GMT

Hi Tracey,

My name is Carol, I am fairly new to the forums here and new to depression having been diagnosed only a few months ago.

It sounds like you have had quite a journey with you anxiety. It must be hard. Have you reached out to your GP lately to talk about your new symptoms?

I have been finding my GP a great resource for getting the right people involved to assist me. Maybe your GP can assist in a similar way, perhaps recommend a dietitian for example to look at a way to support you with your health that way too?

It's great you've started making some changes to help with your health. That's a big step in itself. Nice one!

I also have 3 children and a gorgeous partner 🙂 I have found that I get great joy from them but also there are days when it is really hard when I can't give them as much as I think they need. Do you ever feel like that? My kids seem happy though so I am goid with that.

There are more experienced people here who have been through anxiety and I'm sure someone will reach out to you soon. In the meantime I am more than happy to chat 🙂

Take care,

Carol

anxiety revisited

White_Rose — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 22:47:24 GMT

Dear Tracy

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It's great you have written in here. We are here to support you and offer suggestions from our own experience.

I can relate to most of your symptoms as I have been struggling with depression on and off for many years. Anxiety has not been a huge problem, except in the general way that people get anxious when things go amiss. I also have type II diabetes but these days it is very well controlled.

Our physical health has a huge effect on our medical health which makes it good incentive to get fit. But of course it's never as simple as that. I have lost count of the number of times I have been on a diet. Never lasts until you are completely committed to it.

You have a number of goals you are trying to achieve and this puts extra pressure on you. Somehow we think that once we started something, like a diet, it will just happen and we can get on with others parts of our lives. And it does not work as easily as that.

So what has this got to do with your thoughts? All your physical symptoms absorb your energy leaving little room for dealing with anxiety. Plus the wonderful bonus (?) of hormonal changes. So no wonder your anxiety is getting out of control. Last year I was prescribed medication that made my body think it was entering another menopause. This was the last part of my treatment for breast cancer. And it was horrendous. I had to stop taking it. You are not taking meds but we both have/had a similar problem, hormones running around making us feel very different to the way we are usually.

I believe that as we get older so our thoughts and feelings change. But you are going through some huge changes and it would be strange if your thoughts were to stay the same. Like Carol, I suggest a trip to your GP to sort out the physical stuff and have a chat about your anxiety.

The great thing you have going for you is your sense of humour. It helps us no end when we feel unwell. Where would we be if we could not laugh at ourselves.

Let us know how you are going.

Mary

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 00:32:26 GMT

Hi Carol, mine are older 23,21 and 16, but I have developed a phobia if you will about having a panic/anxiety around them. You know trying to put up a front. They live with their dad also, my eldest daughter works near my work so I c her often. She is just recovering from a bout of anxiety due to her friend committing suicide. I do talk to her somewhat. I dont know we just seem to give ourselves a hardtime about everything, and its not helpful at all. I am in touch with my gp about the diabetes etc and recently got a mental health plan to see a pschologist, but i cant afford him his gap is too high for me as I only work 2 3 hr shifts a week.

regards Tracy

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 00:43:02 GMT

Hi Mary, thankyou for sharing your experience. I dont think it matters how our change happens the result is still hormones running everywhere. I have seen gp and everything is being sorted. I became fearful when all the old symptoms came up and I was desperate not to go downhill so I was battling anxiety rather than accepting it as being a natural progression from my poor health. I m 2 weeks into Vit d supps and iron, my sugars are coming down. Last night I tested at 7.2 after dinner and felt really good, no anxiety. Interesting hey. Im not sleeping well, I am having fear thoughts about not sleeping and am averaging 5 hours a night. I realize how important sleep is and think this where the obsession comes from. Damn it, its so frustrating at times. Im trying to c it as a new learning curve for me. My last bad bout was about 10 years ago and everything in my life has change since then. So I must not pull from the past. Mostly Im positive but get overwhelmed and frustrated at times. Kind regards Tracy

anxiety revisited

White_Rose — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 03:02:24 GMT

Hello Tracy

I think what I was trying to say is contained in your reply. So thank you for helping me out. Maybe I should have more coffee before I reply to people.

I definitely agree that trying to fight any mental illness becomes counter-productive. But try saying that anyone who is in the throes of battle. Don't consign the whole of the past to the dustbin re ways of coping. Some of them may still work for you even in a different situation. Good coping strategies will see you through a lot, even though the situation changes.

One thing I have noticed is that watching TV or using the computer just before going to bed can make sleeping a difficult. Have you tried reading before bed or have you ever tried meditation? This is a good way of winding down.

Great news about the sugar and also with vitamin D and iron. These also take a little while to take effect. I also take vitamin D. I thought it was just not getting enough sunlight and meant I needed to get out more but my doctor says that as we get older we naturally lose or receive or make, whatever, vitamin D.

Being unwell is always frustrating I have found. Can your GP find a different psych that does not charge so much? I agree with you that charges are high. In some ways it's better to go to a psychiatrist because the gap fee may not be out of your reach, and you can go for whatever period of time is beneficial. A mental health plan only allows for ten sessions per year. But a psychologist may be more appropriate. We really should not be put in this situation of not getting help because we are not well off. Perhaps the pollies will forgo their next pay increase and put it into mental health rebates?

I have just got a mental health plan and I have told my GP I will not be able to see the psych after the ten sessions because of costs. I pay $40 gap at the moment but this is at the top of my budget. Do you take an antidepressant? Perhaps it's time for a review? I have started a new AD as all others produce horrible side effects. These are the SSRI and SSNI drugs. Now taking one of the original AD from the tricyclic group. It appears there's a lot to be said for older things.

Mary

anxiety revisited

Lost_Girl — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 04:59:29 GMT

Hi Tracy,

I really do understand about putting up a front. I think that's why I withdrew from seeing so many of my friends because it just became harder to pretend that things were manageable.

It must be so hard for your daughter too. Has she joined BB to look at support?

My psychologist is bulked billed. I am on the health plan but there is no gap. Can you ask your GP for alternatives or if not perhaps try a different GP or call the BB helpline to see if they can point you in the right direction?

You mention that you and your daughter give yourselves a hard time about everything and that it's not helpful. I think sometimes when everything feels really hard it is easy to fall into that pattern of negative feelings and thoughts. Maybe the psychologist can give you some strategies for building each other up instead.

I hope you can find one that will bulk bill. I am finding mine really helpful.

I had gestational diabetes with my 3rd pregnancy so I also know how much better I felt in myself emotionally when my sugar levels evened out. I am glad you've seen a little improvement there too.

Happy to chat whenever you need.

Take care,

Carol

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Thu, 17 Mar 2016 23:36:13 GMT

Im sorry I only just worked out how to get my messages.

anxiety revisited

Lost_Girl — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 04:56:44 GMT

Hi Tracy,

No problem at all.

Have you had a chance to read through some of the replies you got? There are some great suggestions there.

If you want, give us update on how you are feeling and what you've been doing. Only if you want to of course.

Here for you,

Carol

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 21:10:02 GMT

The truth is I feel like Im improving. I havent stopped doing anything I need to do. No matter how crap I feel. I know what I need to do but dont always make the right choices for myself. Such as having a couple of drinks with my partner. I also smoke and know I need to give up.

I had a setback last week, with my son suffering ocd and not coping well. He started a new job last Tuesday and his ocd is work related. I realize now that I cant take it away from him, he needs to work out his skills and I just need to listen.

The advice given has been invaluable to me thankyou.

Im also very excited as my daughter is staying with me tonight which she hasnt done for 2 years. Lets face it I made bad choices when my marriage broke up. Seeing men. I know why, I was lonely. I cried every night on the week I didnt have my girls. I have asked my daughters forgiveness and she says she does but it has taken all this time for her to stay with me. The stupid what if I have in my head is will I panic while she is here.

hugs to all

Tracy

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 21:14:20 GMT

Hi Carol, it not so much that I feel I cant give my children enough its the guilt I feel with mistakes I ve made. I dearly want to be comfortable around my girls and son. A stupid fear Ive had is that I will panic around them.

anxiety revisited

Lost_Girl — Wed, 23 Mar 2016 02:36:30 GMT

Hi Tracy,

It is great to hear that you are feeling positive steps to improve things. I know you mention you have things to work on but acknowledging these is also a huge step in the right direction. Great stuff!

There will be setbacks time to time but having the knowledge on how to approach these when they happen is really useful. It sounds like you handled the setback with your son ok.

It also sounds like your daughter has found a positive change in that she feels comfortable to come and stay. That's wonderful.

Is it possible to talk to your daughter about your fear? I am not sure if you are comfortable doing so. I think sharing what you're worried about up front could alleviate some of the worried feelings you are having but I don't have much experience with anxiety.

Everyone has lapses in judgement, especially when we are in a highly emotional state and feeling lonely. We just cope the best we can at the time. To me, the mistake is only the impact to your child's feelings and that they are possibly not experienced in life enough to empathise with how you were feeling at the time. It sounds like they are considering it in terms if the impact to them, not in terms of how you were feeling or what you needed at that low point. Maybe forgiving yourself first might be a good step. It seems obvious that you never intended to cause pain to your kids but I don't think you should beat yourself up about wanting to feel less lonely at the time. (Hugs, if you'd like one of course).

Thinking of you and hoping you have a lovely time with your daughter.

Let us know how it goes and don't forget we're hear for you.

Carol xx

anxiety revisited

awesomenesstocome — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 21:40:20 GMT

Hi Carol, you sound like such a lovely person and really empathetic. What you have said is all true.

As my health is improving im finding I am coping better. My daughter has stayed 3 times now and seems at ease and comfortable. One more positive step.

I lost my job a week and a half ago and have been madly looking for work. Which has set me back somewhat. I dont do very well with boredom as I think too much. lol. I need get some sort of project going around the house to fill in my hours of being alone. Its a long day as Im awake from 4.30 onwards. Sometimes I can get back to sleep other days I am not able. Racing thoughts and panic prevent this.

Thankyou for my hug, I love hugs.

Whats your story Carol?

Regards Tracy