Overthinking Overthinking

Frankee — Mon, 04 May 2015 08:34:12 GMT

I guess I should start at the beginning.

August 2012 - consider donating my eggs to a women who can not have children - find out I have a low egg count. I start talking children with my husband

September 2012 - my mother in law passes away

November 2012 - my grandmother passes away

January 2013 - my husband tells me he does not want children. and I need to decide if I stay with him (no children), or leave him (chance for children) - I left him

April 2013 - I do not give my previous 6 year relationship the respect and time it deserves, I start dating because I WILL find love again, I will get married again, I will have children and I will be happy

June 2013 - my anxiety starts

November 2013 - my new boyfriend (T) cheats on me, it takes me two more months before I'm strong enough to break up with him.

Its hard to explain how it started and what I go through. At its worst I would spend hours trying to decide if I should be with T or not, even before I knew he was cheating. I would question his faithfulness on a hourly bases. I would break up with him weekly and then beg him to take me back. I thought if I could just make our relationship perfect everything would be okay. If I could get him to react to situations the way I expect then everything would be okay.

12 months on and I'm a bit better. I have a new boyfriend D, but I still over think everything. He has't messaged me for 4 hours - he does't like me any more he's going to break up with me. He hasn't introduced me to his family yet - he doesn't like me any more he's going to break up with me. I made a big deal out of nothing - I've ruined it, he's going to break up with me. D didn't hold my hand at the shops today - he doesn't like me any more, he's going to break up with me. We don't have enough in common - he's going to break up with me. I have a through - it takes control and I accept it for the truth - no questions asked. Everyday I over think every interaction we have and wait for him to break up with me.

Its been a long road. And with counselling I am slowly learning my need for control, knowing 100% that the relationship I am in is the right one, is causing me unrest because I will never know.

I know my anxiety is situational based. I was caught off guard by my ex-husband's decision not to have children and I don't want to let myself be caught off guard again. I won't let myself be caught off guard again (hello anxiety).

And that is my story. I feel good for putting it out there.

Overthinking Overthinking

white knight — Mon, 04 May 2015 14:07:28 GMT

Hi Frankee, welcome

Well you are doing everything right. Maybe you need some psychiatric care and guidance as well IMO.

Panicking the way you describe isnt uncommon and it is a serious issue for us. But thankfully we who have gone through the wringer with it know it is curable or at least manageable.

Some relaxation classes and lessen on deep breathing and muscle tensioning exercises would be of great benefit. They all helped me along with counselling and medication. But it is usually a number of things together that help you in the end...not just one thing.

Take care Tony WK

topic Overthinking Overthinking in Anxiety

Overthinking Overthinking

Overthinking Overthinking