topic The need to go bathroom is controlling my life .. in Anxiety

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

wither — Tue, 08 Jul 2014 02:15:10 GMT

For almost 15 years now I've had an issue where I need to urinate quite frequently when in cars, or walking, or when out and about... Well that's how it started out anyway.

It's gotten to the point a couple of years ago, where I worry about it so much, that I now have lots of safety behaviours around it. Things like even getting a hair cut are distressing now, or lining up in a supermarket line..

I think it's so engrained in me now, that it's just on auto pilot. It's almost like if there is a situation where I can't just leave on my own accord, the horrible feeling kicks in.

This causes me great distress and it stops me doing things like driving in a car, (I always drive myself) but lately even going small distances in the car is causing huge problems... It feels like I just need to urinate instantly. I even drive myself some times now, and get other people to go separately, so I don't have to face the embarrassment of stopping and putting everyone out.
I'm currently taking medication for depression (mostly caused by this!) and another which is meant to help with the anxiety, but it's not.

I was seeing a pysch, but her solution was to "just hold on for as long as you can, and sit through the comfortableness" .. This isn't a solution.

This problem is basically ruining my life and I really want to do something about it...

Thanks.

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

AGrace — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 03:42:34 GMT

Hi wither,

Your symptom is a very common one. I used to struggle with this (I called it the 20min bladder) and my stomach also played the same game. It got to a point that I wouldn't leave home because I was too scared that wherever I went wouldn't have a bathroom. I recall just wanting to be able to wear a nappy or have a potty in the car.

It's a bit chicken or egg like. The symptoms cause anxiety and anxiety in turn causes symptoms. Psychologists used to tell me to do all sorts of things, one even told me to imagine the worst thing that could happen, um hello, the worst thing was happening every day...I didn't need to imagine, it was reality! I was a training manager so you can imagine the fears standing for 8hrs in front of 30 people.

Ok, so what helped?

Antidepressants, when you're on the right one, at the right dose these can have an impact on slowing down bladder function, they take up to 6 weeks to have an effect.

Anti anxiety meds are usually mood stabilisers, again with the right one and correct dose these can help with symptoms. Ask your Dr if you can take very small doses when needed during the day as well. They take a while to work but if yours isn't helping there are many options.

Try to avoid reiterating the symptoms. When you use techniques like not driving just incase, this is reinforcing in the brain the neural pathway that says "if you drive you will need to pee". Commit to actions despite the symptoms, this takes some practice.

See a urologist to rule out physical symptoms

Meditation to assist with anxiety

This sounds silly but I also use a mantra "This is only 1/100th of my day", it minimalises the problem in my mind

Drink liquids after your activity rather than before and avoid stimulating drinks with caffeine. Drink really cold water, it takes longer to pass through the body

Ok, I'll leave it there for now.

AGrace

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

wither — Wed, 16 Jul 2014 00:15:38 GMT

Hi AGrace,

My stomache use to play the same game too, but the anti depressents I'm on at the moment, seem to have stopped those issues almost altogether; which I am very thankful for.

Unfortunately the other side is the worst it's eve been.

You're exactly right about imaging the worst thing that could happen. Living with this issue, is the worst thing that could happen. It's a nightmare.

I've been on anti depressants for a few months now and I'm honestly not sure if they're really helping that much. They are keeping me in the "safe zone" so to so speak, but with the amount of issues I currently have going on in my life, I don't imagine there is going to be a pill that will really help me a great deal anyway.

I have another specialist appointment next week with a urologist, but I can see that's not really going to be of much help either. It's just going to be another one of those "it's in your head" conversations...

I don't drink coffee, or drinks with caffeine in them, so that's off the cards too.

I'm pretty confident my issue is that I have almost no control over my head any more and try as I might, I don't think I can beat this.

Trapped.

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

AGrace — Wed, 16 Jul 2014 00:52:16 GMT

Hi wither,

Thanks for getting back to me. Sorry to hear your symptoms have peaked. Good to know the anti-depressants are working with the other end, it might be worthwhile getting the variety and dose checked.

I hear you have another Urologist appointment, I know it seems like they continually say, it must be anxiety, but on the plus side of that they are making sure there are no physical concerns. Have you already been tested for diabetes?

In addition to seeing your Urologist were you able to get a Dr's appointment to request anti anxiety medication in addition to your antidepressant?

Did you have any success trying any of the meditation apps? One of my favourites is a youtube clip called 8 minutes to calm, because it's so quick I can do it as often as I want during the day.

Your right to be feeling like you have no control over your mind. As challenging as this feels, it's actually the case for all of us. The mind thinks and wanders consistently without our control. The brain is however neuroplastic meaning we can create new brain pathways and diminish the use of older ones.

I know you have tried Psychology appointments in the past with little success, if the Urologist can't find anything physical it may be worthwhile seeing a Psychiatrist. They will have a better knowledge on which medications will work and can also do some talking therapy with you - more than just telling you to sit with it.

Is there anything specific that's causing the depression/anxiety (despite your urological symptoms)? Sadly, if anxiety is the cause addressing these issues will be the biggest help. For me the anxiety stemmed from the embarrassment of potentially having to use public toilet facilities, or not having a toilet available nearby. All I wanted to do was stay home so that I was comfortable that I had my own privacy and could go as often as I wanted to. It was great short term but in hindsight I missed out on so much socially.

AGrace

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

M_A_D_ — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 06:25:49 GMT

Hi Wither,

Forgive me if you are female, but if you are male this message may be helpful.

I can honestly say that I understand what this must be like for you, and I am so sorry that you are suffering. My partner has a condition called chronic prostatitis which makes him feel the need to urinate most (if not all) of the day. He has had this condition for almost two years, and in that time we have seen many doctors and he has been on many different medications without any success.

My advice to you would be to get a referral to a urologist and speak with them about your symptoms. For your sake, I hope it isn't chronic prostatitis, but there are acute forms which are treated very successfully and quickly with antibiotics.

The symptoms my partner has include: feeling the need to urinate, clenching/contraction of muscles surrounding the urinary system, feeling like he can't sit down or stand still (when it is really bad).

If any of these things apply to you, my other bit of advice would be to do LOTS of exercise. As you exercise, the blood flow to this area increases, providing oxygen and nutrients to the prostate and urinary/reproductive organs. Although there is not a lot known about this condition, there is definitely something to be said about increased blood flow. As soon as he does even thirty minutes of high intensity exercise, he feels much better and can actually stand still.

I hope you find the answers that you're looking for and you feel better very soon!!

M.A.D.

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

wither — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 23:57:02 GMT

Hi M.A.D & Agrace,

I've read about chronic prostatitis previously and even took some pills from the pharmacy for a while to see if this would help treat it, they didn't do much though.

I have since visited a urologist as mentioned in the previous post and he gave me some medication. This was about a two months or so ago and it made me pretty ill whilst I took it, so I stopped taking it.

I went back to see him, told him this and he then suggested we do an internal examination. At the time I was running pretty low on money, so have not made the appointment to get this done yet. I'm probably going to go on the public waiting list to see if we can get this done this year.

Over all my depression is better than it was, but this bladder stuff is still driving me mental. I'm actually going to see a Chinese medicine & acupuncture person tomorrow to see what they have to say about this. This isn't going to cost me anything, so that's a bonus.

I would love to get the upper hand on this and not be limited by what I can do in life, simply because I need to go to the toilet when I feel trapped, away from the bathroom, or nervous....

There are threads all around the internet with this, with hundreds of thousands of people who suffer with similar issues. There must be a solution ....

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

AGrace — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 18:35:18 GMT

Hi Wither,

I wanted to check in and see how you went with the chinese medicine and acupuncture specialist? Did you also go onto the public waiting list?

You're right, there must be a solution, but I guess finding out the underlying problem comes first.

AGrace

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

fleetinglife — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 00:56:55 GMT

I have lived with the frequent urination problem for most of my adult life, but now in my mid 60s it appears to be getting a bit worse.

I was diagnosed with BPH (Benign Prostate Hyperplasia) a few years ago but decided not to commit myself to a life of taking daily pills, due to the side effects they cause, in particular, sexual dysfunction. My understanding is some men (don't know the exact statistics) develop a hugely enlarged prostate that severely restricts the flow of urine.

My problem is manageable in the sense that I can urinate without too much discomfort, however completely evacuating my bladder takes patience and and a few minutes.

A couple of years ago I stumbled on a "fix" that I've had good results with. I take 1000 milligrams of a garlic supplement daily at lunchtime with the meal. There has for me been a remarkable turnaround in the frequency of urination especially at night time, when I now only wake up once to pass urine and sometimes I sleep all night without my bladder filling up to the point of discomfort!

I have also taken other measures to mitigate the problem and these include:

Not drinking tea or coffee during the day (I have one mug of coffee in the morning with breakfast).

Avoiding spicy foods especially those with high chili pepper content.

Not consuming alcohol at night especially on an empty stomach. (I rarely drink anyway and usually, only socially so this was easy)

The need to go bathroom is controlling my life ..

quirkywords — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 01:08:20 GMT

Fleetinglife,

Welcome to the forum with your very helpful post.

This thread is 4years old now so many people may not see your post here.

You can continue posting here or could start your on post or browse the other threads here.

It is really kind to offer something that helped you on your first post.

Sometimes it takes a lot of trying different things that can help.

Quirky