topic relationships and bipolar, obsession in Anxiety

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Oz — Tue, 06 May 2014 23:40:44 GMT

Hi, I was being treated for many years for depression however was diagnosed with bipolar after a suicide attempt. Over the last 2 or so years Ive be obsessive about my relationship with a couple with whom Im friends with. I get upset if I dont get spoken to or not invited to things. Has anyone else had this kind of situation with bipolar? The situation is out of control, I cant seem to control myself, stalking their FB, going out of my way to come into contact with them.

Any advice welcome

relationships and bipolar, obsession

geoff — Wed, 07 May 2014 20:47:01 GMT

dear Oz, firstly thanks for posting on here, so welcome aboard.

I am sorry for your diagnosed condition, but I also wonder whether this illness extends to also having OCD, because when someone mentions the word 'obsessive or obsession' indicate to me that they may also have this illness.

Maybe you can get back to us and tell us if you have been diagnosed with OCD. Geoff.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Oz — Wed, 07 May 2014 22:58:05 GMT

Hi Geoff

I havn't been diagnosed with OCD. I constantly feel like Im missing out. Like things are organized and Im not invited. Although this isnt always true, it does seem to happen. Over the years Ive moved mountains for people but I dont seem to get anything in return.

The whole things leaves me sad.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

white knight — Thu, 08 May 2014 11:22:21 GMT

Most interesting Oz. Geoff might be asking a good question. Some people suffering one illness can have a little of another and another. I'm certain I had some ADHD when much younger but unlikely I have any now.

I cant help with your question directly however I'm wondering if this has something to do with fixations on people, what they do, what they say and how they react/dont react.

I have this fixation trait. Friends that upset me or visa versa for example. Time seems the only healer because an apology from either side doesnt make issues vanish, it only closes the door a little quicker. Until then my mind is on them day and night, losing sleep, talking about it to my wife endlessly. Medication has eased these symptoms.

There are ramifications for being so close to a couple and risks. Rejection could shatter your world. Take care.

My post is to tell you that you are not alone. I have bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

geoff — Thu, 08 May 2014 15:30:44 GMT

dear Oz, I just wonder whether you have watched the video on OCD when you logon, plus would it be possible to search on the net and google OCD, as White Knight has all these awful illness's, as they just seem to attach onto whatever we are suffering from, so anyone can become the predominant one. Geoff.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Oz — Fri, 09 May 2014 00:47:00 GMT

Thanks Geoff and white night

Fixation is an apt word for how I act. And insane jealously. Not of their life, but of their friendships they share. Two lovely couples who get along so well, Im thinking their is no more room for anyone else so Ill stay on the outer, liked, not loved perhaps.

I wish I was alone with this illness as I wouldnt wish it on anybody

relationships and bipolar, obsession

white knight — Fri, 09 May 2014 03:19:27 GMT

Dear Oz, Social media can mirror similar symptoms in that it can easily become an addiction. Obsession/addiction....similar lines I think. I want to mention mind control. Because dwelling on issues with people as I do some say "just dont think about it" well I just cant do that. My only remedy is to divert my mind onto other pleasing things like hobbies, sports etc. To force yourself away from your friends presence isnt easy but it is a necessity and must be done. You have to break away.

If you can accomplish this even a little bit at a time, you will likely enhance your friendship with this couple because they will enjoy the extra time alone with themselves and be happier to see you because you will have developments in your life since you saw them the last time.

Grab a calendar, mark on it a reasonable period of time between visits and stick by it. Spread your time between other friend or activities and try to get your obsession into a more normal perspective.

It's a challenge. Without challenges we are at the mercy of our uncontrolled minds. Best to be in control. hugs

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Oz — Fri, 09 May 2014 04:00:17 GMT

Thanks white knight. That does make sense!

Things feel worse at the moment due to the fact Im not working. I was self employed but sold my biz to have a break. 3 months later Im starting to get bored. Time to start work again methinks.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

HighwayToHell — Fri, 09 May 2014 06:09:08 GMT

Please be careful, Oz. Relationship obsession, addiction, fixation whatever you want to call it, is dangerous, regardless of which diagnosis causes it.

Maybe you should go and see someone before things get out of hand before to act in a way that has irreversible consequences?? It is a fine line between finding excuses to run into certain peole, and stalking. It is so easy to fall into.

We Bipolars are terminally bored and perpetually dissatisfied. We take everything very personally, tend to act out in all sorts of, er, inappropriate ways and we also have very powerful personalities - a power which is not always channeled in the appropriate direction.

Best of Luck

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Oz — Sun, 11 May 2014 06:11:26 GMT

Thanks HTH, Im being very careful.

Trying to stay away, which Im doing well so far.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Over_It1 — Mon, 12 May 2014 09:29:19 GMT

Hi Oz,

I'm also Bipolar only recent diagnosis. Like yourself I to can get obsessive about family and friends along with jealously and through alot of research and help from my 3 medico's have come to realize that for me its Bipolar with psychotic features/ paranoid psychos. Just something you might wish to discuss with your Dr's since there is help available to alleviate these symptoms.

Good Luck

relationships and bipolar, obsession

BecomingAThriver — Thu, 15 May 2014 01:20:34 GMT

Interesting..... Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder have some very similar symptoms and often get misdiagnosed for each other. It sounds a bit like you feel like you are being 'abandoned' by your friends to me, if you have BPD, then that would be one of the worst triggers you could have.

The good news is that you can get help for either disorder, the bad news is that you need help to get through both. This is just my opinion but feel free to discuss it with a psychologist / psychiatrist.

relationships and bipolar, obsession

CraftyDivaz — Fri, 25 Mar 2016 10:28:38 GMT

Hi Everyone,

I'm so glad that I stumbled on your post Oz! I jave had trouble with very similar issues in my life, I did wonder if it's directly related to the bipolar or other possible emotional or mental health issues but never really went into it so deeply for quite some time and never got a definate answer on it being a type of "symptom".

It can be so hard to live with feeling as though loved ones are leaving you out of activites etc. It can be so hard to remember sometimes that even thouugh we can be aware some of our negatives emotions are only due to sumptoms etc, as a human being with emotions you can't help but wonder if sometimes you are right.

It's a question of figuring out which percentage of times we perceive such events can actually be true versus our being fixating, obsessing or paranoia etc. Also, even if we decide that it truly feels like we are being left out, how often is it happening, and how we choose to act and think. We can either run with our negatives feelings and thoughts, or choose to let it go and distract ourselves from time to time. (As long as we are not truly being treated badly by the people we are thinking about)...

If you truly believe they are your rel friends, they want to spend time with you etc, then I agree with all other comments about it being best to work through your negative perception of events.

Trying not to waffle on and repeat too much, hope it makes sense.

CraftyDivaz

relationships and bipolar, obsession

saviourseth — Sat, 02 Apr 2016 00:09:11 GMT

I think you just helped me understand myself a lot better highway to hell. Thank you.

I think i must be bipolar and have been since i was very young. I keep getting diagnosed with depression but that just seems to be the tip of the iceberg.

Going to do some more reserach on it.

Thanks again

Saviourseth

relationships and bipolar, obsession

white knight — Sun, 03 Apr 2016 14:12:35 GMT

Hi Highway to hell

Great post re: "We Bipolars are terminally bored and perpetually dissatisfied. We take everything very personally, tend to act out in all sorts of, er, inappropriate ways and we also have very powerful personalities "

Spot on. And its all very interesting.

I waffle on also. Google an article I wrote about that - "Topic: Do you ramble on- a talker of mental illness all the time?- beyondblue". Interesting that my mother does, in a chronic way. On the phone for hours a day repeating herself.

Now I believe ther eis a link in my bipolar, depression anxiety ills with my mothers chronic BPD (my guess as she is in total denial). Perhaps I should just say she is a narcissist alone not BPD as there is no diagnosis. I covered that in this thread you all might be interested in reading-

"Topic: Children of mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder BPD- Beyondblue)

As for boredom "We take everything very personally" I think there is a link.

google "Topic: boredom, the close door to fun- beyondblue"

Great posts here. Thanks

Tony WK

relationships and bipolar, obsession

Tams20 — Mon, 14 May 2018 03:39:42 GMT

Hi everyone,

Old thread, everyone has probably moved on.... but I'll give it a go. I am suffering from this problem at the moment. I'm Bipolar II (recently diagnosed) and I've developed a fixation with a friend of mine. She is a relatively new friend and we have become quite close, I've become obsessed with spending time with her... I seem to place far too much importance on our friendship, prioritising her over all of my other friends (and sometimes even my family). She can make me feel rejected and abandoned so easily, for saying or doing things that would never bother me with anyone else.

We have a lot in common and we get on well. I actually think she also has similar issues with me, to be honest, she has gotten a bit jealous of me spending time with other friends and has been a bit over-sensitive at things I have said and done at times... she is adopted and had a rough childhood and youth, so she is carrying some pretty heavy 'baggage'.

I actually think we are as bad for each other as we are good for each other... I desperately want to stay friends with her, we have common friends so avoiding her would be detrimental to my social life, but am finding it very difficult to manage this.

Any advice would be useful - if I can get the thread started up again!

Tams