topic Adults with imaginary friends/worlds? in Anxiety

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

tulpa — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 18:52:58 GMT

I've been suffering anxiety and depression a long time, have had several trips to the psych ward. This is going to sound a little weird but I've always been a heavy daydreamer, imagining fantasy worlds and far off planets recently I looked into it it could be called a paracosm or even maladaptive daydreaming, at any rate I read further and something called a tulpa can be created which is a fancy way of saying imaginary friend I'm thinking of going for it I only have 1 or 2 friends in the real world. I just hope this won't cause me to shut off further. Haven't told my doctor about this one either.

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

Zeal — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 00:15:42 GMT

Hi Tulpa,

Welcome to the forum! When you were admitted to the psych ward, did you receive treatment from your own doctor, or just from the ward nurses? It’s great for your doctor to be as involved in your treatment as possible. I’ve heard of people having no personal friends, so it’s great that you have one or two people you can spend time with.

Frequent daydreaming is not always an issue. Some people just have a very vivid and overactive imagination, and may even use this as a tool to control anxiety. Being able to immerse yourself in creative, imaginary worlds is an ability not many people can truly master. You could delve into these imaginary worlds when you are at home (not with others), as a way to relax after work or study, and you could daydream when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed. This could be like an alternative to meditation! I read fiction to relax.

As you have pointed out, there is a risk of you becoming so immersed in these worlds that you become less attuned to reality. I strongly recommend telling your doctor about this daydreaming. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Who knows, maybe you could turn your daydreams into a written story? 🙂

Try setting aside time for yourself to daydream (if you can just “switch” on your daydreaming, that is) that will involve minimal interruption in your day. So, you could daydream at night when you are getting ready to sleep, or first thing in the morning, before you start getting ready for work, etc.

I hope something I said was helpful!

Best wishes,

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

tulpa — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 04:25:30 GMT

thanks for the reply, yea I had my psychiatrist treating me in the psych ward, I guess I gotta talk about the constant daydreams with him next time I see him.

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

Beltane — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 11:02:34 GMT

I really really agree with SM's response. Many people do have a very active and vivid imagination, i myself have many vivid daydreams like this. Infact i too became concerned about it and got all in a panic and went running off to my psychologist thinking maybe i was going crazy.

She asked me one question that completely got rid of all my anxiety: "Do you know the difference between reality and the daydream". I said, "yes, of course". Then she said, "you dont have a problem".

We had a longer conversation after that, very much about what SM said. About how the vivid imagination is a way for our minds to find relaxation and peace, it can even be like a type of meditation, or a very vivid movie or fantasy novel. Its a way for an over-active brain, or even an over-stressed brain, to just chill out in a world where everything is just the way you want it to be,

Basically, in my case, we agreed that it was more the result of too much stress in real life which kinda makes my brain go into daydreaming as the "relaxation" coping technique. The important thing is as long as you can clearly and easily distinguish between reality and daydream, then its ok. Also, for me, it was really important not to ever BELIEVE the day dream.

For example, lets say i have a silly argument with my boyfriend over something. Because i'm stressed, my brain then goes into daydream mode where it daydreams lets say: an amazing 100% perfect dreamboat boyfriend. The important thing for me to remember is that THAT dreamboat boyfriend doesnt exist. Hes not real. there is no-one and nothing in this world that is anywhere near as perfect as the daydream, so i cant ever believe the daydream. Like, dont break up with my real-life boyfriend to go and find daydream boyfriend!!!

As SM mention it is possible to use the daydreams for good- often when i'm stressed about something i try to daydream ways that it will work out. Like say i'm nervous about meeting friends for coffee. Well i might daydream about going out for coffee, and the yummy cake i'll order, and the fun conversation i'll have, and how we'll laugh and joke. I'll basically daydream a wonderful time, and this helps me feel less anxious about the real thing!

Works for me 🙂

you're not crazy if you know the daydreams arent real

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

tulpa — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 07:47:03 GMT

Thanks, I have a few mental illnesses its nice to know that this isn't another to add to the list.

Adults with imaginary friends/worlds?

Beltane — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:12:23 GMT

ah don't you ever worry about that "list" of mental illnesses. many of them share symptoms or appear similar in some ways- at the end of the day its only a medical label to try to figure out what the problems are and what possible treatments might work for you.

always remember: you are a PERSON. you are a whole person, with likes, dislikes, strengths, flaws, interests, dreams, hopes, fears, loves, hates.... you cannot ever be summed up in a little medical diagnosis box.

i remember when i got diagnosed with bipolar... everyone around me who found out was all like "omg thats so bad, how are you coping with that blah blah". but to me, it made literally no difference. it's not like the doctor gave me the illness by telling me i had it- i already had it, i already had the symptoms, i already lived every day with the effects. the only thing that changed was now it had a name! To me that was really helpful cos it meant that we could find some treatments. and we did, and now the issues i was having arent anywhere near so bad.

So dont get hung up worrying about "how many diagnosis's" you have or what they are, at the end of the day you're a whole person who happens to have a couple of issues, just like every other human does, only difference is your issues have a fancy medical name.