topic Hi, and wondering what my problem is! in Anxiety

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 04:11:36 GMT

Hi all,

I'm 25 and a Police Officer. I've been in the job for only four years and can't say I've every really thought the job has had an impact on me in a psychological sense. In saying that there's obviously been good days and bad days however I see that as being just like any other job, although I guess the difference is a bad day in a normal job might be getting the shits with your boss or a customer or a client, or being late, or sending an email to the wrong person, whereas a bad day in the cops might be a fatal accident or a suicide or anything. I get to see the best and worst in people and society as a whole which is special and a part of my job I love.

I would say that I am an old head on young shoulders and I often get told I should really be a 50 or 60 year old! Perhaps this is because I am already looking forward to retirement at my ripe old age haha!

The reason I am here is to try and perhaps understand what is wrong with me, if anything, I think I may have some of the symptoms of anxiety and/or PTSD. In saying that I feel like I am making a big deal of nothing or blowing it out of proportion making how I feel something more dramatic than it is, as when I think about the term 'PTSD' I associate it with someone who's been in the job a lot longer than I have and has seen and done more.

The guts of my situation is that just about every night when I goto bed, unless I am very tired I often take a long time to get to sleep. In that time (and some nights are worse than others) if I hear a noise, a creek, anything, or the dog barks at something outside, or I hear a car driving down my street which is pretty quiet and in a small town, I panic, lots. I can feel my chest thumping and automatically think someone is up to no good, or is going to break in, or do something, anything! I stare out the window, stare at the shadows on the wall from the light coming in just incase I see movement, or a torch, but hope that I see nothing. I hate the physical feeling of my chest thumping, I hate the panic and I hate the worry.

The next morning I always think "well that was ridiculous". I don't know why I'm like this, I've never been broken into or had anything 'bad' happen to me, I can only assume that perhaps it might be associated with work in some way, or perhaps I'm just the worrying type… I don't know.

If you got this far thanks for reading and let me know what you think as I'd really appreciate some feedback.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Jo3 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 06:33:28 GMT

Hi Andy

Can I just say that you guys do an amazing job. I can imagine that being in the police force is a tough job dealing with all sorts of people.

It sounds like you are suffering PTSD/anxiety. Is there someone in your workplace that you can get some help? Even your GP? I would imaging that the police force would have professional help for officers that need help.

I wish you all the best, I hope you do seek help.

Hope you let us know how you go

Take care

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 06:41:51 GMT

Thanks for replying Jo, and thank you for your comments, it's always nice to receive a thank you and know that not everyone hates us.

Yes there are luckily a number of avenues that I am aware of, I just wanted to jump on here for an informal approach to it first, just to hear from others that may have experienced similar feelings such as the thumping / fluttering chest, or similar feelings of utter panic that later they realised were perhaps an overreaction.

Last night was a particularly bad night, the worst I've had in a while, so that's why I thought I'd start searching for some support.

Cheers, Andy.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Jo3 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 06:47:47 GMT

Hey Andy,

I have had quite a few panic attacks before. The last one was on a freeway while driving home from work in winter. I pulled over on the side of the road and called the police station. The officer on the phone kept me calm and stayed on the phone until an officer came to me. They could see I was in a bad way. In the meantime they called my husband and he came to pick me up. If it wasn't for the officer at the police station I don't know what would have happened. I ended up giving him a box of chocolates to say thank you!

The chest thumping, you feel like you are going to pass out; trembling body and being so damn scared of not knowing what is going on.

I am seeing a psych and have been for 3 yrs and he gave me some coping skills to cope when I do have a panic attack - deep slow breathing, being mindful of where you are and just telling yourself that you will be okay.

I wish you all the best, hope you keep in touch here

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Stephen123 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 07:58:45 GMT

Hi Andy, welcome to the forum and I,d just like to say I also think you guys do an amazing job. I come from a similar background to you. I don,t think you have too much to be worried about but having said that it wouldn't hurt to get it checked out. I would imagine that there are quite a few older police officers that would have had severe PTSD and been forced to retire because of it. Before you go and get yourself checked out though, I would be inquiring about income protection insurance and the like, I think you might find that you,ll be discriminated against when it comes to insurance. You guys do a tough job and I think the insurance premiums are a reflection of this. You are doing the right thing keeping tabs on your mental health in a very stressful job. The first psychologist I ever went to see was from the employee assistance program, I was 4 years into the job and had a complete nervous breakdown. I lasted 18 years before being medically retired,my latest diagnosis was chronic PTSD. My regrets are not ticking the little box that said extra income protection on my superannuation and not being able to stick the job out for another year when they gave out redundancies. But such is life. I have never experienced the symptoms you have explained, I think they are DEFFINATELY worth getting checked out. Just beware insurance companies and human resources. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have of me. Good luck Andy.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Pixie15 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:48:28 GMT

Hi Andy,

I think police do a great job too. You probably see the best and worst of humanity. If you are only worried at night going to sleep, and everyone is vulnerable at night, have you tried doing some practical things to make yourself feel better. Listening to music or watching something that makes you laugh. If you had a dog you would know that you will be alerted if there is danger. Whatever helps you feel safer. Peace.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 22:37:29 GMT

Jo, I've not experienced anything like that before however I could only imagine that would be quite scary.

I'm sure your thank you to the person that helped you would have gone a long way.

Andrew.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 22:42:34 GMT

Hi Stephen,

Thanks for the reply.

The thing I'm concerned about in talking to someone at work / EAP is the stigma of "you've only been in the job for four years", and I don't necessarily want anything recorded on my personal file at work at this stage.

I guess I'm just testing the waters to see what others such as yourself have experienced and if they're in any way similar to what I've felt.

Having seen quite a few people even in my short time get out of the job on medical grounds that seems quite a stressful process in itself.

Thanks again for your reply and I'm hoping you're doing well.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 22:44:38 GMT

Hi there LevelGround,

Thanks for your comments I appreciate it.

Andrew.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Chris_B — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 22:51:32 GMT

Hi Andy88,

My experience with using EAP is that the process is entirely confidential. The workplace only gets told how many employees have accessed the service, as they get billed for it, but they don't get told names and nothing from your counselling sessions should be disclosed to anyone without your permission. But you can always give them a call anonymously and check this out before you make an appointment.

EAP is there for any issues you're having to do with work stress, the psychologists who see you should be non-judgmental but again you can discuss this over the phone before you see someone.

best
CB

_________________________________________
Online Community Manager

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Jo3 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 23:28:04 GMT

Hi Chris & Andy

I did see an EAP counsellor end of last year when I was made redundant. They were very professional, confident and very helpful.

I saw this psych for about a month and no one at work knew I was going. So it is kept confidential.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Andy88 — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 00:18:04 GMT

Hi there CB,

Thanks for that, might be worth a phone call then.

Andrew.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Stephen123 — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 01:38:19 GMT

Hi Andy, I must say that my experience with EAP was excellent, and they were very annonymous. One of my issues is paranoid delusions so I reckon that is saying something. I think you are going about this exactly the right way, you are just testing the waters. I don,t think I can really help you much, I,m not ex police for one even though I worked in police stations, gaols and courts for many years, I was a prison officer. So I have some insight into your world. If you want to read about the worse case scenario for police officers there are few very interesting police pieces at the injured workers support network website I think the worst story I read there about an ex police officer famous from the cronulla riots developed severe PTSD lost his marriage, home and ended up bunking up with a mate on $400 a week from workers comp and he nearly lost that because of the nsw workers comp law changes. Very sad. Another article stated this was quite a common story. I,m sorry to be so doom and gloom. I think what you,re after is an ex police person that can identify with your signs and confirm or deny wether you are experiencing PTSD. Even if you did find such a person I don,t think it would help much, I mean I don,t think it would make the symptoms go away. I honestly think your only option is to get this checked out as confidentially as possible, Christopher's advice is on the money I think. I think advances are being made in the services but I think it is very important that people that want to keep an eye on their mental health are afforded the utmost confidentiality. For me it's like seeing a dentist the more lollies you eat the more you are going to need the dentist, the more trauma one witnesses the more they are eventually going to need a psych. I know you are resilient at the moment but do you really want to let witnessing all that trauma get bottled up inside you without going to get your teeth. I hope I haven,t made this issue seem worse for you I,ve tried to explain myself as best as possible. Whatever you decide Andy good luck with everything. And I still think its a good idea to check out that income protection thing.

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

mum — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 13:29:41 GMT

Dear Andy 88,

concerning your night time problems, I have anxiety and if I hear a car slow down near my house or rev etc I can feel my heart and anxiousness start. Then you cant get to sleep cos your waiting to hear what will happen next, you cannot relax till the sound of that rev or screech is out of ear shot, you tremble all over. I have only quite recently bought a bottle of RESCUE REMEDY 20 dollars fm the chemist all natural, put 4 drops on your tongue just before bed, its amazing. I refuse to take sleeping pills. When I saw a psychologist she suggested I count backwards or look around the room at the objects and while you do this your mind isn't flying. You didn't say if your thoughts keep you awake my mind is always busy lol. good luck young man, Mum

Hi, and wondering what my problem is!

Mary89 — Tue, 10 Dec 2013 00:56:26 GMT

Hi Andy,

well I have experienced the exact same problems at night that you have. And in the morning I would think "okay that was ridiculous". Because of this problem I would put off going to bed until I could no longer keep my eyes open and this led to me being chronically sleep deprived.

I had these problems getting to sleep and getting scared/anxious at night for quite a while. And this wasn't a major issue in itself. However I think this anxiety at night was a warning sign because in the past few months I have developed full blown panic attacks and severe anxiety. And I can see now those feelings I was getting at night were the beginning of my anxiety. Maybe if I I had realised that earlier I could have prevented my anxiety from becoming as severe as it did.

Hence I would suggest seeking help before it gets worse. I didn't think much of the difficulties getting to sleep but then my anxiety snowballed and became very severe.