topic Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to in BB Social Zone

Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 00:39:15 GMT

Hi, its been a while since ive been here but im feeling very isoated and alone. i struggle to make and keep friends in the offline world. i could use people to just talk to. i could go a few days without really talking to anyone unless its a work related question.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Ggrand — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 02:12:45 GMT

Hello Dear Starts,

You can talk away here sweetheart…as you know that even though we can’t physically see anyone on here…great friendships can be formed…

I don’t really have many r/l friends…..the days I work (3) are the only time I talk to anyone in r/l….the other 4 days I just stay at home, doing nothing really, even sighting people around my area on those 4 days is a no go…You’re not alone sweetheart and you can talk here anytime you like about whatever you feel like talking about…

We are all here for you❤️, with our care and support..

Hugs sweet butterfly🦋..

Grandy….

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Fiatlux — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 02:27:08 GMT

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a very quiet reserved person and never really the outgoing type. I think even growing up that I was always untrusting of others. I was fearful of a lot of things and situations. All of this fear stem’s from early childhood trauma.

During my life a had 1 close friend at school with whom I had an understanding as we both came from rather dysfunctional families. My other best friend outside of school was a guy about 1 year older than me. He was fun and we enjoyed doing the same things. Sadly my friendship with these 2 people drifted away once I was married. I rarely saw them afterwards.

I honestly can’t say that I have made friends with anyone thereafter. I was at different stages of my life close to my sisters. 1 older and 1 younger. I missed that sisterly closeness as sadly they also drifted out of my life.

Sometimes online friendships don’t work in the real world.

I don’t know anything about you so why don’t you reintroduce yourself here.

Kindest regards, Fiatlux 🙏🏼

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

sbella02 — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 07:39:28 GMT

Hey startingnew,

Welcome back to the forums, we're glad to see you again.

As much as this is an online medium, I hope that our presence here can offer some reassurance, as we're always here to listen. Places like Reddit and Discord can also be really good for finding friendships online with people who may have similar interests or life experiences.

Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could perhaps use to find connections in real life? Any sports you'd like to try, or organisations you'd be interested in volunteering at? Even if you have the capacity to take on a course in something that you like. I recently did an acting course, for instance. If you'd be comfortable trying out some of these activities, these can also be great ways of meeting people.

We're here to chat, if you'd be happy to talk more with us. :))

Take care, SB

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 02:21:18 GMT

thank you Grandy i honestly dont speak to anyone except clients when i have them or those that need something from me and usually its brief. i have someone that i go walking with usually close to every day and shes good tobe around but i also get so tired being around people when im already unwell. its so hard, i want friends but sometimes my energy also doesnt allow it

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 02:26:17 GMT

Hi Fiatlux

I am a young person i first come here a few years ago after i had experienced sexual abuse but am learning to move forward. i work in the caring industry as a carer at home and a support worker in the community but because of my various illnesses its hard for me to work to much.

i am also a really quiet and reserved person but i also have attachment and abandonment issues thanks to borderline personality disorder. i also suffer from anxiety, c-ptsd, depression, as well as POTS CRPS Trigeminal neuralgia and a neurogenic bladder (basically makes me incontinent now despite being under 30)

i have a couple of pets but one sadly passed away a few days ago due to her age so being home for me is tough currently as i owned her for the last 16 years

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 02:31:46 GMT

Hello SB

i like to do arts crafts, crochet, walking, horse riding. a massive part of my life was horses but since being injured and aquiring some medical conditions it makes riding hard now and its become a rareity rather then several times a day like i use to.

i tried attending a youth group but i didnt make any friends and i felt like i couldnt fit in. i grew up fast so many of the things typical young people were experiencing i wasnt interested in or couldnt relate to. i also tried a craft group but the group closed down and was mostly elderly that didnt really want to speak to me or anything much.

i use to volunteer on reachout as a peer mentor but i unfortunately not long aged out so no longer have access to that and have been on another forums for carers as well

i use to attend a disability group but i found i was getting more depressed because no one really worked on themselves so it was all just everyone ranting and it got to much for me to listen to everyone just ranting and not wanting to help themselves.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

sbella02 — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 09:29:42 GMT

Startingnew,

It's nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry to hear about your accident as well. I can see how not being able to do horseriding may have taken a bit of a toll on your mental health.

It sounds like you may benefit from a program where everyone else is also motivated to find new connections and achieve similar goals. If you like arts and crafts, crocheting, and walking, you could even try having a search for courses or clubs that would appeal to you in these areas. Even if there are any forums for horse lovers or people who enjoy horseriding, these may also be useful, if you can find some in your area.

Would this be something you'd be willing to try at all? I understand that it can be daunting if you're on the reserved side or if your anxiety persists when you're around people, but you may surprise yourself if you'd feel comfortable giving it a go.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Croix — Sun, 20 Sep 2026 13:08:16 GMT

Dear @startingnew ~

It's good to hear from you after so long, alll hte people you asked about are still on hte forum so you may well be able ot catch up. Flagging them with the @ symbol is a good way of starting.

I remeber you going right back to 2017 or so, though you have of course posted since. My memory is a little hazy but I do remember you amassed an amazing number of posts and were always helping others in their threads.

Back then I think you mentioned you suffered PTSD, something we have in common, and have in your posts above given more detail - life has certainly given you a hard row to hoe.

You had been studying and passed a medical related course, my apologies I don't remember exactly waht it was 🙂 but passing shows tenacity and overcoming the many difficulties you face.

May I ask if you are still a carer and community support worker? With your experiences I think you would be invaluable.

I see you have still a butterfly logo, even though it has been slightly changed over the years, something very appropriate as it is the Beyond Blue symbol too.

I would look forward to it if you felt like bringing us up to date with what your life is like now and what's happened over the intervening years.

Croix

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Wed, 23 Sep 2026 22:41:36 GMT

@Croix you have a far better memory than i thats for sure, its really thoughtful of you to remember those details about me

yes i have C-PTSD, major depressive disorder, BPD and suffer from psychosis. i did pass that medical course which was great and had continued my studies as well. i just finished a diploma in mental health and community services.

i do still Support work and social services though im not a carer anymore for family as they are now n a nursing home. i was homeless for quite some time after that which contributed to me not being here but i was finally able to secure my very own first rental. it took me a little while to set myself up so slept on an air matress and used paper utensils etc for a while but im all set up now and more independent.

i do enjoy my work as as social and community worker though and have been able to enhance my skills even more through the courses ive completed plus more work experience opportunities as well. the most challanging one but the one i enjoyed the most was actually the hospital services!

unortunatley due to a new medical diagnosis i may need to retire in the coming years despite still being young as with this new physical disorder i may loose vision, and ability to drive a car as well as becoming more dependent on others for support wit daily living skills.

i have applied to NDIS so im hoping my supports can be funded soon rather then me having to pay privately. it was be so valueable to me to have proper and consistent supports

thank you very much about your kind words about previous postings, i hope to be able to support others again now that i have access to my phone and laptop and internet properly again.

butterflies are oneof my favourites, i find they represent hope and resilience

its really lovley to hear from you

how are you? what is your latest news if you dont mind sharing?

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Sandra — Thu, 24 Sep 2026 07:44:59 GMT

Dear Startingnew,
a lot of your story is similar to mine, though I have quite a few years head start 🙂
i have multiple autoimmune conditions which have completely reversed my previous life. I was driven, ambitious and about to start my new life in research after completing a 4yr degree. Necessitated by PTSD ‘injury’ from my previous marvellous dream job. I rebuilt my life, and headed off to Uni.
Now I am mostly house bound from my conditions, and everything is a struggle. My old depression I could cope with but my new life has brought so much change. I am unreliable, anxious, antisocial, and in pain. These days on new meds I get out of bed each day (brilliant) but rarely get dressed. I can make brunch and use my gopher to check the ponies and ducks, I crochet up to an hour a day (or it canes my hands) and watch a lot of TV. I love science and documentary programs. I have a deep love of David Attenborough. I need to recline or lay down mostly rather than sit due to back conditions. I rarely go off the property.
I am generally exhausted, sore, and depressed by the time my husband gets home from work. He mostly makes our dinner.
my once neat as a pin little house isnt fit for a brothel, and there is 1 1/2 hoarders living here ) so the place is cluttered and dirty. Which does make me more depressed.
I used to have a brilliant brain, quick, orderly, and an excellent memory. These days I forget simplest words, and my brain chuggs along at the pace of a snail. 13 years it has been since my world turned.
I have only ridden a handful of times since. From a life of riding, competing, and training every spare moment. My ponies are still here, though my young up and coming star is 20 years old this year. He is still beautiful, but we arent the close pals we were.
too jolly frustrating.
the only hope I have, is a faint , sticky, unshakable sense of hope. What will the future hold.
Like I say to my husband, enjoy everything…you never know when it will be taken away.
warmest wishes

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Croix — Thu, 24 Sep 2026 12:02:41 GMT

Dear Startingnew~

That certainly is a whole mix of things, though I'm impressed. You competed your Diploma, which takes a fair bit of application, and are still working in an area where you provide important help to others.

Actually while your professional qualifications and development may be an excellent grounding for your work I suspect because you have a range of mental health issues, have cared in your home, and gone home-less and are gradually regaining place to live with all the necessary bits and pieces you are in an excellent position to understand a lot of others with very varied experiences and offer them the exact help they need.

May I ask what it was about your hospital work expereince appealed to you?

I'm very sorry to hear of your degrading eyesight, a terible blow limiting your movements and making you more dependent on others. I wish you the very best with your NDIS application and want to urge you that if at first it does not succeed then try again. It can be quite an expensive exercise getting the medical reports you need but well worth it, particularity if one of your medical team is prepared to do more than write a report but go to bat for you -an advocate in other words.

I would think you are a very resilient person, having coped with all life has thrown at you and I'm confident you can adapt to any new disability and still lead a worthwhile -and enjoyable- life. There are two members I know of in this Forum who have very limited vision and rely upon technology to post here and help others.

I don't mind sharing my life with you, though it is not terribly exciting I'm afraid. As you can see I'm still around and posting to others and find it gives me structure to my life and satisfaction to counter the sadness I so often see here.

In fact so to ensue this place is somewhere one can come and see the better sides of life as well as the worst I have thread that people use to say what their good memories are

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here/m-p/265309#M23809

If you get a chance have skim through (or even post there:)

Apart from that my body is letting me down with a variety of disabling conditions though apart from increacing fatigue I'm still able to sit and write (with supervision by my cat Sumo who sits at me left elbow as I type:).

As you have pointed out consistency in medical and practical support is highly important, though underrated at times, and I wish you well with them.

I enjoy talking with you and hope we can continue

Croix

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Croix — Thu, 24 Sep 2026 12:41:17 GMT

Dear Sandra (wiht a wave to Startingnew for using their post)~

I'd like to than you for supporting Startingnew so ably. I've read your own thread and can rest assured that the mask you have to employ with some others is not needed here -there is no need to pretend. In fact you have not pretended in this post and I suspect that is as good for you has it has been for me. That mask just isolated me and made me feel the huge gap between myself and others with their ineffectual 'comfort'.

A house is a place to live in, it is not a home, and in a home neatness does not count, relationships and love do. You do really understand this, you describe your partner's help, the animals you are with and show courage and an ability to look forward. That is a great example to all those that read here

One of the failings of humans is to react to first sight and not look deeper, so those with difficulties are not seen as clearly as the whole people they are, you are showing up just how whole one can be.

I remember when I met my best friend for the first time, he was unable to move properly and needed a sophisticated wheelchair. And I'm afraid that chair was all I saw until later when I got to know him. Now I too need crutches or a wheelchair at times -sigh.

It is difficult what the brain does not perform as it once did, however though is only part of it's function, the other is one's nature. My partner was always hopeful even though her condition was not, and all the fun and kindness remained when her memory was not the best.

Please give your "up and coming star" a treat (carrot, apple etc) for me if you can reach

Enjoy today, you never know what will be added to it, not just things taken away!

Croix

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Sandra — Fri, 25 Sep 2026 00:37:42 GMT

Croix, you are such a comfort.
You have a unique gift to draw out positivity.
I really, really appreciate you sharing that gift.
It made me feel that sticky hope a little more fully, and I expect that will follow me today.
and hope is everything really.
I will most assuredly give my Davy pony a carrot for you. Ianto (yan-toh) and Xena will need some too, as favouritism is very frowned upon in the Jones family. (Mum, Dad, and baby Ianto)
thanks again, may the road rise to meet you.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Croix — Sat, 26 Sep 2026 13:23:18 GMT

Dear Sandra (with a wave to Startingnew for using their thread)~

My pleasure. I really do appreciate your reply. I does me a power of good to know I've been of assistance. As a Champion I do post to a lot of people and it is though responses such as yours I know I'm doing some good (at least part of the time:).

One think I do know for certain is that one way to turn a horse's velvety soft warm muzzle into a sticky slobbery mess is to feed it carrots

Croix.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Fri, 02 Oct 2026 07:25:21 GMT

Hi Sandra,

Thank you for replying, thats very kind of you

i am under investigation for autoimmune disorders currently but its abit of a process. hopefully in the next few months after a few reviews theres some answers.

i can imagine all the changes youve experienced have been a challange too. do you have any support people?

Like you i spent alot of time by myself unless i'm at work but these days its a struggle so my hours are greatly reduced now.

i also have horses though i dont see them much anymore, the younger siblings look after the family horses now

im glad youve found the forums, theres always someone to talk to really.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

startingnew — Fri, 02 Oct 2026 07:36:33 GMT

Hey @Croix

Thank you for responding

i wouldnt say im resilient as i ended up in a psych ward again across the last few days hence my absence again. ive applied to ndis 3 times including with an advocacy service so now im going higher through the tribunal system with another advocacy service so hopefully ill hear by the end of the year about that.

I liked having the hospital experience as i was able to meet alot more people but not have to have long term status with them. it gave me more focus to get what they needed and discharged home safely. there were some home follow ups but I wasnt the primary carer i could go in and make sure things were going ok and the services that were linked in were attending support sessions etc. Found it more suited to have turnaround clients rather then consistent clients-which is also nice but this was more challanging and gave me more to do.

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Croix — Fri, 02 Oct 2026 12:23:04 GMT

Dear Startingnew~

Sorry to hear you went back to the psych ward, though in my case it is something to fall back on, I hope it does the same tihng for you. Being out of hte world for a while can help recharge and distance oneself from daily hassles.

I can certainly see what you mean in having short term clients as apposed to long term. This is something that happens a lot here at the Forum, always presenting new challenges and learning from others.

As you are getting more time on your won have you anything you enjoy or engrosses you during those times. Satisfaction can be found in all sorts of places, catalogueing my film and book collections in a database with an old comedy program playing on the speakers lets the time slip by, reminds me of the films and book themselves and I have something to show for it at the end of the day.

No horses for me either nowadays, though Mrs C and I are introducing the grandkid to riding and horse care. So far there has been no biting (by the horse) , kicking, squashing/brushing off or falling off so I guess that is as good a progress as any 🙂

Croix

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Blazedrag20 — Fri, 02 Oct 2026 12:30:28 GMT

hey I completely understand how you feel I have just started to reach out to people

Re: Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

Lana026 — Fri, 02 Oct 2026 23:47:57 GMT

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling so alone at the moment 💛 Going a few days without really talking to anyone can make everything feel a lot heavier, especially when making and keeping friendships already feels hard.

I’m glad you came back here though. Sometimes even having a space where you can just chat and not have to pretend everything is fine can help a little.

You’re definitely welcome to talk here about whatever’s on your mind, even if it’s just everyday stuff. Sometimes connection can start really small 🤍