topic Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums! in BB Social Zone

Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Sophie_M — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 04:47:37 GMT

Hello to our wonderful forums community!

We have decided to run an ongoing Big Blue Table thread ‘Forums Edition’ until the end of October! 🎉

What is a Big Blue Table? Big Blue Table is Beyond Blue's signature event held during October, Mental Health Month. Big Blue Table encourages people host a meal with their friends, family or colleagues while fighting the stigma that surrounds mental health.

So why are we running one here? The reason we are doing this is so people have an opportunity to connect with others and have the experience of sharing their thoughts and feelings over a meal, no matter where they are in Australia.

We know Mental Health Month can be a vulnerable time for many and believe this thread could be a safe space for people to be heard and learn from others’ experiences.

Our community champions will be here to support you along the way, and our moderation team will be around to answer any questions you may have, as well as to ensure the thread remains respectful and safe for everyone.

We encourage you to choose from the following questions to start a conversation:

What do you do to look after your mental health?
Are you comfortable sharing your feelings and emotions? If not, why?
What are you passionate about, and why?
Who would be your dream Big Blue Table guest, and why?

After you have shared your answers, we would love to hear about what you are eating or bringing to the table. You can even tell us a little bit about your setup and what you can see around you to really immerse us into your world. This is your opportunity to be as creative as you’d like! But remember, there is no pressure or ‘right’ response, whatever you bring to the table will be more than enough.

💙

We hope this thread allows you to feel connected, supported, and a part of the Big Blue Table initiative. Now… get cooking!

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Ggrand — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 18:58:47 GMT

Welcome everybody to my Big Blue Table……🤗..

I have set up my big blue table under a very special tree….away from the business of everyday chaos…..with a view of a lovely waterfall which cascades down into a river where ducks have made their home…

I brought along some cakes, biscuits, sandwiches, pizzas, sausages rolls and party pies…and have gently asked if your up to it, to bring a plate of food to add to it…..no pressure to bring anything though….drinks are coffee, tea, and anything your beautiful self desires to drink….Let’s just enjoy everyone’s company….

If I was doing this BBT (big blue table) in real life…I wouldn’t be able to…as much as I would like to, I can’t talk in front of people, I mean, I know what I want to say in my mind, but my brain refuses me to do that, I don’t know why but I feel very vulnerable and too scared I’ll say something wrong…I am more of a listener then a talker….but give me anonymity a keypad I can talk without those feelings…

Lets get this BBT off and running…two topics of conversation suggested was about our passions…and what do you do to look after your mental health, These 2 go hand in hand for me….my passion is my go to, to help with my mental health…..I’m passionate about nature and the beautiful creatures that live in our universe, trees are especially meaningful for me…no tree is ever alike they are unique each one of them….I have a gumtree opposite my home…it’s huge, early morning, the birds that come to visit the tree gives me and the world a beautiful orchestral sound of bird songs….if you look towards the sky, you’ll see that I (magically) transported my gum tree to this very park and we are all sitting under it…amazing isn’t it…..sitting/laying under a tree, just looking up towards the blueness of the sky, the green leaves gently dancing with the soft breeze, the choir of different birds…all help me to ground myself into a better head space…..Thats why I decided that my BBT will be somewhere, that I hope, helps everyone that’s joining in, to have a peaceful experience…

Take your time, as much time as you need to talk, eat and drink…. be kind to everyone because…kindness doesn’t cost anything, but it’s the most priceless gift you can give anyone…

Hugs, love and care everyone..🤗🩷🦋🌈..

Grandy..

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Fiatlux — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 21:58:44 GMT

Hi everyone,

Before I forget, I would love to invite all the lovely people who have helped me and interact with when I need a shoulder to lean on.

It would be an honour to have James Elder from UNICEF at my table. He seems like a beautiful compassionate person.

When I decide on a menu, I will post some more shortly.

Grandy, I would love to be on you table.

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

indigo22 — Thu, 17 Oct 2024 03:57:59 GMT

Hi everyone,

My BBT would consist of a candlelight meal with soft music playing, laughter and tears, compassion for all at the table and a safe place for honest conversations.

What I currently do to assist with my mental health is read mental health and spiritually based non fiction books, I find they help me to understand my reactions better. I do not listen to or read the news, as I know that this is detrimental to my wellbeing. I see a psych one a month and work through things from the past that are still effecting me either through talk therapy or tapping (EFT).

For me, this is the perfect setting as I have been isolating for many years. However. I have recently been getting out into the garden to do some long overdue weeding and cutting back of bushes that have gone berserk. Nature is one of the best ways to help the mind, body and spirit heal.

When covid came along I made a choice to become vegan, and have kept to this ever since. One of my favorite things to eat is a bowl of steamed vegies (potato, pumpkin, cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, carrot etc.) topped with a big dollop of hummus. That's what I am bringing to the table, what will you bring?

All are welcome, vegan or not, everyone has the right to choose what is right for them without judgement.

indigo 💜

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Eagle Ray — Fri, 18 Oct 2024 00:46:40 GMT

Hello Everyone 🤗

In terms of what I do to look after my mental health, I go out into nature regularly which always has a balancing effect for me and I can feel my nervous system calm down there. I also try to maintain contact with good people I feel safe with. I have realised connection is everything and I need those two things - nature and meaningful connections with people - to be well.

I am like Grandy, I find it very hard to speak in front of people and don't reveal much about my emotions and life to others in everyday life. I know this is because I was taught early that expressing needs and emotions was met with punishment and judgement and wasn't safe. So I became very quiet as a child and kind of stayed that way. It's different here on an anonymous forum where I feel much more able to express feelings and emotions.

I am passionate about photography which I love in all its forms and never get tired of doing it. I love going out and taking images through to processing them afterwards. My first loves are landscape and wildlife photography, but I also love street and urban photography, architectural photography, basically everything! I would love to do underwater photography and aerial photography as well!

My dream BBT guest I think would be Peter Levine who developed the Somatic Experiencing trauma treatment method. His approach has helped me more than any other. I recently read his autobiography and the impacts of child trauma on him were very similar to how I was impacted, so it makes sense I was drawn to his approach which understands the world in a way that really resonates with me.

I love the sound of Grandy's BBT table near the waterfall with ducks (I love waterfalls and ducks) and I also love the sound of indigo's BBT table with candlelight, soft music and warm communication with laughter, tears and compassion. So I have merged those two things in my imagination. And I look forward to hearing of your menu offerings too Fiatlux which I am sure will be delicious. I have always loved Lebanese food and I've brought some lovely, fresh tabouleh salad and yummy baclava for dessert 😋

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Eagle Ray — Fri, 18 Oct 2024 00:58:58 GMT

P.S. Sorry that was meant to be spelt baklava, not baclava. People may read that as balaclava which won't be very tasty to eat!

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

indigo22 — Fri, 18 Oct 2024 02:38:13 GMT

I love Baklava too 💞

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

quirkywords — Sun, 20 Oct 2024 01:16:57 GMT

Grandy what a lovely post and description of your table. I have sort of street library where people take books from outside my house where I display my books. It is a place where people come to can’t take books. It is calm and friendly. I am known as the book person of my street,

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

sbella02 — Sun, 20 Oct 2024 07:28:58 GMT

Hi everyone! Lovely to read through this thread, and also to read through the yummy things everyone is bringing to their table. I'll add my own plate - strawberries, blueberries, grapes, dates, and a variety of other fruits.

Here are my own answers:

I do a range of things with regards to my mental health. I have a beautiful group of friends and family who I love spending time with. I journal whenever I'm feeling upset or angry, and I also write music and sing. I try to focus on healthy expressions of my more difficult emotions.

I think I'm relatively comfortable sharing my feelings and emotions, but it is context dependent. It's more that I'm comfortable expressing when I'm not doing okay, as I know my friends and family will respond in a supportive and caring way.

I'm passionate about music, psychology, writing, painting, empowering people... lots of things.

I have a few dream guests, Michelle Obama is definitely up there - I've always viewed her as a very inspirational and empowering figure in the media who seems intelligent, down-to-earth, and confident. I think I'd find a lot to learn from her.

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

mmMekitty — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 13:10:24 GMT

Fantastic idea for a thread, Sophie_M. Sorry I' wasnt' around in October to catch this one when it was timely, but I trust it's never too late! (At least my cherry in cherry juice Jelly keep well.)

I struggle with maintaining any sort of passion, even for things I've enjoyed a lot. Lately I've been doing my best to keep up an interest in finding & listening, singing & dancing to music from a particular website. I've already chosen a bunch of Xmas songs. Now I'm going through & selectin g many songs from The Beatles. It jogs the memory, & I feel a happy nostaligia. I'm also finding songs I don't remember hearing or maybe I've really forgotten half the songs I had heard so long ago when my family had several albums, which we listened to often. & I'd sung many of the songs, too.

I do struggle with talking openly to most people about the state of my mental health, I'm nervous about the person I'm talking to wanting to know more detail about my past than I'm comfortable with revealing. I'm nervous about the reaction I'll get, too. It has not helped that recently, someone I had thought would have had more understanding & compassion, didn't. I felt an urge to, on one hand, defend right to my own perspective & thinking I have some sort of responsibility to explain how it was that I had no control over how others have treated me, & how my immaturity & efforts to protect myself led directly to my current, less than optimal, mental health state. & this was not even a family member. I feel so inhibited about opening up to anyone except my Psychiatrist just now.

I just thought, having seen her recently on tele, I'd love to invite Courtiney Act, an icon of the LGBTQIA+ community (& beyond), an intelligent, vivacious person who could be a role-model to us all, of someone who has made a conscious choice to live with personal integrity & it seems to me, nothing is going to hold her down!

Oh, I nearly forgot... what I do for my mental health... mostly it seems to be comeing down to some very basic things, things which also benefit my physical well-being. I know I'm not doing everything I understand would be in my own best interest to do, but for now, getting myself into a better physical shape, by eating better, getting exercise, & including more social sorts of activities into my life are what I'm focusing on.

I hope this Big Blue Table is always available here, all yer round, for us all to chat & explore our thoughts & feelings together. For me, writing has, for a long time, been how I have started the conversations I want to have with others. First, I write to get my mind organised & to put some thoughts out there, in my computer, maybe only to myself, but also, here, to this community, in preparation, & to begin to feel brave enough to speak aloud - still so afraid to speak my own mind.

I'm afraid stigma still exists out there. We may even carry some internalised stigma ourselves,

Now, that's something to chew on, eh?

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

Hi mmMekitty, Thank you for sharing your thoughts so ope...

Sophie_M — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 13:23:21 GMT

Hi mmMekitty,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly--it takes courage to express what you're going through, and it's clear you've been reflecting deeply. It's wonderful to see you finding ways to reconnect with music and moments that bring nostalgia and meaning. Your mention of taking steps toward improving your physical and mental well-being is inspiring, especially in the face of challenges.

The Big Blue Table is such a great space for these discussions, offering a supportive environment to explore feelings and experiences. Your voice adds so much value to the conversation, and I hope you continue to find strength and connection here. You're not alone, and your journey is important.

Hugzies right back!
Sophie_M

Re: Big Blue Table - Right here on the Forums!

Eagle Ray — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 13:49:35 GMT

Hi MK, Sophie and All,

MK, I just want to say I love Courtney Act too. She’s such a great person! I was watching her on the Shaun Micallef show Eve of Destruction the other night which maybe is what you were watching? I love how she has her little comfort blankie thing called Fluffy that she’s had since she was a newborn baby that she’s kept all these years 🥰 I like the program that was on a while back where she interviewed people - One Plus One. She would be a great guest at the Big Blue Table.

I relate to what you say about being cautious revealing personal information from the past to people. I think the most understanding people I have found have generally been those who’ve been through similar experiences or happen to have a lot of empathy. They have to be the right people to share with otherwise sometimes it’s more beneficial not to open up certain vulnerabilities.

Thank you for all the lovely energy and thoughts you share here ☺️

Big Hugzies,

Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

Sophie_M — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 14:36:17 GMT

Hi ER,

Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful reflections. It's wonderful to see how much appreciation you have for people like Courtney Act, and how meaningful her presence has been for you. It's touching to hear about the comfort and nostalgia tied to her blanket story--those small, personal details really make such connections feel special.

I also really resonate with your perspective on sharing personal experiences and being cautious about vulnerabilities. It's true that finding the right people who empathize deeply or share similar experiences can make all the difference. Your insight into the balance between opening up and protecting oneself is so valuable and relatable.

Thank you for the positivity and encouragement you bring to this space. Your kindness and genuine energy shine through!

Big hugs,
Sophie_M

Re: Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

Eagle Ray — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 17:46:32 GMT

Thank you so kindly Sophie_M ☺️🙏

Re: Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

indigo22 — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 08:47:13 GMT

Hi mmMekitty,

I haven't seen your name pop up for a while so just wanted to say hello and let you know you were right, I did need some more help after all. Have been seeing a local psychotherapist who does somatic work for about 12 months and now realise that much of the past is still stuck in the body. It's a process but better out than in so they say. Glad you are back posting.

Take care,

indigo 🌻

Re: Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

quirkywords — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 09:35:06 GMT

Hi all

just seen this thread. I have expressed my feelings in other posts.

Today is 5 years since my house and shop were burnt to ashes. I find the longer the time is the more I feel the grief and loss. Does anyone else feel like this.

I wish people the strength to express themselves and find their demons.

Re: Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

Eagle Ray — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 11:28:49 GMT

Hello Quirky,

Anniversaries like that can be really hard. I do think that grief and loss is sometimes felt more over time because initially we are often in shock straight after a loss and so we are kind of numbed by it for a while. It then hits us more later. Losing your home like that is one of the most devastating losses and I can only imagine how hard it would have been.

I can relate to the experience of delayed grief in relation to a few losses in my life, especially losses that were sudden or ones that occurred close together or when a lot of other things were going on at the same time. I think we can only humanly process so much so some things get locked away for a while. I am finding the most helpful thing I’m learning to do with grief is to be really tender with it, to allow myself to feel it with as much gentleness and kindness as possible. I’m gradually starting to be able to do this now rather than feel so stuck and tormented by grief. It’s like it is beginning to move through and be less stuck. Even though I know it doesn’t completely go away I feel it’s changing form somewhat. I really hope for you Quirky that in time it will ease and be less painful. Sometimes it gets worse before it starts to improve. Sending you a comforting hug 💗

Re: Hi ER, Thank you for sharing such warm and thoughtful re...

mmMekitty — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 13:50:17 GMT

Hello Indigo & everyone,

Although, I am happy to drop in over Xmas & New Year, I won't be posting regularly nor frequently from week to week or month to month.

It pleases me to think you have found a local psychotherapist you can work with. As ER has said, being gentle with ourselves, treating ourselves with kindness, & the best of self-care is so very important. I imagine the somatic work will help you to listen to what your body needs, & in providing for your body's needs, you will be supporting your mental & emotional health.

& Quirky, it seems to me, such anniversaries, which occur in conjunction with a particular date or time of year, a memory might get branded in your mind but not readily processed. It is like how ER describes, that you've had to put processing the emotions 'on hold' while dealing with life moving on. It's okay to plan & take some time out to work through the loss you have been carrying.

Wave to SB & your creativity!

& Grandy, I also love the setting for the Big Blue Table you offer. It's beautiful.

& ER, Yeah, that was the programme I saw & I've seen One Plus One episodes, too.

Happy New Year, to you all.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty