topic Re: Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s in BB Social Zone

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 04:40:33 GMT

Hello Everyone....🤗.

have noticed that a lot of mature aged and elderly people are living alone and overwhelmed by loneliness...I though I would make this thread to give and receive support to each other as well as a place where we could also chat about any thing you want to chat about...so we can all get to know each other...Life’s not as lonely with others to talk to....forum friends can be a big help for us in not feeling so alone...

Share some tips, exercise, gardening, favourite meals, recipes, books your reading, hobbies, what you like doing.....pets and their impact they have in your life....anything at all you feel that would help other people struggle with living alone.💐...and loneliness..

I have a volunteer day..one day a week, which gets me outside of my home and into a different atmosphere where I can talk to the other volunteers and sometimes even customers, when I venture into the shop...Do you volunteer yourself somewhere...

I have 2 little Maltese x Yorkshire..that are my companions, they help me to get out of bed each morning to care for them....when really all I want to do is stay in bed.....

Please feel free to talk about what your interests are or how your traveling right now..

Looking forward to getting to know you...

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Moonstruck — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 01:45:33 GMT

Hey there Grandy....wasn't expecting to find you here on a new thread....of course we've seen each other around for ages now.......what happened was....I was scrolling through all the topics on Forum....and true they cover just about every human condition, which is commendable....and for the life of me, I could not find one specifically for "Ageing, getting older, accepting old age, the elderly" etc......

there's one for under 25s....but couldn't find one for over 65s!!! Is there one I have overlooked perhaps? Perhaps one of the moderators could answer this for me....is there a thread for "older people" and how they are handling it, physically, emotionally, mentally, socially.....all of it!!

In the meantime Grandy....thank you for this ...you may have started something...who knows? love from Moon S

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Sophie_M — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 03:05:41 GMT

Hi Moonstruck,

That sounds like a great suggestion. We routinely collect and review forum suggestions from the following thread if you'd like to made an addition - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/how-can-we-improve-the-forums-your-suggestions-and-comments-please/page/5

In the meantime, please feel free to make a new thread on the topic, possibly in the section 'Staying Well' for now. We're sure that many of our community members would be interested.

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 04:50:21 GMT

Hello Moon,

I was hoping this thread would take off reasonably okay...for getting elderly people together on here and talk about anything that interest them...like a social thread... with ideas to help each other not feel so lonely..but unfortunately it hasn’t taken off as I hoped...

Thank you for calling in and saying hello...it means a lot..

Kind, caring thoughts Moon..

love Grandy...

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Moonstruck — Sat, 24 Oct 2020 07:59:17 GMT

How are you feeling today Grandy and what have you been doing? Which do you prefer, the daytime or the night? I'm a night person....I feel much more relaxed and at ease within myself once the sun goes down....as if no one can bother me, no one can see me...it's like a soothing cocoon at night for me.

I don't have bright lighting on....subdued lamps and candles are what I prefer at night.....plus the semi darkness makes any dust or dirt invisible !!!

I can't do housework as good as I used to...simply because it hurts...my hip and lower back...and it's awful...what's the point? I'm not a natural slob...I like things clean...but just don't have the energy any more...are you finding that too?

I feel inferior when I visit others' homes sometimes....they're so "up to date" with the latest decorating stuff and I wouldn't even know what "the latest" is. I've never been interested in that sort of thing until now....perhaps I've been so busy in my everyday life, raising kids and rushing here and there...enjoying life with all its dramas..now I have more time on my hands...I'm out of practice in these everyday mundane housework type decorating stuff!!

So my place isn't really a reflection of me...which is what a home is supposed to be.....it needs a good reno....but every little bit of improvement costs money as you know...wish someone could nominate me to go on one of those Home Improvement Reality TV shows (which I can't stand) and get me a free make-over......not ME....my house!!!

Hope you are feeling reasonably okay today.....keep smiling...love from Moon S

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 01:50:06 GMT

Hello Dear Moon...

I prefer the nights...I don’t like going to bed...So I sit up until I am to tired to...I don’t mind what time I get up through the day, because there is nothing to do...déjà each day...and night...

My little house..I think is one of the first government houses to be made..they were made transportable back then as they were moved each time a government project was completed....The last move for my home is where it is now..They were moved here to complete the Dam...after it was completed the people in them, decided they want to stay here...There are under 200 houses in my village...

I like it here because my front neighbours are cows, kangaroos, rabbit, foxes, echidnas...and it’s peaceful just to sit out on my big veranda which is big enough for 2 single bedrooms...I have one out back as well....and watch them, especially the cows..

Its an old house which I love very much..needs work done, which I do occasionally...I have had to learn to do so many things being on my own with only the pension..

I googled about tiling, I tiled my bathroom..Also googled painting, which I’ve done...and a few other things as well...plumbing, changing tap washes etc...Living alone we need to learn these things or it’s big money...

Other peoples homes don’t bother me...I have what I’m capable of having and I’m very happy with my little home..I had a nice big home in the south western suburbs of Sydney, before we moved to the country..I hated it..it had no character...nor history..and to much cleaning...

Finding things to do throughout the day is hard with no motivation...My hobbies don’t give me any satisfaction or joy anymore..

Thank you very much for talking on here..I hope that others will pop in and talk about anything they want to..

My kindest wishes dear Moon..

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Moonstruck — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 13:25:49 GMT

Hello Grandy...just thought I'd say hello. It's late and I don't feel in the mood to read as I usually do..or watch a movie..it's an unfamiliar feeling to me which I've been having and I think I know what it might be..

I think I am lonely. In the past I've been "alone" a lot and don't mind it...this is different. Hard to explain. I like being "alone" because I always felt there was someone else ..there..that I would see again soon anyway..someone who loved me.

I don't feel "love" from anywhere now. I have never felt so terribly lonely that I can recall anyway. I can't sleep and had to force myself to make something to eat before. I felt I couldn't be bothered.

Just wanted to tell all this to someone and I knew you would understand....goodnight dear friend....x

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Sun, 01 Nov 2020 04:02:54 GMT

Hello Dear Moon,

I know that feeling of having loneliness and feelings of not feeling loved in the real world...I know my children love me..but they live to far away to feel it from here..and give me a hug...which really does make things feel better..Its been a year since I’ve seen then...I will be at home alone again this year for Christmas...Think I would get used to it by now...but do we ever get used to being alone 365 nights, most days x 24 hours...waking up alone, eating alone, shopping alone...some do..I wish I knew how to do it....

I think couldn’t be bothered eating comes with loneliness.. Dear Moon please try to fix healthy meals for yourself...it’s very important to do so both for our mental and physical health...A couple of boiled/poached eggs on whole meal toast is what I cook when I couldn’t be bothered...or even those ready made salads at Woolworths and Coles are another meal I do quite often....

I used to find it hard to sleep, even with my all in one anxiety/sleeper med...until I discovered adult sleep stories..on you tube..they go for an hour and the story teller takes me on nice peaceful adventures..I mostly fall asleep before the stories finished...Maybe you might like to try to listen to one tonight when you go to bed..

I have found that living alone..I have had to learn a lot about home maintenance..I couldn’t even change a tap washer before...Geoff has helped me at times, when I’m unsure of what I’ve read...

Moon..yes being alone is different from loneliness...I used to love my alone time when my husband was alive...I didn’t get much of it..I wanted more alone time..I think because we always had someone to go back to..or someone that came to us...is why that horrid loneliness feeling didn’t happen then...

Do you friends around you that you can phone up and talk to when you feel lonely...just to chat to?.

Thank you for sharing lovely Moon.....I appreciate listening to your words..and you as well dear friend...

Kind thoughts with my caring wishes..

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Moonstruck — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 00:15:29 GMT

Dear Grandy. I am so sorry I have ignored you for so long...but I did post on my old thread (to keep it alive and explain what has happened this past week and asking for advice) It's on "I can't find the right place to post" I think I called the thread. Mrs Dools saw it somehow and answered it.

It involves my grand child and social media, pressure about sexual matters at school and she is only 12, only a child....this is stuff she is not ready for to try and comprehend and work out....another parent of a student has also gotten involved encouraging her to indulge further and not to tell her parents etc....

it's dreadful and I've been sick with worry over her and how her parents are going to handle it...the school don't seem all that interested....this is a "child" we are talking about here...being contacted by an "adult"...and legally, that parent has not broken any laws!

I am filled with anxiety and even though it's not "my" problem to solve, I realise that, it's my family suffering here and when they hurt, I hurt....I feel so helpless. I am just one big ball of anxiety and despair and have others things to do that demand my attention....which is exhausting me when mentally I am so deplete.

just wanted to tell you why you haven't heard from me in a while...hope all is welll with you...love Moon S

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 10:42:51 GMT

Hello Dear Moon..

Please don’t apologise...their is no pressure here at all..

I feel you have every right to worry over your beautiful granddaughter..she is still a young child and what’s happening is very wrong...The other parent should be ashamed of themselves...So should the school...allowing this to go on.,.Is it possible to ring the department of education and express your concerns with them..or ask her parents to do so?...How does her parents feel about what’s happening.....I feel you have every right to protect your precious granddaughter...any way you can...

Maybe if possible you can sit down and talk about the best way to handle the situation with your family or even maybe if it’s possible with the schools headmaster/mistress, not sure if they can help you all or not...bit they should and also should show some concern about what’s going on..it might relieve a bit of your anxiety...to voice your concerns and your thoughts..

Awe Moon..Off course your hurting when your family hurts...it’s because you have a deep love for them...I think that’s a natural feeling for all loving families..I wish I could say more to help your anxiety...

Take things slowly Moon...please don’t push yourself to much nor be hard on yourself...your doing a great job supporting your family..and them knowing that your there for them is more then enough...

My kindest thoughts lovely lady..

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 01:43:33 GMT

Hello Everyone...

Yesterday was my first Tuesday home after I finished my volunteer job, due to not feeling unwanted...

I decided to not sit around and think about it..instead I thought I might vacuum the floors...and ended up doing a thorough cleaning of my lounge room....started by moving out the lounges and vacuuming behind and under them....Oh my goodness those tiny little annoying black insects that attack the lights at night..I must have vacuumed up enough to start a small pot plant off...😁..

Those horrid thoughts came into my head about why am I doing this..what and who for..it’s only me and my fur family...My answer this time instead of stopping what I was doing and have a cry...Was...Me...I’m doing it for me..I like my home clean..I deserve to have a clean home because it makes me feel better...so after a little rest I started to continue to clean...

My vacuum job, ended up with me washing windows and changing curtains to darker ones, due to the hot summer heat we have in the central west of NSW..Washing the curtains I replaced and putting them away for next winter..polishing my lounge room floor which extended into the kitchen and dining room...polishing furniture and ornaments..One last thing to do...light my candles then make a well deserved iced coffee..sitting on my lounge, I was so happy with how clean everything looked...and the aroma that the candles added to the room....

A small job that should have taken only 20 minutes to do, ended up taking up most of my day...and made me feel quite good about myself...

When living alone can be lonely, boring and we can get very unmotivated and our thoughts of why do I need to this and that... The reason is for you..because we deserve to do what ever we want to do...whether it’s cleaning, sitting in the sun, reading a book..sewing, crosswords....It’s our life to live the best way we can...

I am still trying my best to live alone, care about me..and be content with me...How are you all doing today..How do you all fill your days living alone?..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Rishie — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 20:01:30 GMT

HI,
Nobody seems to have posted here for a while but I found this thread and it seems to fit my situation well. I'm a 48 year old blind woman and I've been living alone for 2 and a half years.
I moved in with my best friends when I left home, and what a relief that was! We moved up to this little town and got us a house together. It was the perfect arrangement for me. I'm an introvert, so I need my own space and time alone, so I could have that and still spend time with my friends and go out together. They moved away in August 2018 because Maria's mother needed full time care. Of course I understood that, it was right for them to go, but it was hard and even harder because my fiance had died just a couple of weeks earlier. The loneliness was crushing and the days dragged on by.

I'm doing better now, I have a great Church family and I have a friend in America that I talk to by phone every day. We read the bible and pray together, listen to music and chat. I don't know what I would do without her support. I also have my little dog, and he is a wonderful companion.

As for my family, well we get on better at a distance. My mother and Aunt came up here before Christmas and tried to persuade me to move into an assisted living place, which I don't need, or alternatively to move down to Grafton where i have family. Thanks, but no thanks. I like it here, and if I moved away I would need to find a new Church, and make friends there, and I would need to find the same sort of help that I have here now. I have someone take me shopping once a week, and someone cleans my house once a fortnight.

Well, I'm rambling here. It's just nice to write to other people who understand.
I do feel lonely at times, though I find things to do. I read a lot, I play my piano and sing, I write poetry, and I have a couple of reborn baby dolls that I totally love. Living alone is good, but the isolation can be hard at time.

Well that is definitely enough from me for now.

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 00:50:33 GMT

Hello Dear Rishie!

Its very nice to meet you...I’m really sorry to hear about your fiancé...that must have been devastating for you...I have been living alone now 7.5 years after I lost my husband..it has taken me a long time to learn to live alone..

My children and their families live over 7 hours drive...I really don’t see them much at all because the trip is too tiring for my fur babies..I don’t like leaving them at home alone...I was happy to read you have a beautiful fur companion....

I think family get concerned about us living alone..you sound like a beautiful strong person who loves your independence...I love those re- born dolls and hope one day I can get one....I do have a small collection of antique dolls that sit in my lounge room and keep me company sometimes..,,We have a poetry page on the forums your very welcome to add your poems to if you feel like it...I have put a few of mine in there...but I think it was a couple of years ago...

Its been nice talking to you and hope you’ll drop by this thread again when you feel up to it.....and talk some more..this thread is for talking about whatever you feel you want to talk about...more for company and ideas to help others living alone...

Rishie....no dear lady..you are not rambling at all...this is what here is for..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..dear precious lady..

Grandy..

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Amelia02 — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 12:17:05 GMT

Hi,
I just want to say hello. I hope everyone is well.
I’m new here but was thinking of starting a thread for people who were interested in keeping track of goals they’re setting for themselves. I’ve found keeping track and keeping structure is more challenging when you live alone as I do. I find myself sleeping at crazy times and everything else going off kilter from this a lot. If there is already a thread for this type of thing let me know.

In the meantime I hope everyone is safe and dry with all this heavy rain.

Amelia

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 21:24:30 GMT

Hello Dear Amelia02,

A belated Welcome to the forums...

I agree about living alone and how hard it is to set ourselves some goals, then to carry through with them...

I think when we are living alone, it’s really hard to get motivated to do much of anything...

I seem to go to bed at all different hours, eat when I feel like it..,sometimes I don’t eat breakfast until mid afternoon.😂😂..don’t go to sleep until after midnight...hmmm everyday chores, only if I’m motivated enough to do so...

I have set a couple of goals for me...One, my main one...is to be able to just walk out my front gate...on my own and go for a walk feeling like I’m safe, instead of constantly looking behind and all around me...

Talk here anytime you just want to chat about...well anything you feel to...

I have a thread called “small achievements you managed today”..that you can search for in the search box...to help us keep a record of our achievements....I’m not sure if this is the type of thread your looking for...

If not.....you are more then welcome to start your own thread on keeping a record of your goals...

My kindest thoughts with my care, lovely Amelia..

Grandy,,

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Amelia02 — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 11:54:49 GMT

Hi Grandy,

thank-you for your welcome 🙂.

-sleeping at different hours - check
-eating whenever (or, ahem, eating all the time) - check
-chores - what’s that? - Sometimes. I do them sporadically.

I checked out your small achievements thread. I like it a lot.
I think I saw another thread you started? On manifestation too. I also like that! I will have to check it out more thoroughly.

That sounds like a quite big goal for yourself there. Perhaps you need to work up to it. Some people say feel the fear and jump in to it but I’m different. Not sure which approach you take.

I think I will start a thread for anyone who wants to get cheerleaders for themselves and their goal setting. If they are into discipline they can call it accountability 😶. That last emoji is me getting triggered on the word discipline 😉 hahaha. Motivation in whatever form people need it hopefully 🙂. I really need something to keep me on track.

That is a lovely sign off you have 🙂. I hope you’re having a lovely day/ night whatever you’re doing, A

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

mmMekitty — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 15:25:59 GMT

Hey Grandy, 😸I only just re-discovered this thread.... wondering, am I old enough?! Not quite ready for the Beatles song, nor the Age Pension... but I feel I past these a decade ago.

😺So, this is just a note, in case I lose this thread again...while I'm sleeping/listening to my audiobook.

Out tomorrow for more tests/scans.. it's like lions & tigers & bears, oh my! I am not really getting used to them at all. I continue to feel anxious every time I have to go for another x-ray, scan, test with/without dye or fasting...

Then, my helper said, we go for lunch & to visit her place again, now she has a new puppy! (That's 2 adult Labradors 2 varied cats, 1 kitten, & now 1 Labrador puppy. One adult dog is going to have puppies in early July, too.

I think the weather will be better than last time when it was raining rather too much.

😺mmMekitty🙀💤(I hope, for both of us)

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 04:58:15 GMT

Hello mmMeKitty and everyone...🤗..

It doesn’t matter your age at all lovely lady....Everyone is welcome here....

I am the same...with anxiety and going out...I’m okay if I stay in my car...it’s getting out and around strange people that causes me so much stress/anxiety....

I had an appointment yesterday and today...to have a halter monitor fitted yesterday and removed today....I thought I could go on my own as my support worker had forgotten about this appointment.....I did manage to drive nearly half way to my destination, before anxiety took over me....I stopped on the side of the road, trying to regain my control over my now ongoing panic attack....didn’t realise I stayed their for over an hour until I felt safe to continue....but by now my appointment time was well gone....I drove back home feeling disappointed in me....for not being able to do something so simple that most people don’t give it a second thought going to appointments etc...

My cardiologist did rebook me for another appointment in 2 weeks time...he also rang my support worker with the new appointment date....and said he will ring her the day before to remind her....

Your helper sounds like she really cares about you...and it’s not just a job to her....My first support worker was like that...caring and kind....made a couple of social visits to me outside of her work...makes a big difference to our mental health when people are caring....

I am pleased that you’re going to have a visit at her place and get lots of fur cuddles tomorrow, getting to visit all her gorgeous animals....I do hope you enjoy tomorrow...

Sending you my love, care and hugs dear sweet mmMeKitty..

Grandy...

Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

mmMekitty — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 08:23:32 GMT

DearGrandy,

For having this kind of anxiety with the panic attactks, I think you did very well! I understand how awfully disappointed you felt, though. I was exactly like that about going to the Dentist, & about anything gynaecological

I would suggest some practice runs, setting off as if going to an appointment on days when you don't have one. It may take a number of attempts, going a little farther each time, before you are able to drive yourself there.

& with some help & understanding from your Cardiologist, & a reminder to your support worker, I hope things go more smoothly when the appointments are due.

*I sometimes will decide on something to reward myself, even though I know the consultation with a Dr is for my benefit, to help myself & care for my health, I may still want to treat myself for successfully getting to the appointment, & staying, & listening, (but I do want my helper taking notes now), thereby keeping myself in the moment & not letting the thoughts & feelings lead me to panic.

Doing these things does take a lot of practice.

I still think getting half way is blooming good 😺

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

Re: Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s

Akasha_Torc — Mon, 25 Jul 2022 02:16:06 GMT

Hey there Grandy,

I really thought that I was alone in wondering where in the world Older aged people could go for support amongst my peers of at least 45 years and above, but I really haven't found that and am going to follow through and go to link for the suggestions page when I finish here. Sometimes it is so hard, some days I need someone to listen that knows what I am talking about when I have my really dark and down days. But I thought I would take a look when I am not having such a down day. Hope to chat more soon and with more, over 45ers.

Looking forward to getting to know you too,

Old, Fat and a little down