topic Funny poems and funny short stories in BB Social Zone

Funny poems and funny short stories

white knight — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 11:01:41 GMT

I'll kick it off.

THE BLACK WIDOW

The male black widow spider

tried all his life

he tried to tickle the hairy legs

of his larger black widow wife

Suddenly he had a win

something at last to gloat

she began to laugh aloud

as his leg slid down her throat

Poor male black widow

was always to get into strife

all because he couldn't understand

-the nature of his hairy wife......

Tony WK

Funny poems and funny short stories

white knight — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 04:41:00 GMT

A curious child asked her mother "why are some of your hair grey"?

Her mother replied "that's because of you dear, all the trouble you've caused me"

"Oh" said the child.....now I know why grandma has grey hair all over".....

Funny poems and funny short stories

white knight — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 09:15:04 GMT

I'm just a bored security guard in the depths of the darkest night. I scratch my left side botty with my left hand then my right. Then an ant appeared at my face to lift my eye lid high. To keep me wide awake to watch the apple in his eye. I'm just a bored security guard in the depths of the darkest night. I scratch my left side botty with my left hand then my right....

Funny poems and funny short stories

romantic_thi3f — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:59:08 GMT

Oh love a bit of humour therapy!

(This one was terribly lame and it made me giggle)

Roses are red,

Bacon is red,

Poems are hard,

Bacon

Funny poems and funny short stories

Simona — Tue, 23 Feb 2016 14:08:40 GMT

Okay. I will share a funny.

Last year i caught a mouse in the chicken's food bin. So i nabbed him super fast and placed him into a small plastic fish tank. Like those you get at Cheap As cHips ok.

I then placed the tank in the living room upon the fireplace mantel and just studied the little guy for a while. It was definitely a male and very panicky. I think he was waiting for something really bad to happen because it wouldn't stay still.

So i just moved away from the tank and left the lounge and came back with the Dyson. Yeah. I wasn't going to hurt the little fellow. I just vacuumed and done all the usual house work. I was waiting for him to calm down.

So anyway. I sat down here and typed some. Then got up and took some photos of him with my mobile (because i like action photography involving creatures). I sent these to my partner at work and to my brother in Melb who didn't understand what was going on and sent back a ??? text. Then i decided it was time to say goodbye because it made a mess and i didn't like looking at him anymore so i took him for a little drive until i found a good spot in the scrub and i released him because i forgave him.

The End : )

Funny poems and funny short stories

Lost_Girl — Tue, 23 Feb 2016 14:23:27 GMT

Still in bed after a bad night rest,

I got up the courage to say, "I'm depressed".

"Aha!", she said with a wink and a nod.

"You need a good hot iron for your bod".

I shook my head and cleared out my ear.

"Surely, I misheard you my dear?"

"Oh no", she said, "you heard me just fine.

You wait here while I fetch the iron".

"For what?", I said in a bit of a fright.

An iron will not help put my sadness right".

"Sad?", she said as she straightened her dress.

"I thought you said that you were depressed".

"I did!", I said my head all muddle.

By now I was feeling in need of a cuddle.

"Well, I'll get you sorted as quickly as 1,2,3.

In no time at all you'll be wrinkle-free!"

"Wrinkles!", I exclaim as the penny drops.

"You think you can fix me by ironing my top!?"

"Well that's not quite what I meant dear love of my life.

But I sure am greatful that you are my wife".

- Lost Girl original 2016 🙂

Funny poems and funny short stories

white knight — Wed, 24 Feb 2016 00:24:09 GMT

CHOOKA CHOOK

Chooka Chook had an angry look

as she washed her dishes dry

Her friend Pecky the hen...was taken away to be fried

And Rooty Rooster came to pass and saw Chooka sad

Her said "Don't be sad, be glad...you haven't been cooked, nor baked nor fried till your skin is black

Unlike Daffy duck, who got cooked till he couldn't quack

Chooka Chook no longer sooked,

she did her dishes fast

She never cried while she had her hide

she lived each day as her last.....

Funny poems and funny short stories

white knight — Wed, 24 Feb 2016 05:17:27 GMT

It was 1975 and I was an airman in the Air Force. I had been nabbed drink driving and so bought a pushbike to get me around the large airforce base. This bike even had a speedometer.

The second day I had the bike I rode it up a road with the sun in my eyes. I stared at the speedo as it edged 30mph (50kph) the fastest I could possibly pedal. Then wham

I woke up in hospital with the biggest headache. I'd apparently ridden straight into the rear of a large furniture van parked on the side of the road.

Feeling sorry for myself I noticed one of my friends in a bed opposite. I told him I was in a lot of pain. My friend looked at me and said "you think you've got troubles"......he then threw off his bedsheet to expose the biggest pair of mangoes I'd ever seen.

My friend had the mumps. I never felt sorry for myself for quite a while.

Tony WK

Funny poems and funny short stories

Doolhof — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 08:36:14 GMT

About the only thing I remember from English at school is the following poem:

Adam

had them.

Fleas!

Sorry English teachers! Ha. Ha.

Funny poems and funny short stories

Lost_Girl — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 10:34:14 GMT

Ha! Mrs.Dools, nice one.

Does anyone recall this?

The spring is sprung, the grass is riz.

I wonder where the boidie is.

They say the boidie’s on the wing.

But that’s absoid. The wing is on the bird.

Funny poems and funny short stories

Doolhof — Sat, 27 Feb 2016 02:39:19 GMT

Hi All,

I put pen to paper and came up with the following;

Once upon a time

In a land far away

Or was it only yesterday

In a land close by?

I don't recall if it was today

Or if it was close by or far away!

Now where was I heading?

What was I doing?

Ah! I was about to tell you a story

About a land far away

Or was it a land close by!

Oh dear! I have totally forgotten!

By Mrs. Dools

Funny poems and funny short stories

Simona — Thu, 17 Mar 2016 03:31:26 GMT

HAHAHAHA : D

Well this happened last night. I wrote a cryptic note and while partner slept I carefully buried it within his rolled up hard yakka socks he laid out for the morning.

So he woke me up at 4.30am holding the note and read it out 'POP WEASEL'. And he grinned and called me a unit before kissing my face all over with sloppy nana kisses. Well I thought that was just mega funny : D I have been drunk happy since and I don't even drink. I like hiding little notes in his clothing and steelcaps. It's my way of working the romance.

Re: Funny poems and funny short stories

quirkywords — Sat, 04 Mar 2023 22:45:14 GMT

Just saw this thread from years ago and was wondering if we can start it up again.

this is just something a child said to me. That funny and silly are the samething. Maybe for preschoolers they are as they found many things funny and silly.

For adults I think comedians and anothers can be funny but not silly and people can be silly and not funny.

I like to wear silly hats and dress ups but i dint think I am funny but being child like and silly.

I wonder what others think?

Re: Funny poems and funny short stories

Eagle Ray — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 07:02:12 GMT

Hello Quirky. I have to admit I find silly and funny to often be the same thing. I have a sense of the ridiculous. But not everyone does. A lot of people are into stand up comedy. I find that sometimes funny but quite often not that funny. But something absurd and ridiculous will make me laugh a lot. I probably prefer comedy sketches over stand up comedy. I like the incorporation of visual humour too. I do find Denise Scott quite funny doing stand up though. I think that’s because a sense of the ridiculous is often part of her routine.

It’s true that kids often see silly as funny. I quite like the Spike Milligan poem:

Today I saw a little worm wriggling on his belly.

Perhaps he’d like to come inside and see what’s on the telly!

I will then visualise this worm wriggling inside and making himself at home on a beanbag, cushion or sofa to watch tv. This reminds me of a program I saw once of a family who had a pet sheep who liked to come in and watch tv with them.

Re: Funny poems and funny short stories

quirkywords — Mon, 06 Mar 2023 12:00:55 GMT

Thanks eagle ray I like spikes poems too.
sense of the ridiculous keeps me sane.

Re: Funny poems and funny short stories

Eagle Ray — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 09:00:15 GMT

I agree Quirky, the ridiculous is sanity-preserving!