topic Members new and old, introduce yourselves here in Welcome and orientation

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Chris_B — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 04:13:22 GMT

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves. I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician. I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Jo3 — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 04:48:17 GMT

Thanks Chris for starting this post.

OK, My name is Jo, I am 48 married for 28 yrs and have 3 children (22, 21, 18). All living at home still plus one has their partner living with us as well. Oh and also my mother in law lives with us too.

I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress as a result of memories of my childhood sexual abuse which happened over 40 years ago.

I enjoy reading, knitting, swimming, walking down the beach with our kelpie Jersey and catching up with friends. I also enjoy travelling and hoping to travel south east coast of Australia next year with my husband. I work part time.

I really enjoy being on this forum because it helps me see that I am not the only person suffering. And it gives me strength to know that others on here are so supportive, genuinely caring and non judgmental.

I cannot recommend BB highly enough as the support given to me has made me stronger and I know that I have made so many friends on here. Truly amazing people.

Take care everyone

Jo xx

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

AGrace — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 06:25:22 GMT

Hi Everyone,

My name is Amber, I'm 34 years old, I'm not married but very happily living with my partner of 5 years and our cat Loulou. I'm originally from Adelaide, however for work reasons I ended up moving to Melbourne about 6 years ago. I used to be a training manager for a luxury cosmetics brand, however I made the decision to leave my employment late last year to focus on my health (I now call myself the CEO of me!!)

I enjoy spending time with loved ones, reading, chocolate, travelling, walking the streets of Paris once a year (my partner is French), contributing, movies, and warm weather.

Mental illness struck me at 15 when I lost my first boyfriend to suicide. I ended up with Post Traumatic Stress and Depression. Since then I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression. I've come a long way since being diagnosed and now feel like it's my time to give back.

In joining the forums I feel so supported, and get a sense of achievement through lending an ear to listen, or in some instances supporting others through my experience.

Look forward to hearing more about each of you too.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Anali — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 08:06:48 GMT

Thank you, Chris and Jo, for providing an opening for newbies - me being one. I've read a lot of posts/threads and couldn't decide where exactly to slot my intro/hello into.

I'm struggling terribly at the moment, however reading the online forums reiterates that although everyone's circumstances and experiences are unique, I AM NOT ALONE with the myriad of feelings, emotions and pain. Thank you EVERYONE for having the courage to trust and share. I wish there was some kind of emotional mirror I could hold up to reflect back the glimmer of hope I've gotten from you all.

Much appreciated....

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

white knight — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 12:12:59 GMT

Hi Chris and BB forum contributors.

I am 58yo and diagnosed with a cocktail of issues originally with ADHD and bipolar 1 in 2003 then 2009 correctly this time with bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression. My life really commenced around 2010 after the correct medication took effect. I cant stress hard enough for sufferers to get the right diagnosis and medication to suit. It has made a BIG difference.

I believe my mother had BPD but her generation or denial meant we children had to seek the likely reason we were emotionally on a downhill slide. My sister and I werent aware until our 40's how moody, anxious and depressed were really were. We kind of just thought we always had reasons to get angry or sad. But we are well educated in this now and last year after leaving my business and retiring early my mental health has improved out of sight.....most of the time!! This has unshackled me somewhat enough to pass on my knowledge of my experiences...to help others in distress. By listening to others there is a 'silent' benefit in that you learn more and more about symptoms that in the end makes you stronger.

There is a humbleness in helping an anonymous soul out there, someone that you never know, has picked themselves up and continued on...all because of words of support. That they dont have to suffer alone without others that can relate to them.

I have around 250 poems written over a 20 years period. It's my therapy, my outlet and my inner self...all on paper. Most are sad poems written while in depression. The more I recover the less I can write. I've been on this forum for only 2 months now and it is a part of me. I often think the posts here would assist students studying psychiatry. It is so informative.

I will never give up on anything. I've been to the hell that many people here have been to and survived. I WONT ever go back there. I am positive and have learned how to remain so. I hope I can, with my words, inject others with this contagious attitude. Yeh, life is tough and our illnesses are often here to stay, but it doesnt mean we cant make the most of a difficult place we find ourselves in through no fault of our own.

Thankyou Beyond Blue for this forum.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Progmaster — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 13:56:57 GMT

Hello all, I'm Matt and I am 42. I live with my partner of 16 years and our pet greyhounds. I was first diagnosed with clinical depression by a GP when I was 25. Last year I was diagnosed as Asperger's which didn't really surprise anyone. I have also just been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. My interests are music, movies and books. I think this forum is a great idea and look foward to sharing my stories and learning from yours. Love and peace to all 🙂

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

geoff — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 15:01:39 GMT

dear Christopher, what a great thread to start and already we have 2 newcomers who have now joined us, so that's great.

Where to start but here I go, I have a twin brother who has never had any of the problems that I have been through, and I am so pleased for him.

I have had OCD for 54 years, and this year I'm turning 60 years old, and have been on this site for about 9 years, responding to many people with depression.

I sustained a head injury with a blood clot on the brain in '83, and probably my own depression had started then, maybe before hand, but let's leave it at '83.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression in '95 where I tried to end my life, so at that stage I was a builder/handyman with about 6 months work in front of me, but it then collapsed, I couldn't do anything because of my depression.

I was given many AD's to try but eventually the one I am taking now I've been on for a long time.

I self medicated using alcohol and was called an alcoholic and definitely a cupboard drinker, because my 2 sons would always get rid of any if they found it.

Had a vehicle accident back in '97 which also killed me, but it has now left me with hip trouble, having 3 ops. and facing another one.

Was married for 25 years to my only love, but divorced because she gave up on trying to help me and hated my drinking, although now we still talk, kiss and have a cuddle, and if there is a sticking point between us, we just go our separate ways.

Now I have lived by myself for 9 years and that's when I bought a computer and then found this site, and it was at that point I started to crawl out of my depression, which I always thought would be impossible, although I have had a couple of relapses, but I knew that I would get better, so all I could do was ride these bad moments out, so that I would feel better again.

My eldest son also has OCD but the youngest doesn't.

I love my dogs and now have Moo-Moo, but lost my other puppie who I had for 18 years, which broke my heart and that's when I had a relapse last year.

It's such a long road for the many people still suffering from depression, and I never thought that I would be free from it, and although you are still struggling from it, I know the pain, but it can happen, and we have had several people who have changed so much by being on this site, but I have to say that maybe none of us are ever free from illness, and this includes me. Geoff.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Girl_Anachronism — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 22:51:30 GMT

Hi All,

I am 25, recently divorced with no children but two lovely cats. I live with my best friend and her husband while I get back on my feet post divorce but would love a place of my own, with my cats and I. I have blue-violet hair and am a Crazy Cat Lady in training.

I have suffered from depression in my teenage years and was hit severely with it back in November last year after going down hill for twelve months prior. For the past two months I have also been suffering from severe anxiety and agoraphobia. For the past three months I have also been suffering from Non-epileptic seizures which are still being investigated. I have also struggled with self harm addictions and am a Suicide Survivor.

My other interests lie in art, reading, writing novels, anime, manga, music, general geekery, gaming (video and tabletop), embroidery and costume making. All of these things I have struggled with doing the past 7 months, but am trying to rekindle. Despite having almost completed a degree, I don't know what I want to do with my life other than I want to help people. I just haven't decided how.

Beyondblue has literally saved my life, multiple times over. I can honestly say that without these forums I would not be here right now. I try help whoever I can, when i can, because aside from wanting to help, I feel my experience has a silver lining. I can offer peer support and know what it is like to have been chased by the Black Dog to the darkest edge of the universe. I have lived to tell the tale, and continue my fight against this illness. If I can help just one other person fight their own illness, it will have been worth it.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Ean — Wed, 02 Jul 2014 03:47:00 GMT

Hi everyone,

I'm Ean, it has taken several attempts to actually register and get here....phew! I've kind of had the impression that Beyond Blue was for the young and target populations, I am relieved, reading some posts, that me at 55 is OK.

My first post...I got a trigger warning...ouch. A good thing...I'd just like to express a huge apology ahead of time, "I am sorry" (and I shall apologise as need be) for my potential subjective (from the heart/without thought) and often metaphorical (riddles and rhymes) language. I am poorly socialised and may .... waffle!, rant, be black and white about stuff/?arrogant?, me me me. Anyway I am very grateful to moderators and know that I am a humanitarian with an over active empathy for all, the last thing I would want is to harm anyone in anyway. Please check all my posts.

I don't know what to say about me...depression.

I was diagnosed, by a GP in my early 30's as being clinically depressed (on anti-depressants since). It was obvious because of a history of neglect and abuse throughout my childhood and the ongoing struggle living with Spina Bifida. Not sure if I will ever share the gory details of my experience voluntarily but hope to share my experience through people here who truly know something of my experience. That sounds very patronising, but I really feel for others and hope to always encourage the positive path.

LOL only 2,500 characters, I'll be keeping it brief then...lol

Depression...I have been in the darkest clouds of depression without a doubt, I think forever (my father denied paternity and accused my mother of adultery when I was born with Spina Bifida, my mother blamed me for all that was wrong in her life, and kept me hidden) This is it the horrors will come out....I fear scaring people. But this is 'all' history.

Today...well I am here on Beyond Blue, and in many ways is the end of an exhaustive search for mind peace, there is nowhere else. At the same time having spent the last 5 years studying Social Science (both a gift and a curse, this knowledge and understanding of the world I don't fit into)...I am seeing my ""depression"" the cloud I've lived under, as expected, can be defined as unrecognised trauma and trauma's throughout my life, and ongoing social oppression. I have also been reading and researching Neuro Plasticity and potential deal with my "depression" with thought.....hello!. I love it (nearly out of characters).

I'll be in the trauma & cronic illness thread

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Sash978 — Wed, 02 Jul 2014 05:57:48 GMT

Hi everyone,

My name is Sasha, I am 35 years old. I first suspected I had some sort of depression was 14 years ago when my dad moved to USA, he was my only family member who I had contact with. It killed me, felt alone even though I had my now ex boyfriend to support me.

My ex of 14 years decided to break off our relationship, that's when I was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have battled with the help of Anti-depressants however I have recently slipped backwards when I lost my job that I had only just got and I loved working there. I am working on doing things differently this time. I get out of the house even if I don't feel like it, I get up and do things I don't just sit on the couch and eat. I am proud of how I have handled this since I told my housemate (last friday).

I joined Beyond Blue to get some advice on how to fall asleep easy, I have never been able to fall asleep straight away but not being able to fall asleep until 6.30am was the breaking point for me.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Princess — Wed, 02 Jul 2014 08:08:04 GMT

Hi to all,

I'm Princess and I've just turned 57 years young. I am in my second marriage with a wonderful man. I have 3 children aged 30, 28 and 27 and my step son is 34. I have 2 adorable grandsons aged 4 and 2.

I was only recently diagnosed with depression but I believe looking back I may have had it longer than I realised. I'm just glad I did finally see it for what it was and did something about it.

I work in real estate with my hubby (Only been doing this for 10 months), prior to that I worked for two newspapers. Got made redundant last year and had to find a new form of employment.

Was molested as a child, my parents were strict Europeans and my father wished I had been a boy. Childhood was nothing special. Good relationship with my mum though I would never talk to her about intimate things - it was never discussed in the house anyway. My dad is a lover of money and spends all his energy on building his 'empire'. As children he never had time for my brother and I and nothing has changed. He only calls predominantly when he needs something. No relationship with him at all and having phone ID is awesome cos when I see his number I let it go straight to message bank. (Technology does have its advantages)

Love my kids, love my grandkids and in general enjoy the simple things in life. I keep my friendships to a minimum as I've been 'shafted' in the past by so called friends, so I am very wary of being or getting too close with people. Have a couple of good friends but that's it.

I am so glad I discovered Beyond Blue - it's my 'release' if you will, where I can talk to people who are going through what I'm going through and everyone really does give a damn.

I work for an awesome company who have been so supportive when they found out about my depression. Turns out I wasn't the only one so that in itself was 'good' for me.

I enjoy (or used to enjoy) doing pencil portraits, art, music, rock n roll dancing, jive dancing and even had a crack at Lindy Hop. I like going out for meals (occasionally) or going to see a movie that's not always made in the USA - I prefer European movies. I love being near water and doing just simple things as this is what can be the greatest of pleasures for me.

Happy to make everyone's acquaintance on here.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

georga23 — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 06:23:32 GMT

Hello everyone!

My name is Georga I’m 20 years of age and have been living with depression since the young age of 10, I’m new to the site and beyond blue but so far am impressed with the amount of support I have received.

I lived on my own but have moved in with my mother and her partner after mum had a heart attack and I lost my job and broke up with my ex. it has been a crazy year!

I’ve only been medicated for two years to treat my depression and anxiety; witch thus far is not improving my situation, especially with recent events...

I steer clear of friends and family, as I feel like more of a nuisance...

I am currently studying beauty therapy, which I love, although I tend to segregate myself from the class. I have two kittens, two dogs, eight horses, three chooks, and one crazy mother to look after. So my days are busy and tiring.

I hope to join conversations and chat about other peoples personal experiences with depression and anxiety. thanks guys!

GHA

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

--Mark-- — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 08:00:08 GMT

Hi everyone,

my name is Mark, I'm 42, and I live in Adelaide. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress (as a result of childhood sexual abuse), and have somehow managed to survive multiple suicide attempts which started in my early teens. I'm really not sure what else to write...I am married though separated, have 3 kids (16, 13 & 11).

The last year has been one of the toughest of my life, and I'm still struggling more often than not. I used to enjoy football, was a trainer for the state level of my club and was asked to go up to the national level of my club, but these days, even though my club is doing very well, I can't focus on them. I used to play a lot of sport. I was run over by a car and had both ankles shattered.

I am an educator, and, to put it bluntly and concisely, was stood down last year based on unfounded allegations of a student. Was investigated by the Gvt and police, found to have nothing to answer to. But, the emotional damage incurred, compounded my already diagnosed depression and anxiety, and the context of the allegation, brought my childhood flooding back.

I'm so glad that Beyond Blue exists, and am very thankful to the people on here who post. There's always someone to chat to, even if you don't really feel like it. There's always someone out there that needs some kind or wise words, and it warms the soul to be able to help once in a while.

Thank you all. I doubt I'd still be here if it weren't for you.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Wilo — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:02:07 GMT

G'day all,

just joined so saying G'day. I'm 51 and blessed will a loving wife & 2 wonderful sons (17 & 20 - we're hoping they both turn back into humans again soon 🙂 ). I'm probably fairly successful in my career. I struggled on & off with depression for over 10 years to the stage suicide seemed a viable life choice before I got serious in doing what I needed to do to recover.

But I have now been depression free for about 3 years. I'm very vigilant to signs of depression triggers & still have to pull myself up from time to time but I feel like I've got this. I'm certainly not complacent, I know how bad I felt for so long & there's no way I want to go back there.

But life is good & I'm back to laughing & being able to appreciate the many blessings that are in my life. I want to do something to help others not go where I went or maybe help others that are already there. I work in a big organisation & want to help my colleagues. I recently wrote down my story & have given it to my bosses in the hope it could used to remove the stigma & give some impetus to helping others somehow.

It seems like the planets have aligned & I've done this at a time when the organisation has decided to take significant steps to address mental health issues. I feel there is a genuine will at our highest levels to make mental health a priority & I've been selected to participate in a working group for Psychological Wellbeing with our Executive & others. So really exciting times & that's why I'm here. To get ideas & to try & appreciate what the journey through mental illness is like for others.

So thanks for having me and my thoughts, prayers & best wishes for all the poor buggers that have to struggle with this terrible affliction. Depression has taught me so much like how important it is to actually appreciate your blessings. They are there even in your deepest depression but they're bloody hard to see through the darkness. No matter how hard, find them & try to appreciate them as best you can depending on where you're at. If you can't do it on the bad days at first make a really big effort on you're good days. It was one of the things that started to turn things for me.

Remember too that people can walk the road with you but they can't walk the road for you. So, as hard as it is, you've got to do what ever work you need to do to yourself but you don't have to do it by yourself. There's a big difference.

Kind Regards - Wilo

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Jimboe737 — Fri, 04 Jul 2014 05:27:28 GMT

Hello,

I have just joined and am struggling with how best to help my adult daughter deal with her chronic depression. She lives in a provincial city 2 hours away from the capital city where I reside so I don't get to see her very often. She has been diagnosed with and treated for depression for several years and sees a psychiatrist routinely. She takes medication, that seems to help her to cope, but there is little sign of recovery.

I called to say hello last night, after returning from an overseas holiday. She answered the phone, which is encouraging, given that she often doesn't answer when I call and hasn't got message bank on her home phone. When she doesn't answer I usually call her mobile, which often is also unanswered, but I can leave a message. It is usual for me to have to leave several before she responds or eventually picks up a call I make.

I didn't raise the subject but we had a good talk about where she is at in terms of her recovery. Fortunately, she had seen her psychiatrist yesterday, something she raised, which enabled me to discuss her condition in more detail than usual. I try to keep conversations light hearted unless she sounds distressed or wants to talk about it. The advice she received was consistent with some I gave her 6 months ago, which is reassuring for me and she sounded positive about trying to apply it.

This development in our relationship gives me hope that she might start on the road to recovery and take some action to try to help herself. I did ask if she believed she could possibly recover and whether or not she really wanted to recover. I went on to say that I believed her central focus needed to be on her recovery and that her mission in life should be finding a way that will work for her. I told her I love her and if she ever thinks that I'm saying too much she could tell me to shut up without hurting my feelings. The conversation ended on a positive note and I suggested that I visit next week while her children are on school holidays. She agreed, so that too is encouraging.

That's essentially my story, but I wonder if anyone in a similar situation can advise me about how best to now help her? She hasn't asked for help and her condition was concealed from me for several years but I'm not getting younger and would love to see her functioning well. If possible, I would like to help while I'm still able to do so.

I would appreciate good counsel from anyone who might be able to advise.

Cheers!

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

jimgoose — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 00:29:49 GMT

Hi im jimgoose {not my real name} sorry trust issues.I was coping fine up until a few days ago when things became overwhelming .Reluctantly saw my doctor and are having the cat team visit me soon.Jut thinking that when i was carefree 33ish years ago and that i could never have understood self harm. Last night i took my first tablet and me being me i had to check that i wasn't being tricked that it really was only a placebo tablet.Any way i got a good sleep but have a bit of a headache.I have two kids 17 and 13 and a understanding missus.And this is my first post.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

--Mark-- — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 03:23:52 GMT

Hi Jimboe,

sounds positive, and you have done well to reach out to your daughter. My advice would be to continue to be there for her. Listen when she wants to talk. Let her know you're there for her when she doesn't.

Mark

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

AGrace — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 23:34:10 GMT

Hi jimgoose,

Welcome to Beyondblue. Thanks for sharing your story.

Rather than fill thi introduction thread with a response for you, I'll start a new thread under the DEPRESSION tab titled PLACEBO MEDICATION.

Glad to have you with us.

AGrace

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

--Danny-- — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 01:39:48 GMT

Hi Chris & welcome everyone new to Beyond Blue, I'm only a newbie but have found this place amazing 😃 my story goes like this..I grew up in a poor family, housing commission, no parents worked..they were always fighting, threatening suicide, blaming me for everything that sucked in there life...I was a referee in the domestic fights from a young age..both my parents suffer schizophrenia...they had fights everywhere..public places, school concerts, friends & families homes...embarrassing...I felt ashamed of everything & myself since age 7..sometimes I wanted to run away & kill myself...I never really got physically abused, but mental abuse was showered on me..the mental abuse still happens..I don't listen to them anymore but I was under there spell for 28 years of my life..them making me feel ashamed, guilty, worthless, no good....my father hasn't worked in 30 years & never provided properly..as a kid I really hated my life..everyone teased me about my parents, no money, no car, crappy clothes, I used to get called povo..when I started high school, I suffered horrendous acne, I couldnt look anyone in the eyes..so ashamed of what I looked like..I cant ever remember a time in my life where I wasn't depressed or anxious, my childhood sucked!! Age 15/16 I turn into a binge drinking alcoholic, age 23 I start smoking weed daily & haven't stopped since..I smoked & drank my problems away for 16 years...I have 4 children & a beautiful wife...alcohol really started to cause major problems in my life so I quit a month ago & haven't drank since..weed is the next to quit...I'm on anti depressants that worked in the past & hopefully they work once again. I am struggling to comprehend what normal is? I have never felt normal, always felt a cloud hovering over me..in some dark times I've contemplated suicide but never went through with it..my kids mean the world to me & I couldnt do it to them..the only people I'm close with are my wife & children..after my childhood lessons, I don't trust many people, & I keep a distance from as many people as I can..guilt, shame, anxiety, panic, depression, all these feelings are all I know..without these feelings, I wouldn't be me...how do I behave without these feelings in my head? Am I institutionalised with anxiety/depression? I don't know a life without it....

beyondblue's clinically trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please contact our support service on 1300 224 636.

Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Totogirl — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 03:14:20 GMT

Hi I have been having a online romance for 7mths now I love this guy the problem is he went overseas to work and took his daughter with him and she had an accident and was put in hospital January and he says he carnt leave the country until his hospital bill is paid and he carnt use his bank I suffer depression and just lately I don't know what to do I think he could be a scammer even though we talk on the phone everyday I find face book profiles with his photo and differant names he says it's not him as when he lost his wallet his USB was in his wallet and gas his personal stuff on it I feel so low these days as he still carnt say when he will be home I have no one to talk to my family just say his a scammer I love this guy I have a son 12 and a daughter 20 if I didn't have them I would just give up but I love this guy and it just hurts