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Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 12:34:47 GMT

this is how I feel right now, not sure if this is the best place to post this...

these kinds of intrusive thoughts are scary, they are not the facts but they are linked to reality. Because I'm really lonely.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

blondguy — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 14:12:31 GMT

Hello On The Road !

It is a perfect place to post your thread topic

Feeling lonely can make us feel isolated not to mention the effect on our self worth You have created an excellent thread topic as it hasnt been discussed as a thread topic for a long time

Sometimes psychs mention its beneficial to have a small circle of friends (5) that we can talk to when we are feeling this way. Thats easily said as many people dont have a circle of friends they can talk to when very lonely

Can I ask if you have one or two people that you can confide in when you have these feelings of emptiness?

I hear you loud and clear OTR as I feel the same sometimes

my kind thoughts

Paul

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

Karen0901 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:47:16 GMT

I feel you. I avoid people because of anxiety and trauma and it means I don't have any friends. Sometimes this makes me very lonely, isolated and feel like I'm not worthy of attention from others. That I don't fit in society.

I have my family though. So I'm lucky.

I think the best thing you can do is contact family. If you don't have any, find others that are also lonely. People are usually very understanding. You could join some type of social activity such as a sport or some other group based on a hobby you might have. If your not in a relationship, you could try dating.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

geoff — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:50:20 GMT

Hello On The Road, intrusive can be crippling, but you need to challenge them, ask yourself, could you actually do any of them and what would be the consequences if you did.

They are thoughts not actions and what you are thinking are you able to mention this to who is involved in these thoughts.

Take care.

Geoff.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

MikeC — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 17:09:07 GMT

I am feeling this too. Although I do have some friends and family I am living in an isolated area and spend much of my time alone. Also my energy levels are so low I am barely able to complete the simple tasks of life and have no energy to get out and do fun activities or meet people via social groups. I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends and family about it because I don't see them very often and I am not motivated to talk on the phone. I just feel like I am plodding along in life hoping for some more energy in the future but not knowing how/when that will occur.

Any help/thoughts would be appreciated.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

blondguy — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 17:39:02 GMT

Hello MikeC and On The Road for the excellent thread topic!

Welcome to the forums Mike

I joined the forums back in 2016 when I was mess (depression..anxiety) and after being on here (when I can) it has been a very helpful place for myself

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you Mike....The forums are a safe and non judgmental place for all of us to post

It takes huge strength to post Mike....you are strong...It took me 2 weeks to post as I was super nervous

my kind thoughts

Paul

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 14:49:18 GMT

Hi Paul, thanks for the reply,🙂 I agree that a small circle of close friends is ideal. This is probably the soul mate we are looking for. I remember those American sitcoms ( Friends, How I Met Your Mother, etc) I watched, which usually consist of a small group of friends.
I don't think I have one or two close friends that I can confide in. I can talk with people in general and sometimes the conversations could go deeper. But still, It is really hard for me to open up most of the time.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 14:50:36 GMT

Hi Karen0901, thanks for sharing your experience🙂. I can resonate with you A LOT that anxiety and trauma have a huge impact on socialising. There have been many people I met (in school, at work, in travel) that told me something like “you are actually quite a friendly and decent person you just need to put your heart out more often”. Lol it is not that easy. I’m glad that family can be behind your back, I can talk with my family regularly but we are not as closed as a perfect family should look like.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 14:51:34 GMT

Hi Geoff, I find that normally distracting myself is useful. Binge watching shows, playing games, or going out. But there are prerequisites for doing this: the shows that I watch were light-hearted, comedic, or not that serious, better not watch those that make you laugh while you are watching it but keep you thinking too much (or make you feel sad) lately. The places I go out for were lively buzzing CBD areas, where the noise, the crowds, the things that keep you distracted. If we went to the remote beaches alone, we probably would feel even more lonely.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 14:53:24 GMT

Hi MikeC,
Thanks for being here, this is a good place to start🙂. Living in a remote area has its pro and cons, it is definitely not easy. Considering your low energy level, I may suggest you contact your GP and talk about this. Plus search on this website “get out of a rut” or just “rut”, and you may find some people with similar situations who asked for advice here. You may find some valuable advice from posts. Please feel free to share more detail if you are comfortable. You are more than welcome to start your own thread, we are here to listen 🙂

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Sat, 11 Jun 2022 16:09:50 GMT

nighttime is hardtime 😅

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

Ggrand — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 03:29:18 GMT

Hello Dear On The Road,

I really am sorry your feeling insufferably alone...

I have lived alone now for close to 9 years since my husband passed away...about 2 years before he passed, he made a decision to move into the central west of NSW...away from our children and their families...in a remote little village...I have made one friend in my village (under 200 residents)...we ring each other every day to talk and make sure the other is okay..

It has taken me a long time to accept that this is now my life....unable to move closer to my children due to finances, it is very hard...I do get overwhelming lonely and that drags me down into deep depression which is hard to lift out from.

The nights...yes, they are worse, no one to share our day with makes me at times feel very very alone in this world...as for doing things, hobbies etc..I do try and sometimes do succeed in doing something a little special....but I feel no joy about doing it, just “meh” maybe because I don’t have anyone to share it with...maybe because I know it was just a distraction...

I do volunteer at a Vinnies shop...in my closest town, around 30 kilometres away which has given me a reason to get up out of bed and dressed for 2 days a week..

Most nights I am on here, either reading or posting..without here BB, I’m not sure how I’ll manage the nights...I’m not really into tv due to my ptsd, (unexpected triggers) but will occasionally watch a DVD...Now it’s winter and freezing temperatures, I go to bed early and listen to some stories on my iPad...I do listen to sleep stories as well, when I’m a bit over anxious and my mind starts with cycling thoughts I do this while I have some candles lit...watching the little flames dancing around...

Have you ever listened to stories at night...something comforting in them having someone else read them...I wish I knew how to make the nights easier for you.....I think it’s a matter of trying to make the nights into something a bit special for us....different from the day to day routine I am stuck in, which is being unmotivated to do not much at all...

It’s strange, how many people in the world are overwhelmingly lonely...when their are millions of people in it...very very sad..I wish so much you didn’t feel this horrible thing...loneliness, it’s a hurt that goes deep into our souls..

Here if you want to talk..

Kind thoughts, with my care, Dear On The Road.

Grandy..

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 11:55:10 GMT

Hi Grandy,

thanks for your heartwarming reply and for sharing your story. I was on the bus last time heading to a town, and I saw the bright moon clearly as the rest were completely dark. Have you watched the moon in the clear night sky in your remote village? How did you feel about it? 🙂I like listening to some stories as well as some podcasts and nighttime live radio (e.g. ABC), they are usually cosy: the topics are light-hearted, and the music is definitely different from what they would play during peak hours. There's one podcast I'd recommend caked Listen To Sleep, check this out!

It's great to see you do volunteer as well at a Vinnies as a benefit to yourself and to the local community 🙂

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

Ggrand — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 01:12:05 GMT

Hello Dear On The Road,

Yes I have watched the moon and the stars...I’m lucky where I live, that their are street lights..and the stars shine so brightly at night and their are millions alone millions of them...When we have a full moon..it’s like I could reach up and touch it...I am an avid star gazer 😂..

Thank you for your suggestion “listen to sleep”..I hadn’t heard of it before...I tried it last night and fell asleep to the first story...his voice was soothing and gentle...

I hope today is a great day for you...Stay warm Dear On The Road...

kind thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:41:11 GMT

Another night ughhh...

I see some accounts with only 1 or 2 posts... hope they come back sometime.

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

blondguy — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:58:28 GMT

Hey OTR

Thanks for posting back...even though we dont expect a reply. I think I have 1 or two friends that I can confide in (maximum)...I hear you loud and clear there On The Road

How was your week?

Paul

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 16:25:45 GMT

Hi Paul,

thanks for the reply, I'm feeling ok at the moment 🙂

There were some occasions when words stuck in my throat, and I felt like I wanna say a lot, but still it was not the right person or the right time in front of me.

My week was as usual as it can be, but recently I am making some decisions about jobs, about rent, about almost everything 😂

Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

blondguy — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 16:42:55 GMT

Hey OTR

I hear you loud and clear about words being stuck in the throat...ditto here.Jobs/careers...rent and everything combined are a heavy load OTR..I know you are ok...Please be gentle to yourself 🙂

Have a super weekend too

Paul

Re: Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

On The Road — Fri, 08 Jul 2022 17:15:08 GMT

I'm feeling anxious, sad and lonely.

Today I kinda got into some political debate with someone, with a relatively extreme ideology... those words are hurtful... I don't like being so confronting with someone I used to get along with, maybe I always had a wrong perception of this person. I felt like I was assaulted by some political radicals in the streets...

and I also watched a sad documentary, and then I heard the tragic news from Japan... all things been haunting my mind... wish there's someone I can talk with at this point

Re: Suddenly feel insufferably lonely

Fiatlux — Sat, 09 Jul 2022 02:49:51 GMT

Hi On The Road,

I know how it feels.

I try very hard to be non confrontational by trying to have positive conversations, but they sometimes turn into arguments and like you I feel like I have been assaulted.

The news from Japan is tragic and terrible and terrifying.

I tried to have a positive conversation with my son yesterday. I was working from home and he was home from work and making a curry.

I forget that my son can have some extreme views and we often clash.

So is it best to keep quiet and ignore him or try to get something positive out of him.

I try to see positives even in the worst situations. My son in young and there’s hope for him.

My eldest son is very different. He does a lot of volunteer work and has been doing so for the past 9 years. He gets a lot of personal reward for helping others.

If I need a positive conversation, I ask my eldest about his week working with the SES.

Where there’s tragedy there’s also a positive something, somewhere, sometimes.