topic Feeling Alone in Welcome and orientation

Feeling Alone

Gracious Gal — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 22:55:16 GMT

Hi, I'm a newbie here. I'm struggling with anxiety which includes social anxiety. Have always had difficulty making friends, so thought I could connect with other people that can relate to that. Often feel like I don't fit in and I'm looking to change that. I also have work related stress and anxiety and feel like I'm in a job that doesn't suit "the real me". Hoping to chat with others that may be experiencing the same thing.

Feeling Alone

Sea_Turtle — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 23:16:01 GMT

Hi Gracious Gal

I have had undiagnosed OCD growing up. I was awkward, and always hyper vigilant. Got diagnosed at 17 and then went through a couple other diagnosis and a horrible few years. I’ve never managed to make any proper friends. Completely understand feeling alone.

work wise I’m studying because I want to do something that is helpful and something I’m passionate about.

Sending support

Feeling Alone

Gracious Gal — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 23:40:29 GMT

Hi Sea Turtle

Thanks for the welcome. It's nice to connect with someone that understands me.

I've had a few friends in the past through school. But that was a while ago now. The few friends I did have, I felt like they didn't get the real me and I was always trying to be something I wasn't to fit in.

Work wise I was in a job for almost 18 years. Towards the end the environment got so toxic though I decided to leave. Since November last year I have had 3 different jobs all of which made me anxious enough to leave and apply for other jobs. I have the qualifications to do the job but feel again it's not the real me.

Glad to hear you're studying something that is useful and something you're passionate about. Keep it up.

Sending my support to you as well

Feeling Alone

Sea_Turtle — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 00:25:13 GMT

Hey Gracious Gal

I can’t imagine a toxic work environment helping anything. Sorry about that.
I bet the real you is wonderful. She does sound very nice. I’m trying to be open with people and be the real me. It’s hard.
Just because you have qualifications in a certain area doesn’t mean you have to do that. It’s never too late to study again or change your career.

I really hope you find what you need.

Feeling Alone

HamSolo01 — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 01:44:01 GMT

Hi Gracious Gal, Sea_Turtle

I can relate to some themes here.

Firstly I find that after most of my 20s I have struggled.

Work wise I was in a job too long that was both beneath my challenge level and also a very toxic environment. From then i have just had similar roles. They were never good enough for me and I grew bored.

I recently quit a secure well paid job because it was making me bored and depressed. I could see that in a few months time I would want to leave.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety and I think its hard now because I dunnonwhat I want in life. I am worried about hitting 30 and not having enough friends. Most of my life is at home now. Nothing I really want to do because I don't have many friends and I am usually bored. I'm coming off meds too.

i guess what I'm saying is that I empathise. Sorry for butting in and talking about me

Feeling Alone

Sea_Turtle — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 02:50:59 GMT

Hey HamSolo01

You don’t need to apologise, nor do you need to apologise now for apologising. I am guilty of this too.

I’m on meds too. When I miss them or something I get all over the place. From, crying, to getting angry to completely overthinking everything. It makes me realise how complex brains are and honestly it scares me.

I hope you can find a job that makes you feel alright. Maybe you could just work on what you want to be. Say in an alternate universe. It doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it tomorrow. But maybe it will help you start a hobby in the same direction or Be able to slowly work towards something more rewarding.

I have no suggestions for lack of friends as I’m in the say boat.

best wishes Sea_Turtle

Feeling Alone

Gracious Gal — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 03:37:32 GMT

Hey HamSolo01,

I agree with Sea_Turtle no need to apologise for butting in. That's what it's all about on here..being able to relate to other people going through the similar things.

Work wise...I feel a little lost. I have always had jobs in similar roles but feel like I want to be doing something different. Just not sure where to start to change directions

I'm in my forties, married and have a mortgage. So definitely need to keep working. I just know the job I'm in now is not for me, makes my anxiety worse. But I don't want to let down my husband and change jobs again. I feel stuck.

I'm not on any meds but am seeing GP tomorrow and have made an appointment to see a psychologist. Hope they can help me figure out a few things.

I understand where you are coming from and empathise. It's good to relate to other people going through similar things in their lives.

Best wishes

Gracious Gal

Feeling Alone

HamSolo01 — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 09:18:03 GMT

thanks @GraciasGal and Sea Turtle for your understanding

I do believe there needs to be more of it in this world

I applied for a paid intern role today I saw. It's probably below my skill level but i just want to do something i care about. I don't care about money in its own right. I get it is important in life, but it can't be the only thing. Especially if i have not lived to my full potential. Idk. These topics are hard.

I do hope you are both well this evening

Feeling Alone

Kat_Em — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 10:10:36 GMT

Hello @graciousgal

I'm a newbie here too. I kind of felt like I had run out of people who would listen to me, I guess they simply don't quite understand. I too struggle with anxiety. It's starting to take a toll on work and life in general. My GP prescribed meds however I am even anxious about taking them!

Trying to find a psychologist this week as I am sure this will help but I've been struck down with Covid. Hello... Anxiety overdrive!

How are you going and did you hear about the job you applied for?

I hope you are well.

Feeling Alone

Sea_Turtle — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 11:43:40 GMT

Hey Kat_Em

I’ve learnt from my loved ones that it’s really hard to imagine what it’s like to feel this way. But they’ve got better at it overtime and start to figure it out.

oh my covid, not exactly helpful but I guess most of us will get it sooner or later.

Anxious about taking meds is extremely familiar for me. I’ve been on them for two years. I am genuinely shocked to say that now I am glad of them, and feel fine about taking them. I was terrified of them. Now I see them as not changing me but giving me access to certain parts of my brain so that it can learn that’s ok and hopefully I can get all the way better.

It’s nice to chat on here with people who know that horrid feeling and how it affects you.

Take care

Feeling Alone

On The Road — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 12:49:01 GMT

Hi Gracious Gal

I'm sorry that things have been rough for you, I am also struggling with anxiety. I'm not sure if I have social anxiety but it is extremely difficult for me to make friends and keep them. Probably because I'm too anxious and too tired of this (friendships need good intentions, energy and efforts just like any other kind of relationship). Careerwise I think I can somehow resonate with your feelings of "not being the real me", even tho I don't know the details. It is hard to keep doing something that's just not for you for years, no matter how you compensate yourself after work. and the reality for many ppl is just tough up and keep going.😔

I hope that your counsellor/ psychologist with whom you gonna share details could help you to sort things out. Feel free to share more thoughts on here. 🙂

Feeling Alone

Gracious Gal — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 06:04:53 GMT

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all you support and understanding. It's nice to connect to people that understand and can relate to me.

HamSolo01..glad to hear you've applied for an intern role...What field is it in. I wish you the best of luck in getting it.

Hi Kat_Em... welcome to the forum I'm a newbie like you. Also like you I've just tested positive to Covid. So 7 days of ISO ahead. I'm not anxious about that but I know I will be anxious to go back to work.

On the Road...I can relate to the not being able to make friends and keep them. I feel like it always put up a wall to protect myself and only allow ppl to see part of the real me. What triggers you're anxiety? For me at the moment it's my new job. I've been there 5 weeks, so I'm still going thru a bit of a learning curve. The role is an front office/admin role which I think is ironic for my personality as I feel I'm a shy introverted person. But the only skills and work experience I have is in these types of roles. I would like to change to something I'm passionate about. But I just need to figure out what that is .

Thanks to everyone for their understanding and support.😊

Feeling Alone

Kat_Em — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 11:57:18 GMT

Hi @Gracious Gal

Covid has certainly tested my anxiety but I feel like I am winning that battle! You just need to listen to your body and rest when you are tired. I really found Chamomile Tea and honey helped with both COVID and the anxiety.

I wish you a speedy recovery.

Thank you everyone for your messages of support. I too have struggled with friends. As I am nearing 40 I have never felt more alone than ever. I guess we have all grown up and people go in different directions in life. Then there are those who will never understand how you feel and I guess I wouldn't call them friends anyway. I sometimes question what I did to these people but have realised that they are not worth anymore of my air as they are making me question myself as a human being when I know that I am good person with a heart of gold.

To make new friends I need to get out and be more social. Which means I need to get the anxiety under control which means I need to start my medication and see a psychologist. Looks like I have a big week ahead.

Sending you all support and well wishes

Feeling Alone

On The Road — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 16:03:48 GMT

Hi Gracious Gal

I tend to keep to myself and even shy away when ppl asked me to be more open up. I am, as well, only allowing ppl to see part of me. My anxiety problem has been a longtime problem, I think lots of things contribute to the situation where I am now. At the moment, I'm also facing job issues, I'm in the process of looking for a new job. in my opinion, I actually don't think being intro or extroverted or in the middle would have much to do with the job roles, some ppl can find their "niches" easily. It takes time, so now I'm giving myself a bit more time to figure it out, hope you give yourself some time and space 😊 that helps alleviate stress.

Feeling Alone

Allay — Mon, 04 Apr 2022 04:27:04 GMT

Hi Gracious Gal 👋

I’m new to the forum too. Being socially anxious is difficult. It takes so much mental and emotional energy just to show up.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing work related stress and anxiety. I hope you’ll find a comfortable niche and have enough get-up-and-go left over for socialising.

Best Wishes

Allay