topic Alcohol in Welcome and orientation

Alcohol

Starre — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 08:45:54 GMT

Hi everyone.

I was just wondering if anyone else had the same issue as me. The thing is, I need alcohol to feel like other people, such as feeling happy, motivated, being empathetic, making plans, thinking about goals etc, literally everything. I used to be depressed but I'm not now as I take antidepressants which has totally turned my life around, so I don't drink because I'm depressed. I don't know how to feel this good and motivated and like everyone else without drinking. Has anyone had this issue and how do I feel good like everyone else naturally?? I stress though, I am no longer depressed, so this is not the issue.

Alcohol

On The Road — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 12:49:37 GMT

Hi Starre,🙂

Welcome to the forum, as an occasional drinker, I don't have relevant experience on this issue so sorry I couldn't talk much about it. I think some people on here may have some similar stories.

I'm glad that you have made progress on the depression issues and you don't indulge in drinking for the depression. From what you described, it sounds like you need alcohol to have a sense of accomplishment that you like the effect produced by alcohol. It is possible that if one keeps using alcohol as a coping skill, the other alternative would fade away: they may not be physically addicted to alcohol but maybe psychologically dependent on it. For you, this may get in the way of your overcoming depression. I would recommend you to visit GPs.

Feel free to share more about your opinion and feelings about drinking, we are here to listen🙂

Alcohol

james1 — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 13:56:51 GMT

Hey Starre,

Welcome to the forums! It's great to hear you were able to turn your life around with the help of anti-depressants, as it sounds like you were really struggling with depression before. That said, I'm sorry to hear you are having this issue with alcohol, as it sounds quite disempowering. I understand you feel like you need alcohol to feel happy and do a lot of the things you want to do in life. Is there any more you'd like to say about that? I mean, what happens if you don't have alcohol?

James

Alcohol

geoff — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 16:58:13 GMT

Hello Starc, a good thread because this could be the greatest worry when people stop drinking alcohol, they have to adjust to life without the euphoria from drinking which will happen, but it may take people different times, depending on how much they usually drink.

You will notice a difference if you are trying to show some happiness motivation, being empathetic, making plans, thinking about goals etc when you are with the people you usually drink with, and you're not, because people drinking do things or make decisions differently to those who aren't drinking and a person who is sober can see the answers clearly.

When the people who have drunk, sober up, realise that how you feel is the best alternative. this will begin to make you feel more comfortable.

It will develop from this.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Alcohol

therising — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 20:26:58 GMT

Hi Starre

It's great you can identify key goals you want to achieve, such as feeling happiness, motivation, constructive thinking etc. Consciousness is the first step toward change.

Being a gal who drank throughout my years in depression, it wasn't until looking back at those years that I began to realise exactly why I drank. In a nutshell, I was an 'emotional drinker'.

I've found there are often 3 key factors that are linked to emotions. I'll use the emotion/feeling known as 'motivation' or 'drive' as an example

Mentally, there has to be something that drives us. A mental skill set can drive us, such as a clear step by step guide to reach a goal. Being able to clearly imagine the end goal can also drive us to achieve. A vivid, well exercised or easily triggered imagination can be a driving force
Physically, emotion is energy in motion. If the energy's not there, say in the form of chemistry, we won't be able to feel it. There won't be the right amount or the right type of chemical reactions to drive us. A lot of energy systems in the body. Vascular system carries the energy found within blood, endocrine system carries energy within hormones, nervous system carries energy through nerve impulses etc. Blood tests are a way of testing energy levels within the blood (such as with Iron or B12)
Naturally, energy surrounds us in the form of people, places, music etc. As physicists say 'We're energy in motion, being comprised of matter'. So, it's kind of like we vibe or vibrate (on a cellular level) in connection with our environment. Music therapy partly works on the principal of raising or lowering our cellular vibration. This helps explain why 'high vibey' music can put us in a good mood, when every cell in our body is vibrating at a higher rate or frequency

So 'motivation' is not such a simple thing. It can be comprised of so many factors.

With alcohol being comprised of chemistry, adding that chemistry to our own physical chemistry will cause a 'chemical reaction' and that's what we feel - the reaction. If it's an energising reaction, we'll feel the energy.

A poop load of research over time led me to realise why I drank. I drank based on a lack of skill sets, a lack of being led to imagine a life different from the one I was living, a lack of the right chemistry and a lack of understanding regarding how my connection to life works (energetically), among other things. It was a lack of all these things that led me to drink. Hope this helps in some way 🙂

Alcohol

Starre — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 03:50:03 GMT

Hi James 😊 if I don't drink alcohol I don't feel like talking to anyone, I don't feel like going out, and I have no motivation. I've stopped drinking throughout the week (was drinking a bottle of red wine a day) but when I don't drink I just want to stay home by myself all the time and do nothing. I feel like I have to drink to be like everyone else.

Alcohol

Starre — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 03:55:17 GMT

Hi 😊 yes I feel like I'm psychologically dependant on it because it allows me to feel "normal". I don't get blind drunk at all, infact other people don't even realise I've drank they just think I'm a happy, friendly, outgoing, caring person as opposed to the person I am sober. When sober I don't feel any of those things, I just prefer my own company. It's so frustrating.

Alcohol

Starre — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 04:00:02 GMT

Hi 😊 thank you for your reply, it was very insightful and something to think about. Yes, the energy is simply just not there naturally, I'm not sure if it's the antidepressants doing that? I mean I don't get angry and upset anymore but I don't feel any motivation or overly happy feelings either, I'm kind of neutral now.

Alcohol

smallwolf — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 04:54:01 GMT

hi,

I dont really drink so would have to think about what you were saying.

but I noticed what you commented on re the ADs and the way I look at it is like this ... rather than moods swinging between 0 and 10, now it is like 3 to 7. The reality is more like 4.5 to 5.5 or as you put it, in neutral. So while I won't go down far, nor do I get excited by much.

but I will work on myself and how I see things, any maybe things will improve?

Alcohol

Starre — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 04:59:57 GMT

Hi Geoff, thanks for your response. The problem is I don't drink with others, I drink alone and talk to friends online. I gave up on catching up with friends because I lost the motivation and found it to be too hard, so rather than being hot and cold towards people based on whether I'm drinking or not, I decided to not waste people's time. I made most of my plans with friends when I'm drinking and then when I'm sober I pull out because I can't be bothered.

Alcohol

Starre — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 05:03:38 GMT

So true, it really is neutral..that's a great way of describing it.. and alcohol brings me back up to a 10

Alcohol

james1 — Sun, 20 Mar 2022 01:45:15 GMT

Hey Starre,

How are you going?

It sounds like drinking is what gives you motivation to do more than just sit at home. Is this something you've spoken to a doctor or psychologist about? I understand you find it frustrating, so I wonder if it perhaps could be something to work on finding an alternative, or some other way to get that motivation.

I used to find antidepressants kind of put a bit of a dampener on everything, so while the bad emotions became a lot more manageable, the positive ones were also blunted a bit.

James

Alcohol

Starre — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 09:41:36 GMT

Yes that's true but I don't think I can function without antidepressants, I had some good days but more bad days than anything. It's like either I stay dulled to everything or go back to having some good days

Alcohol

therising — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 21:06:45 GMT

Hi Starre

Looking back on all my years in depression, I see them very differently now compared to how I saw them while I was in that depression. Of course, hindsight is great but does not always exist at the time you need it most.

In a life that was upsetting, I felt the upset, the push to not stay in life in the form it was in. Looking back, life was incredibly angering and highly triggering at times, more often than not. I was angry with so many people and I understand why. I was angry with the psychiatrist I saw, for being useless. I was angry with my husband because he did nothing outstanding to change the way I was feeling the depressing aspects of the marriage. I was angry with people who told me 'You're too sensitive' or 'You just need to get on with life and stop thinking so much' (grrr), angry with myself for not being able to find the way out of depression and the list goes on. Then I'd beat myself up for being so 'unreasonable' and angry and then that would become deeply depressing. You know that kind of internal dialogue, 'What is wrong with you? Why are you so stupid? Why are you so unreasonable? Why are you so difficult to get along with? Why are you so angry all the time? Why are you so broken? Why are you so hopeless? Why can't you just be happy, like everyone else?' and on and on it goes.

The strange thing about all those depressing questions is they're valid. With an accusing or degrading tone, they're depressing. With a loving and gentle tone, they become valid questions that can provide some surprising revelations. Picking just one from the list, 'Why are you so hopeless?!' is a depressing question/statement when the internal dialogue sounds harsh. Asked gently and lovingly, as a valid question, 'Why are you so hopeless?' or 'Do you know why you feel such hopelessness?' requires a thoughtful answer. For myself, that hopelessness in depression was a result of no one leading me to feel hope. How can you feel what's not there? How can you feel what no one brings to you? 'Who or what would bring me hope, to replace the lack?' becomes the next question. Such a simple question can trigger a long line of questioning, such as the next question perhaps being 'Why does no one know how to bring me hope?' and/or 'What is wrong with the people around me? Do they possess issues that don't allow them to bring hope to someone who feels such a lack of it, such as someone in a deep depression?'. A single question can lead to so many revelations.

Alcohol

On The Road — Wed, 06 Apr 2022 05:41:57 GMT

Hi Starre, how's going recently? 🙂

Alcohol

That Other Guy — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 19:53:55 GMT

I've drunk way too much over the last year, I'm cutting back at the moment. But you sound more like a friend of mine, i know if i invite him over I'll get plastered because he needs alcohol to socialise. I guess my questions are, first, why is it bad to spend time alone? Do you feel you need to be around people all the time?

Second, alcohol is a great social lubricant, but it's not always helpful. If you have social anxiety that makes you drink, perhaps talk to someone about ways to deal with that?

Alcohol

geoff — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 22:09:35 GMT

Hello Starre, the majority of the time I used to drink alone, by myself, it didn't worry me at all, but if someone wanted to join me that was great, especially in depression.

I also know that I do need to take my AD's, a couple of times when I've run out and had to wait to get another script it affected me so that I began to fall backwards and drinking alcohol didn't actually help me.

I wouldn't ring anyone to see if they wanted a drink, I drank when I needed to, although at times this was controlled by what the family wanted to do, which meant I had to drive.

Now I haven't drunk for well over two years and anyone can drink in front of me and it doesn't worry me, but I suppose someone has to go through all the stages of why we drink, hitting rock bottom and suffering all the way down, and only then, can you decide whether or not you can make this decision to stop.

Geoff.

Re: Alcohol

Don1n0z — Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:47:51 GMT

I’m 70 years old. I drank non stop from 11 years of age. In my early 30’s I was taken to Charleville Hospital as I was without booze for two days. I had three grand mal seizures on way to hospital. They refused to admit me as I was just another “drunk”. Whilst my parents were driving me home to Wyandra I experienced another seizure, my old man took me back to hospital and insisted they admit me. Later the Doctors told my parents I’d not survive the night due to bleeding into my stomach. Obviously I did and spent six weeks in Charleville Hospital. I was on various medications at night and receiving six injections of some vitamin into my legs daily. I’m 6’1” tall but weighed only 48 kegs at time of admission. I’d not eaten for a month or two. I had swollen liver, jaundice, alcoholic hepatitis, and experienced the DTs on three occasions. After six weeks I was sent to S3 alcoholic ward at TBH. When I eventually got to ward, I gave them list of meds I was on. They said “we don’t give drugs here” so during th3 4 weeks I was there I was withdrawing from all 5hese meds they had me on.

I was discharged and immediately got drunk. I.then went 30+ years without drinking. No AA.

Its now 10:31am and I’m on my sixth beer.