topic Re: Feeling lost and alone. in Welcome and orientation

Feeling lost and alone.

LJK — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 03:46:54 GMT

I feel stupid doing this. But I need to talk to someone, my husband does listen, occasionally, but he has his own problems that I try to help him with. He has PTDS.

I lost my mother nearly 7 months ago, she lived with us in a granny flat, she did a lot around the house, helped me with my business and was the person I spoke with the most. Since losing her, I feel lonely and isolated even though my husband has been very supportive. He doesn't understand fully, what I am going through. He does criticise my mother about how she did things, and what she did. He never helped much back then. I have an adult son that still lives with us, he doesn't help around the house. Worse since his grandmother died. My closest friend, I have seen once since mum died, and that was in public. I hardly hear from her, she always says she will call me back, but it is weeks if not months down the track. I have spoken with a physiologist, and she says I am doing well but I don't feel it all the time. I need someone I can reach out to when I need to talk. Someone who can reassure and motivate me.

I know I will not harm myself. My family is too important, and I have precious grandchildren I want to see grow up.

What do I do? What can I do? I feel like a wimp some days, I just push myself to do things that have to be done. And put everyone else before me. I feel guilty to do anything for me.

Re: Feeling lost and alone.

quirkywords — Sun, 03 Nov 2024 10:03:49 GMT

LJK

welcome to forums and thanks for your post.

7mths is not much time to get used to the loss of your mum and to adapting to a life without her.
Grief has no use by date and you my need to allow yourself time .

After my mum parents died I wrote letters to them in a journal and it helped me.
How would feel bout chatting to a trained counsellor on BeyondBlue support line?

130022436

sometime just talking to someone who listens carefully can help you see things clearer.

Remember you are not alone and we are listening.
Is there something that gives you joy that you can do even for ten mins a day. ?

Re: Feeling lost and alone.

LJK — Mon, 04 Nov 2024 01:16:33 GMT

I enjoy crosswords and jigsaw puzzles. I do these on my iPad. But when I sit and do them, I feel a bit guilty about sitting around instead tackling something that needs doing.

I have 2 males that live in my house, husband and adult son. Asking them to do something is like hitting my head on a brick -- hypothetically. I end up doing it or start to do it before they move. My son is the worst. Getting him moving is almost impossible. Even threatening to kick him out doesn't work. He does work but I work longer hours, and my weekends are taken up with shopping, cleaning and trying to get paperwork done for work.

I am on the committee for a local charity, part of the executive. I tried to get out of it at the AGM this year but couldn't because there are not enough people on the committee as it is. No one wanted my job.

I have just had a blood pressure monitor on for 24 hours, waiting for the results. I try to stay calm and focused but there are days I want to run away.