topic Re: Here to listen & help in Welcome and orientation

Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Mon, 22 May 2023 05:35:26 GMT

Hi...I'm a person who has gone through chronic stress for many many years (though I didn't know it at the time), running my own business, and then afterward, to then crash into burnout and depression. That journey hit the lowest depths back in 2021. 2 years on and through applied habits and changing how I live I'm happy to say things have turned around. My experience was that what I fed my body, mind and brain has helped in this journey, and if I can help 1 person on this forum, or simply listen, then that is why I'm here.

Re: Here to listen & help

Bob_22 — Fri, 26 May 2023 12:09:59 GMT

Hi Andrew

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for being willing to share your story. I recommend you navigate the various threads on the forums and reply to any posts that resonate with you. I would also recommend against using you full name as your username for privacy reasons. Hope to see more of you on the forums and thanks again for helping.

Bob

Re: Here to listen & help

jaz28 — Tue, 23 May 2023 22:45:00 GMT

Hi Andrew,

Thank you for being here, your experience will be invaluable and insightful for everyone. It is inspiring to see that you want to use your experiences to help others, so thank you.

I look forward to reading your future contributions.

Jaz 🙂

Re: Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Wed, 24 May 2023 12:19:47 GMT

Thanks, Bob

Yes, I did read that after I had set things up, regarding my name. I did try and change it, though struggling to find how I do that!

Cheers

Andrew

Re: Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Wed, 24 May 2023 12:20:04 GMT

Thanks Jaz.

Re: Here to listen & help

Bob_22 — Fri, 26 May 2023 09:56:37 GMT

Hi Andrew,

No worries. It seems like you found out how to change it which is good. You can always send any reports or requests to our mod team who are very prompt and helpful. 🙂 I hope you are finding the forums helpful and that you've been able to connect with people so far.

Bob

Re: Here to listen & help

Johnny_ — Fri, 26 May 2023 11:36:27 GMT

Hi Andrew,

thank you for sharing your story and reaching out to others offering assistance, it’s a kind thing to do.

I am recovering from burnout. I have been off work one year now. Initially, I had a break down, loads of tears, my body was super tensed all the time, anxiety/overwhelm was on a hair trigger..but that was at the start. Now, I can go out to shops for short periods of time, nothing too crowded or crazy though, can be mildly active, and eat a clean diet as normal(I like to keep fit) I still get muscle tension and random crying spells which frustrate me…and this is my question..did you experience this at all? also, how long until you felt normal again?
Any info would be great and appreciated. Thankyou again.

Re: Here to listen & help

mmMekitty — Fri, 26 May 2023 12:26:21 GMT

Hello Andrew_G

It's a pleasure to see how you've worked through your stress, burn out & deparession, learning so much during the last two years. I'm sure with your experiences & understanding, you will be able to support & encourage others who are strugglingwith these same or similar problems in their lives.

I wonder, can you point to a few of the most important things you learned or did over the last two years which you tink have been most beneficial to you?

Hugzies, & well done.

mmMekitty

Re: Here to listen & help

mmMekitty — Fri, 26 May 2023 12:48:58 GMT

Hello Johnny_

Well done, you too, recovering as much as you have in a year. What you've gone through sounds so difficult to bear, but you have. Sure it takes a while, & I'm sure you'd like to be improving quicker. I suspect that is something we all can relate to. Your burn-out didn't occur overnight, so I suspect recovery takes a while too.

Be patient & kind to yourself.

For myself, I've had to get used to & accept that sometimes I will cry. Initially I hated it. I still don't like it, mostly because it is so messy, & stuffs up my nose so much. I had felt so frustrated with crying, too, especially when it simply was not convenient. So, yeah, I have had to learn to allow it. I'm still allowed to grumble, while I grab my tissue box.

It does get better. I cry much less frequently now. I also can identify why I am crying & understand very much more, so I can be kinder to myself when I do. I have learned what I cry about is not trivial, nor to be brushed aside as if it is. It's okay now

Also, several months ago, I incorporated exercise & a healthier food choices. Recently, I have begun to feel I am really benefitting from these changes in the way I live.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

Re: Here to listen & help

Johnny_ — Sat, 27 May 2023 09:20:10 GMT

Hi MeKitty,

thankyou soo much for your reply, I certainly feel less alone now and feel better knowing this is just part of my recovery. I still can’t wait until the muscle tension/ anxiety/ crying spells go away…then I’ll be normal again lol.

it sounds like you have a good handle on things and have accepted it’s just part of it. I think I have too as well, it just sucks.

Like you, I remain active making sure I don’t over do it and eat a clean diet. I guess in time our health will be back to normal.

the hard part is my friends are a bit distant as they don’t know how to respond to this..so I really do appreciate your words.

take care.

Re: Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Sun, 28 May 2023 03:33:49 GMT

I found my way back by focusing on my physiology (mostly) to bring my nervous system (autonomic nervous system), into a 'downstate' or downregulation state to begin the recovery process. Essentially when we have burnout, our nervous system is overworked and then begins to not function at all. A bit like the engine of a car being over used, over-revved, and burning out!

So it was rest, though not rest in the version of resting through watching TV or scrolling my phone (these two things can keep you in a sympathetic state, and overworking that nervous system, even though it may seem like rest). Both of these practices require adrenalin to function and that naturally comes from our sympathetic nervous system. The rest I am referring to is finding enough time for the nervous system itself to rest, through breathing to activate my vagus nerve. It become a practise (not long - 5-10 minutes each morning and evening) that helped do this. And then i built layers of other elements on top of this, including getting stronger again through exercise and so on.

My burnout was not just workload though. It was also doing something I had no interest in doing anymore. Yet I owned the business, so was harder to change this. So went on for a long time! Hope this helps.

Re: Here to listen & help

sbella02 — Sun, 28 May 2023 07:02:55 GMT

Andrew,

Such a sweet thread, thank you so much for offering your time and energy here.

I understand what you're saying about burnout - it's not necessarily being overwhelmed with work, it can also be overwhelm from the wrong kind of work, or uninteresting work.

I really like what you've said about overworking the nervous system and how to start resting more, it's true that recovery is born from small steps.

Amazing work!

Re: Here to listen & help

Bob_22 — Sun, 28 May 2023 08:41:30 GMT

Hi Johnny_,

Muscle tension and emotional distress can be very common symptoms of anxiety. I know whenever my anxiety worsened my shoulder joint would inflame as well as other muscles in my body. I would also feel chest pain and become severely short of breath. It took me a few months for these things to calm down after going on the right medication and using proper strategies. It takes time but the fact that you are making progress is a good sign. Here are some example relaxation strategies: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/relaxation-exercises

Hope that helps.

Bob

Re: Here to listen & help

Johnny_ — Sun, 28 May 2023 10:57:47 GMT

Hi Andrew,

Thankyou for your reply. I feel this is what I’m doing more of now. Quiet rest. Limiting electronic stimulus, doing more breathwork and other quieter activities. I still exercise at the gym, nothing strenuous, get regular massage and physio too.

it sounds like I’m on the right path and just need to practice more patients.

I hope you found a new path that you enjoy as it really does make a difference. I enjoy my work and it was just unfortunate I was pushed too hard for too long while I had other health issues.

thanks again.

Re: Here to listen & help

Johnny_ — Sun, 28 May 2023 11:00:30 GMT

Hi Bob,

Thankyou for replying. I appreciate you sharing your story too. I’m informed that anxiety is part of burnout and believe what your saying is right. It’s weird how my anxiety flares up when I get deep tissue massage but I’m managing that.

thankyou for the link, I did t know that was there so I’ll check it out.

thanks again.

Re: Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Sun, 28 May 2023 12:24:38 GMT

Johnny it might be just one of your stress signatures, in that deep tissue massage. Stress and related anxiety can be associated with different things and embodied in different ways for each of us. Hence the personal nature of our stress signature.

Perhaps if knowing that you are having a deep tissue massage, post-massage down-regulation might be an idea straight after it. For instance just asking the massage specialist if you can have 5 minutes and use that time to do some coherent diaphragmatic breathing on a 4060 (4 inhale: 6 exhale) timing might have you walking out of the massage location with a more 'calm' state of mind. If you have an iPhone a good app is Breathe + but there are loads of them.

Re: Here to listen & help

Andrew_G — Sun, 28 May 2023 12:38:08 GMT

Hi mmMekitty

Sure, I'll do my best to help.

Learn't

- we need to rest more than stress (sounds simple, yet such an important first principle of health)

- chronic stress, (losing site of the above point) can take some time to unwind inside the body given how it works, so it takes time

- if you are feeling down, given burnout and depression can share some common symptoms, then reflect on what has led you to that point. I could see all the clues and signs of burnout when I did this reflection. It was quite enlightening and energising to realise this.

- first get the nervous system under control. Rested up and out of sympathetic state, or at least most of the time, unless exercising or some simple problem-solving. It needs to regenerate and get healthy again.

- use exercise for controlled stress but also BDNF production, which comes from the body (muscle activation) and can begin to help heal the brain again. BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) helps neuroplasticity and brain health, particularly learning and memory.

- use breathing to bring about a parasympathetic deep resting state. The usual way to do this is applying a 10-sec breath 4060 (4 inhale:6 exhale) using the nose ideally. Nose has a strong connection to activate the diaphragm in that extended exhale, and this in turn provides great vagal nerve activation (or otherwise know as vagal toning). The vagus nerve is our most prominent parasympathetic nerve in the body and it promotes down-regulation.

- get off technology as much as possible

- start the day super well, and choose to live differently, if how you were living was not serving you well.