topic Is it selfish to say: Why me? in Welcome and orientation

Is it selfish to say: Why me?

Peaceful Mayhem — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 23:28:10 GMT

I am a mid 30s female and have high functioning anxiety and depression.

I lost my best friend to suicide just after finishing highschool which had a huge impact on me. I've never been able to make friends easily anyway, but after that whenever I find myself in a downward spiral, I push anyone who care about me away.

When my parents split, my father attempted to end his life numerous times. And on Xmas eve, both my parents attempted. As a result, I absolutely hate Christmas and happy family situations.

I have been bullied at work by people in managerial positions. I decided to stand up and make it heard, but all it did was shine a spotlight on me and my mental health issues as the "problem".

My partner and I of 14 years split up on new years eve. Mutual agreement, but still very heartbreaking.

I am constantly asked when I am going to have kids - Like it is a compulsory part of life. But after everything that life has thrown at me, why would I WANT to have a child? To pass on my mental illness and insecurities onto some poor kid... to please people who wanted to end their own lives at one point regardless of the effects it would have on their own children.... to bring a child into this messed up life of mine....

I cant even sort my own life out.

Back to the question, am I selfish for cursing the world and saying: Why me?

*note: yes I have seen psychologists and am taking prescription medications for all of my problems. I'm not suicidal. I just need to vent somewhere to someone. I live in QLD and have no family and no friends here, all I have is my cats - as wonderful as they are, venting to them just doesn't seem to have the same effect 🙂

Thanks for listening ♡

☆it's okay not to be okay

☆it's not weak to speak

Re: Is it selfish to say: Why me?

Panthora — Sat, 18 Mar 2023 03:38:00 GMT

Hello Peaceful Mayhem, You have found a good place to vent. You are no more selfish than anyone else, aren't we all at different times? To ask "why me" is even "normal". You've had a hell of a hard life, so don't be hard on yourself as well. It's difficult to make new friends, I moved to Tasmania some years ago from Sydney, and I have found one new friend after joining various social and hobby groups over several years. Remind yourself that even small conversations with strangers may, in time, lead to greater friendships.

Re: Is it selfish to say: Why me?

Peaceful Mayhem — Sat, 18 Mar 2023 11:05:11 GMT

Thanks for the response Panthora. I appreciate the reassurance that how I feel is not considered selfish. Some days are just worse than others. Particularly with the anxiety, I can even leave the house some days.

I have been to Tasmania a long time ago. It is a beautiful place and I would love to go back one day.