topic Hello in Welcome and orientation

Hello

Chipmunk — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 12:10:11 GMT

Hi all.

newbie here. I decided to join because I just simply need help. I’ve never been good at asking for help or admitting when I need it but it’s to the point that I’m now struggling. I have severe anxiety, severe depression, ptsd and post natal depression. Lately everything has just creeped up on me and I’m feeling so confused and overwhelmed over it all.

Does anyone have any advice to jus start to cope or how to handle all these? I have a daughter and I feel guilty that I have depression like I feel I should be happy all the time. I just need help 😞

Hello

geoff — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 18:43:42 GMT

Hello Chipmunk, and a warm welcome to the forums.

It's not easy when you feel like this to ask for help, as you may try and convince yourself that your problems are yours and from what other people have previously said they have been able to overcome it themselves, but each one of us is different as are the circumstances, so what you're struggling with could be in another form.

It's unsure whether of these conditions started the others, but know from myself that PND can begin the aggression of the others, or perhaps vice-versa, not that I'm qualified to say.

We are horrified when any of one of these conditions begins to control us and do feel empathy for the kid/s we're trying to raise, but somehow they learn to adjust, the most important part is that you have not brought on any undeserved burden onto someone else’s life, we want to help you.

If you are aged 25 or under then Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 maybe able to help you by phone or online chat.

If you are able to contact your doctor and ask them about the mental health plan, this will entitle you to 10 Medicare paid sessions to visit a psych, and because you feel hesitate then write down what's troubling you now, in the past and in the future, then all you have to do is just pass this onto the psych, this will help when you're asked 'how can I help you'.

Please come back because there's much more to talk about from our own experience.

Take care.

Geoff.

[LINK href='"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/hello--E46B5C73C392?actionMode=replyPost&postId=f02926ab-f371-61bc-846e-ff0000e9d3fc#" unselectable="on" tabindex="-1">

Hello

Tay100 — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 04:31:52 GMT

Hi Chipmunk

It sounds like you are trying your best to be there for your daughter as well as for yourself, but this can be hard when we are battling other things- the good news is reaching out here is a great place to ask for help. We are a non-judgemental and compassionate community who can provide general support or point you in the direction of further help if you like too. Would you like to share more of your story, if you feel ok with that? No pressure at all.

Tay100

Hello

sunnyl20 — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 05:56:01 GMT

Hey Chipmunk,

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling and that things are feeling so overwhelming. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you right now. Seeking help can feel really daunting and uncomfortable, I am glad you have felt able to reach out. Please know there is no shame in seeking help, I'm sorry it is something you have struggled with but it is more than okay to ask for help. We are here to listen.

Do you have a close family member or friend or a GP/health professional that you feel able to talk to about what has been happening? It could be really helpful to talk to someone so that they can give you the support you need and check in with you as/when you need it. If you are open to it, writing can also be a really helpful process when things feel really overwhelming - writing can help organise your thoughts a bit more, it may help you see what is going on from a different perspective and it can help externalise a little of the stress and emotion that you are going through. Is there anything or anyone that has helped you in the past when things have reached a tipping point?

Also, please know you do not need to feel guilt for struggling with your mental health. I have also struggled with feelings of guilt (particularly feeling like a burden to family) when I have been unwell, but please know that you do not need to feel guilty. You need to be kind to yourself, you need to give yourself the space and time to focus on getting through this dark period, whatever that looks like for you.

Please do not hesitate to talk more if and when you feel up to it. Take care.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 06:39:04 GMT

Hey all for replying back, I’ve never been good at talking about my issues.

I feel better knowing I’m not alone. Bit of a back story. I’m going to trigger warming it and I’m sorry if I upset anyone. I was abused by my dad for pretty much my whole childhood, I only opened up last year about it all and all of it is still really messing my head up. My family isn’t coping with it all and it really taking a toll on me.

I’ve spoke to friends and my gp I see someone but with COVID it’s a bit harder. But sometimes I feel like that my friends just don’t care, like I could be so depressed but it’s hard to tell them.

this is the first time I’ve really hit tipping point, like I just wannA curl up in a ball and not move, Besides my daughter I feel so alone.

Hello

Guest_4643 — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 06:44:56 GMT

Hello Chipmunk, welcome to the forums.

Good on you for coming here and reaching out. I have anxiety, depression & PTSD aswell, but not Postnatal Depression as I'm only 21 & don't have kids, never had a relationship. But I still understand with the anxiety, depression & PTSD.

I'm here if you would like someone to talk to, or just someone to listen.

Hello

sunnyl20 — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 07:36:51 GMT

I am really sorry that happened to you, that is awful. I cannot imagine how painful it would have been to keep that to yourself and not feel able to open up about it for such a long time. It sounds like you are feeling very isolated with not a lot of support, which is really tough. Would you feel comfortable talking to your GP about potentially getting a Mental Health Care Plan to link you in with someone who may be able to help you cope with what you have been through/are going through? If this feels too difficult or too much, the Blue Knot Foundation (https://www.blueknot.org.au/) has some great resources and a telephone support line for people who have experienced childhood trauma. Lifeline (13 11 14) is also another option for more immediate support.

There is also the trauma-specific thread of the beyond blue online forums (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/ptsd-trauma) (you may already be aware in which case my apologies). You may find some helpful words and support there too.

I really hope you are able to find the support that you need. Take care.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 08:33:19 GMT

Thank you, I think I just wanna talk to someone without being judged. A lot of my friends just call me weird for being the way I am, it’s like they wouldn’t understand.

I’ve seen the dr and I have a mental health plan, but cause of Chrissy amd New Years my dr is closed so I can’t get another one yet. I just want to talk to someone who understands and can help me through it. Because I am feeling more and more guilty of feeling depressed especially with my daughter.

Hello

Guest_4643 — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 09:35:59 GMT

I won't judge you, nobody here will. It's a safe place here.

I don't understand with the parent stuff, I do apologise for that, but I understand with the anxiety, PTSD, etc.

Hello

sunnyl20 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 00:13:10 GMT

Hey Chipmunk,

I am really sorry your friends are not understanding and that you don't feel able to talk to them. While you are waiting for your GP, it could be really helpful to reach out to the counsellors at Blue Knot on 1300 657 380 (9am-5pm Mon-Sunday), they are very understanding and can offer you support over the phone or via their webchat. You are obviously more than welcome to talk about what you are struggling with on here, but I just thought I would suggest Blue Knot as well if you wanted to talk to someone in real time.

Take care.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 02:43:51 GMT

Thankyou. I will definitely get on to them.
I just want my friends to maybe try to realise that I’m not okay that I just put on a brave face (I’ve dropped lots of hints) as stated never been good at showing emotions.

I constantly feel like a burden, like because I’m not social like all my friends and they just assume. It’s hard. I also feel constantly dirty like no matter how many times I shower or that I feel gross.

I have a very supportive partner, he’s been amazing through all of this. I’m surprised he’s stuck by me to be honest. I guess sometimes I’m scared to be alone with my thoughts, I don’t sleep much anymore I just can’t shake this feeling

Hello

Guest_4643 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 02:46:46 GMT

Hey Chipmunk.

You're not a burden, although I can 100% relate to how you feel there. I'm here for you. I'm glad you have a supportive partner though. I hope coming on here helps you.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 03:28:02 GMT

Hey Mb20lover.

how do I stop thinking I am? How can I get through one day of the week without completely wanting to breakdown? I’m tired and exhausted I feel like I only hang on for my daughter sometimes. I just want to feel happy again.

Hello

Tay100 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 04:03:04 GMT

Hi Chipmunk

Thankyou for sharing your story some more- that takes bravery, so we really appreciate it. It helps us help you- and it seems there has been some great dialogue and ideas exchanged already. Do seeking any of these services seem appealing to you? Are there any barriers that we can help you overcome in accessing these services? Let us know and we can brainstorm, a bit if you like.

Tay100

Hello

Guest_4643 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 05:45:03 GMT

I know how you feel Chipmunk, I really do, apart from the Daughter because I'm only 21 & don't have kids, never had a relationship anyway.

I guess maybe just try and tell yourself you're worthy of love, kindness, care, and all good in the world, and that it's ok to struggle?

It's funny, I can try and tell people that but I can never take that advice myself.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 10:28:17 GMT

Thankyou Tay100.
some of them definitely do look appealing, I guess I’m just scared to start talking about it more because I’m afraid I’ll just have a melt down. I know I need to open up and talk to someone but this it took everything I had to write here. I would love to brainstorm ideas to overcome it. I’m tired of keeping it bottled up and letting it destroy me.

Mb20lover, I know what you mean, like I have people come to me for advice and I tell them the same thing but I need to practice what I preach. I think it’s easier saying instead of doing. I wouldn’t change my daughter for the world, she’s my life one of not the only reason I continue on day after day.

Hello

sunnyl20 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 11:03:00 GMT

I know you cannot see it, but you are not a burden. You have been through and are going through a lot. I know this is easier said than done, but maybe it is helpful to imagine how you would view someone who was in your position, how you would speak to them and whether you would view them as a burden. You deserve kindness, support and patience. It sounds like your partner and your daughter are big strengths for you, I am really glad that you have them to be with.

It sounds like it took a lot of courage and strength to write on here, I'm sorry you struggle so much to seek help, it must feel so awful. But bottling it up will destroy you (as you mentioned above). Maybe trying one of the online chats (Lifeline and Blue Knot both have web chats) might be an option first before trying a phoneline. But please also know that these phone lines are confidential, it is okay if you cry or break down, they are trained to help you and they will be there for you. Does continuing as you are right now feel more or less frightening than reaching out for help? Could writing down what you might want to say help in talking online or over the phone with a support service? Could you practice talking aloud what you might say before calling? Sorry for all the questions, you obviously don't have to answer them, it is more just trying to help brainstorm.

Take care Chipmunk. We're here for you.

Hello

Chipmunk — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 11:46:44 GMT

Hey Sunnyl20.

right now I feel better writing in here, I know that someone is listening to me and I’m not being judged, I feel relieved someone understands these emotions these feelings I’m going through. I am going to get confidence or strength to talk to someone else.

im exhausted of feeling the way I do, I wanna somehow go back to the happy person I once was. Then again that may never happen because that would be before I turned 7

Hello

Guest_4643 — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 12:06:13 GMT

I understand Chipmunk, I love your username also. I always feel like a burden, even to professionals. I've even been told by a so called "professional" that I am one, sigh. Of course I complained.

Yes these forums can be very beneficial & therapeutic

Hello

Chipmunk — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 12:30:45 GMT

That’s part of the reason I don’t like seeing them because I don’t know if they are judging me, and Thankyou, I’ve been told I remind people of a chipmunk.

I feel like I can express what I’m feeling and I know you all have my back with it all.

Thankyou all for making me feel so welcoming it’s a relief to be able to try and discuss my emotions somewhere I know I’m accepted