topic Some positive thoughts in Welcome and orientation

Some positive thoughts

MRivers — Fri, 31 May 2019 07:30:41 GMT

Hi Everyone! My first post here - go easy on me 😄

Earlier today, using the entire 2500 characters I had written up a major essay on how my life has become a struggle, but then I accidentally deleted it!

In the meantime I have been working on a cover letter and resume for a job I am applying for and have found that since doing it I feel somewhat more positive about myself and urge anyone having a rough time to try this even if you are not going for a job. Sit down and write up a proper resume and list all the good stuff you've achieved over your life. I believe its a fairly standard exercise to combat low self-esteem to write a list of all your positive qualities but I've found in the past just doing this in isolation I would often find my negative self saying "yeah but I'm a fake", or "I cheated", or some other self-sabotaging nonsense (cos it really is just nonsense)! I'm wondering if the task of writing a resume gives a formal, specific focus to find those positive experiences and aspects in your life without that negative self-talk getting in the way. And if you are younger and have not yet entered the workforce I guess you could do something similar using achievements at school/sports/interests/hobbies as a basis for this.

Just to further illustrate my point I am a shorter stature guy (162cm) on the path to mending my self esteem and I made the mistake yesterday of reading a bunch of blogs and articles about how shorter guys are discriminated against/Napoleon syndrome etc. Of all my negative self-talk in the past that's never really been a major issue to me but I was left feeling pretty rotten and depressed, but as i said after writing up a resume and thinking about my achievements in a formal setting it's put me back into a more positive headspace.

Finally one other thing is I never used to fully understand what is meant by not giving a "f***" about others. Its not that you shouldn't care about other people's situation in life or their welfare, but that its none of your business what their opinion is of you, and their opinion has nothing to do with your value as a person.

Do unto yourself (as well as others) as you would have others do unto you is my golden rule.

Riding this wave of life with you all - see you out there!

Some positive thoughts

Summer Rose — Fri, 31 May 2019 10:30:18 GMT

Hi MickRivers

Welcome to the bb forum and thanks so much for sharing your positivity. I'm so glad that you got your resume done and that it was such a rewarding experience.

We all have faults and we all make mistakes, but we all also do some amazing stuff. Taking time to remember and appreciate the good is so important.

Sometimes we can do it independently, sometimes a little help goes a long way. My daughter and I are very close and whenever one of us feels down on ourselves we use an inside saying, tell me something nice.

That's the cue for the other to offer a hug and some positive reinforcement. We get through the rough patches together. Sort of like the way we all respond on the forum.

Kind thoughts to you

Some positive thoughts

MRivers — Fri, 31 May 2019 23:29:11 GMT

Thank you for the kind words Summer Rose.

I grew up in an environment that although on the surface was loving and I was provided for - there was the constant criticism, comparisons and manipulation from family members that flowed through to my inner thoughts and became the norm as I matured.

It has only been in recent years following an abusive relationship (that I am still in the process of leaving) that I realised I needed help to make some changes within myself.

Counselling has been a step in the right direction, as has the support from friends.

This forum is also a welcome source, although I must admit, even whilst reading your message I still have these cringey feelings when I experience such positivity. I'm still not sure why that is.

Thanks again.